|
|
|
|
|
| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 12/10/2006 11:22:09 AM | 32 pages ago in the OP the comment was about seeing a man who was still active on a dating site. Well if the site was yahoo it shows active when you go online to use their instant message - I have checked this out as I did not check my personals for a week when I was sick, but did go online to chat with friends. My profile showed that I was active each day, just because I was online - so that means nothing.
I think that the issue should be if an agreement to not see anyone else exists and you know or find out, the other person is still dating or meeting new people. Huge red flag, automatic deal breaker - say bye and move on.
Really very simple - why has this lasted for 32 pages and since Nov 2004? Wow paranoid or what? | |
|
| |
| |
| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 12/18/2006 2:22:16 PM | | OMG, I know exactly where your coming from...and yes it does hurt. I've met a man on this site and we've been seeing each other for 7 months, whenever. It is somewhat of a long distance relationship, if thats what we call it, as he lives about 1 hour away. He tells me hes never known anyone like me before, I am so good for him, I am the one for him, blah blah, YET, I caught him on this site twice. I also deleted my file, but got this feeling I should check and presto, there he was. He always goes on when he thinks I'm sleeping. I have confronted him and he also tells me that hes only chatting and its something to do as hes bored. I said if you were only chatting why does your profile read looking for long term still. He said he thought he changed it, but yet he still has hidden his profile, humm.... When I first caught him on the site he first blocked me, then changed his profile name, but I found it again lol...In the 7 months we've known each we've only had 2 complete nights together, the rest of the time he comes up during the day for a couple of hours, but then has to run home to cook for his 18 year old, or drive him there or here or some excuse. Now, hes out of work, and says he cant come up due to funds and the expense of gas, yet he goes out shopping, buys expensive groceries and I dont see him much, yet now, hes talking about eventually moving in together. when I am talking to him on the phone, he'll get another call and right in the middle of the conversation, he'll say gotta go and hangs up, humm....We have so much in common, thats what hurts me the most. My intuition tells me to move on, but then he does a nice thing like gets me a cell phone so we can communicate inexpensively (if theres such a word). I really do love him, but if hes sneaking around now, whats in the future. I have been in that situation where I caught my ex with another woman. I ask my friends what to do, but they dont want to hurt me either, so I am turning to you guys for the real answer. I need an answer from someone outside. | |
|
| |
| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 12/19/2006 4:16:37 PM | | I had this happen with my last 2 ex bf's. The second last one not only signed himself up for Lifemates and went out on coffee meetings (he said) he was signed up on Mail Order bride sites as well having these girls call him at his house. Couldn't spend the money on me to go to a movie, but could spend 90.00 per month on long distance to the Middle East and Russia. Said as long as he was doing anything in person, it wasn't cheating. He just had a problem...ya right. Last bf, met on here and I took my profile off and asked him to do the same. He had told me I was the only one he had talked to him on here anyways so no problem, he would do that. Well he stayed at my home one night, next day went on my computer and was not deleting his profile, but checking out 4 different girls profiles while talking to me on the phone at the same time. I come home and check my history and guess what? I confronted him, called him right away and he told me, I was overreacting...go figure. So yes, I do believe anyone who keeps themselves available while dating you, obviously is keeping his options open for something better and I have no time for that stuff in my life. If I am not good enough, then go away and find something better you are looking for, but don't keep me on the string. Whatever happened to morals and values....are they gone? I don't seem to be finding anyone with them. | |
|
| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 12/19/2006 5:08:10 PM | I have a bf but I just changed my status to not single and not looking, and I tell everyone I talk with that I have a bf right away.
I just use this site to meet new people now, because I found it good for that.
It all has to do with trust. I think trust is letting your significant one do WHATEVER THEY WANT. That may sound strange but think about it: If you truly trust them, what they want would never be soemthing you woudln't want. | |
|
| |
| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 12/21/2006 11:23:49 AM | | Move on with someone else is what you do. I'm telling you this because i had to come to grips with the fact that i cant change my boyfriend at all. all you can do is believe him, or not. I got over all the jealousy crap, by thinking if they had him they wouldnt keep him for a week. Then they would move on. Their is someone for every one, believe it or not. I just deal with the fact that i dont believe him, but oh well i really dont care anymore if he is or not cheating on me cause what goes around comes around and you will find someone eventually that you wont have any doubts about at all. You just have to have patience like me. I know it is hard because i live it all day, but if he is cheating than so what? do you actually think he will tell you the truth? Or that you can change him? NO,NO,NO,You cant so get over it all and remember who you are inside and someone you meet one day will love you for who you are and you wont feel like you have to check on him, ever cause it is a feeling you will know when it happens for sure. I dont check on my boyfriend anymore, frankly because i really dont care anymore if he is or not. Like i said she wouldnt keep him if she knew what i knew for a week... Goodluck! | |
|
| |
| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 12/21/2006 11:56:55 AM | | Yes the same thing happened to me my boyfriend said he didnt know he was on this site that i met him on, that someone else must have done it althought when i kept asking months down the line about it he says he never found out who put his profile up and to this day 6 months in to the relationship he avoids my question. Do they think you are stubid or what how can you meet someone on a dating site and for him to know the pass word to get on it to begin with, if he didnt know? | |
|
| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 12/21/2006 12:08:10 PM | | I got to say something here in defence to men, i know that even thought you are checking on your man, or woman on a dating site and it says ON LINE NOW that is not always true my boyfriend has been in the room with me and i went browsing just to see and it showed up him on line and i know for a fact he wasent so some sites thats how they draw you in they send you messages also from other fake people just to draw you into their site. like really my boyfriend got a message from this girl like 18 beautiful as hell, and he is 51, chubby, bald and nothing in common whats so ever yet in the message this site give him was she wanted him, yea right. That is so funny it is pathetic once you see a pic of him he put up, no way at all would it be real for her to contact him. | |
|
| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 12/21/2006 12:36:40 PM | | HMM. Well, I was married, found my huband on many dating sites, and sine we were technically "separated", he said he quit going on all of them. It's funny now, I have a legitimate site on this site, that he can access anytime he wants, What's even sorrier is that his old profile is still up currenty on the site & many others to this day. That was a year and a half ago. HMM. Difference now, is that i'm on here for me, friends,forums ect., not for another man. I finally told him to have at it! If that's what he wants to do then fine, he'd do it anyways. He says he hasn't activated any sites, but who knows? Who cares. He could never hurt me any more now than he did back then. It's your intent that matters. Look at your motives, his may not be where yours are. Be careful & good luck to you. Happy Holidays! | |
|
| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 12/22/2006 4:49:46 AM | Um.....I had this happen to me aswell. I met someone on POF.
WE started dating and after a few dates. She was telling friends
and family that we were dating. So I took off my profiles from
the dating sites I was onand told her that I did. I would call and tex
her but she would take
over 6 hours - 3 days to get back to me. I thought that this was weird.
So I checked to see if her profile was still up and running. It was so I
sent her a e-mail on it. She answered it in 5 - 10 mins. She accused me
of still being on the site and cheating. But I'm the one that caught her.
She gave me the storey that she didn't know how to hide her profile.
YEA RIGHT it's so hard just push the hide my profile button. Why do
people do that? Owell I will find someone someday that will appreaciate
me. GOOD LUCK TO ALL  | |
|
| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 12/22/2006 7:32:24 AM | | I would say something for sure and ask why? Because if he is serious about you it should be gone, the internet is great for finding reltionships at times but some people get so sucked , thinking so many people are interested in them , that they cant pull away, always wanting to see if there is a better deal out there. If he doesnt want too get off the sight then he isnt serious about you! | |
|
| |
| |
| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 12/24/2006 7:10:57 AM | Yes it happens they tell you what you want to hear.I too hid my file.Never thought that I could fall so quick ( thought I was a smart girl )his was never hidden,and we Instant messaged alot Some times it would take a few to respond and I think he was on with someone else (can't prove it ) so the wall comes up you get defensive and maybe sombotage the whole thing. Married... maybe,others maybe. I jumped to a conclusion felt stupid,said stuff etc.
They aren't lying until you catch them lying. Trust until the trust is broken talk, ask question,don't accuse and Don't let things get in the way!some don't think to hide the files. It could have been the best thing that could have happened to ME and I blew it with the little green eyed monster. | |
|
| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 12/24/2006 7:18:38 AM | | There are two sides to this that both men and women must be upfront about. If a man or woman is just looking for a casual relationship, they need to let the other person know. I agree, I person don't want to be someone's second choice or just around until someone better comes along. It is a waste of my time, effort, and emotions. On the other hand, if you and all your partners agree that the relationship is open and everyone can live with that, it is fine too. So, if you are don't want an open relationship or to be considered a branch for him to hold on to, let him know. If you are okay with the situation, find out your answers and go from there. | |
|
| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 12/24/2006 8:41:30 AM | . [If a man or woman is just looking for a casual relationship, they need to let the other person know.]
Yes this is true I recently met with someone that said freinds but the about me prt said friends first and let it all happen naturally. Me that said could be long term if we clicked.
He has a relationship online with a girl he thinks is the one, he wants someone to have coffee,movie,comedy shows etc friends.
Me I am looking for a little more and had to tell him, and I am very attracted to him so I said keep intouch if you need a friend to talk to. should he have put activity partner? | |
|
BlazeV
|
Joined: 12/23/2006
Msg: 796 | |
| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 12/27/2006 8:46:06 AM | NOw i can finally put my 2 cents in!
this is a hard one to tread on...some people can maintain friendships on dating sites and be honest, others can't. I'd say watch for the warning signs...Things like he/she(cause it happens in both cases) gets upset or accuses you of watching them when they're on dating sites, checking emails or talking online to some of the people they met while on the sites. I was always told by my ex that it was 'convo I couldn't handle' that I'd freak out and become jealous of - well the content in those convos were something I don't think anyone woman could handle who was in a long term committed relationship, not just me.
I signed up on dating sites, but AFTER we broke up. He was already a gold member on one even before we did - then tried to cover it up by saying he was 'marketing' himself for his music. Now some of have said that may have been his reason - and I saw it played out in real life. I never had a problem, cause I was usually there, and he knew the limits of that marketing, where and when to stop it and re direct it(which was cool). However, when it came to online dating sites, complete opposite.
It really does depend on how well your relationship is, but I'd say if he wants to be solely with you, and has made that commitment for a long term relationship, he should opt to leave those the sites. He may not necessarily leave the people he knows from them(through msn, yahoo, etc) but he should at least leave the sites. I plan on doing the same once I'm with someone - even letting the guys I've met online know that I'm taken.
As for the online status, hard to tell. Sometimes these things do lie, and you have to be open and willing to talk to the guy - ask him without offending him or accusing. It's once he gets defensive, or starts lying(if you know the truth, ie snooping) then you know he's not for you. | |
|
| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 12/27/2006 1:50:52 PM | Call him on it.
If he was online within 24 hours-he is either player, or something is missing that he is still searching for. The main thing is it's better to find out now than marry him and find out down the line. No matter how much it sux.
I'm curious what made you go back on the site again-you must have had doubts?
Keep your chin up-maybe you'll find the right one in 2007! | |
|
| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 12/27/2006 5:58:02 PM | | Well I've had the same thing happen to me and he used the excuse that he would talk to some guy friends about cars? I had to fix something on his computer and found all these sites that he'd been on (all kinds of dating sites) and the women he'd talk too and doesn't sound like there looking to chat about CARS. We were living together, a COUPLE, and figured that it wasn't right to do that. He's a player, and I left him because I deserve better then that. My advice....DONT bother with him......You'll eventually meet someone that wants you and only you. I believe that when your with someone, you should be faithfull, and IF you feel like you have to be with someone else besides your partner, then there is NO relationship and should break up. I'm totally against affairs, and if your going on singles sites when your with someone, it's just like having an affair, unless your TRULY just doing the forums, or chatting with FRIENDS. | |
|
| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 12/27/2006 6:42:28 PM | I don't think I'd like it very much if a guy I was in a serious relationship with..was still on a dating site. To me thats leaving doors open that should be shut if the guy really likes you.I know if I were in a serious relationship,I wouldnt be on here.I would never want him questioning my sincereity and faithfulness in our relationship.
As for just "dating"...no committment...to still be on dating sites..would be ok. | |
|
| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 12/27/2006 7:34:48 PM | Ah, yes. The mystery isn't quite as easily solved as Poster #777 so eloquently pointed out for the accuracy of 'activity' on any given website. I'd a g/f who confronted me for my profile still up on a personals website that did not delete it as I requested. It was an 'adult' site that yielded OK results during my divorce, and I've learned my lessons for these sort of venues, but "Ms. Milktoast", whom I met via from a more G-Rated personals site 'blew me away' for her far more 'adult' appetite, yet she lacked the maturity to address her other issues w/ me for a LTR. Guess who finally cheated on whom ...and after she made such a stink over what's beyond any of us to control for capitalistic (a.k.a. public use) of our private on-line communications.
Anyone else ever 'Google up' the username that you employ here ...and read what's reported for all the world by PoF to read? If I were in a serious relationship, as I thought that I was w/ Ms. Milktoast after many months, I'd let the on-line personals ads go extinct ...as I did w/ her soon into it. How pathetic am I for being back on-line ...now looking for Ms. Ricecake to find me? Yes, ladies, I'm sure that you're "honest, fun-loving, and loyal". | |
|
|
| Page 32 of 43
|
3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43 |
|
Home
login 
