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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 6/30/2006 10:15:51 PM | You do not own anyone .... you do not control anyone .... the more you push and pull the more you drive someone away.
If youwant someone off of a site . give them the reason to be and talk to them about it. .... but first . make sure your commitment levels are equal and comfortable. Maybe he was on there finding out relationship advise from some women he met there.
Quite frankly, its none of your business. | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 6/30/2006 11:18:03 PM | | I really think you should bring it up in conversation, the sooner, the better. I lived with a man that I thought was the love of my life for two years, and unbeknownst to me, he was carrying on relationships with a couple of other women he met through the internet. I was a completely faithful woman while he continued to play around. It was horrible when I found out, I have abolutely no sense of humour about this. Do what's right for you, babe. | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 7/1/2006 2:13:17 AM | That's lousy. My ex wanted a 2nd chance and we both agreed to delete our profiles in here then the next night she was having 3 simultaneous conversations with MSN Messenger from guys trying to court here from PoF!!! She's now moving out tomorrow! Sorry but I dont date women that want to have their cake and eat it too!
Dump him, he's shopping for something better. I'd confront him to hear his lame excuse then dump him anyways! | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 7/1/2006 9:30:06 AM |
Create a fake account (with an attractive picture of someone else, could be from your friend or MySpace or whatever), message him and see what he says. You'll have your answer right there.
This test totally works, but it hurts the relationship because once you decided to conduct this test, you already have doubts with your relationship. If you really trust him, you should not even have a single thought about doing this test.
Bluejia is right again... smart lady.
In "testing" the guy and the relationship (any test), you have also failed the relationship since it shows that you do not trust him. So you gotta decide which is more important, always feeling protected from other people which will prevent you from becoming fully intimate with someone, OR taking a risk in trusting someone and letting go of small things such as an account on a stupid website...
which I gotta point out again that you're active on this dating website and complaining about him doing the same thing... | |
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Ahhh!
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Joined: 3/11/2006
Msg: 437 | |
| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 7/3/2006 4:08:36 PM |
I got curious and went back to that site and did a search, and found his profile...listed as "active in the last 24 hours". I have checked back a couple of times over the last week, and each time his profile shows that he is 'active in the last 24 hours' on the site. I know that that site is good about keeping this information acurate.
Should I say something to him or just stop communications. I am hurt by this...I am unjustified?
before you go off on me...I am not judging you in any way. Is there a lack of trust already that you would be 'curios' enough to check that he was still actively on a dating site?
A friend of mine recently told me he has a new girlfriend he met thru POF, yet his profile is still posted here as someone looking for 'long term'..I asked him about it, saying 'if you have a girlfriend, why are u still on here?"...his reply was 'because she is"...well, in my opinion, neither one of them is taking the relationship seriously. I advised him to either remove his profile or, as many others do, state CLEARLY in your profile you are spoken for if you wish to remain on the site if only to find new friends or chat in the forums. It is misleading to others who might take an interest. | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 7/4/2006 8:08:57 PM | | I think this is a problem in communication. There are all kinds of relationships-- and degrees to them. When I start seeing a man I assume unless committed is discussed and agreed upon, then we are not in an exclusive relationship. Seeing someone for a couple of weeks or months doesn't make it exclusive unless it is talked about. Seems to me that making this kind of assumption leads to communication problems down the road too. Just my two cents, anyway. | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 7/6/2006 3:15:06 PM | I would definately say something. I just went through the same thing. I was really into this guy we saw each other like every other day and spent hours on teh phone he even met my kids and my dad. But then he started acting weird with me and my sister said he was looking for osmeone else. He was the first person I had dated since I got married ten years ago and I didn't want to beleive that yet another man could be so heartless. My sister wanted to see what he looked like so I sent her a link to his profile, (which we had agreed we would not be on POF aymore) anyway I sent her a link, she started talking to him on yahoo and asked if he was seeing anyone or talking to anyone and he said no, Then she sent him my pic. He called and told me I was playing games. I was really hung up on this guy, waited around all day for him to call, stood by his side after two different jobs fell through, intoduced him to my children, I relaly liked him. After this all came out with my sister his response was that he wanted to be with a woman who could give him another child, whiich is something I cant, a point I made the first time we really talked about anything serious. I have three children and can not have anymore. He was ok with it, until he was busted lying, then it was a problem. I think if a guy ant break away from teh computer to be in a relationship and see where it goes then he is destined to be alone and he will continue to hurt females finding retarded reasons why it didnt work, never taking responsibility for wht he did wrong. He will just chew em up and spit em out
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 7/8/2006 12:20:38 PM | Too many pages to read every comment so I'll just answer the main question.
"What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?"
If the guy/girl are still registered on a dating site once they have entered a relationship then it is really no big deal. Aslong as the person plans on remaining faithfull then there is no major problem with it. It could be the person has friends they talk to through the site, friends who dont have msn.
Aslong as the person doesnt have intentions on cheating then theres really nothing wrong with it. | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 7/9/2006 2:50:03 AM | | well....what a subject this is...i have one view on this...men who do this are complete dogs! and if there was a way that i could contact every woman who this is happening to i would in a heartbeat...so i would suggest that if you are a man doing this you had better not contact me...i am not a spiteful person but i would actually love blowing you out of the water...and just remember all you men out there...women do and will stick together on this subject..and for all the women out there actually debating on doing this knowingly give your head a shake...once a cheater... ALWAYS A CHEATER! ...and what comes around goes around... | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 7/9/2006 6:26:58 AM | I know the topic was directed at men who do this but to label them as dogs means that in all fairness you should be labeling all women who do it as dogs too, and there are some women here who have admitted to doing it.
Believe it or not men and women can be "only friends", there's a whole topic (maybe more than one) thats still pretty active on this forum, if I was in a relationship and I had some female friends who I talked to through this then I would stay on and talk to them, that doesnt automatically make me a cheat.
Basically it all comes down to trust, if you dont trust the guy to come onto a website and not cheat then you shouldnt really be going out with him in the 1st place. | |
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bdr109
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Joined: 4/30/2006
Msg: 449 | |
| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 7/9/2006 7:59:37 AM | When a relationship is just starting out everyone is very excited etc. and he may have just forgot all about the profile on a dating site. I have done this at least once in the past. Being oblivious to one's surroundings most of the time is how many of us get through life with a smile.. 
When this happens it should be discussed because just reacting to it can sometimes cause a perfectly good relationship to end. | |
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jyles
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Joined: 3/15/2005
Msg: 450 | |
| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 7/11/2006 12:24:23 AM | Really, do you have to ask this question!!!! I think you have already answered it.
Your not really in a serious relationship.
If he or she is really serious about the relationship they know whether or not they are still on a dating website. And take actions to prevent it from becoming an issue. Unless they are totally incompetant. Come on now. | |
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