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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 12/29/2006 9:28:21 AM | well thats the thing i would never discuss my personal bizness in reference with a relationship.
im not in one but since you brought it up trust is used i think as a way to get rid of a person. trust is suppose to be earned? well my question to you would be are you angry or getting revenenge? im gonna be real i caught my ex atleast 10 times with her so called friend but as soon as we break up they move in together? so i figure you wanna be disrespectful to me ill give you a taste of your own medication. some women think it is ok to bring another man around. i agreed with her i said ok. no problem. i thought maybe they are friends? i found that only god knows what was really going on. i think respect and trust is mutual thing. you cant have one without the other. that when misdirected behavior come in. due to not getting enough attention. i think if you really love someone see love is real im not talking about people who say i love you. either when you say it you mean it or you dont. you gotta make the choice if you cant be respected leave him or her? you gotta ask yourself did i do anything wrong because the only way you can tell a person anything is if you did nothing. ill flat out say it maybe that its a test to bring you too stronger together? im mean i was faithful until i was disrespected by one of her men friends.see none of my homeboys girls do them that way. the man friend should never be around because that is how stuff get started. fights and leading to someone getting hurt? i think some couples are both at fault and need counseling. we gotta recall one thing when you hurt someone i was hurt atleast 12 times before i did anything about it. i tried going to church with her i tried talking to her she was so concerned about paying bills. made me catch the bus from orange county and guess what i am a disabled man. all the way to san fernando valley. i even have a witness. she should of just punch me. so its all good people these days would be suprised if you would just put the keyboard down and truly just think about the other person. get to know thim without a computer. are there any people that have good hearts out there?people would find happiness vs. feeling blue. what is wrong with accepting a person for how they are. its not my fault im disabled i didnt ask to be. | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 12/30/2006 4:16:00 AM | If the "relationship" as it is put in this thread is that of - "dating" or "a live in honey" - guess what - you got no say. Pretty much, it aint your business. This person is not your SPOUSE. Deal with it. If you can't deal with it, don't go snooping around and creating D.R.A.M.A. You may find out something you DONT want to know. A real "relationship" has COMMITMENT...yes... and that does not mean "shack up honey" it means SPOUSE. If the SPOUSE had a personal ad up - then by all means bring out a big can of D.R.A.M.A. - Although, I would bet dollars for donuts if the spouse is being treated the way one should treat a spouse there would be none of that - because of the 100% commitment to each other.
my 10 cents.
peace | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 1/1/2007 9:02:36 AM | Many of you on this thread have experienced the same situation, as I have too. If someone is TRULY interested in exploring the possibilities with YOU, then they would respect the new relationship and remove themselves from the dating site. Maybe not at first, but if you are seeing each other on a regular basis, then it’s time. And if he is still on the site after you have become intimate, then you need to backup and have a chat with him.
My gentleman of interest was a terrific person, we saw each often and had awesome chemistry on all levels. But I just wouldn’t buy into why he was still active on the site we met on. His lame ass excuse was that it was his way of keeping in touch with the “friends” he had met there. Not a problem if he has lady friends, but on a dating site? I told him if they were his friends, why didn’t they just stay in touch via personal email or the phone? Needless to say, I said good bye to him over a year ago and don’t stay in touch.
For myself, I am not a serial dater and if I did meet someone from a dating site, he, hopefully, would be as open as I am. Bottom line, we would discuss our options and whether we would both be ready to take ourselves off the dating site. | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 1/1/2007 9:20:46 AM | What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
MMmm relationship is the key word here. If he really wanted to make his relationship work, then he would make himself invisible on the site. This way others knew he was currently unavailable. If it did not work out, then he could be active again. But doing both... That’s double dipping. Sounds like he is keeping all options open and wasting the gal’s time that he is “In a Relationship” with.
Those that want there cake and eat it too.. Often end up with no desert at all! | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 1/1/2007 9:34:55 AM | Two solutions to this:
1) If you want to keep the relationship going: Bring it up and talk about it. Proper and open communication is always the key.
2) If you don't trust him already and lean towards breakup: Don't say anything to him and keep track of how many are on his favorites list for a while. If they go up and down, question him as he is probably trying to pick one up. Give him a chance to hang himself before dumping. I love playing super sleuth. Some people prefer this internet crap...(they have issues....) | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 1/1/2007 10:32:50 AM | Lets see what do i think about a man who is in a relationship and is still dating?
I think if your with a woman and you know its not working out tell them dont just keep it going because its confortable for you and if your looking around for someone then it's not working is it? becuse if the person your with is the one for you, you would never have to look for someone one other then them, and I have to say that as people we often look for others to make us whole when we should do that for ourselfs you cant find something that is missing inside you in someone else its not right to put all your hopes and dreams off on someone you know? so if you turn over one day and look at the woman next to you and you know she's not the one then get out fast its only sick if you stay with someone you dont love for money,house, lust, etc then you know you truely sold your soul and are still not happy,so If i see a man on here and I have believe me had married men trying to hit on me big time I tell them to get lost I know if I was married to a man the last thing in the world i would want is him online trying to replace me with someone. Id want him to tell me he was not into me and id then have the right to tell him to hit the road. | |
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FOR U
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Joined: 9/16/2006
Msg: 833 | |
| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 1/1/2007 10:52:54 AM | Ok! If a man and woman say they are a couple and one of them is still on a dating site
That says it all. I find men get really angry when caught deceiving their woman. In any
relationship suspeciousions will arise. If you can share your body...mind and soul with
each other......what.....you can't sit down and clear the air without a fuss. There are
too many liars and games players out there...men and women....so understanding can
and should be practiced. Those who have nothing to hide...hide nothing....true. SLEUTH
investagion is a good asset when you smell a rat.....most times one is there.
Example: Woman...Your having sex with my girlfriend
Man........she is lying
Woman....what a ****
Man.........yea...and you believed her and not me !
Man.......You are seeing another man
Woman.....How can you say that
Man.......I seen you in his car ...kissing
Woman.....You were following me.....we're through ! | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 1/1/2007 11:40:04 AM | i had a boyfriend from here and i know he still kept his account on here. That and many other things are why we aren't together anymore.
If he used the forums it would be one thing, but he didnt so he didn't have any excuse as we were going out for 3 months...not that long in some terms but a good enough time where i would think that it was not a fluff relationship.
i would talk to him about it, you are not unjustified. Maybe he has a reasonable reason for being on that site. if not get rid of him. | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 1/2/2007 4:54:47 PM | hmm... well .. if that guy was In a Relationship with me?... i'm not talking about the first meeting, a few dates.. i mean IN a relationship. And then i found out he was still on a SINGLES DATING SITE?.. what would i think of him? .. first i would have to ask .. "what do i think of myself that i would tolerate someone who is obviously unsatisfied, yet wants to keep me until he finds ms. right? .. ya can't change anyone but your own self .. no point in questioning questionable behaviour either. Far as I'm concerned the only kind of relationship for me is one man one woman .. not one man 20,000 potential friends .. and me when he isn't on line! lol .. wtf .. I figure too that if i'm in a relationship and i CHOOSE to stay despite that type of behaviour .. best i shut my mouth or let everyone know i'm a fool ..
I think very little of people in relationships playing on SINGLES Dating Sites .. very very little .. I think more of myself for sure .. in fact .. I think enough of myself that I'd kik his butt to the curb in a heartbeat!
Cheating is not necessarily reserved to sex .. it takes many forms. If you won't do it with your partner in the room then it is wrong and You know it! Cheating = taking time from your partner to give to others. Cheating = lying or hiding the truth. Cheating = Acting like youre Single when you aren't! ..
I also agree with what one of the guys said way back there .. that those who are in relationshps yet continue to mess around on a SINGLES dating site make it hard for the good guys to get a chance. And ..it just isn't very nice. FYI = I have contacted 2 wives so far, had 1 contact me > because their S/O's contacted me here!!! (claiming to be single!). I told their SPOUSES the Truth AND i directed them to their respective partners profiles on this site .. none of those 3 are here anymore. Thus freeing up that space on my screen for some nice SINGLE Man to fill .. sigh ..
Happy New Year!
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FOR U
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Joined: 9/16/2006
Msg: 836 | |
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pensky
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Joined: 12/19/2006
Msg: 837 | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 1/3/2007 5:51:40 PM | | I discovered POF and found an awesome guy here a year ago...I don't think he ever stopped "fishing" but our friendship really goes well on a day to day basis. I see him almost every day, we are close to living together as housemates. He still maintains POF and encourages me to do so as well - He likes to talk with other women and I think he has had dinner wit a few people. I am not really that interested...in fishing unless my aim is that I am going to meet with the person, at least eventually.. So this has gotten a little weird for me-we have talked about it-and he understands how I feel; but he is not going to give up fishing. I know he will never give up POF - and yes I feel he may find someone else. I feel jealous and feel he deals out half truths- it is a very screwy situation for me. It is sooo weird to be told I am the coolest woman, the one he met thru POF that he really liked and kept seeing, etc...but his "line" is still out there trolling. I think alot of my feelings come from not wanting to be taken advantage of-as I help him with his new house...when someone else may step into my shoes. (Relationships are such a trip! On the one hand I would never have met him if not for POF-and on the other, thanks to the computer, I know he is still actively looking for friends. (I know, I need to ask the old ?...am I better with or without this man?) In the meantime, I am on POF myself and I don't know where things will go from here. P.s. I am so glad someone raised the above question...Thank you for letting me talk about it. | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 1/3/2007 7:34:39 PM |
A guy in a relationship and is still active on dating sites are as follows
Dirt
Dog
Pig
Monster
Complete Idiot
Insane
Has no Sense of Morals
Disrespect for Women
etc, etc
And should be shot with a ball of his own shit
...Reeeeeally?
Seems to me many people are jumping to conclusions about an Indivual's
reason's for being here.
Some of us clearly state both, our status, and our reason for being here.
I know of women are are involved and are on this site as well, how would you
describe them, luvredwine?
Generalizing is truly a forum disease! | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 1/3/2007 7:39:35 PM | He's NOT in a committed relationship. Right?
OR, he isn't getting the friendship/interaction that he needs from his girlfriend. OR, he gets his ego stroked on here. But, if his profile states that he is not looking, and - he's just here for the forums and entertainment. Nothing wrong with that.
In real life, he meets tons of women, too. | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 1/3/2007 7:57:07 PM | Depends to a great extent on how you define active. It's surprising and sad that this beat to death topic and thread has survived 34 pages of same old, same old.  My sweetie is here, and we're both "active", actively posting in the forums and keeping in contact with all our friends. Doing a search, scanning profiles and trying to hit on people? Ummm...NO, we both get the "hitting on" emails and give a polite no thanks, happily involved, if warranted. Sometimes it's just block/delete I get more of the rude ones than he does. Because I'm a female, one of hundreds of thousands, seems to put a kink in their undies that I'm not available and looking. Profile, marital status for well over a year has been not single/not looking, clearly here for forums and friends.
We also have many couples friends who like us, met here and stay here. People DO actually meet here, and are involved/gotten married and some like us, planning our future together. It's up to us and them to decide when we want to take our profiles down and be totally and permanently "inactive". I'm tempted to do so quite often, almost daily, but won't do it because of the inconsideration and blatant rudeness of other members.
We'll stay and be active in the forums and stay in touch with our friends as long as care to, and will encourage our other single and couples friends to do the same.
We're no threat or concern to those actively looking, and wish all of them the absolute best. We won't be those who write and try to steal other member's boyfriends/girlfriends/significant others/wives/husbands. So carry on, and beat this dead horse even further, I do feel sorry for your concerns about having to worry about a supposed partner who keeps a profile here for other reasons. This site has well over a million members, and whoever is screwing up your present relationship, it's not us. | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 1/3/2007 8:06:27 PM | | Hi. I would calmly talk to him about it. Tell him how you feel about him still using the site while he is now in a relationship with you. IF he refuses to listen to how you feel them maybe he just isn't the guy for you. But talk to him He might just not know how it makes you feel with him still being on the site who knows maybe he just has some friends on the site | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 1/4/2007 11:39:39 AM | Bullpucks -- those who have friends they wish to stay in contact with can do it via direct email or chat OUTSIDE a dating site, otherwise, imo either gender is a player who is in a relationship and still on a dating site (goes for married/attached/living together/LTR whatever label used).
IF anyone is merely interested in forums and not looking for something their relationship isn't providing, spend that time on their primary relationship or HIDE your profile. | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 1/4/2007 9:02:28 PM |
And I do apoligise, I should have mentioned the visa versa thing.
Accepted. I had noted your status and seeking profile selections are the exact same as mine.
...dating sites are for people who are single and looking.
You better explain that one to the site owner and administrator.
He allows people who are married, involved and even single and not looking to be here.
He also allows choices like hang-out and intimate encounter.
Not everyone is looking for the same thing here, now are we?
those who have friends they wish to stay in contact with can do it via direct email or chat OUTSIDE a dating site,
Who died and made you God?
We are allowed to be here by the admin, so if our being here upsets
You so, YOU can leave.
These forums are indeed attached to a dating site. (open to everyone Regardless of their martial status.)
Many fail to realise the forums are a community of their own.
There are enough people here who are less than truthful about their status and/or what they’re seeking.
One would think the whiners would be grateful the honest ones are not wasting their time and playing with their emotions. 
At least their angry whiney rants show up both on their profile and their last 25 posts, so that potential partners can get a truer assessment of their personality than the “nice guy/girl” claims they make on their profiles.
…And they wonder why they’re still single?
Good Luck!
Some of you are going to need it! | |
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