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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 9/1/2007 3:18:40 PM | A guy I was dating told me he loved me, wanted to move closer to where I am when I am done school, always missed me and stated to me that he never felt this way about anyone before. I caught him once going on POF messaging girls , I got mad he made a vow to make it up to me. Two weeks after that he was at it again planning to meet someone and stating that he was single for a whole year.
I was sad but more upset for allowing myself to fall for someone so deceiving. | |
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Posted: 9/1/2007 5:14:27 PM | You did say "in a relationship", you did not say "married".
That being the case, it is perfectly healthy and normal as long
as he communicates this to those that he is dating.
The healthiest relationships, according to sociologists, tend
to be those comitted couples who happen to be in the Swing
Lifestyle.
They communicate, they have no jealosy, and they have
greater communication between themselves because they
hide nothing.
According to Dr. Susan Block, these couples have more solid
relationships because they have, in their minds, the greatest
lives in the world. | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 9/1/2007 10:37:50 PM | | hell yeh your justified......if he was interested in you after meeting you then sorry love he wouldnt have an active profile......if i meet someone i want to have something with my profile would be gone...you did the right theng by deleting yours well done! he on the other hand my think the grass is always greener hun ... dont waste time on someone not willing to give you the same consideration ditch his ass and wait for mr genuine ...cause if this guy was genuine he wouldnt have a profile | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 9/2/2007 5:26:55 AM | HELLO,
I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE SAYING,,,I WAS IN A REALTIONSHIP ON AND OFF FOR 4 YRS,,THINGS WHERE GOOD UNTIL HE WAS SHOWN THIS SITE,,
WHEN I DISCOVERED THAT HE WAS ON IT,, I DID BRING IT UP,,HE SAID IT WAS TO HELP WITH HIS TYPING,, HA HA ,,, I THEN DISCOVERED HE WAS MEETING SOME OF THE FEMALES HE WAS CHATTING TO,, OF COURSE HE LIED WHEN I CONFRONTE HIM,,,,,HE EVENTUALLY LEFT THE SITE BUT I KNOW HES STILL DATING ONE OR TWO OF THEM...
I WAS NEVER JEALOUS JUST TICKED OFF,, JUST FOR HE LIED AND NOT MAN ENOUGH TO TELLME THE TRUTH  | |
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skoosh
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Joined: 9/1/2007
Msg: 933 | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 9/10/2007 8:34:51 AM | well im actually in a relationship and me personally dont mind my boyfriend goin on these sites just as long as his status says in relationship and the people he speaks 2 know hes taken. i guess im lucky as my boyfriend feels the same way as me, i suppose this is different as we fully trust eachother.. and trust is wot u need 4 a healthy strong relationship 
my advice to u is to confront him, and tell him how hurt u r by it all... if he really cares that much 4 u, he will do his best 2 put ur mind at rest or even delete his profile 4 the time bein...
good luck  | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 9/21/2007 6:02:06 AM | Some things are just too obvious  he's a player get that straight he's still looking while he's dating you & meantime you're taking him seriously ..tut tut..this type of stuff really makes me lose more faith in men especially 'internet men' cos ive come across a few here saying they have other profiles etc on this site or another ,one even said he was avoiding a woman here cos she wouldnt leave him alone so he kept his full profile & pic up but only signed onto the disguised one to avoid her & im like..& you think id give you a chance when you're sneaky & hiding etc..lol what a laugh. | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 9/21/2007 3:09:23 PM | Keepingstep,
Open the discussion;you owe it to yourself,but first I'd ask what his expectations with you are
If he tells you he just has friends here & you have doubtsget a woman friend he doesn't know to contact him on the site;& see how he responds;some people may feel this is wrong,I don't You have your heart to consider
Good Luck | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 9/21/2007 9:28:51 PM | This has just happened to me,I was seeing a man for 3 weeks and I took my profile off here,
I asked him if he was still looking and he said no, he was just answering mail!!WTF!
Turns out he met someone 2 weeks before me and was seeing her on the side,she got hold of my email and filled me in,he was telling both of us the other was a customer,he is a mechanic,when I confronted him he said he had no attraction to her but didnt wanna be mean! She rang me and he told he had said I was just someone he was spending time with!
He told her not to contact him again, took his profile off and wants another chance with me but wheres the trust!! I say he's a player,hoping something better comes along | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 9/23/2007 12:52:06 AM | It depends... Is he saying one thing to you and something else to another? Or is he genuinely into you, but afraid to push too hard? If you are a new relationship, yes it's cool when he/she tells you the their profile's deleted, but should you feel obligated to do the same?
This is my personal experience. It was the reverse situation:
I haven't deleted my profile. Does that mean I'm still searching? NO! Does that mean that I'm lying, cheating, scheming? NO!
One - I get bored. I'm not with the guy I like right now and we both work different hours. I have insomnia so I don't expect him to keep my hours.
Two - I'm curious what guys have to say. I like to see how many people actually read my profile and who just don't give a f&%@ and say all the wrong things.
Three - I sometimes meet the greatest people to chat with. It keeps me on my toes. I love the forums.
Four - I'm a flirt! I like to have fun. It's a great outlet. It's safe!
When I'm with a guy, he's the only one I want. But I also know I tend to get a little too infatuated too soon so having other things to do helps keep me sane. Otherwise I'd obsess about every little thing, why did he do this, why didn't he do that... He shouldn't take it personally. Besides, I never hide anything. If he wanted to know something, he could just ask. I would hope that by being myself was the reason he likes me.
The one other guy I met on PoF made this comment:
I think maybe a reason that some of the people on this site are single is that they can not stop shopping on, or off POF. The grass is always greener. I had a girl change her profile from dating to friends but kept her profile. Her last log in's were 03:00/ 04:00 in the morning, she was up late surfing for other idiots who also could not lseep and did not have Jobs. Anyway, it was just my ego that got hurt because she did not like me enough to stop seeing other people. I never asked myself if I liked her.
My response to that: You're an idiot! I would talk to you until you were ready to go to bed. You knew I was still online reading the forums. You knew I usually slept at 5am or 6am. For you to say that is just a cop out! Couldn't deal with the reality that perhaps you weren't ready to be in a relationship, and that's the only sorry excuse you could come up with. Pathetic!
It worked out for the best. He wasn't the one! Someone who lives 3000 miles away has more faith in me and is more secure. | |
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Posted: 9/23/2007 2:31:50 AM | What utter rubbish.
I have an Hons Degree in sociology and the reverse is what they would say as the communities are broken down because of men swanning off and having sex with other women whilst getting their cake and eating it. There are more single mothers because men are unfaithful and have issues with emotional repression. Women are these days making an independent stand as they don't want to and don't have to put up with male behaviours which hurt them and leave the broken homes!!!
Swingers are for couples who do not want to commit to each other, but often it is very one sided as one partner will agree for fear of losing their beloved and will go ahead with the swinging to keep them happy!!!
Most of the time if these couples are happy its because they want a varied sex life or come from the sexual industry as most normal couples I know do not want to share their body with someone else as it causes issues and breakdowns in the relationship | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 9/23/2007 3:15:14 AM |
Well, I met a guy from a dating site a while ago. We have been seeing each other a couple times a week ever since. This is getting serious.
I deleted my profile from that site. I don't want to appear to be available when I am not.
I got curious and went back to that site and did a search, and found his profile...listed as "active in the last 24 hours". I have checked back a couple of times over the last week, and each time his profile shows that he is 'active in the last 24 hours' on the site. I know that that site is good about keeping this information acurate.
Should I say something to him or just stop communications. I am hurt by this...I am unjustified?
Well, it depends ... have you and this guy agreed to see each-other exclusively? If not, perhaps that is something that you need to discuss with him. Many people who are dating just take it for granted that the person they are dating is seeing only them without really discussing it. Communication in these situations is paramount! | |
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Kvass
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Joined: 1/6/2007
Msg: 943 | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 10/1/2007 11:07:43 PM | it's not unjustified. you should be concerned. if truth be told, i'd say things aren't getting as serious as you thought they were. at least they aren't for him. if i were you i would either confront him or start using protection real quick... and get checked out big time... also... don't be at his beck and call...
that is the problem with internet dating. there are so many options it can be difficult to get to know one person on a deeper level if you keep all your options open and in various stages of relationship development. for me, i never date more then one person at a time... never... and that means i dont TALK to other men online... i don't EMAIL other men... i don't CHAT with other men...IM etc. it isn't innocent and it can prevent you from getting close to someone...
men who do this are sex trolls at worst, or serial monogomists at best.
lara | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 10/2/2007 2:55:32 AM | | I had this happen to me two times and both times it turned out they were players. Very painful experience. I was IM'ed by both on the new profile I had made and asked on date. One saw me for over a year and I found out he was seeing other women on the site at the same time. I was curious and did the same as you and checked it out after I had stopped. If it was about forums, reading about things, and some friendships I think this would be a topic very soon after intimacy, after all I said I had dropped my profile. I should have went with my gut but wanted so much for it to be true. What I really learned from this was to set boundaries right from the start, talk about what you want, believe, and value, and do not cross that boundary until you know the other person respects and will cherish you and you alone. Go with your gut girl! | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 10/2/2007 7:09:49 AM | You sure hes not an online dating scammer, ive had a few of them, but saw through them before any harm was done.
I dated someone last year, who was a b*****d just going with me till something better came along, well it backfired, as soon as i found out what his game was i did a disappearing act, god help any women whos with him know.
Some men of a certain age get a kick out of having a string of women following them. Do they think it makes them more desireable?
you have to remember guys if you want to do that, you have to be a good liar to get away with it.
P.S I dont have an empty mail box because im married, probably because i speak my mind, and as they say truth hurts lol | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 11/28/2007 8:07:44 AM | I like other men on this site wonder why women go thru cell phone or internet to check up on their guys. Honestly what does it mean if it shows a guy has been online via Yahoo, IM or any other site? Is it really wrong for a guy to be online? Why do women want to control the guys in their lives. Really that doesn't sound fair. So if the guy you are with goes online to look at your profile and someone adds you to their favorite list does that mean you are cheating? This can go both ways. You are online but maybe a friend of y0urs adds you. Now is that double standards? Favorite list just means that doesn't mean he's in a relationship or dating. Sounds like you snoop alittle too much. Going thru cell phones or even reading messages. How would that feel if it was done to you. Personally I think alot of women out there try to control their men and its ok for the women to go onto IM, POF, Yahoo etc but when the guy does it's not right. WHat would happen if you met this guy you are mentioning and then he gets a text from a friend that is female would that be ok? Or are women the only ones that can have friends from the oposite sex. I don't understand society anymore nor what women treat their men.
Sorry but messages like this one in forums get my dander up.
Josh | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 11/28/2007 9:12:07 AM | | KeepingStep, this is only my opinion. Having been there before once myself, cut bait now Girl and move on. He isn't worth the trouble. He is keeping you on a string/leash/whatever until something better (in his eyes) comes along. Life is too precious and short.......PLENTY OF FISH left in the sea Girl. I have met someone wonderful and hope all goes well with him but still being careful. Email me if you ever want to chat, blow off steam, tell me off, etc. Take Care. | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 11/28/2007 9:17:30 AM | | Dump him, hes not done playing. Its possible that he has "friends" on the site, but once you leave a site like that, you exchange real emails and then stop going back to the dating site. In my opinion, hes still looking and possibly meeting people as a "single" man. Ask him outright if you feel better about doing so, but hes probably going to lie about it. Of course I dont know this man, maybe he will tell you the truth, but Id be very careful about proceeding on with someone still active on a dating site if you are dating him exclusively. | |
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Posted: 11/28/2007 9:18:59 AM | BoldlyGo: I think if the girl is on here asking about a cheating boyfriend (in so many words) she is NOT into the swing lifestyle...lol  | |
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