| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 3/17/2006 6:55:29 PM | | If you are in a relationship with someone and they are active on dating sites have they earned trust??? Trust has to be earned staying active on a dating site for single people is not the best way to earn someones trust. And you don't go to a dating site to pass time...........get a life and a hobby and do something constructive to pass the time. There are lots of other forums online that don't involve dating and singles for people in relationships. | |
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Rouxx
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Joined: 9/19/2005
Msg: 152 | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 3/18/2006 3:29:34 PM | | Yes, I agree. If you are actively seeing each other and you "know" the other party doesnt want you here, you then have a choice to make. Jealousy, such a nasty word and reality. If a guy is going to cheat on you, im not sure he is going to do it in such a public forum, however, some men are stupid...LOL If you cheat, you have whats coming to you. Guess that is why I cant be with an insecure person. | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 3/18/2006 4:08:07 PM | | I've had a similar experience and have since moved on. We met on another site and saw each other for about 6 months. We spent all of our free time together and really liked each other. I discovered he had his profile still up after I had deleted mine and I did ask him about it and let him know that it bothered me. He changed his profile to say he was "dating someone now" and that was cool. I then discovered him on this site seeking a relationship and on the original site under intimate encounters. Pretty sneaky huh? I don't feel I'm an insecure person and gave this man lots of freedom. I didn't want to end things because I felt we really had long term potential but the trust was gone and without trust, you have nothing. He is not here for the forums btw. He argued that a person could meet someone anywhere ie the grocery store or on the street, etc but I don't buy that. Sure he could meet someone anywhere but seeking someone on a dating site while in a relationship is actively seeking, and therein lies the difference. He was planning a get together with a singles group on here 2 days before we took a vacation together! He swears he has never cheated on me. I think he means that he didn't get the opportunity. I tried to make him understand where I'm coming from but he just doesn't get it. If I was a real b**ch I'd tell y'all who he is on here lol. So in the end, you have to trust your gut. That's the only reason I checked this site out in the first place, I had a feeling he was on another site. I have since joined pof and am enjoying the forums and hope to make some friends here as well. | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 3/18/2006 4:47:36 PM | | It's a situational thing. My man and I are both still here. We're active in the forums and still have many friends here that we write to. I'm not looking to make new men friends, but if I do I tell my sweetie about it. I also make sure they know I'm involved and it's friendship only. Usually they just want help with their profile or some advice. As long as you're upfront with your partner about what you're doing, it can be something that has no derogatory affect on your relationship. If it were creating a problem, I'd have no qualms about taking my profile down. It wouldn't be a matter of me having to think about it, my relationship is much more important and I wouldn't jeopardize it for anything. Our friendships here are very important to us, but we could continue to stay in touch. It's just a matter of communicating and having an understanding. And of course 100% faith and trust in the other person. | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 3/18/2006 4:55:01 PM |
hey what if you have friends that u just talk to is that so bad!! why get off the site when u still have friends there??
Chat with your friends through email, MSN or phone. No need to be on a singles site strictly to chat with friends.
When I was actively looking to meet someone on a dating site I found it exhausting. I would think once you actually met someone you would be glad to get off it.
I certainly wouldn't like it if someone I met still had a profile up. Absolutely no need for it. | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 3/18/2006 5:26:05 PM | There is a man on this site, that I met thru another one. We had started to see each other, and I thought we were getting along great. Then I find out he is writing to other women asking if they could meet and that he was single and not seeing anyone. One of the women he happened to contact was my best friend. She confronted him about what he was doing and he gave ME proper hell. Who the hell did she think she was telling him off like that. He twisted it all around and made out it was my fault for him being an a$$hole.
Some men, eh? Thank goodness not all like that. | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 3/18/2006 5:33:19 PM | Ah...players. I had the same thing happen to me. After two months of steady dating, I said, if we are to go further, I think that both of us should take off our profiles. What do you say? He agreed without hesitation. Then, I saw him still on there. He gave me the excuse, "oh the silly dating site won't take me off." Five months later, I had my red flags up, went back, and found out that he had a few other profiles on the site, some of them shopping for intimate friends only, and another written in Greek! (I had it translated). All these profiles turned age 47 on the same day. It was one of the most painful experiences I've had, but it sure taught me a lesson. And yes, it felt very yucky to check on him.
He never goes online anymore - posted a goodbye to all his kuklas and said he met the girl of his dreams. I believe it was the Greek girl that mom and dad had picked out for him all along. By the way, if you ever meet an alpha1114, or Greekgod - he's a very good player, and he really doesn't care about who he plays. To him, all of us girls out there are just target practice.
(You have to watch your back, kiddo. The best way to tell isn't really to check the person's status. You can really tell this stuff in your gut - its the best check of all. When a person isn't really serious about you, he or she gives out the red flags. After a while, you can just tell.) | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 3/18/2006 5:38:24 PM | P.S. One of the nicest friends I ever met, I met on this site. He's a really cool guy, and he's a good buddy to go out with. He's dating, I'm dating, and he is a super honest person. If any girl ever asks me, "is he a good guy?" I'd say yes without hesitation. (Charlie you are cool!!!)
I feel blessed that there are still honest people out there. As I said in my earlier post, the very best check is the check in your gut and in your heart. All players, male and female, eventually get discovered. And IMHO, dating sites are called dating sites, because those that are still on them are still shopping around. When it happens to me that I get those red flags, I take off. That's why they call it, "plenty of fish." Cuz there are plenty of fish out there that are honest people who would gladly take their name off a site because they don't want to risk losing you. | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 3/18/2006 5:45:53 PM | | Sorry that had to happen to you birdy ... and yes .. it did feel yucky to check on him but it was a gut feeling that he was up to something and it turns out I was right. It irks me to no end that these guys get away with this!! They have no idea how hurtful their behavior is. I doubt they even read these forums but I would like to think that this thread might wake them up to the damage they are doing! Then again .. I'm probably dreamin ... Yeah pay attention to the red flags ladies! And your gut. | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 3/18/2006 6:25:49 PM | | I AGREE WITH ALOT OF WHAT OTHERS ALREADY WROTE BUT KNOW YOU ARE NOT ALONE--I WENT THRU THAT WITH A MAN I MET ON THIS SIGHT ALSO--WE TALKED OF A RELATIONSHIP--HE TOLD ME I WAS HIS GF AND WE MADE PLANS TO BE TOGETHER AFTER MEETING AND BEING TOGETHER--THEN GUESS WHAT --HE PUT HIS ADS BACK ON HERE TOO--I THINK WE SHOULD MAKE A LIST OF ALL THE ONES WHO DO THAT AND MAKE IT POSTED SO OTHERS DON'T GET PLAYED BY THEM TOO (LOL JK)--YOU WOULD THINK A MAN OR WOMAN COULD BE HONEST ABOUT THINGS IF THEY WERE GOING TO DO IT THEN SAY SO--HONESTY IS RARE | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 3/18/2006 11:08:52 PM | K this may be sneeky but if you're not sure...find a pic of a girl...send him a message saying you're interested and see what his reply is...if he says he's not available then all is good . But remember we are all allowed to have friends...it's just human nature....whether female or male...and if you can't accept the fact that he needs female friends...then take a reality check on your jealousy. GOOD LUCK ! | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 3/19/2006 1:44:18 AM | I'd dump his ass so fast
cheating is cheating
weater it's still in the first stages or not
i would'nt give a rats ass
if a dude has comimted to me
he better not be looking for better options
thats just not right
why would anyone who has any brains do something like that when all that has to be said is
"look in not ready to make a full commitment to you I want to keep my options open"
wtf
This is the type of man that really get's me pissed off because by him not being honest with me he's basically thinking he has found some sort of grey area in the faihfull ness department and thinks he's slick
His type of man I really like to make feel about a inch high
I cant stand sneakness or lieing I hate wasting my freaking time with some loser that isnt grown enough to say how he feels
I am just behoved at why people do some of the things they do
~Starless Night~
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