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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 9/1/2006 2:04:01 PM | I just went through that this week on here. Theres this girl who had a good (so she thought) relationship with this guy she met off of here a few mths ago. He deleted his ad when they became exclusive, or so she thought. He actually just started one up with a different city on his profile, but even still left his pic on, but even if she were to go check to see if he was on, it wouldnt show up because of the city, but he could still message women in their city.
He actually contacted me as one of his potentials,very charming and believable, and I got an e-mail from this woman who let his girlfriend know what her man was doing. Needless to say, their relationship ended, hes still on here, shes a mess, and welcome to the internet dating world.
Portia | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 9/1/2006 2:04:52 PM | If you are to the point of commiting to this man, then ask him for some commitment in return if he is not into it or not ready then you know where you stand. If you dont ask you wont know. But if you are wanting more than what he can give feel free to move on cause, honey something better IS out there... its a foregone conclusion.
But we all have to say at some point we are content where we are and stop looking for more.
Being in love doesnt mean having your mind blown away every day by how great someone is.
It simply means sacrifice. Are you willing to sacrifice "the great guy you havent met yet" for the one who makes you feel comfortable and loved on a daily basis.
People with kids i think understand this more, because when you love your children you sacrifice yourself for them, for what is best for them on a daily basis. Sometimes its unrewarding... But you do it, because YOU LOVE THEM. | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 9/1/2006 7:42:33 PM | If it's bothering you, you should definitely bring it up. If you've been intimate and have promised exclusivity, then I would call that cheating.
He's keeping his options open. Bring it up with him, if he does not take it down, then you have your answer.
Can you cope with it? Would you want to date him and still keep looking for yourself too? If not, he needs to go. | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 9/4/2006 6:28:02 PM | | I am so glad that I saw this, this is happening to me now, I have been seeing this guy for two yrs now. he calls me his girlfriend but sometimes I don't feel like one. because he is on the dating site too. and he tells me that he is on here to make friends and give advice and help others. I asked him to change his profile because he has looking for "long term" and I don't want any females that talk to him to get the wrong idea that he is looking for a date. because he told me that he would tell them he is in a relationship and they need to respect that. | |
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Ahhh!
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Joined: 3/11/2006
Msg: 533 | |
| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 9/4/2006 7:09:27 PM | | Well...there have been a couple guys I was seeing regularlily and removed my profile within a couple of days...and likewise for him (atleast as far as I know). Right now, i'm seeing someone,and we aren't defining it as anything too serious right now, but we both know we're not interested in meeting anyone else. So, my profile is still up...so is his...but I'm not worrried about losing him to someone else. I"m here for the forums now... can't keep me away from those. | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 9/4/2006 9:07:18 PM | It does sound like he's "keeping his options open". The reasoning of maintaining an online presence on a dating site for the sake of saying hello to friends is insane. If they are friends he would have a regular email address for a contact. Is he paying a premium to be on that site? Why don't you just ask him where, if anywhere, he sees the two of you going and see if you on the same page.
NEVER ALLOW SOMEONE TO BE A PRIORITY IN YOUR LIFE WHILE ALLOWING YOURSELF TO THEIR OPTION. | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 9/4/2006 9:21:39 PM | | i was in a relationship fer over four years- juat got myself out- and my ex, father to both my boys, couldn't stay away from dating sites- he wanted to leave me but didnt want to be alone, i can only assume- everytime hed get caught, hed get mad and say it wasnt him- i know it was always lies, obviously, no one is gonna look fer another person on someone else's name. i would suggest staying away from idiots like that, if you have feelings, like most human beings, youll prolly get hurt... im sure im wrong about a small percentage of ppl who do this, but think fer a minute- cant thay talk to buddies on msn, or the phone, or... how long should i make the list of options? peace and good luck, renee | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 9/4/2006 9:43:08 PM | Problem is that we put out a profile....... and we get hit up with so many more options than ever. So we seem to turn the old standard dating ritual into a judging contest that has 1000s of contestants. If we are going to be with someone the rest of our lives we want to pick the right one. So what use to be just the local area clubs, bars, churches, so on is now the entire world....... We are all holding out for that next level that we might be missing out on. I have been married twice and I myself would like for next marriage to be my last. I have been single since 2003 and am not in any rush to award a live commitment until they have been with me for some time. It takes months for the real person to come to the surface. I dated a woman who's bi polar personality did not show up for a year.. then watch out I would have never made it a year married to this woman...... I lost out on some else who would have been more of a match for me due to wasting my time with her. So in my opinion He might be in a holding pattern to finally award you the winner but is reluctant to turn off the search until he can 100% in his mind close the deal. But in the back of our minds we should remember the following little story: and this goes for men or women: and me too. Not to be too picky in life:
Husband Store:
A store that sells husbands has just opened in New York
City, where a woman may go to choose a husband.
Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:
You may visit the store ONLY ONCE !
There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase
as the shopper ascends the flights. There is, however, a catch. You may choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!
So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband.
On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 - These men have jobs and love the Lord.
The second floor sign reads:
Floor 2 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, and love
kids.
The third floor sign reads:
Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, and are extremely good looking.
"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going. She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads:
Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop-dead good looking and help with the housework.
"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims,
"I can hardly stand it!" Still, she goes to the fifth floor and
sign reads:
Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop-dead gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak.
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 6 - You are visitor 4,363,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. Watch your step as you exit the building, and have a nice day!
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 9/5/2006 10:12:47 AM | | I think there is something rotten in Denmark,or it could just be this guy!!Seriously hun,I went out with a guy who swore up and down he had taken his profile off this particular site,of course he hadn't.He said he still had friends he talked to on here,but if that was the case then why couldn't they just get his instant messenger for that?Now that hes dating someone else,his profile still says seeking long term relationship...I think he's trying to start a harem lol. | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 9/5/2006 8:05:25 PM | Hi
This happened to me about 2 months ago and I did something that I have never done before just to find out if he would reply......yes I made up a profile and put down that I was someone else......he caught the bait and we were to meet as someone else..(my mistake was not following through with it and meeting up with him ( as someone else) instead I sent him an text message and said "don't waste any gas because _______ because she won't be there....
Infact he turned around and said he knew it was me ( which he didn't).....
anyway set it up and catch him out then you will know for sure.....it is hard to do but if you want to find out weather his is just chating or really looking for something else....
by the way we are not together anymore ( I also met him on a dating site...
I hope that helps | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 9/5/2006 8:19:21 PM | To me, it really depends on what his profile states. I've got my eye on someone right now, we've just started seeing each other. So, you ask... what am I still doing here? It not at all about "keeping my options open", I'm not curious as to what else is out there... I like the guy I'm seeing alot. I'm here strictly for the forums now, and have changed my profile to relay this to others. Maybe this is what he's up to as well.
I think you should give your sweetie a chance to explain himself before you just cut off communication alltogether, tell him that it hurts you - he may have no idea.
D | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 9/6/2006 9:04:32 AM | Well I had a Guy that found me on dating site I think ur referring 2!
We talked for weeks on fone, then he wanted me to delete all my dating sites,
and not chat w/ anyone from them as he fed me this big line..!
And I noticed he was still on the dating site in last 24 hrs.
While I'am as tru blu as they come I will not be a fool....!
When questioned him he would give me some bull.... that he wasn't on their,
but checking his email, from collage friends, which by the way has nothing to do w/ the dating sites, and are 2 seperate sites...! 
So I decided to catch him at his own game, which I'am glad I did...1 
I would like to know why guy's play these hurtful, inmature games on those of us. seriously looking for someone to spend a life w/?
And why bother paying for a dating site if ur not what u say or just to play mind games w/
Real Honest PPL...?
Maybe I should make a knew thread for this discussion...?  | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 9/6/2006 10:52:21 AM | Not good is like cheating than. This is an online dating service. I met the man I will marry here and I explained how this made me feel uncomfortable and he deletedd his now I am going to delete mine. I just enjoy the forum and threads and chatting with women and men who are going through the same things. Communication and honesty are the key here.Ask him if you guys are in a committed relationship or not and if you do not like his response then say goodbye now before you get more hurt.
Leanne | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 9/6/2006 12:53:16 PM | | i dont think much of them at all. i agree you should change your status and say you are seeing some one ..mind you ive only been on this website 10 days or so and there are other things just as bad. hands up who has emails and does nt reply to them. ive a couple to to reply to,but if some one takes time to email me i should take time to email back even if it a well mannered no thank you and an explanation why. yes communication and honesty are the key, but again hands up who feels they are talking to themselves some times? | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 9/6/2006 2:19:40 PM | This archaic notion that we should all find that "one special someone" and then stop looking is a real drag. People are not property; our libidos like our bodies were not meant to be owned by anyone, for any reason. This form of social slavery must not be allowed to go unchallenged. We must as a people cast off these sexual shackles and walk in the sweet light of freedom. I envision a day when people of all races and sexes can rub and touch each other regardless of there relationship status! When slave words like Cheater and Adultery have lost their meaning when people everywhere can live as they were meant to live in sexual oneness and freedom! Free at last, free at last, thank Masters & Johnson* free at last!
* Masters and Johnson were a pioneering team in the field of human sexuality | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 9/7/2006 5:07:43 PM | | That is the one thing that makes me uneasy about meeting and beginning a relationship with someone online. It makes me wonder if after awhile, he will go back online and begin talking to women again. I had a friend who married a man who she thought was so wonderful.. They had met at a dating site. They were married after about a year of dating, she worked days, and her hubby worked nights.. One of her friends from work told her that he had a profile online still.. She went online at work, looked it up, sent him and email and he responded, telling her that he was separated. She was so hurt. Can you really trust someone to give up the internet dating thing? | |
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