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| OK< a challenge on the weight thing....
Posted: 7/26/2006 3:34:13 PM | I guess my overall point is grass is always greener. You mentioned in one of your posts how there are guys who would kill for a bigger girl yet being a thick girl myself I haven't seen that. On the same token I know plenty of women who are dating or married to extremely heavy men.
The reality is that in our culture people who are a "healthy" weight are viewed most attractive. There are people attracted to waifs and there are people attracted to those very heavy but extremes are going to be less common or popular. What makes people attractive is the attitude of I love myself and I don't give a damn whether you do or not.
Have I dated a heavy man? Damn skippy. (largest was about 5'6" and 275) Would I date another heavy man? Damn skippy. | |
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xamo
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Joined: 3/24/2006
Msg: 102 | |
| OK< a challenge on the weight thing....
Posted: 7/26/2006 3:35:12 PM | | Nice advertisement.....here's the thing, mind and body are not two totally seperate enteties. personally when I see a house in total disrepair I think what bad owners. Weather people would like to believe it or not, yhow you treat yourself is a good indication of how you would treat others, as well as what kind of person you are. Being "heavy" is not the result of anything out of your direct control. Women are not hypocrites for having a different defenition of personality than you do, and what are romantic relationships but deep friendship plus attraction and commitment ? The health problems down the line aren't great, and you yourslef aren't attracted to heavy women, so what gives ? go loose a hundread pounds ! | |
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| OK< a challenge on the weight thing....
Posted: 7/26/2006 3:35:26 PM | | I used to like a girl named Kristi who was in incredible shape. She was also very picky in who she would date. She once told me she works very hard to stay in good shape (via her diet and excercise) and keep up her appearance so she believed she deserves the same in a boyfriend. It was hard to argue against that belief. | |
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| OK< a challenge on the weight thing....
Posted: 7/26/2006 3:48:53 PM | | I dont think the "hairy" thing will keep the ace from finding a woman. I don't see the need in shaving arms, stomach, butt cheeks and all that. As long as I shave my legs & pits....keep the bush trimmed nicely, hell I'm good. Good Luck to ya!! Mel | |
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| OK< a challenge on the weight thing....
Posted: 7/26/2006 4:31:44 PM | tigergrrl -- how many guys out there are gonna pick a plain jane over a porn star at first glance??
h-ELLO! i have never dated a porn star looking chick in my life.. most of my g/f's have been on the heavy side as it is.. my current g/f is the closest thing to "super model" material that i will ever get. don't get me wrong, she's gorgeous, but not the type that you are describing..
Crayola -- ETA: I think this thread is full of jaded males.
only a woman who is extremely picky and jaded herself would make a comment like this.
yourhuckleberry -- As someone who stays in shape and takes pride in her appearance (I'm not goregous, but as least I make an effort), I'm annoyed when people who don't put out the same effort in their looks as I do whine about not being percieved as attractive.
yeah well, you know what? why don't we switch metabolism's for a little bit, then let's hear what you have to say about keeping in shape.. my metabolism is so fast, it is extremely difficult for me to gain weight. 6'2" and i just recently (within the past month) broke the 160 mark. personally, i'd like to be at my ideal weight, which for my height and age is about 175.. i eat and eat and eat, and try the weight gainer from GNC and guess what.. it doesn't work for me. There are people out there that have the same problem as me, except their metabolism is slower than what it should be. they work out, watch what they eat, and guess what... they still gain weight!!!!! if you had my metabolism and worked out, your ribs would be showing by the end of the week.. and i'm annoyed at people who have a problem with vanity.
now that i got that out of my system...
theace -- dude, don't worry... take my advice on this.. and yes, it is coming from a 28 yr old guy who has never been married.
if you actively pursue looking for Ms. Right, she isn't going to show up for a long time. take myself for example. i do have a g/f, (and no i'm not on here looking for someone on the side for those of you reading this that jump to conclusions) and how we met is a very unlikely story. the year that we met, i was off work due to health issues. on the day that i went back to work, she and i met. we talked for a bit, exchanged numbers and went our ways. i was not looking to be in a relationship or any kind, except for friends. i had just gotten out of an intense LTR, and was hurt. well, i called her, we talked, and then made plans to go to the park the following weekend. we walked around for a couple of hours, and talked about life in general. things started to progress, but they moved along real slow. and now, i couldn't be happier. i didn't give up on women, but at the time, when she and I met, i was not looking to get into a relationship.. i wasn't even looking for a booty call (sorry if that breaks the rules, but had to make that clear), and she walks right into my life.. just chill.. it'll happen when it's supposed to happen, don't try and rush it.. trust me, it'll happen when it happens.
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| OK< a challenge on the weight thing....
Posted: 7/26/2006 7:59:22 PM | TheAce-Do you realize that you are very superficial as well? You definitely like tall. So what about the short girls out there (and there are plenty here in North America!)?
I am not judging you, don't take me wrong, just pointing out the obvious. Everyone has preferences, likes and dislikes. Everyone will look twice at someone who meets those preferences and not even look at the person who doesn't meet any of the likes (or even matches all the physical dislikes). That's just the way it is.
I for one am honest about what I like and want and I will not settle for less. I will not lead anyone on and pretend that it's a personality thing. I want a tall guy that is in good physical shape too and his pic will have to do something for me before I will start conversations with him. And if I get approached by someone that physically just doesn't do it for me, I tell him honestly.
The only time I've ever been attracted to someone who had maybe 15 lbs too much on him was when I had gotten to know him via the phone from working with him for months. When we finally met during a business meeting it was his eyes, smile and personality (which I already knew pretty well) that made me completely miss the fact that he had some love handles and 'baby fat'.
Just to clarify, we never had any sort of relationship, just flirting for months and having a crush on eachother. | |
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| OK< a challenge on the weight thing....
Posted: 7/26/2006 8:18:18 PM | if we actually took the time out to get to know someone....and put the looks aside....you might be surprised to find good qualities in that person. they might not be for us but then again whos to say right? it seems to be a problem now days..to many emphasize on the looks...instead of gettin to know the person for who they really are. it takes effort an time to gettin to know that one person on a regular bases.
do you judge your friends on how they look? absolutelty not..you accept them for who they are..so what makes it any different who your meetin or dating? what imperfections do you have? | |
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| OK< a challenge on the weight thing....
Posted: 8/2/2006 5:39:49 PM | The weight thing combines for me with health as well (as brought up by dunkitty). I lost my mom to diabetes (type 2 - which is totally preventable) so I have a fear of loosing someone I care about again because they just don't care enough to keep in shape! You brush your teeth twice a day (I hope) so why not eat healthy, have plenty of physical activity (not necessarily the gym) and be aware of your own body in a healthy sense? You don't have to be in perfect shape, but be aware of your weight and your body type. Live a healthy lifestyle without foregoing the pleasures.
I prefer guys who are in shape, both for the above mentioned reason as well that I like to feel the muscles rather than the fat. Just a personal preference. But that's not to say that I would not fall for a guy who's a couple of pounds more than his ideal weight. Ultimately it is all about the personality and the chemistry between us. | |
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| OK< a challenge on the weight thing....
Posted: 8/3/2006 10:00:27 PM |
BUT...I have yet to see or ever meet a thinner woman who likes a big man
I can name several. My Aunt Susan married a large man and she was quite tiny. A woman I work with is so beautiful, little and her hubby is on the chunky side, I had a few ex's with belly's and I adored them. It's all about attitude. Mind you I'm not a twig so I don't count but I don't really like skinny men..I just wat to fee them and I'm always afraid I'm going to hurt them. | |
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| OK< a challenge on the weight thing....
Posted: 8/4/2006 5:02:35 AM | | I am starting to think people think I am too heavy. I weighed 240lbs about a month ago, I drink about 1.5litres of water a day bike 20min to work and back and have lost 20lbs. I also cut out the pop and mcdonalds crap as well. I eat chicken rice and peas diet, tuna fish and lots of veggies. I plan to join a gym and drop another 20lbs and tone up. Let me tell u this, our society unfortunately views looks way up there. Girls want to have the person who has the 6-pack over the beer gut. 9out of 10 women I am sure do and if they say otherwise they are lying. The reason I am trying to loose weight is not to impress a woman. I am doing it for my health. I can honestly say I feel great! | |
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| OK< a challenge on the weight thing....
Posted: 8/4/2006 5:37:05 AM | | A 6 pack on guys is very rare. Genetically our guts are where we store fat first and lose fat last. For a guy to have a 6 pack he will have single digit body fat usually. Actually thats my goal but guys can be very fit and in shape without having an actual 6 pack. I think people need to be realistic. We all find different kinds of people attractive. Some are less picky than others. I actually think the ones that are less picky end up happier but we want what we want. Its hard to be less picky. :) | |
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| OK< a challenge on the weight thing....
Posted: 8/4/2006 6:24:56 AM | Yo Huckleberry you have a real problem buddy you come across as all overweight people are as they want to be or are to lazy to do otherwise well let me tell you I have been on every diet know to man and even went under the knife to lose weight and I am still the size I am if you think I have not tried you are full of crap. I would like to see some of these people add on 100lbs and see how they would deal with it would they just tell themselves they are lazy and how would they take the daily fat jokes. I am not putting down anyone I accept people for who they are and I am more attracted to a woman with a nice smile and pretty eyes no matter what size they are all I am saying is ladies give a guy a chance whether he is big, short, tall, thin whatever you could be passing up your soulmate because you have been brainwashed by society to think that who they tell you that you should be attracted to is really who you should be attracted to. As far as myself I am a hell of a nice guy treat a woman like a queen I was married for 19 years and now I am a widower but, I might not be well endowed as some skinny guys but, I make sure my woman is satisfied it is more important to me to satisfy my woman than myself. I just think sometimes it would be interesting if everyone was blind and then see who people would pick to be with it might suprise you.  | |
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| OK< a challenge on the weight thing....
Posted: 8/4/2006 7:04:36 AM | In your case, maybe it is your personality - the picture you have up- the face isn't bad. But you sound more than a little hypocritical, babsy.
You want a good looking woman, who looks good in a very particular sort of way, etc. and you are whining that they are judging you on your looks.
Well, if that's what is most important to you, don't expect it to not be most important to the women you are angling after. If what you want is a woman who is nice and who will like you for yourself, then go after a woman who is nice. And if what you want is a woman who is hairy, go and look on the groups for hirsute (sp?) women and leave the shaven women alone.
If I was a tall and hairy woman I'd have nothing to do with you because I don't want a man who is interested in me just for what I look like. Been there, done that, and it's shite! | |
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| OK< a challenge on the weight thing....
Posted: 8/4/2006 7:11:17 AM | *ahem* Most of my weight problems are due to health issues I couldn't get treated for because doctors don't listen for shite and due to my ex-husband's extremely abusive nature and the police, DFYS, etc. having a complete inabilitiy to do their job. So I know, beyond a doubt, that it's not always the fault of the owner of the house .. sometimes they just have the sort of neighbors who like to steal shingles and put holes in the walls.
That being said, I do agree with a great deal of what I think you meant, anyway. And mostly what I agree with is more or less what I already said : if he's so attracted to looks then he should be trying harder to give what he wants to take or, conversely, he should lower his standards on looks and worry about finding someone who likes him, etc. | |
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| OK< a challenge on the weight thing....
Posted: 8/4/2006 7:24:30 AM | uhmmm... wow! Then I guess I'm a liar lol
I have never chosen a man based on his physical looks - well, it had something to do with looks, but it's more like the way he carries himself, what shows in his eyes, the sort of facial hair he has but it's certainly never been about weight.
I do have a decided preference, when just looking at men, to go for the Tommy Lee type: tall, white, thin, scruffy, brown eyed, dark haired and beautiful. But then, I would never date Tommy Lee unless it was at gunpoint! So give me a choice between him and Bernie Mac or Danny Devito - and I'd have a hell of a time choosing between the two latter men because they'd both be a hell of a lot of fun to spend time with. .and neither one of them meet "my type" as just described.
So, no, sorry .. I wouldn't choose a 6-pack over a beer gut unless, maybe, all other things were equal - they were both nice guys, with good senses of humor, same basic moral values, good self esteem, both single, etc. And come to think of it, even then, I'd rather get to know the both of them and see which one I actually hit it off with, who is more likely to want a long term relationship, etc. So bite me on this one .. you are just wrong!
I don't do one night stands and that's all the difference being a pretty person makes, really. | |
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| OK< a challenge on the weight thing....
Posted: 8/4/2006 7:35:32 AM | By the way people, there is a saying I read a long time ago that holds very true:
Sensualists run to fat
What that means is, if you are looking for someone who is extremely tactile, who will be giving in bed to the point of driving you insane, who looks at foreplay as potentially an all day event, and who gets turned on by turning you on, you shouldn't be looking at thin people .. they tend to be more uptight and repressed in life and in bed - too worried about their own selves and their own looks to just enjoy!
Does that mean all thin people? No. But percentage wise, it is a fact: people who are allegedly overweight tend to be emotionally and sexually healthier and more giving. So there's something for you to think on. Because most of what makes them less healthy and less giving isn't their weight, it's the thin **stards that bombard them with insults all day long.
That is not about the extremely overweight who are crushing their own bones and who just have no self control at all, that is for the barely- moderately overweight - people who can still fit in airline seats and shop at Target.
My sister is way bigger than me and she has men all the time, by the way. She does go by looks to some extent - but she goes by whom she is most attracted to out of those whom are attracted to her and she talks to a lot of people whether they are attracted or not. Some of them decide they are attracted because she is talking to them. So even with her, being well over 300 lbs, it's not just about looks and yes there are some men who would kill to get with her. She's got beautiful eyes and she's a kinky thing with a hell of a personality .. that hasn't changed, just her weight has. | |
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| OK< a challenge on the weight thing....
Posted: 8/4/2006 7:54:14 AM | I have lived the Yo Yo of weight, for men, for fashion, for power, for............? Mmmmmmm?
I am now heavier than I should be, re Doctor. I do not like middle age spread, it is worse than vegemite spread on toast by a 2 year old, rather unsightly, tastes just the same but? And just know it'll be good for me.
If nothing else I have learnt in this life is, if you ain't happy in your skin, how can you invite another in? In other words do what you need to do to be happy with you. If you have recognised being over weight? is interefering with your love life then Hey! Do something about it. The world is your oyster, if you are looking for your pearl make sure the shell is okay. Good luck | |
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| OK< a challenge on the weight thing....
Posted: 8/4/2006 7:15:35 PM | | U know not all women are into the "skinny" guys, if u ask me they look sick and unhealthy. If a guy has some meet on his bones fine or overweight, just as long as he cares for who he is with and they care for him, but , since we are on the subject of "weight thing," how bout we ask the guys why they have to go for all the skinny, blondes with big boobs. There are other women out there and some can love a guy better than the skinny blonde ever could, but they are not givin a chance because of the "weight issue", guys do it just as much as some girls do. The game is not what it is there is no game, everyone is out trying to find mr or miss right, and they are trying to find someone they think would make a good match, they aren't lookin for a "game" to play on someone, they are looking for someone who is truly into them. Because of guys who are out lookin for the superficial BBD, the other girls who have alot to offer someone get left behind, the deal flows the same way with guys, most girls are lookin for the jock so the great guys who have alot to offer are left behind, so don't think that it is just on u guys, the girls have to deal with it to. | |
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| OK< a challenge on the weight thing....
Posted: 8/4/2006 9:00:27 PM | | Thats cute tigergrrl. But in reality, most men I know (and me) would actually go for your "plain Jane" type a lot faster than the porn star model. Sure the porn star might be fun to look at but hey, way too high maintenance.... Even if they do get a lot hits of on sites like this. But to settle down with, I don't think the model has the chance a regular girl would have here. If everyone is telling the truth (see one of the lies threads), they just want someone they can feel comfortable and maybe step out of their box (have fun) with. And just to put the Big Guy to ease, I have seen a lot of thin women with heavier guys. It's ok to be a fuller person, but nobody wants to be seen with someone who looks like they don't give a damn about themselves. | |
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| OK< a challenge on the weight thing....
Posted: 8/4/2006 9:30:37 PM | I feel that I cannot demand that my date be in shape if I am not. I struggle with that and am now hitting the gym after over 10 years of sloughing off. Being in shape also means more than looks. It may also possibly indicate health, discipline, and self love. As being out of shape may possibly indicate neglect, overeating as a compensatory behavior, and lack of self love. And how one loves themselves may be an important indicator on how much they are able to love others. | |
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| OK< a challenge on the weight thing....
Posted: 8/5/2006 10:11:19 AM | What a load of codswallop!
As in anything in life.. it is now the size of the person. It's the personality.
On this site, there is a lovely man I was lived with for 3 years and almost 10 years later am STILL a very good friend. (As matter of fact, he unhid his profile so I could link this posting to his profile http://www.plentyoffish.com/member1593020.htm )... Hmmmmm.. VaderO.. sorry, dear (won't use your real name here.. It's more than "a few pounds".. love you dearly.)
When I met him.. online.. we exchanged emails, spoke on the phone every day (sometimes several times a day) for quite a while before we met. I'd never seen a picture of him.. I don't recall if I asked. The first time I laid eyes on him.. there came to be a response, in my mind, about his size and demeanour (that same word became and still is a word used to express my loving thoughts of him). The shell that encloses him doesn't do credit to the wonderful, beautiful, loving, honest, caring, extremely intelligent man that he IS (dang.. brought tears to my eyes attempting to find the words to express how wonderful he is.. to me and all those whose life he touches)
If you want "thin, attractive women" then you may as well accept that if that is your defining need of what may make a lovely companion.. in all probability, they will be looking for the same shallow definition of what makes for a "good" prospect. That does seem to be how life works.
As for lying being gender specific... Not bloody likely. It is a human condition to attempt to put ourselves in the best light -- especially when the other person isn't there to speak of their side or POV (point of view). There are people who will lie rather than be truthful (even if it is only from their perspective, their need to be 'liked' by everyone.. or to never be disliked (even for a moment) by anyone.... their loss.. as, IMO, they are not being real and in the moment in their own life) as they have found it easier then speaking their mind. | |
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| OK< a challenge on the weight thing....
Posted: 8/5/2006 10:34:18 AM | ..In a perfect world no one would be prejudiced, biased or whatever, but we do not live in a perfect world..
Why is it you can not date a woman who isn't thin?..perhaps in that answer you will find the answer to why the women you are going after won't date you..I"m not being mean,but I do find it strange that being heavy yourself, that you turn aside a woman who is heavy, because you want the "perfect" little woman..
I see heavy women with normal, heavy, athletic and skinny men all the time, just as I see heavy men with little and heavy women. So there are men and women out there who don't judge on size alone..
We all have our preferences , I used to think only men within a certain criteria were acceptable...As I've grown up, I've come to realize that there's more to people than the package, money and those tangibles that we use to determine if we''ll go out with someone.There are the intangibles that matter alot more and I guess this is something you only come to learn as you get older, have dated, and if lucky, you move past the high school attitude that we all had as kids..
Good Luck in your search..There's someone for you, but perhaps she's not in the package you think she has to be in..Good Luck.. | |
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| OK< a challenge on the weight thing....
Posted: 8/5/2006 11:22:34 AM | | ok, so What man would want a big fat woman. If you decide to have sex with her, he would have to roll her in flour and then find the wet spot to know where to enter her with his tool-not matter how big his tool is---- | |
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kame
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Joined: 4/7/2006
Msg: 125 | |
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