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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 1/20/2006 6:22:43 PM | | crunch Thanks, and really I do understand. I think at least most people who know me and those who know my SO, he's not on here as much as I am simply because of his work, know that we met or kinda just stumbled across or discovered each other here. As single people, so we have a certain affection not just for the site, like going back to the place where you first met, but a great deal of affection for the many wonderful people we've met. We realize it IS a dating site and still get the odd email from someone interested, even though our profiles are blantantly CLEAR that we're hooked up but I guess we look at it as more of a friends' site. I had a profile on another site, and actually hadn't been there in so long I forgot about it but took that down many months ago, too. If I decided for whatever reason to delete my profile, I simply would. If he should decide to take his off, he would. I wouldn't ask him to take his off because I took mine down and he would not ask me either. He can do as he wishes, I do not seek to exert control over him. He's a mature intelligent man I trust him to make good decisions. | |
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ksue44
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Joined: 6/20/2005
Msg: 57 | |
| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 1/20/2006 8:42:40 PM | If you're physicially intimate, by all means you'd better sit down with him and have that talk.. You don't say how long ago you met, and chances are pretty good that you and he are not on the same level in your relationship. That's why the two of you talking about the relationship, where each of you are coming from, what do you want out of the relationship, etc. is important.
OLD provides temptation to always "shop around" until something better comes along. It's so important that a couple communicate so well and hold off on the physical intimacy, because I guarantee, men and women are rarely at the same level in a relationship at the beginning. | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 1/20/2006 8:44:10 PM | I was in the same kind of situation. i went with this guy from here barrysnic. well i didnt meet him here but we went out for 7 months and all my friends told me that he was still on 20 different single sites. i asked him after atleast 3 months of us going out why he is still on them he said he loved me so, so much and that he had no other girlfriend and that he dont even talk to other women and that he couldnt even remember the name of the single sites to go back and take them off. well we went out for 7 months and i found out that he had been living with a woman for 7 yrs. then we broke up when i found out. and her n him still live together n he is still on all his single sites and bull shitting women and i joined this site less than a week ago and was browsing photos and here he is with the pic i took of him while we were going down the gualalupe river together in a boat. barrysnic is his name don't believe anything he says, he is not single and he is a womanizer. he can look you straight in the eyes n lie like a dog.. | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 1/21/2006 3:59:51 PM | That is a definite problem with online dating sites...people don't know when to be happy with whom they have.....and there is a whole lot of dishonesty on here .....What people say and mean usually are 2 different things....
Alot of guys purposly change the idea of what a relationship is anyways........no wonder nice women like myself don't trust......If your in a serious relationship get off the net, wether your a woman or a man........
When you stay online and try to be chatty and email ..it discourages others who are looking for something real.............
Its as bad as being a unfaithful partner to whom has entrusted you with thier heart and soul....
No one likes to be hurt or have to check up on a loved one that they commited tooo.  | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 1/21/2006 4:01:05 PM | | I too went through the same thing...cept he told me it was a friend of his using it. that his friend had actually set him up on it. so after watching a couple of weeks of activity and seeing how much emails and messages were going on, the site kept track on your profile what you do in a way of points, and got to thinking. I set up a profile as a different person. a friend of mine sent me pics that i used and made it so i lived very near to him. next thing ya know i got an email saying he would love to chat with me but not on the site and gave me his msn. i opened a new msn account and added him. a few days later, low and behold he messaged me. we talked for a bit and i said i had to run off to work and asked for his numbers. he gave me his home and cell numbers! during the conversation i asked why he didn't have a gf...he said he was dating a few girls but none of them were making him happy. at the end of the conversation i told him i would call and he said he was very much looking forward to it. BUSTED!! so instead of calling i emailed him and copied and pasted our conversation so he knew i wasn't bluffing. and we were in an exclusive relationship. it was discussed and everything. the only way it will ever be exclusive is if all profiles come down if you are serious about them. if they have friends they have met on a dating site there is such a thing as email and msn where it isn't so secretive. | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 1/21/2006 4:19:36 PM | The funny thing is there is nothing to stop someone from making a profile thier signifigate knows nothing about.........I cannot even count on here how many emails I have gotten from guy's who proffess to be single.....however.... are totally married or living together........and I find it out once I have met them for a coffee...........  The sad thing is these people have no morals or selfrespect...nor do they respect thier other half....Nor do they feel guilt..................What a f _ked up society we have....................*sigh"s* | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 1/21/2006 4:51:57 PM | Keeping step
I to have been in the same situation as you were. I met a man from another dating site and we started to see each other. We spoke on the phone everyday, opened up to each other and of course became intimate. I hadn't been on POF in awhile and decided to change my profile to say that I had found someone and wanted to give it a chance. Surprise surprise when I logged on and there he was and his profile stated "Looking for relationship". I didn't even know he had a profile on POF when I met him.
At first I didn't say anything to him but I still changed my profile. I kept an eye on his and noticed that sometimes when we would be talking on the phone he would say he is busy, or if we were chatting on MSN he would tell me he had something to do and would be right back. Each time I would log into POF and he would be on line. He has never posted on the forums either so it isn't that. Finally I couldn't take the lies anymore and asked him staight out about it. He said he had friends he chatted with on POF.....give me a break. His actions spoke louder then words to me. So sure enough the phone calls and the chats have ended and there is no contact from him at all.
I will be the first to say that I got played, no one has to tell me that.
So no I don't think that men and women in a relationship should have active profiles on POF unless they are honest in the profile and let everyone know they are not looking for a relationship. If you are here for the forums then say so. If you are here for just chatting then say so. To those who don't agree oh well ....to those who think they won't get caught, think again. | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 1/21/2006 5:33:28 PM | Well I say I am here for the forums..only however I am very single and if the "right" guy came along I would definitely consider the option of getting to know them.............I do agree with your words though @ottawaghost
I always thought a relationship meant that 2 people are there for each other and care,love, compassion, cherish respect and grow together in life,, gee maybe they should teach some courses on what a healthy stable "NORMAL" relationship is and how to date properly...LOL
I'd love to go out on dates.meet people for a coffee.....but when you wonder if they are telling the truth it stops me right in my tracks...........  | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 1/21/2006 6:19:42 PM | | and what do you do if you talk about it and still nothing happens? talk about commitment and it is there...he says its exclusive..you think it is....until you catch him in the act. it's all jsut a stupid game. i read on one guys profile he says 'don't make someone a priority if you are only an option.' and i have learned that if the guy can't take his profile down willingly and let you browse his email once in a while the you are only an option. | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 1/21/2006 8:24:13 PM | | I kinda went through something similar. I am currently dating someone from this site. I had changed my profile to make it clear that I was with someone so that any messages I got wouldn't be love interests. His on the other hand still said single looking for long term. I let it eat me up for a while wondering why he would still have that on his profile thinking maybe I was just his "good enough for right now" girl, but I spoke to him about it and he willingly changed his profile to show he was dating someone. He does have friends on here like I, and also posts to forums as well. So I would talk to him and see what he has to say... see if he would even change his status on the site, if he leaves it as single.. something funny about that, but give him a chance to explain or try to resolve the issue, could eb dealt with so simply... I let it eat at me way too long before saying anything to my boyfriend. | |
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