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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 3/11/2006 5:57:21 PM | Sure...Guy or girl...keeping good communication, both know when your exclusive or not. If exclusive, it prolly isn't conducive to a close healthy relationship to be chatting regular with the opposite sex on a dating site. No matter what the explanation, it does send mixed signals in the least. If completely happy in yr partner in crime, you'd be talking or doing something with them, and respecting the others feelings about such things. Sounds as if a good heart to heart is in order here.... just my two cents
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 3/11/2006 7:18:41 PM | | I think the men who have posted their respsonses in this forum stating that it's ok, he's probably just reading the forums, has friends, or tells people that are writing to him he's in a relationship is a bunch of bullsh%t. They are guilty of doing the same thing. If he has a profile up and on a dating site active then you need to create a fake profile and write to him and see what his response is. Does he write you back ask for your picture etc.? then you'll have your answers..........and after that happens to even bother talking to him to hear the rest of his bullsh%t lies! If your dating someone then you have no business on a singles dating site with the exception of maybe this one I don't know of any other sites that have forums like this one does. If you want to be a serial dater then just be upfront and tell all of the women you are seeing that you enjoy dating several women at a time and no one gets their feelings hurt. What is so hard about that???? | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 3/13/2006 10:05:10 AM | | I can understand why a guy who is in arelationship is still active on a dating site....maybe that his girlfriend isn't commited enough. Maybe in the beginning of the relationship he did took himself off the site, but when he realize that she wasn't into him as much as he was into her....or that he feel like a used car salesperson...try to get her to spend more time. In the back of his mind....she might leave him any minute....but since he is so inlove with her...he can't just leave her | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 3/13/2006 10:07:36 AM | I'm in a relationship, and I say so in my profile. I'm active here because I like the forums. I'm not "keeping my options open." I'm sure some people do it. Just because he is on the site doesn't mean he's cheating, or looking for something better.
On the other hand, being THIS concerned only two weeks into the relationship is a tad much. | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 3/15/2006 10:40:12 AM | | i think that is crap!!! i experienced that. in my eyes they are keeping one eye open, you on the back burner sort of speak. they are being cautious not really knowing what they want. they keep one woman to fill in boredom and look for someone else inbetween that. why do guys and girls do that?i remained on the pof to talk to friends i was talking to before.he on the other hand i had found out was flirtting and meeting women,lol. do people not really think this world is a small world.lol.if he is in awww with you why does he need to keep searching???friends is what i heard.well funny he had told me that female and male friends can't happen. then decides to contradict his own words. he then emails me saying he is not over ex he guesses and needs to soul search but remains on the line.if they need to stay on they are not happy with you OR they are weary of what may happen with you. | |
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funbbw
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Joined: 2/28/2006
Msg: 138 | |
| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 3/15/2006 10:52:34 AM | It happens to all of us, I was in the same boat as you, thought after 8 months this guy was serious about our relationship but meanwhile he kept his options open on the site we met on. Like a dummy I took my profile off the site but because I was a premium member I could still check up on him. A couple of times after seeing he had been on the site, (this one gives date, time, etc) I confronted him about it. Always the same thing, told not to worry that he had messages in the box from people he wanted to delete. Well the first time I fell for this, the second time I knew better but did not say anything. They usually hang themselves if they think they can get away with it. He did....oh the joys of these sites. Now I just tell them up front, if they want to play games move on, I am too old for this nonsense. I keep my options open as well and tell them up front about that. If they want to be serious they will be the ones to make the first move, not me, not anymore.
Best thing is to confront him first, then if the answer does not satisfy you, end it. | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 3/17/2006 2:48:20 AM | Very well said ladybug, I totally agree. My guy said he was on here for forums, no prob. one day a fatal click to me to his inbox, He not only still had looking for LONG TERM RELATIONSHIP on profile, but lots of messages. So I just clicked on their profiles and told all the women he had a girlfriend. My profile at the time stated in capitals that I had a boyfriend, & was only here for the forums. I see no problem with opposite sex friends, but 11 women from a dating site, I don't think so.
Got some replies from these women, they asked if he had a girlfriend & he told them "NO, if I did I wouldn't have any business being on this site>"
Then he comes home & kicks me out of the house because I informed these women that.
Women & Men be careful! Sure are a lot of players on here, & I read the whole thread. | |
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urit
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Joined: 3/16/2006
Msg: 141 | |
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detcam
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Joined: 3/9/2006
Msg: 144 | |
| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 3/17/2006 4:10:50 AM | | keepingstep - first step is just talk to him before you get upset with him. Just because a guy is active on PoF does not mean anything. It would be pretty easy to check out – by setting up a false profile, or asking for someone to help you by contacting him – you might either get a nice surprise or find out that the guy is a sleaze ball. My preference would be that the person I was dating talked to me about it first if that was an issue, if you lie to someone you will get caught out somewhere along the line. | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 3/17/2006 4:25:51 AM |
Just because you are in a relationship does not mean that you can not have other sexes as a friend.
Agreed. And I'm really liking indigo's "ring" answer, too. Don't need a ring, but what it symbolizes goes to "making it real". When you have a real relationship, it won't make a damn whether or not you talk to other people or spend time with other people. That's because your SO is the owner of your heart and no one else can get in.
I'd be more concerned about what people do "in person" than what they do on a computer. Talking to people on a computer, be it email or forums, does not mean that a person is up to no good. | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 3/17/2006 5:34:49 AM | I can certainly sympathize with your dilema. The same exact thing happend to me on here. When I tried to talk with this man about where our realtionship was going he got all freaked out. He said he was "just checking his mail", but it was 2, 3 or 4 times a day. I deleted my profile, but since have created a new one. I hate to admit it, but I actually commited the most ruthless act one could ever imagine. I posted a profile with a pic of my extremely beautiful girlfriend (with her permission) and emailed him, he was more than obliging and even asked "her" out that night. Called her "cutie" and offered his phone number. It hurt, yes, believe me, but it was a real eye opener for me. I deleted the profile immediately, (which probably rocked his world) and learned a valuable lesson. I never told him I did that and don't plan to. Hopefully he will regret what he lost.  | |
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funbbw
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Joined: 2/28/2006
Msg: 148 | |
| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 3/17/2006 5:52:59 AM | RE: tiredof beinglied to: Forget it girl, he won't regret it at all, he is a cad, you know it now do something about it. Don't sit back and wallow in the sorrow and pain that he is causing you. He is not ready for a committment to one person hence his not getting off the dating site. He just can't be trusted and without trust in a relationship its going no where fast.
Just remember there are other women out there that won't erase their profile but will take him up on this "date". Be good to yourself and I know you will find a good man who won't have to run to this site every 3-4 times a day for messages....but run to you instead... | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 3/17/2006 7:38:40 AM | It's really an individual thing. There's no "rule" for this, just as there's no "rule" for a guy (or woman) who'd go out trolling in bars and meeting members of the opposite sex or ... pick an activity.
Bottom line is that when you're developing a relationship with someone, you explore the other's likes and dislikes, needs, attitudes, etc. If they're compatible, you continue with the relationship. If you know a man or woman enjoys doing something you don't agree with, then you decide whether you can live with it or not, and at the same time, the person doing whatever has to decide whether the other person is worth giving up a particular "hobby" for if it's disagreeable to them.
Doesn't matter what the activity or habit or need is. What's perfectly normal and innocent to one person may not be for another.
Just my .02. | |
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