| how do u handle being a virgin past 25
Posted: 8/23/2005 2:38:55 AM | I'm 27 and still a virgin.
Frankly, STD's scare the crap out of me.
A lot of the guys who came even close to doing the deed with me decided not to stick around. If all they wanted from me was to have sex, then they're not worth my time. And I'm glad I didn't lose my virginity over them.
I also don't want to get pregnant outside of wedlock. I don't want to be a single mother, and no form of protection is 100%.
People ask what's wrong with me for being a virgin at my age. Nothing. I'm happy and lead a full life. What does sex have to do with anything? | |
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| how do u handle being a virgin past 25
Posted: 8/24/2005 9:07:32 AM | Well, I'm 32 and still a virgin. Actually its nice to know I'm not completely alone in this situation.
I have no religious convictions about pre-marital sex and I'd sure like to have sex but it just hasn't happened for me.
The first few times I tried to put a "move" on girls in high school it ended disastrously (probably because I tended to be drunk before I had the courage to do anything). After that, I was gun-shy and as time grew the pressure kept building and it was harder and harder to just relax and let things develop naturally. I think women could sense my desperation and frankly what's less attractive than desperation?
Complicating things was the fact that I have been ovewrweight practically all my adult life. I was pretty ashamed about that and preferred to keep my clothes on (even though I realize rationally that everyone can see I'm overweight regardless of whether my clothes are on or off, but then there's nothing really rational about sex is there?)
Anyway, I've recently lost 80 pounds (and still going! yay me!) and now the possibility of sex seems miraculously more real. I still don't have a girlfriend yet but have a lot more confidence in my step now. I can maybe see it happening in the next little while. I have been tempted from time to time to use an escort just to get it over with and maybe to learn a few things so I wouldn't be so awful when I met a girl I really cared about but...I don't know...I figure probably the only good thing about being a virgin is that I don't have an STD and it would be kind of stupid to blow that...plus I've waited so long now that- what the hell - it won't kill me to wait a bit longer.
Couple of questions for people...
1. Should I tell the woman beforehand?
2. If you were in my situation would you use an escort?
3. Any tips on doing it for the first time? Lights on or off? Should i try pleasing her first? Any advice would be appreciated.
I'm probably crazy for posting this but I'm trying to get over the shame about my sitaution and I figure talking about it might help.
If you happen to know me in real life please keep this discreet. Thanks! | |
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| how do u handle being a virgin past 25
Posted: 8/24/2005 9:35:28 AM | ^^^^^
Read my post on page 3 of this thread, if you just learn how to make a woman feel incredible pleasure...she won't give a damn that you're a virgin....no escorts now...paying for sex is one of the worst things you can do....
Yes...pleasure her first.....
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| how do u handle being a virgin past 25
Posted: 8/24/2005 11:26:52 AM | | Kid congrats on losing the weight. Most women that I've talked to say that weight doesn't have as much to do with attraction as confidence unless you're truly obese. Don't use an escort service (hooker). I think it's fine to tell a woman that you're a virgin... if she's a good one she'll be willing to work with you. Bright lights might make her uncomfortable but girls love candles. Buy lots of candles. The most important thing is going to be communication. She will probably be nervous too so lots of honest communication will pave the way for trust. Be careful about listening to guys who say they know exactly how to please a woman... what feels good to one may be irritating to another. So talk to her about likes and dislikes. And most of all HAVE FUN! | |
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| how do u handle being a virgin past 25
Posted: 8/24/2005 11:45:11 AM | Thanks for the feedback
I understand that for many women weight isn't too much of an issue. in fact, I've met more than a few men who were as heavy or heavier than me at my biggest who seemed to have no problem with the ladies. But the problem wasn't finding women who had no issue with it. The problem was that I had an issue with it.
You know of course there's a catch-22 about confidence. Until you've been with a woman you're not likely to have much confidence and without confidence you can't attract women! Oh well, at this point I'm hoping that utter guilelessness might come off as confidence *lol*
Any ladies here have thoughts on this? Paulchino says I should keep this information to myself if I start dating someone. Do you agree? Would you have a tendancy to view someone my age who's still a virgin as "damaged"? Be honest. I can take it. | |
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| how do u handle being a virgin past 25
Posted: 8/24/2005 1:16:33 PM | I don't have a problem with being a virgin at 25 I know of a few girls who were. Nothing wrong with it.
Congrats Kid on losing the weight.
I really don't care for sex with strangers I think it's more enjoyible with someone you know. | |
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| how do u handle being a virgin past 25
Posted: 8/24/2005 1:40:23 PM | if it wasent for Cynthia I'd be a virgin.
sometimes I wish I was, but I think I learned an importatn lesson.
hummmmm...
how about watching that movie the 40 year old virgin? I assume it has a happy ending, so do whatever he does to get laid, LOL!  | |
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| how do u handle being a virgin past 25
Posted: 8/25/2005 8:56:23 AM | Yeah I did see it. Very funny movie. And actually the message was kind of encouraging since it suggests that a 40-year old virgin is no more screwed up than your average man when it comes to women (all his "normal" friends had their own issues with the opposite gender)
I think you could argue the movie was a little misogynistic though since the men in the movie acted horrified by a horny woman (the young blonde girl). I guess it screwed up their conception of the universe that a woman could want sex as bad as a man. | |
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| how do u handle being a virgin past 25
Posted: 8/25/2005 11:02:03 AM | | I have alot of respect for those people that are virgins. that tells me they hac=vve respect not to get a hooker or wait ffor the right person. I am not a virgin myself & I wasnt at the age of 15. But THAT was not by choice. :-( | |
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kmhstx
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Joined: 8/23/2005
Msg: 88 | |
| how do u handle being a virgin past 25
Posted: 8/26/2005 2:02:12 PM | okay although I havent read everone's entry...and the fact that I'm contributing to this thread is going to f**K any chance of me finding a man..because its linked to my profile. I feel the need to say something. I am a 28 year old virgin..and its very very frustrating hehe...(I can take care of my self, thank you very much)! I didn't intend to end up this way...I'm not waiting for marriage..and its NOT because I haven't had the oppertunity!!!!!
I just wish that I could find someone who didn't either run a mile when I bring the topic up....or look so eager to "pop my cherry" ( I HATE THAT EXPRESSION) that they nearly fall over. Is there someone out there who can wait for me to have feelings for them...maybe not true love but atleast respect..enough that they get to know me! Anyway.. why I just wrote all this I don't know but I feel that at this point I want to have some one worth the wait..thats all! | |
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| how do u handle being a virgin past 25
Posted: 8/26/2005 2:14:51 PM | How hard are you looking?
Sometimes I feel like adopting a "woe is me" position with regards to my sitauation, but, in truth, I don't take many chances with people. It's pretty rare that I'll approach a woman and ask her out on a date.
Maybe you have the same problem?
All I can tell you is that your being a virgin at 28 wouldn't horrify me. At the same time I wouldn't be obsessed with "deflowering" you. Maybe I'm an exception and maybe I'm not. There's lots of different types of guys out there.
Anyway, good luck. | |
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| how do u handle being a virgin past 25
Posted: 8/26/2005 2:21:40 PM | | Here's an idea....all you "not-gettin'-any-younger" virgins in here should host a great big party where you each get tested for diseases and such at the door, have a big huge orgy and no one walks out with their virginity in tact. Then you can step up and join the human race and get on with finding the person of your dreams because you aren't doing yourself or anyone else any favours. I'm pretty sure your god isn't all that pleased with you either since he did order you to "go forth and multiply" didn't he? Get with the program, your lives are wasting away.....you are seriously missing out on one of the most enjoyable aspects of being alive....if you could talk to the dead, I'm sure they would agree with me. | |
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| how do u handle being a virgin past 25
Posted: 8/26/2005 2:38:54 PM | Well it appears as though you are behaving like BOTH. Flaming people is against the rules in here and will get you banned.
Furthermore, if you weren't such a potty-mouth, girls might let you kiss them. I'm sorry you are so pent up and frustrated with life but I guess that would make sense....amazing why women aren't beating a path to your door? It just doesn't make any sense? | |
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| how do u handle being a virgin past 25
Posted: 8/26/2005 2:42:55 PM | | I take back what I said. You obviously have really amazing insight into character. You really go beyond the stereotypes genius. | |
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| how do u handle being a virgin past 25
Posted: 8/26/2005 2:45:30 PM | | Yeah, well you know how bullies work. They're real good at slamming other people but don't like it so much when someone slams them back. | |
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kmhstx
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Joined: 8/23/2005
Msg: 96 | |
| how do u handle being a virgin past 25
Posted: 8/26/2005 2:48:06 PM | t,d and h...well although the idea of an orgy has its appeal..not!
I just want to know that I am not in anyway still a virgin because of GOD, I'm really not at all religous..I just have morals..no better or worse than yours...I don't judge nonvirgins. And one day soon. I will probably just go out and get laid or join the rest of humanity as you like to phrase it...I'm just get alittle sad that that moment might not mean anything to the person i loose it to. And thank you Ikidunot..congrats on the weight loss...believe me i know that struggle too. | |
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| how do u handle being a virgin past 25
Posted: 8/26/2005 5:40:21 PM |
And one day soon. I will probably just go out and get laid or join the rest of humanity as you like to phrase it...I'm just get alittle sad that that moment might not mean anything to the person i loose it to.
That would be a shame. You've waited this long, might as well make it special. | |
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| how do u handle being a virgin past 25
Posted: 8/26/2005 9:50:57 PM | | I know a gal who is still a virgin and she's 28. We are great friends, we've done a lot with eachother, but she just won't go all the way because she's "reserved". Her friends and our families want us to be together...but she's "shy". After doing as much as we've done to eachother, she's starting to make me believe that she's a****tease! Bugs the hell outta me, I've been holding out, but I'm going to go with another gal soon because she can make up her mind. Heck, if he or she wants to wait until they're married then ya gotta respect that, but having a partner that'll wait is hard to find. | |
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| how do u handle being a virgin past 25
Posted: 8/26/2005 9:56:56 PM | | It's amazing how everyone says they respect a guy for being a virgin because he's a nice guy and respects women, but they're the same ones that won't date him because "he's too good for them". Before I lost my virginity a lot of women would say how great of a guy I was, but they wouldn't want to be the one to break it because they respect me so much. Surprisingly, after I lost my virginity, I slept with all of them....kinda funny how they changed the attitude after the fact. | |
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kmhstx
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Joined: 8/23/2005
Msg: 100 | |
| how do u handle being a virgin past 25
Posted: 8/27/2005 3:37:54 PM | | well I think I'm pretty much here for the forums now...I knew I should not have posted on this thread but I opened my big mouth lol. Last night I was supposed to go out with a guy from here..and to say the least I was pretty excited..as I found him pretty cute...and he had a sexy voice...and he thought I was cute..lol at least he said he did...anyway we flirted yes...nothing wrong with that...I never said I would be having sex with him though..he's on here for dating..not intimate incounters..making out..is still making out right! Anyway I unfortunately put my first post on this tread b4 the date nite...well stupid me...because its attached to my profile..maybe he looked again and saw because he didn't call me and he has been ignoring me on msn since...This is the frustrating thing about this virginity thing...when do you bring it up in a conversation.GOD, and how am I ever going to loose it if as soon as someone finds out they take off for more experienced pastures....maybe I should become a nun haha...not. | |
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