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| Why don't asian males dig mixed asian women?
Posted: 8/17/2005 10:24:59 AM | @wendyhottie,
Wrong thread. Do you read???!!!
Yes SOME White men are more tender than SOME asians, just as SOME asian men are more tender than SOME whites.
Did I mention some "Asian Women", particular those who have grown up in western societies (ABCs and CBCs), have inferiority syndrome? They despise their own identity. How regretable! | |
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| Why don't asian males dig mixed asian women?
Posted: 8/17/2005 12:32:18 PM | Theres nothing wrong with arrange marriage. My best friend whom is a parkistanian had an arrange marriage. Actually all his brothers and sister are too and they are all happy. I've meet them all and am like a brother to them so I know. To each their own. In fact they all have a successfull marriage. It is the culture and it work because both party commit to it. These days, it is hard to find people that would agree with arrange marriage and you have to really trust the people that does the arranging. Off course not all arrange marriage work but like anything other marriage, they all have their own issue.
But now we are getting off topic.... | |
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| Why don't asian males dig mixed asian women?
Posted: 8/17/2005 2:10:19 PM | there is nothing wrong with arranged marriage if both parties actually want to be in an arranged marriage. plus i thk the stats are a little skewed on equating arranged marriage divorce rate with better marriages (think divorce is usually frowned upon in cultures that practice arranged marriages - cultural (society & familial) consequences).
then again... i am probably wrong since i feel marriage is like a business arrangment or "social contract" that is very involved and requires substantial negotiations. sick?  sooooo true. Oh how romantic 
i am not against an arranged marriage but i kind of want to try the other way first (at least give it a chance). besides what works for my parents (MOM) doesn't necessarily spell attractive & worthwhile to me. believe me i know my mother. two different shades of pink are not pink....he,he.. (devil is in the details) | |
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| Why don't asian males dig mixed asian women?
Posted: 8/17/2005 5:14:17 PM | because i don't care to  .
plus if u read my inital post, you would know that i was referring to east asian being chinese myself.
sorry but prefer to use the word versus oriental to describe people from east asia.  | |
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| Why don't asian males dig mixed asian women?
Posted: 8/18/2005 5:45:20 AM | Five of the world's major civilizations exist in the continent of Asia: Sinic, Japanese, Eastern Orthodox (Russian), Indian, and Islamic. Yes Russia is an Asian country by geography, and yes most so called mid-eastern countries are also in Asian continent. These cilvilizations are distinct; each has its own rich histroy/tradition, religion/language, and politics/economics. (Things are much simpler in other continents; the world has only three more cilvilizations: western, Latin American, and African.)
Thus for clarity purpose, it is very important to be specific when it comes to Asia. It is really very simple: refer to people as who they are; call a Chinese Chinese, a Japanese Japanese, and an Indian and Indian.
Peace
MITgrad00 | |
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| Why don't asian males dig mixed asian women?
Posted: 8/18/2005 6:01:22 AM | however in reference to this thread, i wanted feedback from east asian males & females about dating mixed east asian (ie not 100%, for my case - females). i had my theories but wanted to hear what others thought because i can't be the only mixed asian female with a complex...he,he... | |
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| Why don't asian males dig mixed asian women?
Posted: 8/18/2005 6:25:06 AM | OT: I certainly do. The problem is the other way around: mixed Asian women don't dig Asian males.
What I have observed is that if one is mixed with White (such as Dean Cain and the actor in speed), chances are the person identify with White, and often try to conceal his/her Asian heritage.
This seems to be doubly true with Chinese/White mixed females; none I have met ever speaks Chinese and alway identifies herself as "white". It is them who will never go out with an "Asian" guy. (They have been taught by their parents that they are white and NOT Chinese. Many are even more close-minded than a 100% white female.) How regretable.
BTW, this also happens to ABCs and CBCs too. Look at that wendyhottie girl; it is clear she is brain-washed to believe in her own inferiority. | |
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| Why don't asian males dig mixed asian women?
Posted: 8/18/2005 11:04:06 AM | I think it is easier for the mixed asian to identified themself as white or westerner. After all, they are born here in the western world where they don't know much about their parent's culture and language. I mean, even I call my self canadian citizen. I lived in Canada longer than I lived in vietnam. It is the same with the fob.. they will never consider themself anything else but Chinese because the western culture and the english language would make them feel they are inferior to ther cbc and abc where as the abc, cbc would seldom consider them self as real chinese because they too feel inferious to the fob because of their lack of knowledge in the language and culture. Because of their feeling of inferiour to each other, they never really make any attempt to get to know each other or hang around with each other.
When I first came to canada, I can't understand why all my cousin don't know how to write in chinese or read chinese or speak fluence Chinese but now that I've been here for 16 years, my chinese/vietnamese are deminishing and I eat more Canadian food than chinese food. so I understand both side and I do hang around with both the fob and cbc and the mix asian or any other race. | |
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| Why don't asian males dig mixed asian women?
Posted: 8/18/2005 11:43:08 AM | Every immigrant, particularly those from a different civilization, has struggled with this issue.
What Confucius said rings even more true more than two thousands year later in the age of globalization. The superior man does not idenfiy with a piece of land, where he is born and raised nor where he lives at the moment. He adapts to whatever culture he lives in, but he only identifies/follows with a set of principles and pursues his vision of exellence. He will only let other people tell him that he is Chinese/American/Canadian/whatever, for him, he is all of them.
My comments are directed at those who lack self-confidence, who despise their own indentity, who have a inferior syndrome. The weak and the impressionable are easily corrupted/brainwashed by the all powerful media. I do not have anything against them. I feel deeply sorry for them. | |
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| Why don't asian males dig mixed asian women?
Posted: 8/18/2005 12:01:34 PM | @mitgrad
@gabby
@lostwords
You are all providing great insight to these topics. I admire the fact that you are keeping it real, and honest.
I feel many people are afraid of talking about these subjects. They would like you to believe these problems don't exist. Basically because they haven't gone through these situations. They would rather ignore the fact of it's existence. We have to call these situations as we see them. I'm frustrated by people responding to pick fun at these situations. They even try and convince you that the problem could be you. Then before you know it the whole subject has changed into a mutated form of babble.
Thank you so much, for raising the awareness of these issues.
Great insight! | |
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| Why don't asian males dig mixed asian women?
Posted: 8/18/2005 12:05:23 PM | lw - i cannot explain my parents' thoughts or motivations. i can only say that my mother didn't look at me as chinese until i asserted myself. have come to realize that i am chinese (along w/ all the other stuff) whether someone else recognizes it. i believe a person can be more than one thing and still be at peace with oneself.
not going to lie. identity can be very difficult. we are all a product of our environment whether we want to admit it or not. | |
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| Why don't asian males dig mixed asian women?
Posted: 8/18/2005 3:13:57 PM | "lw - i cannot explain my parents' thoughts or motivations. i can only say that my mother didn't look at me as chinese until i asserted myself. have come to realize that i am chinese (along w/ all the other stuff) whether someone else recognizes it. i believe a person can be more than one thing and still be at peace with oneself. "
um..... mm....is your parent born in U.S or born from other country and moved to U.sAs an early age??
As I grow older and especially since I moved out of the house, I've learn to appreciated my parents much more and understand their point of view on things..
I am not gonna try to predict what your parents thought or motivations but maybe because they thought that you born there and with various culture involve..they think you would be easier to identify your self as American??
I used to hate it when I was younger in which I've alway felt like a kite in which theres alway a string attach to me. my parents would send mix messages: you gotta be good at school, learn to adapt to this new country which you will call home and learn the language well... but as soon as I start to excel at it or as soon as they felt I move apart, they would pull the string and drag me back.. and it frustrated me a great deal,... how can you tell me to be good at something without me fully commit to it. How can I call this my home when I am not able to make it like my own. How can you act like other Canadian without having to be involve in Canadian's culture. But I've learned to manuvuer... I know I will alway have a strong chinese/Vietnamese background because that all we spoke at home.. Cantonese at home and Vietnamese to vietnamese guest.
As I grow older, I can see their struggle.. I mean, they came to this new land in which they have absolutely no control. the first thing utter out of my uncles and aunts mouth was "Don't beat your son or daughter here or you will go to jail." Its not like my parent beat the crap out of us when we were young but they do discipline us as they see fit. I mean imagine coming to a new country with your kids, the only thing you hear and see are your friends complaining about how their kids changed and how irrelevant they are to their kids. how the kids abandone their own cultures to the new one and don't respect their elder... most of those tails are tell in exaggerations but... being new to the country, you couldn't able to tell the different and you just take people advice as it. There is no handbook on how to raise your kids in a new world and you just do what your friends did. In my parents case, they have to solely rely on my sister and I because we both young and have a gasp of the English. Every english letters, every interview, every time they need to speak to non asian, they require our present to interpret. they have no idea whats canadian school are like and can't be there to help us with our school work.... so yeah.. as I grow older, learn to understand what they've been through.
this is a theory.. I think with the first generation of what ever race in a new country or culture, when it time for you to have kids, you don't know how to raise them as.... for example.. if I ever get married, and have kids, I wouldn't necessary know how to raise my child by. Should I raise them the chinese way? the canadian way? you understand what I am talking about???
anyway.. this is way too long of a reply.. sorry for the long story....
on side note.. hey gabby.. actually I was gonna write that in a pm to gabby but couldn't due to her restriction ..... so maybe if you could loosen those restriction??
plus this become side tracked from the original subject.. | |
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| Why don't asian males dig mixed asian women?
Posted: 8/19/2005 5:57:26 AM | dd -
i am assuming you are referring to the identity question. if so, it depends on who i talk to.
with my siblings, we each have a different response. i hate to think it has alot to do with what we look like and view ourselves but i do. my older sister & younger sister, who look more like a euro version of my mother, tend to identify more with our euroasian background than our black heritage. my brother, who is as dark as i am, tends to identify more with our black heritage but accepts our chinese heritage.
speaking with friends, who are mixed with black, they tend to identify more with their black heritage. reasons vary from the old rule (a drop of black makes yoou black) to the roundabout consensus, which is the black community will accept you as you are as long as you acknowledge your black heritage.
did i answer your question or digress...he,he... | |
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| Why don't asian males dig mixed asian women?
Posted: 8/19/2005 6:10:39 AM | sorry about that lw. will release the restriction once i finish writing you a response.
my mom didn't come to the states until she was 20 something w/ my father. funny that u should mention all the "puppeting" about (that's what i call it) because i do walk the thin line. plus with my hawaiian activities & hanai (like honorary family) family, i walk an even thinner line but that's because i am a masochist
my mom is a character. let's just say I can never please her and suffers from the sort of schizophrenia you described above. i love her. | |
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| Why don't asian males dig mixed asian women?
Posted: 8/19/2005 11:16:19 AM | Gabby, Thanks for taking the time to answer my question.
I was just wondering if people answered differently in person, than on this site. I don't have too much insight to offer, but I do want to learn a thing or two. I'm just an under informed guy trying to gain some perspective.
You are all, enlightening me to something new. Thanks. | |
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| Why don't asian males dig mixed asian women?
Posted: 8/19/2005 11:33:06 AM | I'm replying to all the people in the post saying "mixed people" tend to be better. I full on agree. There was a Time magazine that did a huge piece on this issue and said that it will slowly migrate that way because of "survivial of the fittest". Every race has its ups and downs. But usually the dominant "good" genes take over the recessive "bad" genes for mixed kids. Thats why they usually come out looking good.  I want me kids to be mixed so that they will come up to me and say .... "thanks dad for marrying mom cause now i'm hot." hehehe. | |
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| Why don't asian males dig mixed asian women?
Posted: 8/19/2005 11:47:36 AM | It's been my observation, that Asian/American women usually prefer to date American men. My granddaughter is Asian/American, and she always dated black American men, and married one. All of her friends, seem to gravitate towards whatever their father is. If he's white, they choose white. If he's black, they choose black. I've yet to see one with an Asian man.
I don't know of any instances where the father is Asian and the mother is American. I just don't think Asian men date outside their race,that much, mixed or otherwise. | |
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| Why don't asian males dig mixed asian women?
Posted: 8/19/2005 12:35:53 PM | DD -
on the asian persuasion q, i think i gained more insight because 1) guys actually gave their input & 2) they weren't my friends - asian or otherwise. in my opinion this removes alot of the biases in their responses and perhaps some of the "political correctness". they don't owe me anything but a direct shot from the hip. so i found it informative. what do you know... i am not paranoid. wait a sec... i am not so unattractive. just in the wrong area...he,he.. | |
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| Why don't asian males dig mixed asian women?
Posted: 8/19/2005 1:15:11 PM | SLB-
thx for joining the thread! 
on the asian female/american male thing, i thk you have something there that was touched upon by someone in another thread "why caucasian women don't date asian men". how did the guy put it (eloquently i might add - was highly impressed), he said it was pretty said when your own women (asian being asian himself) consider dating an asian man as second rate or settling (when you can date an american man [white]).
in my family, both my sisters chose white and my brother chose white/mexican. me... i am strange. as my best friend likes to say i like skittles. i want to taste the rainbow.
though i agree on there being fewer in prevalence asian male/american female couples vs asian female/american male, i wanted to explore in this thread why asian men don't date/don't find attractive/ mixed heritage asian women. never thought that perhaps asian men sense socio-cultural issues with these women. there's something to think about... | |
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| Why don't asian males dig mixed asian women?
Posted: 8/19/2005 3:33:27 PM | I also believe -slb touch on something there...
hm..
I have 4 sisters... and we all consider our self Chinese more than vietnamese. Yet, 2 of my sisters married to Vietnamese and 1 married to chinese. 1 is dating Vietnamese. We all live in vietnam prior to immigrated to Canada. so I guess theres a connection there... as to why they ended up marrying Vietnamese.
Just to sorta throw it out there...
I wonder if asian girl have different standard when they dating asian and when they dating other race??
I've know a few asian girls and the perception I got from them is such that if they are dating Asian, they expect more.. they expect asian guys to pay for everything and hold out as long as they can .. where as when they are dating other race, they throw that out of the window.. sorta like "well they are not asian, so why would I expect to follow asian ways?"
Personally... I find asiian girls are very intimidating. I have asian girls as friends but I find my self get along much better with girl with other races.... Its not the fact that I don't want to pay for everything or I don't like girl that holding out... I find that I am not being judge or scrutinize when I am with girls from other race... | |
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