| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 4/20/2007 1:49:21 PM |
Turns out when his mom gets on the computer it automatically opens his account and shows him online! Don't I feel stupid!!! He's pretty understanding and I told him about the letter on the phone...hopefully I'll still have a chance with him.
Ok thats a new one as when I turn on my computer it does not log me on here automatically. Yes it can be done but then his mom would have to go to site for it to log him in. Guess she is on POF looking..... | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 4/20/2007 1:58:35 PM | Although I'd like to agree with you, I can't this time.
My profile clearly states I'm just here for the forums. Yet, I get lots of emails from men who try to court me. If I was not single, I'm sure I'd still get those emails
While not agreeing with me is certainly your perogative Xodara, I am not sure I understand how you disagree, or why? Let me explain.
Over the course of the last 20 years, as homosexuality became more socially acceptible, I have had the situation where when I out to a bar with freinds, on occaision, I get "hit on" by a homosexual male. Now I don't have a sign on my back saying I am one way or another, and once I make it clear I don't "twist that way", they are very polite and respectful regarding my prefrence. It always boggles my mind when it happens, because those who know me will attest that I am the antithesis of a metrosexual or effeminate man both in character and appearnce. But should I stop going to bars because there is the potential for that to happen again? Of course not.
Every day I read in the papers about all the peope dying on our nations highways, and more importantly on the highways in my own neck of the woods. I myself had a horrible near fatal accident not to many years ago. Should I stop driving ? Of course not, I am just alot more concious of my surroundings now when I do drive.
I mean if you wish to live your life worrying more about the "what if's" and presuming everyone you come across is the same as the last one who made you miserable, that is surely your perogative. I would point out however, that the fact you take issue with men in this particular regards and not woman as well makes your point rather dubious and somewhat hypocritical to say the least. Last I checked, even alcoholics came in both sexes.
As for me, I perfer to treat others as I would be treated myself (That Golden Rule thing), and give them the benefit of the doubt, until they give me cause to believe otherwise. I give myself enough credit that I can recognize something bad when I see it, and chose to avoid it then. If I don't, well then it's nobody's fault but my own. Good Luck!
Have fun ;)! | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 4/21/2007 10:12:09 AM | Yes you should say something. I just started dating this guy and he told me of this prank they played on a female. This one guys was interested in this woman. So to see if she was real asked his friend to email her too. Well he was shocked to find out she was talking to the both of them as if she wasn’t. I told the guy first off he was being unfair to the woman, because men do it all the time. She is keeping her options open. Yes she is not telling him the truth, but neither is he. So you get what your give out.
If you want to know where his head is be honest and up front. You can’t expect him to be honest when you are not being honest and trusting by checking up on him.
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 4/21/2007 9:57:35 PM | | I would ask him if he will still using the dating site...see what he says...if he denies it from the get go, then you know he has something to hide and is more than capable of lying to you...Then, tell him the truth...you know he's been on there...and ask him to explain... It is a possibility that he is still on there just seeking friends or what not... I have read a few profiles on here that are people who are just seeking friends and/or like the forums. Lastly, DON'T FORGET THAT YOU ARE ALSO ON A DATING SITE RIGHT NOW... | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 4/21/2007 10:47:47 PM | lmao..okay we are posting on a very relevant issue- but I would like to think the OP has moved on long ago...
Well get this- I had- at one point- a...ummm..ahem..friend- that I had met off this site and we were on and off..lol.. but one day -a few days after we had been enjoying some particularly explicit chatting...I had checked out his profile for the first time in awhile and saw that he HAD changed his to say that he was taken...but the way he and I were chatting is not the way any guy who is actually committed to someone else should be - except her .
I instantly wrote him off as the kind of guy our mum's warn us about.... ( y a-ya..lol- the red flags were always there- we just ignore em sometimes...lol) He claimed his gf knew what " a constant flirt " he was... ...made me feel real sorry for the poor girl... ...made me feel lucky... | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 4/22/2007 8:50:13 PM | DON'T FORGET THAT YOU ARE ALSO ON A DATING SITE RIGHT NOW...
I want to agree with this. The fact that coming on this site - is like 'the pot calling the kettle black'. You are coming on to this site and continuing to be available to anyone.
Once, you have established the fact of him on these sites and he confessed to being there. Allow him to show you that he has discontiued them.
As you have already moved on and gave him the boot. You should have gave him
the same benefit you would want him to give you.
After all you were the one spying and checking up on him. You probably did all
this on his own computer. This should be covered in another thread and people should have some privacy from each other.
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 4/22/2007 9:08:08 PM | | It is pretty simple really. If he is still on the dating sites then he is looking for something else. The excuses can flood in but that simple fact remains. There is of course the time factor to consider...when does it become unacceptable? If you have been seeing someone a good while and they are still on the sites, then he's a player. | |
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ally26
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Joined: 3/22/2007
Msg: 910 | |
| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 4/22/2007 11:48:35 PM | | i have met someone on this site but we both changed our profiles to not single/not looking and instead of dating our profiles say looking for friends. as we both have friends on here already it seems daft to close it down. as long as people are honest with each other about thier inentions i do not see the problem. i am not looking for someone better as i am happy with whom i am with. i am sorry this guy seems to be incapable of being honest but there are plenty of honest men out there! | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 4/23/2007 3:35:41 AM | | i agree ^^^. some dating sites are entirely profile based and exist primarily for hookups and new meetings, but PoF has the whole forum element. in this environment an online dating site takes on a social element, a venue for the exchange of ideas, and for networking with new friends. if one or both members of a couple choose to remain active on a dating site for social reasons, it should be with the knowledge of their partner, and their profile should clearly define their unavailable status to discourage unwanted romantic advances. beyond that...it comes down to trust. if you don't have that, then whether or not either of you have profiles on a singles site, your relationship has some pretty troubling issues. | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 5/14/2007 7:42:34 AM | I think that deciding when to definitively leave this and other dating websites is part of the delicate dance of two people getting to know each other and eventually wanting to focus only on each other. It has its own pace.
As two people get closer, what becomes more and more important is being up front with each other about how exclusive they want to be. If they're becoming close, they should be able to talk about this and lots of other things.
~Boots~ | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 7/29/2007 12:39:53 PM | | I have lots of male friends from all over the world. Most are married. I ask how the kids are doing? They send pics of school plays etc. it's all very nice and above board. Believe it or not niceness can happen. Just being nice. Not wanting to get into pants. This site isn't just a dating site. There are the options for just friends, hang out etc. If u have doubts then u need to step back and evaluate things from ur end. If u were totally full on with this guy then him cheating wouldn't even enter your mind. Have a re-think. I speak from experience. Without trust there is nothing. | |
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1sue1
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Joined: 5/16/2007
Msg: 917 | |
| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 8/19/2007 3:18:24 AM | | i think the moment you have clearly become an item,and are in a relationship it should be a thing you both agree that no more sights,at all other wise its just another form of being unfaithfull right in that persons face,they could be up stairs painting your bathroom whilst your down stairs looking for another partner,whats the point in still looking if you claimed to have found,its unfair all round. | |
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1sue1
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Joined: 5/16/2007
Msg: 918 | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 8/30/2007 1:40:28 PM | I think that if a guy has emailed, phoned and then set up a first date the interest should be there to move forward. It is no credit to the woman makes her feel as if he still thinks there is something better out there, just around the corner.
In my opinion he and she should both leave the site if things don't work out you can always jump back in the pond but better to be optimistic and think you bought caught a great catch, then cast shadows of doubt over it.
Though a confident woman would feel He won't find better than me and just pay it no mind.  | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 8/30/2007 2:50:50 PM | | I was seeing someone and changed my profile on the site we met but forgot to updated another site, I did go on to chat to some people but I wasnt looking for someone else, however my gf wasnt happy. At the end of the day it is about trust and if you dont trust someone because they are on a dating site then there will only be problems ahead. | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 8/30/2007 3:00:26 PM | I recently went through this myself. I guess that yes, some guys are players, as are some women. It's the lack of solid communication and jealousy that can ruin a great relationship real quick.
I have friends on here since I first joined that I've never even met in person. As a matter of fact I've only had a handful of dates from this site. Most folks just want to chat once in awhile.
If people would just talk out what's on their minds there wouldn't be so much mistrust.
Peace | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 8/30/2007 9:53:30 PM | As soon as I started dating my guy, I immediately posted that I was seeing someone. But that I was still looking to make new friends in the area(which I had just moved to). I set my profile to e-mail me if I got any messages. I no longer checked in everyday. So I had no idea that "he" still was. Who looked like the fool?? Of course I didn't realize any of this until it was over. Don't advertise that you are looking for long term, date someone for 3 weeks and make them feel like a queen, then tell them you're sorry but you're just not ready for this, and then friggin continue to "look" or should I say "fish".?????????????? | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 8/31/2007 6:23:53 AM | I think a lot of the answer depends on how the 2 people have defined their relationship. I notice some people here believe in only dating one person and I just don't see dating as an exclusive relationship (nor a sexual one).
I like coming here, reading and posting in the forums, so I don't know that I would quit if I became involved in a relationship. OTOH, I would KNOW what my motives are and believe I can't really and truly ever be 100% sure of someone else's motives so I would be at least a little concerned if 'my guy' was still doing the dating site thing... especially if he had accounts at several sites. So... yeah... at the very least I'd be keeping an eye on things. | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 8/31/2007 6:58:05 AM | | I met a woman who was still living with her ex..while she was on POF...I did not say a word...She explained the situation to me, nice girl but I did not want to get dragged into some drama...I speak to woman who are in relationships and their profiles are active, however; they like the forums...Which is fine...I would suppose if I was in a relationship with someone, I would probably remove my profile...The forums are still fun | |
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