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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 10/17/2006 8:32:51 PM | I have not taken the time to read all the responses to this thread, but just to reply to the initial topic..
I wouldn't just "stop communication" with him without first talking about your feelings and finding out what his feelings are. He may have some logical reason for still being on the site (well, logical in HIS mind... lol).. and might not be aware that it would bother you.
SO, I would approach it as a light conversation about the site y'all met on and say that you noticed he was still active on it.. then just ask if he's on there for any particular reason or does he still feel the need to see what his other options are. IF that's the case, then he's not completely smitten with you and you will have to deal with that in whatever way you feel comfortable with (either give it time and see if he comes around or move on and keep YOUR options open as well).
OR, he could be on the site JUST to see if he can STILL get women (it's an ego thing). Not that he really wants to act on it, but his insecurities may 'cause him to stay there just so he can feel wanted by other women (which he'd get that feeling if a woman sent him a message or whatever).
But really.. he may just like reading forums, blogging, chatting with groups he's in, or participating in some other service the site offers.
BASICALLY.. there's TONS of reasons why he could still be there.. and you just need to ASK to find out. :) | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 10/17/2006 9:06:36 PM | Keeping step.... Your dealing with a two-faced,chicken-s#*t,COWARD! Dump his worthless butt, But do it in the same double-standard wh=ay he does... Sign-up/on in a different name, (Do you see where im going with this?!) Lead him on, you recently got a "LARGE" settlement ect.ect. not to mention was left a huge house from a uncle ect.ect.
Play him for a few weeks,as in real life you watch his responce to you....
Then You set-up a meet in a public bar of your chooseing,with lots of your friends there(Cam-corder too!). You might even get the bartender in on this,they of all people know what your going thru!
Do I need to go on......
M. | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 10/19/2006 12:40:23 AM | I like the way you think Marckaus! Very creative
I am fresh off the press dealing with this issue. I was impressed with our first date, and looked forward to future dates with her. After she left last night, I logged on to read the forums, and saw that she had logged on here, because her user name for here came up when I clicked in to check the forums. I thought cool, she wrote me a cool message saying she had fun or something fun.
SO, I logged on to see what message if any she left me. Needless to say, there were no messages which had me wondering if she was checking her messages, or checking out others on here. I kind of overlooked that issue for the night, and let it be water under the bridge.
Today, she came over to my place again, and we watched a movie together (Over the Hedge) and I thought cool she's interested. Then she logs onto my computer in my presence once again to check her messages. Let's see that makes STRIKE 2 or 3? Strike 2.
I almost wonder if it makes me "old school" to think that a date with someone would lead to another, and another, and another, and so on. Each continued date leading up to the BIG time relationship that I'm sure everybody hopes for. I don't think it's asking too much that if dating someone, please don't be surfing for the blonde out there with bigger boobs or better body on www. whatever date site .com. So I'm naive to think that if I can go without window shopping the dating sites while dating someone so can they.
I did the reverse psychology thing, and asked her the million dollar question. If I showed up at her house, and used her computer to surf the dating sites, while I should be focusing my attention on spending time with her, and not her computer access, would she feel comfortable dating me? No is her final answer Regis!
So, after 3 dates with her, without thinking I'm psychic, I don't see things progressing, so I'm back here fishing once again for someone that can go a date or 2 without the need to check to see if they have other messages from other guys!  Strike 3 which happened last night as well is for another forum, somewhere! Sorry but she's OUT! | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 10/19/2006 7:37:06 AM | GeorgieLeopard, I agree with you. Met a guy on POF. Described himself as a nice guy.We had many common interests. Exchanged emails and IM's, finally set up a face-to-face meeting. Hit it off, decided we wanted to see each other again. Sent him an email telling him what a nice time I had, and was looking forward to seeing him again.He read the message, but didn't reply.Said he'd call, but didn't.Didn't respond to IM's. I noticed someone had added him to their Favorites.My gut instincts kicked in big time.Invited him to my place, knowing that if something was up, he'd decline the invitation. BINGO! Received an apologetic email from him.Seems he'd been seeing 2 other women, one of whom he'd been out with twice, but wasn't sure if she wanted to see him anymore. So he decided to "play the field", go out with me.Well, she decided she did want to see him again, so I was dropped like a hot potato.This after claiming in his profile that he wasn't a "serial dater" or interested in "playing the field."He also said he felt we couldn't move to the next level.And you know this after one date????Did find it interesting that he still had me as one of his Favorites.I deleted him from my Favorites, and deleted myself from his Favorites as well. Sent him an email letting him know I'd done it and why.
Can we say "player" boys and girls???? I feel sorry for the gal he's seeing now. Hope he doesn't do the same thing to her. | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 10/24/2006 8:21:39 AM | | I came across this post and had to say my peace.. personally I think you get into something you should pull your profile.. I've been known to have ignored my profile and left it up but that ain't no excuse.. I know there may be the flip side that people may have made friends online and are only on to contact them.. but at that point there profile should reflect there status in all forms.. headline, status and body of profile. If your not going to be that into a relationship to make those changes then why be in the relationship to begin with. Now i don't know if it's been covered in the 26 pages of this post but this is not solely attributed to males staying on during a relationship.. I've dealt with women who do the exact same thing.. And trust me as hurtful as a women may take a guy staying online.. A man takes it hurtful and disrispectful.. and a guy feeling that will lead to a whole whack of problems. | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 10/27/2006 2:45:06 PM | I posted here a while ago, but that was quite a few pages ago. It seems like the word player is used almost more than the word I.
I believe most people here are talking to more than one person at a time. If you are looking for someone to drop evreything they have been trying to build, because they had a coffee with you, what does that say.........needy.......jealousy?
If you go for coffee, then there seems to be no interest....move on.
I know for a fact that if the right two people meet, you both would know when it was time to stop the search. If only one gets the feeling, it is better not to force the other into submission. If you both felt the same, taking down your adds would not even be a question or an excuse.
This place is a real smelting pot. It can purify you or smelt you down to nothing more than gas.
So, If the person was in a relationship and still had her/his profile up......guess what? There is no ship of any kind floating....... | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 10/31/2006 10:57:52 PM | | Well i have a friend who found her boyfriend here, they're doing good & thinking about marriage but her problem is... her boyfriends profile is still here & ask him why so?... he said that he is just interested in forums that's why he did not delete his profile, that's the only answer she could get... it bothers her still & thinking about he might find another girl from here & ruin their relationship. Well for me if you're still here in this dating site & you're in a relationship well it will really bother you... thinking temptations is always there, you'll meet different kinds of people here... Even if he says that kind of explanation, expect that's the risk you will have one day & it could happen, you'll never know... So better if you're serious already & thinks he is the one then why should you be here still... Others do it because they're still flirting or still hoping that they'll be able to find better than you... So i guess that's the risk!!! better tell him to delete his profile because you are bothered by it & explain it to him... if still he did not delete for some reasons... i guess he is not concern about your feelings anymore that he is not worried if you're hurt coz if the person really loves you then he will not hesitate to delete his profile. So better think about it. The 2 of you talk!!! don't assume, it will solve the problem... | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 11/1/2006 3:33:26 AM | If his/her profile INDICATES...........I found someone on here and we're happy with each other, and not looking......and if the profile is strictly for being active in the forums and they are HONEST about it with whoever they are with........what is there to think about?
If there's nothing to hide and to be honest with him/her.......then showing them the status of your profile shouldn't be a problem. | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 11/1/2006 4:52:25 AM | I have this exact situation going on right now with the guy I am dating. It's making me a little crazy trying to figure it out. We met about 6 weeks ago (I know, I know, not a long time) but it has been as close to perfect as I've ever come. We get along great in all ways, and I mean all! We have not been apart since the day we met, either have seen each other or spoken on the phone for hours on end. I am positive that he is not seeing anyone else!
I was honest and up front about what I was seeking, what I expected, what I would or would not tolerate in a relationship. I was very strong and serious when I said "no games or u-turns allowed!" This guy is the "real deal" and has treated me with much respect. BTW I am mid 40's have been doing the internet dating thing for a few years. I know all the games and have played a few myself in the past I'm ashamed to say. I also know the addiction and the curiousity of it all. We shared our internet dating horror stories and both admited we were a little fed up with it all. He said he was on 3 different sites and said he was not going to renew on any of them. He actually hid his profile on the site we met on. I had been in hiding off and on when we met by chance on one of these sites. After a few weeks into it I for some stupid reason unhid my profile from the site we met on and he caught it! Since then he has been visible and quite active on all 3 sites once again. Even updating photos! I am not showing my profiles on any at this time. You can get into a lot of these sites with out having a visible profile, you can see when a person was last online. So yes I am using it as a means to jugde his sincerity. It got the best of me and I finally confronted him about this and another issue via an email. I got a very nice response where he addressed the other issue and made amends for it, but no mention at all about the dating sites. I wonder if he purposely avoided the subject? Probably so. He also stated that he wasn't gonna stick around if he was going to be accused unwarranted. He called and wanted to talk about everything and I told him it wasn't the right time because I wasn't sure how I felt about things, that I was upset and didn't want to say the wrong things........so I let him off the hook! I don't know why he's still fooling with these sites because everything shows he's very into me! Is he playing games? Is he still looking? Is he addicted? Keeping options open? I have no idea and it does bother me. In the past with men I've dated it always meant they were looking for something better and it wasn't long before they were moving onto greener pastures! I've done these same things myself, sometimes it was because I was looking for something better, sometimes it was to play games and see if I could spark a little jealousy, sometimes to let the guy know he wasn't the only game in town, other times it was just plain boredom. In my case I have decided the best thing for me is to just give it a little more time and see what he does. I do believe in trusting your gut, if something does feel right it usually isn't. I think the respect of time is a good way to go but mean while there is always someone else out there that wants what you've got if they don't! Sorry about the long post, hope it helps some..... | |
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rozyvd
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Joined: 10/5/2006
Msg: 643 | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 11/2/2006 5:49:55 AM | | there should be no problem with a guy still on a dating site!!!! but only if it states looking for friends....anything else and he needs to be booooottteddd......i have found a man on this site (well seeing how it goes) and we both still have our profiles on here..looking for friends!!! if you make it clear on your profile..i dnt see the problem!!! | |
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Alli38
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Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 649 | |
| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 11/3/2006 1:15:31 PM | | I came to POF in the beginning of October and was warmly greeted. I agreed to go out on a date and that turned into a couple more with one guy. He suggested we agree to date no one else. I agreed and hid my profile (and noted on it that I was interested in someone and was only looking for friends). I stopped checking the site and told another guy that I couldn’t continue to write. He however, claimed that he continued to visit to speak to his friends that he had made on the site. I accepted that. And then I realized that he was on everyday and his profile had not been changed. He was still fishing. I don’t think I would ever agree to that again. I am back at POF and I have updated my profile and once again I am really looking for a nice guy. I learned lots from this situation. It sucked and I wish this experience had been a little better but I am not going to give up just because of one player. | |
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