| Brazillian (shaved)
Posted: 7/21/2006 9:03:32 AM | Well I guess it's my age but I just don't get this crap - why torture yourself - I trim and shave a bit, but leave a little to feel like a grown up - never had a complaint - ever!!!
No pain, looks fine and no complaints - it's all good!!! | |
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| Brazillian (shaved)
Posted: 7/21/2006 9:05:29 AM | I know this is long, but it's freakin hilarious...
All hair removal methods have tricked women with their promises
of easy, painless removal - The epilady, scissors, razors, Nair and now...the wax.
My night began as any other normal weeknight. Come home, fix dinner, play with the kids. I then had the thought that would ring painfully in my mind for the next few hours: "Maybe I should pull the waxing kit out of the medicine cabinet." So I headed to the
site of my demise: the bathroom. It was one of those "cold wax" kits. No melting
a clump of hot wax, you just rub the strips together in your hand, they get warm and you peel them apart and press them to your leg (or wherever else) and you pull the hair right off. No muss, no fuss. How hard can it be? I mean, I'm not a genius, but I am mechanically inclined enough to figure this out. (YA THINK!?!)
So I pull one of the thin strips out. Its two strips facing each other stuck together. Instead of rubbing them together, my genius kicks in so I get out the hair dryer and heat it to 1000 degrees. ("Cold wax,"yeah...right!) I lay the strip across my thigh. Hold the skin around it tight and pull. It works! OK, so it wasn't the best feeling, but it wasn't too bad. I can do this! Hair removal no longer eludes me!
I am She-rah, fighter of all wayward body hair and maker of smooth skin extraordinaire. With my next wax strip I move north. After checking on the kids, I sneak back into the bathroom, for the ultimate hair fighting championship. I drop my panties and place one foot on the toilet. Using the same procedure, I apply the wax strip across the right side of my bikini line, covering the right half of my crotch and stretching down to the inside of my butt cheek (Yes, it was a long strip) I inhale
deeply and brace myself....RRRRIIIPPP!!!! I'm blind!!! Blinded from pain!!!!....OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!! Vision returning, I notice that I've only managed to pull off half
the strip. stuff!!! Another deep breath and RRIIPP!! Everything is swirly
and spotted. I think I may pass out...must stay conscious...Do I hear crashing drums??? Breathe, breathe...OK, back to normal. I want to see my trophy - a wax covered strip, the one that has caused me so much pain, with my hairy pelt sticking to it. I want
to revel in the glory that is my triumph over body hair. I hold up the strip!
There's no hair on it. Where is the hair??? WHERE IS THE WAX???
Slowly I ease my head down, foot still perched on the toilet. I see the hair. The hair that should be on the strip. I touch. I am touching wax. stuff! I run my fingers over the most sensitive part of my body, which is now covered in cold wax and matted hair.
Then I make the next BIG mistake...remember my foot is still propped up on the toilet? I know I need to do something. So I put my foot down. darn!!!!!!!! I hear the slamming of a cell door. crotch? Sealed shut! Butt?? Sealed shut! I penguin walk around the bathroom trying to figure out what to do and think to myself "Please don't let me get the urge to poop. My head may pop off!" What can I do to melt the wax? Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!! I'll run the hottest water I can stand into the bathtub, get
in, immerse the wax-covered bits and the wax should melt and I can gently wipe it off, right??? *WRONG!!!!!!!*
I get in the tub - the water is slightly hotter than that used to torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment - I sit. Now, the only thing worse than having your nether regions glued together, is having them glued together and then glued to the bottom of
the tub...in scalding hot water. Which, by the way, doesn't melt cold wax. So, now
I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub as though I had cement-epoxied myself to the porcelain!! God bless the man who had convinced me a few months ago to have a phone put in the bathroom!!!!!
I call my friend, thinking surely she has waxed before and has some secret of how to get me undone. It's a very good conversation starter "So, my butt and who-ha are glued together to the bottom of the tub!"
There is a slight pause. She doesn't know any secret tricks for removal but she does try to hide her laughter from me. She wants to know exactly where the wax is located, "Are we talking cheeks or hole or who-ha?"
She's laughing out loud by now...I can hear her. I give her the rundown and she suggests I call the number on the side of the box. YEAH!!!!! Right!! I should be the joke of someone else's night. While we go through various solutions. I resort to scraping the wax off with a razor. Nothing feels better then to have your girlie goodies covered
in hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot water and then dry-shaving the sticky wax off!! By now the brain is not working, dignity has taken a major hike and I'm pretty sure I'm going to need Post-Traumatic Stress counseling for this event.
My friend is still talking with me when I finally see my saving grace....the lotion they give you to remove the excess wax. What do I really have to lose at this point? I rub some on and OH MY GOD!!!!!!! The scream probably woke the kids and scared the****ns out of my friend. It's sooo painful, l but I really don't care. "IT WORKS!! It works!!" I get a hearty congratulation from my friend and she hangs up.
I successfully remove the remainder of the wax and then notice to my grief and dispair....THE HAIR IS STILL THERE.......ALL OF IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So I recklessly shave it off. Heck, I'm numb by now. Nothing hurts. I could have amputated my own leg at this point.
Next week I'm going to try hair color..... | |
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| Brazillian (shaved)
Posted: 7/21/2006 9:32:52 AM | ^^^LMAO OMG the funniest thing I have read in the longest time!!!
& that my friends is why I do what I do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! | |
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| Brazillian (shaved)
Posted: 7/21/2006 9:36:56 AM | | tried the whole waxing brazilian thing, wax on and five mins later still couldnt get it off again and when the wax finaly came off only one measley little hair had as well ............ prefer the razor its less painful | |
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| Brazillian (shaved)
Posted: 7/22/2006 1:05:29 AM | conflicted-
Lasers for hair removal are only FDA-approved for permanent hair reduction at this point. The technology hasn't been in use long enough to study the long term effects, so laser companies cannot (legally) guarantee that removal will be truly permanent. | |
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| Brazillian (shaved)
Posted: 7/22/2006 2:24:11 PM | Three cheers to you ladies.
You are insane, but we love you for it! | |
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| Brazillian (shaved)
Posted: 7/22/2006 2:43:53 PM | So...I began with the brazillian....I was going to mexico last summer and thought hey, why not! Smooth and fancy free...and I loved it! Right after it happened I looked very raw...kind of swollen, but it really didn't hurt that bad. (Where I'm from...brazillian is leaving a strip of hair up the middle, but I've heard it's different in other places)...within a day or two I was back to normal, no bumps, no hair, just beautiful!
So I did that a few times....love love LOVED it....so I thought hey, if I love this, I'll love getting a french wax even more!!! (French here is everything gone. Every single little hair. All of it).
oh.
my.
god.
You ladies want to talk loss of dignity?? LoL having to spread yourself open while a stranger has her nose inches away from you, applying hot wax...blowing on it...ripping it off...that's only the start. The one time I was naieve enough to get a french, I had to get on to my tummy...and spread my ass cheeks .....I don't think I've ever felt so close to a person...
I don't even know how long it lasted for. I felt like passing out. I was sweating from the pain...biting my lip....but I perservered. I'd already started, I had to finish! | |
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| Brazillian (shaved)
Posted: 7/22/2006 4:28:39 PM | | i'll deal with the shaving,i'm already on a routine with that anyway. ouch to the wax! | |
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| Brazillian (shaved)
Posted: 7/22/2006 4:36:10 PM | | i dont understand the reason women want their p*ssy without hair anyway,,it is normal and sexy to me,,leave it alone,,hair is normal, and sexy... | |
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| Brazillian (shaved)
Posted: 7/22/2006 5:54:50 PM | | I totally agree, hair is normal...but I'm a lot more sensitive to...things...when I'm smooth. | |
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| Brazillian (shaved)
Posted: 7/22/2006 9:22:42 PM | | Shaved is always better, I don't like getting my teeth flossed when I'm preforming oral sex | |
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| Brazillian (shaved)
Posted: 7/22/2006 9:29:31 PM | I would kill for some hair...
Oh you mean down there
DK | |
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| Brazillian (shaved)
Posted: 7/22/2006 9:36:27 PM | where can I find a course of lessons about being a
brazilian technician? | |
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| Brazillian (shaved)
Posted: 7/22/2006 9:44:54 PM | LMFAO Felanie, your choice of words: yammer, foofer and trouser snake!! I'm dying here, can't stop laughing!
And no I wouldn't partake in this tortuous practice. Hell no! Shaving works just fine, TYVM! | |
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| Brazillian (shaved)
Posted: 7/22/2006 11:56:21 PM | | I don't understand why women go through so much pain, hassle, trouble, and expense,especially if they're single or if no man is "making them" do it. Its really not worth it. Even shaving everything completely off sounds scary enough. The whole brazilian waxing is so unnecessary....trying to look as smooth and bald as a little girl. And I'm sure the itching that occurs when it grows back is horrible. My husband never told me to shave it all off, only expects me to keep it neatly trimmed and of course shave the side area. My husband has no particular preference for his wife to look like a 9 year old girl. I'm sure women have started beleiving they need to go through all this trouble because of the "influences" of porn and strippers. I have no desire to look like a porn star or a stripper, personally. I will shave my legs, underarms and "bikini area" and thats it. All that pain, money and effort isn't worth it when keeping it neatly trimmed and groomed is good enough. | |
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| Brazillian (shaved)
Posted: 7/23/2006 12:12:31 AM | OMG Fry...that is too feckin funny!!!
No brazilian wax job for this girly...my woo woo is not good with pain...only pleasure!
I shave, and occasionally bikini wax, but damn that hurts enough....I can't imagine! | |
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| Brazillian (shaved)
Posted: 7/23/2006 2:00:16 AM | Shaved P^$$Y ROCKS!!!
Cotton Candy is nasty anyways... | |
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| Brazillian (shaved)
Posted: 7/23/2006 3:19:56 AM | | guitarman that was funny well I'm sorry but I am an old fashioned girl and don't like the shaven look especailly on men,it just don't look or feel right,saying that I am not very hairy anyway,I only have to shave my legs and armpits twice a year and that is only the odd hair here and there,so nope I will stick to the old fashioned values,sorry.xxx | |
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| Brazillian (shaved)
Posted: 7/23/2006 5:51:37 AM | | Thanks to Felanie I now have another euphimism for the girly bits. "Yammer" is the newest addition to my vocabulary | |
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| Brazillian (shaved)
Posted: 7/23/2006 11:04:13 AM | definately stick to the razor!!!!!!!!!......... | |
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| Brazillian (shaved)
Posted: 7/23/2006 11:17:24 AM | Oh, you definitely have to leave your modesty at the door if you are getting waxed. That first day is kinda Turkey day, but it's better the second day. Like many of the other posters have said, you do get used to it. Then you can't go without it.
But in your case, you must have some sort of Nazi esthetician. I cannot believe she told you to SHAVE the last few hairs off. It is her job to tweeze them. NEVER, NEVER, NEVER shave once you have been waxed. You must stick with one form of torture. | |
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| Brazillian (shaved)
Posted: 7/23/2006 12:41:15 PM | I've the Brazilian done once and it hurt like b*tch but the lady was excellent and it lasted quite a while. I think alot of it depends on the estitchan. I've heard some horrid stories lol.
I would definatly go back but only to her. In the mean time I stick to shaving.
And I'm pretty sure that the growth of the hair slows down after regular waxings. Just as it does on eyebrows. | |
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| Brazillian (shaved)
Posted: 7/23/2006 12:42:40 PM | LMFAO!!! I got ur story as a forward just the other day!!!
Hope ur better now... | |
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| Brazillian (shaved)
Posted: 7/23/2006 12:48:05 PM | I've never experienced the Brazillian experience... 
Sigh...
I feel that I've missed out on something.
Sigh... | |
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