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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 4/4/2009 1:34:17 PM | Hello Allieap msg 1042, 1044... You have found a bit of dating wisdom in your 19 yrs, that when one of the two say or do something to show they are very interested in the other
and that same night he deleted the acc. that made me think about givin it another shot... Then in msg 1044
haha I know, but now im the one whos not sure about us.. until he proofs it, I dont trust him much for that site thing. You say it's a trust issue that's makes you unsure... I just wonder if that's the whole deal... I have found that when one of the 2 demonstrates more interest then the other, it scares the recipient (now they feel they have to decide if they want a relationship with this person, as though the decision is totally on them) and shifts the 'power' to them. You may not realize it right now, but he isn't doing you a favor by putting all on your shoulders, and you the same by wanting that all on you. You are better off having some question in your mind if he totally wants you, it keeps you from taking him for granted. For you to fall in love with him, you have to respect him, he has to have value and he being wanted by others tends to cause one to assign him greater value. I agree in a perfect world, this should not be necessary and we should be able to see a mates potential worth without this 'help'... lol Still it is human nature and is worth thinking about... I would like to think that with my accumulated wisdom, I am above such 'games' and I believe I am, I hope I;m right!! :) I meant no offense by this, just wanted to offer these thoughts to you... Snoopy... | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 4/4/2009 6:40:30 PM | | I can only tell you what I did. I was dating a guy who was doing the same thing to me. Every day I would go on and see that he had been active that day. We had not gotten "involved" after a month. When he kept pressuring me for more, I finally told him I would reconsider after he hid his profile and got off the site. I realized a couple of days later that if I had to ask, it wasn't right for me and he wasn't respecting our relationship or me and honoring me - which I think is how we want a man to treat us. I certainly wasn't honoring myself either by "hanging in there" hoping he'd see the light! I called it off and am glad I did. If you are having sex with a guy and he is still on a dating site, he is "just not that in to you" and is keeping his options open. You feeling hurt is your intuition's way of trying to tell you - you are not honoring yourself. Have a talk with him and you will quickly find out if you should continue on. | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 4/4/2009 7:13:38 PM | | Msg 1055... Wow... Yes if you are in a sexual relationship the profiles had better be gone~deleted... better not to get sexual too fast I think, I had no idea people would even consider a sexual relationship so soon... not me... :) Still, I wonder why the women commenters on here seem to expect the man to delete his profile while 'she' retains hers??? Respect is a two-way street ppl! Also, I assume you all relize some delete their profile and just create another with a new nic and possibly a new location, in order to 'check up' on their potential... me.... I'm too lazy to do that... if I can't tell the woman wants me n' me alone... she's not worth my time. Snoopy~ :) | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 4/4/2009 9:54:38 PM | To quote a song:
It is sometimes "sad to belong to someone else when the right one comes along..."
It could happen to you or him. It can happen to anyone, really.
On the other hand, it's only a website persona.
I personally don't care as long as she doesn't meet and be romantic with the other guy. If that happens then she has made her choice and I move on.
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 4/5/2009 10:47:12 AM | I would think that first of all you need to talk to him and define your relationship with him. You may think he is in a relationship but he may not feel that way. Then depending on his answer based on his perception of what the two of you are doing will determine where you go from there in the discussion. If he is still active on the dating site then he is still looking and you may just be an option.  | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 4/5/2009 1:08:03 PM | | I am in a relationship with someone I met on here and I have changed my account to hidden and stating that I am on here only to read the forums. Not interested in dating. I noticed he does still have his account on here but it is hidden and when he put me in his favorites I noticed he hadn't did any changes but make his account hidden and deleted his favorites. I am not worried about him looking for anyone to date but he could be waiting to see if our relationship lasts and if not he can again use the same profile he had when he was looking and found me. If you trust the guy you are in the relationship with I don't think you have anything to worry about. He could be reading the forums such as I am. My guy knows I get on here to read the forums, it is no secret. | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 4/14/2009 8:35:32 PM | BengalBlue Mssage 1057 ur so right that's my point!! and snoopy3dog thanks for the advice ;) Guess what? a couple weeks ago I just found out that he has a "girlfriend" from the site since 4 months ago who lives on the other side of the country. She is really into him, and when he told her about me she didn't even care that we were in a relationship! anyway, I don't say that he cheated on me cuz they haven't even met yet, so no physical contact at all, but He won't stop talking to her! he swears that he "loves me" but don't wanna hurt her feelings cuz she is her best friend. we obviously broke up but the tru is that i do have feelings for him and we are still together at some point. i'm so confused  | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 5/4/2009 2:01:55 PM | I'd like to turn the question around the other way because it has happened to me. In a mutually agreed on "exclusive" relationship so I took my profile down but she kept hers active. Any comments on that one?
TO MR.NICESTGUY2KNOW, BEING A NICEST GUY DOESN'T REPRESENTS A DUMB WITHOUT ANY INSIGHT IN MY BOOK AND CERTAINLY NOT A DOOR MAT.
DO U REALLY HAVE TO ASK STRANGERS REGARDING TO HER ACTIVE PROFILE???
MAYBE SHE MEANT TO SAY "INCLUDED" RELATIONSHIPS WITH OTHERS ALONG WITH U. | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 5/4/2009 2:13:29 PM | | Some people,myself included, have made friends on here and/or enjoy the forums.I think it is only fair to hide your profile after making a change in status to not single/not looking once you are in a relationship.If I had a partner who objected to that,I would cancel my account after giving friends my contact information.Most would be content if the profile was hidden,I am inclined to believe.It would be someone quite insecure who would insist the account be closed,but it is easy enough to make a new profile if things don't work out! | |
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