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tears5
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Joined: 1/20/2006
Msg: 727 | |
| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 11/23/2006 9:27:38 AM | I know how you feel...I met a guy on pof and we hit it off great...we were together every day and talked for hours on the phone when we were away from each other. He moved in and lived with me and my kids for 4 1/2 months. I would pull up his profile while he was at work or on business trips so I could look at his picture, and it would tell me he had voted on someone new. When I confronted him, he denied it and soon quit using pof (still kept his profile on though)...eventually he met a rich chick on another dating site. I just happened to notice a strange text on his phone when we were at the movies one night and then he was acting strange...so I checked his phone...sure enough he had been living with me and still playing the dating game looking for a rich chick. It hurt really bad...of course he claimed it had nothing to do with her having money. We had had such an awesome relationship, great communication, never fought or argued, made love every night and held each other the rest of the night every night -- never saw it coming. I still don't understand how a person could play someone like that.
Now I've met a really sweet guy on here and things are going good...and someone new just added him to their favorites list...and he's on this site at weird times...so I guess I'm still lacking in trust because now I'm not sure what to think...UPDATE: I was wishing my friends on here Happy Thanksgiving and saw he was online...instant msgd. him and he refused it...so I sent him a letter asking about that and left a msg. on his cell phone...he called me (wasn't very happy)...he had been in the woods hunting -- wasn't even home! Turns out when his mom gets on the computer it automatically opens his account and shows him online! Don't I feel stupid!!! He's pretty understanding and I told him about the letter on the phone...hopefully I'll still have a chance with him. | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 11/23/2006 7:13:40 PM | | Well I have to say, I'm going on the second person that i've met on here, thought it was going great. I mean see eachother almost everyday for two weeks, take my profile off...cuz i'm thinking this is good....well...make up a profile, and bamb he takes the bait and is giving this "fake" person "not me!!" his cell phone #...now person # 2...i'm really really falling for is still on here and showing active just about everyday. I'm just not sure what to think anymore, it's really frustrating when you're here to find true love, and make your point in your profile, and men just mess with your heart. Shitty! | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 11/23/2006 7:53:48 PM | | I have been off this site for about 5 months, i met a man that i thought i was going to spend the rest of my life with and i would never have cheated on him. I met him on a dating site. We just recently moved in together he told me every day how much he loved me. I find out that he is on so many porn sites that now i can't trust him at all. I dont know what to believe anymore except to go by my feeling's and look for some one else. and that is what i'm doing now. on one of his sites that he just joined less than 2 weeks ago when i was in tx visiting my kids, he has a pic of his ex sucking him on the site and said she was so great and a whole lot more and inviting wemen to come visit him. He get's mad because i check up on him but now i am still living with him and he don't care at all about how i feel about this he would only say it is just fun. but i think their are 2 things that breaks up a relationship and that is money and porno. I have a hard time sleeping with him now cause i feel like i am not makn=ing him happy and he looks else where. so i am also now but i am not going to tell him, unless he finds out and asks me. 2 wrongs don't make a right but what is good for the goose is good for the gander, that is what i have alway's believed. I have always been attracted to virgo's and they have all turned out to be cheaters and liers and dont know how to be faithful. next boyfriend will not be a virgo that is for sure. now i wont say anything to him about his cheating from now on, cause he knows how i feel and we have discused this many times and he is still lieing to me so i will now do as him. | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 11/23/2006 7:59:01 PM | my friend and i were seeing each other and he put his profile on the site with his phone number attached. he had been on the site for a couple of years even before he met me so what i done was make up a fake name and profile and im'd him he responded and after a few day of talking on the site we made arrangements to meet somewhere he about died but i knew what he was doing so test him  although he tried to say he knew it was me all along but he didn't know crap make sure you get to the resturant earlier than him and just sit back and see what happens when he see's you talk about deer in the headlights look i could feel my bf heart beating through his shirt needless to say that's over | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 11/24/2006 6:49:27 AM | | Wow Are we Twins? Cause I was in the exact position as you are in. I recently joined again cause I deleted my profile when we started dating and a year and a half later I find out he never deleted his and he was still checking his mail etc...every week! He was not only on POF but a few other dating sites. Men are always looking around the corner to see if something better is coming along. I think you should say something to him, why waste your time and efforts if he isnt in it for the big haul?!!! | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 11/25/2006 7:01:03 AM | Let's say you're living with a partner and you find out he/she has an account in an Adult Personals website, a profile with actual pictures and exact location (real city and state), "looking for sexual relations, online flirting and others", what would you do about something like this?
Most people do this for curiosity, but on a website like this you might want to be very discreet, right? But your partner has a fully fledged profile, like he/she wants to get it on seriously. What about if someone who knew him/her got in, browsed for people in his/her area and comes across the profile and warns you about it? And you're either involved or married!
Brings another possibility... Partner is aware and shares it. Maybe get online together and look for a third person to have a threesome, see live sex online to get turned on, or even give a live sex show on cam. Some people are open minded enough to do these things and don't take them too seriously, which is acceptable. This is an exceptional case.
Or maybe does it on purpose to see if you're monitoring his/her every move online, and whenever you bring it up in anger, tell you straight to stop spying and have a discussion about privacy and trust.
Sexuality is something very personal, but unfortunately, you have to come across these type of vices online. For some people is fun and amusing, for others it could jeopardize a relationship and destroy trust. To me, if I knew my partner was into something like this behind my back, it would be the end of the relationship because trust and respect is essential to me. If she came along with the idea of joining a website like this together, I could consider it after a serious conversation, don't see why the hell not get in with her and explore. This is something interesting. I don't need to check on my partner when she gets online if I trust her. Besides, isn't there something called "concience"? Opinions? | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 11/26/2006 5:28:26 AM | | If a guy, or woman is still on this, or any other site, then their credibility and integrity is in question. No man/woman, who is in an exclusive relationship or even "seeking" one, needs to be on this, or any other site for that matter. I would confront them. Seriosuly and see how thay respond. If they get defensive, or hesitant, then something is wrong. A common line used, well I have friends on the site. My response, you have email and IM these days. If they are real friends, then they can contact one there, not on the site. This is one of the most common BS lines used by both men and women. | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 11/26/2006 6:04:12 PM |
If a guy, or woman is still on this, or any other site, then their credibility and integrity is in question. No man/woman, who is in an exclusive relationship or even "seeking" one, needs to be on this, or any other site for that matter. I would confront them. Seriosuly and see how thay respond. If they get defensive, or hesitant, then something is wrong. A common line used, well I have friends on the site. My response, you have email and IM these days. If they are real friends, then they can contact one there, not on the site. This is one of the most common BS lines used by both men and women.
Once again this is not true and you are generalizing everyone as being the same, not all guys are players or looking for something better. Mt gf knows I am on here still and I am here on the forums only. If she would like to see my account then fine, nothing to hide, I dont msg people and I dont flirt with other people. If anyone were to view my profile they would see that I am not single and I am not looking, I dont hide that fact
Of course if she was bothered by me being on here I would have no problem deleting my profile.
but you cant assume anything, you cant judge my credibility or integrity until there is a reason to do that. Jumping to conclusions sometimes only reflects poorly on the person passing judgement. I am honest and very happy with the woman I found, I still like to talk on the forums and read the posts from time to time, that has nothing to do with my credibility at all. But the people who know me personally are well aware of this and thats all that matters | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 11/26/2006 7:05:14 PM | Yes, call him on it. If he is happy, he doesn't need it any longer. And don't buy the "I am just chatting with friends" line. That is what MSN and the phone are for.
Just be careful he doesn't delete the profile and create a new one under a new name. I think some people get truly addicted to this stuff and can't stop thinking that they will find someone better ... its sickening actually. | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 11/27/2006 3:27:13 PM | | OK here's me on a soapbox albeit a small one. I make no judgement about what another chooses to do with their private life. It isn't my karma bill and therefore none of my damn business. I did however very clearly state in my profile I did not wish to be contacted by married men. I can even overlook the contact for the most part but here's the thing that is up a certain orifice sideways...Men who think that telling Me they are married is somehow honest!! Come on are you kidding me?? If your WIFE does not know you are in here you are not being HONEST! Now I feel the need to get you both a lighter and a dictionary. | |
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dannol
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Joined: 9/29/2006
Msg: 739 | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 11/27/2006 10:02:25 PM | To the original post, dont stop communication cos you may just be wrong, if you are goin on the site to see if he is there may he just possibly have the same suspicions about you?
I mean if he wanted to hide things he could of just made a new profile, ive been there ive had the same worries in the past with woman ive meet online so i created a new profile and sent theres wink/kiss/smile whatever, she had veiwed my profile but had not of sent a wink, you can see who views your profile on most sites, thats why she viewed it cos it viewd hers as i suspected i would of been upset if it was for any reason more than that.
Do this and if he actually winks then you have reason for concearn. | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 11/28/2006 1:23:59 AM | I have had that happen a lot, and I was always the one getting rid of my account, and this was on several dating sites. They just did not want to cancel their account. I remember one guy last year kept telling me he was paid up to 6 months, and I said to him so you think I am not worth more than $39.95? Sheesh.
So now I keep my account, and until it is mutual decided for each of us to cancel our accounts, then we will do that. They still are active on their account yet wanting a serious relationship with me, and just can't give up their account. LOL. So I didn't bother give up mine.
I just seem to run into so many obsessed with keeping their accounts and too much of the norm it seems, and that is the major downfall with meeting people online. | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 11/29/2006 4:25:42 AM | Hey I am in a relationship now, I am not taking off my profile, because this is the most interactive site where you have get togethers and have fun with other peoples. My girlfriend knows that I am doing all the other activities, that is why my profile says "NOt Single not looking".
Jealousy is often a misused emotion. If you cant trust your mate, then you should not be with them. If you dont start trusting you may be come controlling and then you mate may not want to stick around either.
Thats my two sence | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 11/29/2006 8:55:08 AM | Hey I am in a relationship now, I am not taking off my profile, because this is the most interactive site where you have get togethers and have fun with other peoples. My girlfriend knows that I am doing all the other activities, that is why my profile says "NOt Single not looking".
Jealousy is often a misused emotion. If you cant trust your mate, then you should not be with them. If you dont start trusting you may be come controlling and then you mate may not want to stick around either.
Sorry but I have to agree with Kerilotion. My mate did have a profile on here but he deleted his, we keep mine so we can keep abreast of the get-togethers.
I'm in a relationship as well and I still enjoyed meeting him (Kerilotion) along with my mate at the get-together on the weekend. Absolutely nothing wrong with meeting new friends.
JMHO. | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 11/29/2006 10:26:17 AM | Ive had the exact same thing happen, except it was my husband!
We had seperated and then reconciled , but he kept a great many profiles on singles sites active, including this one.
All of them say hes single, avaliable, and active as you said, in the last 24 hrs.
He told me it was only because he had recieved emails fromthe sites.. Well I finally got smart and got rid of him completely.
Blocked him and deleted him on my instant messangers etc..
Hes a dog hun... kick him to the curb and move on. Liars and cheaters stay that way forever | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 11/29/2006 7:05:59 PM | Similar experience for me ... except I never thought to question him until I got the "I just can't give you the time you deserve" load of crap. Lo and behold, guess who's back online and active?
My advice ... words are nice, especially when you really want to believe them ... but if they don't match up to the behavior ... well, actions really DO speak louder than words. | |
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panpan
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Joined: 10/11/2006
Msg: 749 | |
| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 11/29/2006 9:04:22 PM | Charliedoo - LOL yep, been there and done that one! I was told it was 'all in my head'. Good thing I've since cleared up that major migraine. I'm gone for good now. Working through unfortunate muck with it all but hey, he's happy with his new P.O.F. gal and her "ready made family" so who am I to wish him anything but the very best of luck with that choice!?
For some, these type sites are a train wreck waiting to happen.......wear your seatbelt. | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 11/30/2006 5:45:11 PM | Ahhh yes.. "All in your head" my god how many times I heard that one LOL
well, I guess Im crazy then LMAO
Im a lot less stressed out now than I was, the thing that bothers me is this... If he can do this to me, and his first wife.. then anyone else he dates will end up in the exact same spot. Sad that dating isnt like applying for a job, you'd have to give your last 5 partners as references LOL I bet there would be a high number of single individuals (unemployed as it were) | |
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