reijo3
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Joined: 5/2/2006
Msg: 126 | |
| OK< a challenge on the weight thing....
Posted: 8/5/2006 2:41:24 PM | Ya know,
My friends get caught up in the good guy, bad boy thing
Where all good guys get snubbed by women, where a bad boy is far more appealing
I used to buy into that theory as well
I know from years of experience that is a load of crap
Women care about one thing and one thing only – looks.
You could be penniless and a deaf mute, but if you are good looking, that's all that matters.
You are dead on about the chubby thing, Ace
But also don't forget about looks. You can have a couple of extra pounds, so long as you are good looking. Unfortunately, we can control our weight to some extent but we can't control what we look like, without extensive plastic surgery
So, there are those unfortunates who are dealt a bad hand from birth, and it's not there fault.
What can I say, women are visceral, superficial creatures (except for my mom, and late grandma, both saints) | |
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| OK< a challenge on the weight thing....
Posted: 8/5/2006 6:54:33 PM | | -dutchmommy-What are you REALLY trying to say? That you have a preconceived preference but you met a man on the phone who you became attracted to and still are, for his inner-self. So for example, if you met a guy who was totally up to your physically attractive standards, and he was a complete idiot without anything internally to offer you...who would you choose? | |
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| OK< a challenge on the weight thing....
Posted: 8/5/2006 8:01:18 PM | | Ok 10buck2..being on the "fluffy" side of the exterior....Maybe with your little willy you have to have someone that is thin so that you can fit. Yes, that was rude. How did that feel? I bet not too good. Before you judge others, in manners that you know nothing about.....Think before you type. | |
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tmn
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Joined: 7/21/2006
Msg: 129 | |
| OK< a challenge on the weight thing....
Posted: 8/5/2006 9:46:22 PM | Reijo3 ..."What can I say, women are visceral, superficial creatures (except for my mom, and late grandma, both saints)"
Funny stuff...however untrue, some women are that way, no question. A lot of men are as well. Kills me when I read some mens profiles who are looking for ' a woman thats just as good in the boardroom as they are in the bedroom' I almost choked up my twinkie when I read that one. One has to wonder if some people think Julia Roberts or Angelina Jolie are surfing plenty of fish for a mate. Get real for crying out loud...I think some men would get a lot more responses if their expectations were a bit more reasonable. | |
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| OK< a challenge on the weight thing....
Posted: 8/5/2006 9:48:36 PM |
What can I say, women are visceral, superficial creatures (except for my mom, and late grandma, both saints)
Do you think that maybe this is why you're still single? Sounds like you have a resentment for all women - except of course for your mother andd grandmother... who could do no wrong? - Laughable. Everyone is capable of error and most often fall victim to it on a regular basis.
Please don't group us all together - not all women are like that - I for one am not.. I believe there has to be attraction - yes.... but all women are attracted to different things on a man - what really gets me is a sense of humor and honestly - nice teeth... but that's about as picky as I get... when it comes to the physical appearance...
I'd be interested in hearing how many dates you get off of here after women read that post 
Jenn | |
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| OK< a challenge on the weight thing....
Posted: 8/5/2006 9:59:45 PM | my last bf was heavy. like 260 and 6'0 and that wasn't muscle either. we could bench about the same weight. i may be extremely picky when it comes to guys, but weight isn't usually the deciding factor. usually its how well they can hold a conversation. and thats the truth. make me laugh, show me you can match wits with me, debate with me, when we "click" i'm putty.
that "heavy" guy i dated is the only one i've dated of them all that i ever "clicked" with.
now i'm not saying that i meet all of your criteria either, i'm just saying that not all women base everything on the size of your waistband. | |
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| OK< a challenge on the weight thing....
Posted: 8/5/2006 10:06:28 PM | Your Profile says "a few extra pounds" so I have no way of knowing how many extra.
I personally have no interst in extremely overweight men ...eg the one recently who weighs well over 300 lbs and wants to date me. I don't want someone that heavy sitting on my new furniture and breaking it, occupying a seat in my car and breaking the springs, going to restaurants and not being able to fit in the booth, etc. The best personality in the world does not make up for the practical considerations that go with dating an obese man. ....and I haven't even touched upon health concerns. If I get seriously attached to a guy I want him to take care of his health as I try to do with mine. | |
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| OK< a challenge on the weight thing....
Posted: 8/5/2006 10:37:06 PM | Most of my life I have dated tall thin men. Never really thought about it, but it IS what I am attracted to. Then I met a wonderful man who is......well....fluffier. Not fat, just much softer and fuller than what I am accustomed to. Guess what, I fell head over heels. Just because someone has preferences does not make them shallow, we all do. Heck, you want a tall, thin, hairy brunette. Are you shallow? If you think it is shallow then why aren't you asking for a short, fat, butt ugly, you can keep the hairy part, 'cause that is just gross, woman?
Also, you have one pic on your profile which cuts off really high up, then say "a few extra pounds". Put a pic where people can get a better idea of how many extra. People like to have a general idea before they meet you so there are no major surprises. | |
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| OK< a challenge on the weight thing....
Posted: 8/6/2006 3:47:04 AM |
kame wrote:
Wow~ good post Dragoninrain sort of makes a person view things a bit diffrent .
Not likely to change anyone's POV, kame (as I note so many bent on justifying their choices --- what.. "taking care of their health" (weight can/does change up and down.. up and down.. for many people --- I know of many whose battle against cancer leaves them taking medication which has weight steadily increase.. wtf is anyone to state that is "wrong") | |
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| OK< a challenge on the weight thing....
Posted: 8/6/2006 4:51:02 AM | OP......your right but for me it isn't the look it's the additude.
Oh well i'm big and lets just accept that we are big and forget about healthy eating and living. That is what scares me....(the additude that got you there.)
If the person is heavy and focused on health then I have no problem with that but to simply accept and get even bigger......not for me.
I am tiny not by choise but by disease........I have to focus like hell on health and to be with someone who dosen't give a damn about there health is a total contradiction.
It's to hard to stuggel to common ground with someone never mind someone who dosen't care about themself enough to be realistic with there health and to have such a
complacent additude to your body.
It isn't the look dear.............it's the complacent additude about health.Period. | |
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| OK< a challenge on the weight thing....
Posted: 8/6/2006 7:03:39 PM | DeMattei - exactly! I have totally preconceived preferences, I know what I find attractive and what I don't. But I don't fool myself into thinking that looks are all that's important. I may approach a good looking guy (in my books good looking) and start talking to him. But if there's nothing there that keeps me attracted to his mind, it's over before it even started! Without the brains and wits to keep me on my toes and interested, I have no interest in good looks.
And yes, I have met a guy online who is exactly what I like in a man in his character (for as far as know him, it's still in the early stages). And even though he's gained some pounds (self-admitedly) since the picture he posted and he may not be a guy I would have approached if I'd met him before ever talking to him, he is totally a sexy guy because of his inner-self. If he'd approached me before we had ever talked, I would have talked back to him and likely discovered his confidence & crazy funny character quickly (it's hard to miss!) and kept on talking to him.
So to answer you question in short: I would always choose the guy with the character and inner-self that keeps me interested over the good looking one who's got peas for brains (or the guy who thinks he's soooo good looking he doesn't have to do anything else for a girl!). | |
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| OK< a challenge on the weight thing....
Posted: 8/16/2006 6:42:28 AM | Men can be liars too, you don't think that woman who carry abit of extra weight have the same problem? Most men like slim woman and wouldn't blink an eye at anyone over a size 8.
I don't consider it a game at all - that is totally the wrong attitude and you will never be happy. Why change yourself for someone else? You should only change for you.
I myself like all types of men and I do admitt that I feel less comfortable around slimmer men. And yes personality does come into play, would you date a slim woman if she was a b**ch? and a larger person if she was outgoing and friendly?
I am not trying to come across overly agressive but I think this subject will always be an ongoing issue everyone has their opions and preferences and hopefully you can find your mate without changing yourself
cheers
honeybee | |
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| OK< a challenge on the weight thing....
Posted: 8/18/2006 11:56:14 AM | I agree 100%. My ex would alway say things about what she wanted was on the 'inside' of man. Now she is 45 years old and though we broke up more than a year ago, we still talk, and I still keep getting my hopes up that we might reconcile. I always end up getting hurt though.
Last week she told me she went out to dinner with a hard bodied, 23 year old who just got out of the Marines. Yeah, she's looking on the 'inside' all right - the inside of his underwear! | |
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| OK< a challenge on the weight thing....
Posted: 9/8/2006 10:53:15 AM | | I have a really good friend who loves big cuddly men. I personally tend to like shorter leaner men. Why? Most likely a combination of past experience and the fact I know I feel better when I am carrying less weight on me! I want a man who can keep up in life and in bed. I also want someone who is happy with themselves. My problem with big men stems from my own problems with my weight. Believe me I struggle with my own hyprocritical views. | |
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| OK< a challenge on the weight thing....
Posted: 9/13/2006 10:19:29 AM | As with all things in life we all have our likes and dislikes and I guess weight is one of them.
I am a large man...period. Weight gained was due to a few things...medical and emotional...I'm not going to knock someone for their preferences is what attracts them...I can only offer my own thoughts and opinions for what they are worth.
I've dated women that could have been centerfolds and i've dated larger women too....common ground for them all was personality,they all had great ones. Although the physical "spark" is important I do believe that personality is a huge thing in the way we "view" people. I don't think a person should just write off someone because they don't fit their ideal of looks...I certainly try to discover a person's personality as well...perhaps i'm crazy?...jurys out on that still...lol.
The core of it all is whether you're fit,thin,large,small or anywhere in between...try not to pass someone by just because they don't fit the picture....no matter what your body make up.....we all crave someone to hold. Thanks for letting me ramble....hope some of this makes sense. | |
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| OK< a challenge on the weight thing....
Posted: 9/13/2006 7:21:44 PM | I AM A BIG GIRL TRUTH IS MOST MEN DONT LIKE IT
I HAVE BECOME SELF CONSCIENCE AT TIMES. SO I AM FEELING WHAT U HAVE TO SAY.
ME PERSONALLLY COULD NOT BE W A BIG MAN CAUSE ALL WE WOULD BE DOING IS BUMPING BELLIES lol | |
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| OK< a challenge on the weight thing....
Posted: 9/14/2006 5:51:18 AM | I'll tell you what lickul8tr, at least he has the balls to put a picture of HIMSELF on his profile!
With that stupid angel pic - I'm laughing at the "no pic no reply" on your profile !!!
Your case dismissed !!
Next. | |
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| OK< a challenge on the weight thing....
Posted: 9/14/2006 6:22:40 AM | | I read all the replies to this post. What puzzle me is that most women will claim that they don’t mind the extra weight ect. Yet, I’m 99% sure that the OP is still single and looking to this date! Sadly, I can only come to one conclusion. Hypocrites! That’s all most who posted on here are. Liars as well! Let’s face it for God’s sake. Unless you’re a 9 on the look scale, you’re doomed to be alone. That’s where it stops! I’ve never encounter so many shallow people in my entire life as I did since I first joined this site years ago. I wish I could see a site only dedicated to overweight people. Wouldn’t that be nice? They would all be equal and wouldn’t have to go trough so much rejection. Remember that I can call people on here hypocrites. The last person I was with was a size 22. She’s a wonderful person and not blinded by stupid prejudices unlike all the skinny idiots I dated before. | |
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| OK< a challenge on the weight thing....
Posted: 9/14/2006 6:22:55 AM | amen andy1961^^^^ I agree 110%
before you try to shoot down the capn' my pic is on my profile
fun me40 skinny idiots?? now yee be pissin' the capn' off it's the plank for yee
the capn' | |
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| OK< a challenge on the weight thing....
Posted: 9/14/2006 6:34:03 AM | | Sorry Capt, but here’s the situation. Women in their 30’s and 40’s who are still in decent physical shape represent a minority. It really seems to get to them to an extreme. They seem to believe that because they can still wear a bikini that they can afford to be so picky, only focus on physical appearance, well, combine with everything else such as personality and all. As a result they can’t find anyone. When they do, they come back and claim that they were played by ***holes. The thing they don’t get is that men who are very popular will also feel the same as they do and always look for better as well. As a result, they never gain anything but frustration. Their inability to think clear and use good judgement makes them idiots IMO. | |
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| OK< a challenge on the weight thing....
Posted: 9/14/2006 6:34:33 AM | You are complaining, yet you are looking for a THIN woman.....???? So what's up with that?
You can want thin but it's wrong for everyone else? Talk about double standards! | |
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| OK< a challenge on the weight thing....
Posted: 9/14/2006 6:43:49 AM | No matter how much we try to spin the truth or deny reality, being big slams a lot of doors shut before we ever get a chance to knock.
Being a heavyweight is by far the most difficult physical problem that exists. And I'm not talking about those of you carrying an extra 10 or 20 lbs. That's chump change and, though difficult, is not nearly the daunting task of dropping 100 or 200 lbs, like some of us need to.
And I'm no better than anyone else in this society. I don't want to date a big girl. Sorry, but the heart wants what the heart wants. So I understand those who don't want to get together with me. Life's not fair, yada yada...
Frankly, if God made the offer, I would trade this body off for a thin one that comes with cancer, aids, a raging cocaine/heroin/meth addiction and total drunken alcoholism. All those problems put together don't match up with being obese. Besides, the world actually gives a crap about people with cancer, aids, and addictions.
Yeah, yeah, I got a great personality, a good beat and I'm easy to dance to, but what good is that these days? | |
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| OK< a challenge on the weight thing....
Posted: 9/14/2006 6:52:33 AM | Well theace, it isn't easy for alot of us women to stay trim to look good-which seems to attract you...... so I guess we are looking for a man who cares enough about his own appearance to work on it as well.
I married a man who was built like a linebacker.....wasn't fat but was a big man. We both agreed when we got married that we didn't want to be married to people who didn't take care of themselves and was overweight. Amazing that once about 3 years went by how he started slacking and gaining weight, ended up about 30 lbs overweight. I kept my side of the deal - but what was so funny was how he would point out how....gee hon, looks like your thighs are getting a bit flabby. It was like Excuse me......have YOU looked in the mirror lately? Our marriage didn't end just because he became overweight, but I did resent it.
The point of this is very simple.......... you like trim, slender ladies but are asking "gee, how come they go for the thin ones".........duh - how come you're attracted to the thin ones.
It is true that it's not necessarily how the package is wrapped but what's inside, but how the package is wrapped DOES have alot to do with chemistry and attraction.
If it bothers you THAT much, then go to the gym and do something about it. Do you think us slimmer ladies don't work at it???? You are asking for US to not judge you by your size, but you're judging the ladies you can't get by that. Double standard there dude. | |
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| OK< a challenge on the weight thing....
Posted: 9/14/2006 7:11:13 AM | From a girls point of veiw - I cannot imagine dating a man smaller than myself - I would be scared of squashing him! Like wise although I am a heavy weight - there is a limit! I would hate to be squashed myself!
One man's meat is another man's poison! | |
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