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| What if you meet someone on here thats bipolar and is an alcoholic?
Posted: 3/11/2008 10:24:27 PM | As far as Im concerned one should always be honest about their physical and mental health when entering into a new relationship... Just as I hope someone would be open and honest about children, ex-spouses, criminal history, impending financial ruin, drug and alcohol addiction and weither your a registered sex offender, unfortunately many people arent .....
If you see signs that make you wonder about substance abuse or they act erratic ask the about it..
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| What if you meet someone on here thats bipolar and is an alcoholic?
Posted: 3/28/2008 5:26:22 AM | I have bipolar and I don't drink, or do drugs. There are some high functioning people with bipolar who look after themselves and whose medication works for them, and many for whom the medication doesn't work and suffer, so they turn to drugs and alcohol to self-medicate. This is not a reason to feel sorry for this person and get into a relationship with them.
Remember that pity shouldn't be confused with love. In the past, when I wasn't well, I chose someone who was addicted to alcohol and felt guilty about leaving the person. Bipolar is difficult enough to deal with. If you combine that with addiction problems the person is NOT GOING TO EVER get better. Don't let an addict fool you. They can be sober for a couple of weeks, or even a month or two, but never for long. The success rate for addicts trying to quit is 2% - this is an actual percentage that AA tells people at their meetings. If you are attached to this person emotionally, I would suggest that you go to Al-anon meetings. They have meetings like Alcoholics Anonymous, but it is for friends and family, or someone who is in a relationship with an alcoholic. If you are attracted to an addict, it usually means that you have issues as well. Sometimes we get involved with people we can identify with. Sometimes it is the pain that you may be identifying with in other person, but you cannot base a relationship on pain. This is not healthy and will only lead to more suffering for both of you. HURT PEOPLE , HURT PEOPLE. | |
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| What if you meet someone on here thats bipolar and is an alcoholic?
Posted: 3/28/2008 5:31:53 AM | Just a note.
Many people have bipolar disorder that are functioning well.
Robin Williams - actor
Margot Kidder - actress in the first Superman movies "Lois Lane"
(has her own bipolar website and actually emailed me one day)
Linda Hamilton - actress (has her own bipolar website)
Budd Aldrin - Astronaut | |
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| What if you meet someone on here thats bipolar and is an alcoholic?
Posted: 3/28/2008 9:43:36 AM | i've always found al-anon a great resource.
it teaches you that you didn't cause the problem, you can't control it and you won't cure it. just knowing these three things can give such peace of mind. it truly releases you from the alcoholic's blame game.
i do admire anyone who has a problem and admits it and seeks to improve their life. | |
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| What if you meet someone on here thats bipolar and is an alcoholic?
Posted: 4/1/2008 2:03:19 AM | Abraham Lincon - President of United States
Patty Duke - Actress
Jack Nicholson -Actor
Britney Spears - Celebrity Star Singer (Possibly)
re: Britney-have disclosure issues on a magnified scale and it not fair to diagnose quickly.
you can also see a very high concentration level in this disorder and very gentle people thats why unexpected behavior stands out. | |
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| What if you meet someone on here thats bipolar and is an alcoholic?
Posted: 4/2/2008 7:48:51 AM | a problem with alcohol is almost always a huge impossible problem for those close to that person... so you would be mad to involve yourself until after they have sorted them selves out.
now response to some other responses.
..it is time for me to come out of the closet... the real word should be "Manic depressive".. that is the way that i am and i am not ashamed of if it. I don't think that this bipolar euphomism is any better than calling a black man "coloured". I do not suffer a condition...there are just powerful psychological processes going on with in me that make me a joy to some and very irritating to others.
More extreme manic depresives are more difficult to live with... but i do not easily conclude that changing people by giving them drugs is really always doing them a faviour... Self understanding is what they need the same as everyone else...
a homogonious society would be deadly boring | |
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| What if you meet someone on here thats bipolar and is an alcoholic?
Posted: 4/11/2008 3:14:47 AM | | A friend of mine was in a relationship with someone who was bipolar and an alcoholic and it was hell for her and it was painful for me to watch her suffer (she didn't know what he was like until she and he lived together). She was mentally and physically abused by him too. He eventually was helped accountable for his negative actions via the justice system. I helped her get back on her feet and now she leads a normal life once again. I'm proud of her strength and courage and tell her every day. | |
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| What if you meet someone on here thats bipolar and is an alcoholic?
Posted: 4/11/2008 5:29:23 AM | | If the person understands and can manage being bipolar it can be a good thing, one of my friends is bipolar and she is just the best person, ever. Alcoholism would tend to indictate that this is not the case with this person, in which case steer clear! | |
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| What if you meet someone on here thats bipolar and is an alcoholic?
Posted: 4/11/2008 5:53:55 AM | | I try to be a very understanding person and I try to be nice to everyone ... This is not easy to say , but I just know if I could deal with both of those issues at the same time ... I have known alcholics and I have known bi-polar ppl ... They say true love has no bounds ... It would take alot of love and a very strong person ... I saw several ppl on here say to RUN and I saw one person say walk ... I just dont know what to say ... but I hope it all works out for ya | |
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| What if you meet someone on here thats bipolar and is an alcoholic?
Posted: 6/12/2009 11:10:48 PM | | RUN! I have had two long term relationships with bi polars. I did not know this at first obviously and after time they both had told me the truth. My last relationship was for 3 years on and off and it was very rocky. I do believe her to be more than just bi polar, probably closer to boderline personality disorder. She was completely self absorbed, always some sort of drama going on. When I first met her she came across as normal, exciting, fun, attractive, confident, secure, and simply just hadn't met the right guy to settle down with. The first month or two was great, I thought she was a dream come true. But after that I had found out it was more like a nightmare. Where do I start. Supposively she had been broken up with her ex boyfriend for a few months when I started seeing her which I figured to be enough time for her to have moved on. Apparently they were very co-dependant on eachother, and kept in contact. Now I have no issues with ex's being friends or staying in touch but this was taken alot further. He would sleep over frequently, supposively as just friends. I once read an emai she sent to him how she wanted his big well you know, and she needed it asap and for him to come over. I confronted her on this and she simply said nothing had been going on and she was mad at me that day for no reason basically so she wrote him that. She claimed when he saw it he was like why did you send me that since they were just friends. So I let that go but that shoulda been a warning sign. She had so many issues, depression, manic episodes, problems with drinking, gambling, relationships in the past, suicide attempts/threats, self mutilating, eating disorders, prescription medications, u name it. I supposed some of this was partially my fault since I stayed so long and was always trying to be supportive in hopes she would change and things would get better and maybe she was just having a phase. Things would be great one day, then the next she would fight with me, break up with me, then tell her never to contact her again for no reason. We wouldnt talk for a few days then one of us would contact the other, more times than not it was me feeling lonely and sad and perhaps some misunderstanding, but it was all her mental illness. This woman hurt me so bad I really did love her, and I woulda done anything for her. I saw this women go from over 100k in the bank to broke with over 50k in credit card debt all from gambling, and ofcourse nothing was her fault. Everything was always my fault, I didnt do this or I said this or why cant I be more caring like her ex who constantly hung around her. This woman almost ruined my life, she stole money from me, got me fired from my job, gave me a black eye, threating to blackmail me in certain ways if I didnt do what she wanted or give her money, used sex to manipulate me, always pouted and fought with me if she didnt get her way, manipulated me to pay some of her bills etc.. She would repeatedly verbally abuse me out of her own pain, destroying my self confidence. Ofcourse it was my fault she acted this way. Eventually after 3 years I left her for good, and it wasnt easy, I was addicted to this person for whatever reason, but I knew in the longrun I had to go, I think after 3 years I had a good idea of if we could be together down the road or not. She used other men to make me jealous, Im sure she cheated on me just never found the proof, she never trusted me probably because she didnt trust herself. Its been 2 years now and we have no contact. I emailed her recently simply asking her to take my cat since I had to move and I know they were close, ofcourse she says no and asks me not to contact her again, completely wrote me off since Im of no use to her anymore. Like Im the one that did something wrong lol. Shes a miserable person no matter what front she puts up to others. She has all the symptoms of boderline personality disorder, and hasnt had a relationship since I have been gone, unless you count the ex boyfriend which kept falling for her abuse and games and kept believing she would get better, yet she never did. People like her are a blackhole, they suck you in and drain you emotionally, financially, pretty much anyway they can, and theres no return on your investment. One day they will leave you if you dont leave them first, and it will be real cold when she does trust me. Sometimes I miss the 5% of her which was good but I definately dont miss the other 95% of pure evil and selfishness. The morale of the story, run! You cant fix some people you just cant. If they arent happy by themselves, dont ever think they will be happy with you. I gave this woman my heart and everything I could just to be screwed over and over with nothing but bad memories to show for it. So if you meet someone like this, RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!! | |
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| What if you meet someone on here thats bipolar and is an alcoholic?
Posted: 6/13/2009 6:40:09 AM | | Oh god! I used to have a girlfriend who is bipolar and schizophrenic and she drinks/drank a lot and takes drugs. I couldnt handle it, she was like a rollercoaster and all she worried about was drinking and smoking and drugs. She was not a dependable friend at all. She used to get drunk and then hysterical and she slapped me once and used to see things. Crazy times. I just ignore her now. I dont live that life so why should she drag me into her world | |
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| What if you meet someone on here thats bipolar and is an alcoholic?
Posted: 6/16/2009 5:54:32 PM | Um, ditto... I would run for the hills before you get sucked in.
I am now in the process of extricating myself from a person who is diagnosed with bipolar, we had a whirlwind first 2 months, he was the perfect man. Hot, brilliant, over the top fun, wanting to spend all of his free time with me, and, he said he was falling, hard. But then things started to crumble. He would make a date, and not even cancel, he would just now show. I would call him, he could barely speak, and if he would, he would say that we didn't have firm plans. I knew that he had an illness, so I stayed on the horse because I was so stricken with a mad crush from our earlier days. This pattern of making dates, then disappearing happened time and time again. The heartfelt apologies come, you forgive them, the pattern of drama begins. Then the obsession with old girlfriends started, but it was all in my imagination, I was being paranoid, till I found out about the late night phone calls, the endless emailing, the weekend that she came to see him, and in the middle of it he came to see me to say that he wanted me back, then went back to her to tell her what he had done to try to manipulate her, too. Yes, it sounds ridiculous, but read some threads of folks talking about the experiences with bipolar people, they all say the same thing, that they wish they had gotten out at the beginning. I'm sure there are some people with bipolar disorder that are responsible with their meds, and to their relationships, but for the most part, it is a life long struggle for them, it can be cruel to those who attempt to love them, with a divorce rate of 90%. Your call, but I would RUN FOR THE HILLS. | |
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