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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 6/24/2008 8:16:19 PM | I had the same thing happen to me. I just met a guy on here 3 weeks ago. We hit it off. So I thought. After a week and a half he told me that he just wanted it to be me and him or as he put it, "just us." I thought that was soon, but I liked him and thought okay why not. I'm on here to take a chance.
Turns out, within 15 minutes of him "IMing" me and letting me know this, he was answering an add on here and wanted to get to know the girl. Little did he know he had answered and add that was one of my friend's that is on here too! LOL...Ooops! He was busted and I was very hurt.
I think communication is key. How serious is it getting. He is obviously on a different page if he is still looking to see if the grasser greener. I would ask him what is up and not mention you have noticed he's still shopping on this site and see where he is. Then if he is still on here shopping...DUMP HIS YOU KNOW WHAT.
Sad to say, people are shady and just do not understand honesty and respect anymore! | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 6/24/2008 9:36:50 PM | | i had this problem, EVERY boyfriend i have, and the one i have now... still used the site when he and i were together. My past 2 ex's that i met off here were still "single" on here when we were together. atleast the one i am with now, has "not single/not looking"... but even that doesnt matter sometimes. i have that on mine too, but still has guys messaging me looking for more!! | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 6/24/2008 9:49:44 PM | | I know what you are going through, as I went through this previously. I began seeing a guy exclusively, my profile came down the whole shebang...and then it came to my attention that he was still on the site. He hadn't been on for a while and then started frequenting the site. Instead of being accusatory as to his reasoning I simply asked him about it. He gave me the explanation of wanting to see what all friends he could find on here from school and so forth. Seems reasonable enough, right? Except his profile never changed to clarify he was not looking for a female to possibly move forward with. I explained to him how it made me feel (once again, without accusing him of anything). Needless to say it did not help. I personally do not agree with it unless you are only on here for the forums or something and it is evident to others on the site that you are not interested in dating and so forth. People think differently about these things, so I would talk to him about it (WITHOUT accusations flying or voices being raised) and see what he has to say. I wish you the best of luck.... | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 6/24/2008 10:38:53 PM | Well lets see.... How long have you been together? Soemtimes realtionships don't last very long. Sure you met your fish but it could last 3 months or 5 months. Maybe even a eyar. He may be staying for the forums they are fun or to see who is interested in him and keeping his options open. I was twitha girl who saw my profile and It old her I stay for the forums and could not be happier and even put I was in a realtionship and there for the forums. Anyway you should not be hurt unless he is cheating on you or has given you reason nott o trust him. If he had been dating you for over 3-6 months you should ask him to delete his profile if it bothers you. Or keep it as a memento and go up on the site as an example of a match and sucessful relationship. I think you are too quick to be hurt. I might be concerned but no t hurt beucase its not cheating. Unless he is planning on meeting another woman... or MAN!  Hey get that dancing plantain away from me!  I thinky ou are blowing things out of proportion and leaving out the details of your realtionship. Are you boyfriend and girlfriend? Are you ina dedicated realtionship? you are on an online dating sire too witha n active profile does that make you a hypocrite? Is it a pay site wher ehe already agreed to pay for it for 6 months in advance and is jsut getting his money's worth? going ont he forums, mking friends and tlaking to people. | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 3/5/2009 6:51:00 PM | | Hi all.... enjoyed reading the posted comments :) The authoring post (KeepingStep) said her guy was in her company almost all the time for 3 months... geez... when did he have time to 'cheat' on her... even by accessing a dating site... as she described things, I would see a big 'red flag' too!! As for many of the other posts on the subject, it seems so many desire a potential to hide/delete their profiles (sometimes b4 the first meet in person) b4 a true relationship has developed... People... relationships, trust, assurance of mutual feelings, and 'love' take time to develop. A few even to several dates do not a true relationship make... let me tell you... both sexes change their minds even after having said they have 'feelings' for another... in light of this, why woulod it not be prudent to leave ones profile up for a time until there is a definite commitment by both.. don't jump into a sexual relationship until both have made an agreement of exclusitivity... wow.. this isn't rocket science. I read some think the potential insecure or actively looking for something better, what I think is the offended one is the insecure one... don't you know your own worth????? The insecurity of so many women on pof makes me very cautious of them... the constant grilling, accusations, and expressed fears will wear a person down emotionally and does great damage to a relationship... so many here also attempt to test their potentials by having a friend write to them... sarcastically speaking... wow is that hard to see through... lol Yes, seems when one starts writing with another, all of a sudden one gets emails from several others... kk... some of that might be that you have logged on more in order to email with your 'honey', but obviously, just as likely it is some sort of test! Tell you what... someone takes the time to write me I will write back... if the emails start going in the direction of asking me out.. I will tell them I am interested in another at the time... talk about them dissappearing fast when one does that! People... if you think that exclusivity is warranted from the first emails on... yikes... you are scarry to me. With me it has nothing to do with looking for better... if I am willing to ask you out, I'm interested... you show 'interest' in return on that date and don't pull a bunch of 'crap' (tests) on me... and I remain interested after the meet in person... then I will ask out again, if you press me when I haven't asked again... I will tell you why not gently as possible. Oh yes... 'can't stand to be alone'... lol If you are dating a person that is always alone when not with you... you best pick a different one to date! lol Sorry to sound like I'm preaching here... but I just wanted to share this one man's view of this subject. Snoopy... | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 3/6/2009 12:11:22 AM | | ^^^^^You know what, Snoopy. I agree with you. Too many people jump to conclusion as soon as they start dating. Until you have talked the talk, it is not written in stone that you are exclusive. It takes time to determine if you are a couple. You both must spell it out. Why do you feel that you are no longer available if you are not officially spoken for? So, you should also not make that demands on him unless you both agree that you are off limits to anyone else. That's just the way it is. | |
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Noon75
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Joined: 2/12/2009
Msg: 1037 | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 3/6/2009 5:13:26 AM | | I started dating a guy about 6 weeks ago that I met online. He told me he was going to cancel his membership, therefore we started e-mailing and then talking on the phone. He didn't contact me for three days, didn't answer my messages; so I sent him an e-mail saying please let me know you are ok. He did, he is okay and "has found someone new that he wants to pursue a relationship with". Was it online while we were dating? Don't know, but probably! Would I confront him? YES! Would I think this was a problem? YES! | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 3/25/2009 8:48:26 PM | | geez, I just went through this. when i catch him on the site i told him i didnt want to see him anymore, he got so scared he went to me and said that I was all what he always wanted that he dont wanna lose me and bla bla and that same night he deleted the acc. that made me think about givin it another shot... hope it goes ok. | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 3/26/2009 4:51:49 PM | Okay, let's consider a few things. First off, there are sites that show anybody you had contact with (expecially if you've emailed) as always "being on line" or "recently active." Some of these sites even keep your profile posted if you've "resigned" from the site just so it looks like they have a more active membership.
Now, the question becomes is he really there and really looking? You'll have to ask him that directly and see what he says and offers as an explanation.
I'd like to turn the question around the other way because it has happened to me. In a mutually agreed on "exclusive" relationship so I took my profile down but she kept hers active. Any comments on that one? | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 3/26/2009 6:28:19 PM | My point is that you don't trust him because he didn't cancel his site membership and then he did to prove to you he was OK,but you kept your membership the whole time,so why should he trust you,that's my point,why should he cancel his while you keep yours,what is the difference why can't he get all mad at you and claim distrust about you just like you did to him.....that's not fair at all
Or is that you can have your profile here and because you know you can be completely trusted ,then whats wrong with that......well maybe so could he,its in your head he cannot be trusted.
When I am dating someone, then I'm only here to answer mail saying I'm taken right now,and to write in the forums,it would make me upset if some lady accused me of cheating and forced me off here,and I'd be pissed if I canceled my profile then found out she kept hers,I'd dump her for that after she made such a stink about nothing.
Life a two way street if rules need to be placed on your guy then the same rules need to apply to you...........thats only fair. | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 3/26/2009 9:24:14 PM | | hes still looking sweetie. have had it happen and asked the guy, he said he didnt want to be exclusive after i busted him. i was devastated!!!he lied to me and in the beginning said the usual bs like they do to get what they want.he might tell u he has friends on pof or the site and say he was saying hello to them or he might say he was answering mail. any answer is not acceptable in an exclusive relationship. back away for a while and if he cares about you he will make a decision the site or you | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 3/27/2009 7:34:16 AM | | I have hid my profile and found that everyone that's on your favorite list still sees you and does not know your hid but if someone new is searching then your hid,so beware of that glitch, oh, p.s. when I wrote on my profile I was on hold "I'm seeing someone, so sorry,but thanks" ,several ladies wrote me,so they either were not reading my profile or they were hedging in on my new lady. | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 3/31/2009 12:30:15 AM | | depend on if you are sexually active if you two are just dating few times you aren't married then no it's him leting you know he still looking and so should you.FAIR IS FAIR.If you are dating and having sex or telling each other excusive then it's cheating.discuss it with each other find out if he consider the two of you serious. | |
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