| Why Is It Women Don't Seem To Know How To ROMANCE A Man?
Posted: 9/30/2007 5:33:23 PM | | Honestly...I couldn't tell ya. I've tried to do romantic things for guys before, it just never seems to be their thing...I'm also great at buying gifts for anyone and everyone except the guy I'm involved with...I think maybe it's because I feel so awkward at it, I actually end up BEING awkward at it. | |
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| Why Is It Women Don't Seem To Know How To ROMANCE A Man?
Posted: 9/30/2007 5:51:18 PM |
Show him a good time every once in awhile, add that spice, give him an exotic dance, walk around the house in a french maid outfit with no panties, initiate the love making outside on the beach, or in the park, make us feel like we are the most special man in your life, and we will be better men for you! SandraLee you are going to change our lives. Keep up the great forums!  OMG, lol....I guess if you are a sexy person that would be ok....but a plain-jane like me....I'd feel like a troll in a tutu doin' somethin like that....and besides, it's easier to be spontaneous when you don't have kids around all the time. When my ex and I first married, it was bad enough trying to find time for sex much less intimate moments (which are two seperate things to me) because my son only slept 2 hrs at a time(health issues) and my husband worked third shift. So he was only available for certain hrs during the day, and my son wasn't school age at the time, therefore up and going strong. No money for sitters, no family or friends to help....kinda put a damper on having those special moments for either one of us. I tried at times, but he always acted disinterested, so I stopped. Come to think of it, could be one of the many factors in why things didn't work out with us. | |
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| Why Is It Women Don't Seem To Know How To ROMANCE A Man?
Posted: 9/30/2007 8:54:08 PM | I used to think that the non-monetary little things would be romantic. Like drawing a heart with my initial in it on his car mirror after a really hard day of work to let him know I was thinking about him, home cooked meals, back rubs, sexy lingerie, bragging to friends about him, exciting sex in out of the way places, candles blah blah blah. Only to find out that the guy could/would never reciprocate the affection. His view was that I was only trying to whip him, because women are only objects to posess and control. After 6 months of that crap, I called it quits. When I did call it quits, the guy went out of his way to do as much damage to me as possible. He spent as much time as I did to be romantic on hurting me after it was over.
After experiences like that, it's hard to DO it again, only to hear from guys "what do you want?" What are you supposed to say to that? Affection, Respect, Trust, and Reciprocation, and no you can't buy those at the mall. haha
I am keeping my eyes open, and my hopes still float. | |
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| Why Is It Women Don't Seem To Know How To ROMANCE A Man?
Posted: 10/18/2007 7:25:04 AM | The women that are worth it! Do romance men. Those that feel its just the mans job to do it. Are actualy missing out! When you romance a man you can bring out the best in him and when he realizes you want to romance him he knows he has a great catch and the cards show it.
Seems to me Valentines day is only for the ladies when it comes to Chocolate hearts and flowers and the real gift!
So when and if you do have someone in your life ladies show him he is worth it.
I am so sure many do! | |
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| Why Is It Women Don't Seem To Know How To ROMANCE A Man?
Posted: 10/18/2007 8:06:18 AM | I said to my boyfriend at the time, why don't you come over - we'll have some wine, soft music, candles and a nice soak in the tub where we can just be together ..
his response: oh your the hopeless romantic type huh
there was silence my end..
then he said ok ok, what kind of wine.
i gave up. | |
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| Why Is It Women Don't Seem To Know How To ROMANCE A Man?
Posted: 10/18/2007 9:02:31 AM | Remember, What some guys, who still think w/ their smaller heads for sex before having a clue for romance, doesn't matter. For me, the giving feels better than the getting sometimes so I 'know' how you feel for that, but's it's in how my romantic gesture is received.
Something sweet and romantic for your guy makes sense unless they're 'diabetic' due to what other women before you have taught them for your sweet gesture(s) being genuinely romantic before it might seem like one step in your seduction of them. | |
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| Why Is It Women Don't Seem To Know How To ROMANCE A Man?
Posted: 10/18/2007 10:57:35 AM | > Why Is It Women Don't Seem To Know How To ROMANCE A Man?
Because so many have been convinced that they don't have to. I think it has something to do with all the propaganda they're constantly being fed about how men are nothing but sex-crazed beasts, which implies all the woman has to do is show a little skin, or maybe just be breathing.
Men are more romantic than women to begin with, so this gives them the excuse to not worry about romance or seduction. That's my theory. Women will do anything but give up their Cinderella Complexes, and they'll believe just about anything which confirms that they're right hanging onto it. | |
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Deni30
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Joined: 5/29/2007
Msg: 357 | |
| Why Is It Women Don't Seem To Know How To ROMANCE A Man?
Posted: 10/19/2007 11:33:10 PM | Seeing someone new- trying to be sweet and romantic without going overboard ;) The key- I believe is in finding out what he wants and giving it to him. Men and women and hell individuals period are so very different and want/don't want specific things. I try to do small things that I KNOW he appreciates, and if they are a little bigger I make then seem like no big deal.....
I tried to pay for coffee lol?
I pretended to just so happen to make an apple pie from scratch (ala Sara Lee ty very much !)
I send him a text every few days telling him I’m thinking of him and sexy or funny pics of me to his cell every now and then.
I make sure to tell him I think he’s hot and I want him ;)
After hearing him mention that no one is helping him renovate his house I just offered to come help him paint tomorrow night- I think I’ll bring dinner (Take out chinese?)and wine (his fav kind- which he doesn’t realize I know and I‘ll play dumb lol) and although I fully plan on actually helping, I also plan on at some point getting down to my skivvies while his back is turned ;) SURPRISE!
I plan on inviting him over and making him dinner :)
In a few weeks I am going to suggest(plant the seed not actually ask lol) a little road trip to Canada or the mountains overnight or the weekend- this guy is seriously overworked and needs a sexy/fun/relaxing lil vaca.!
Finesse people! ;)
The behind the scenes stuff he doesn’t realize is that I am trying very hard to give him his manly space, I am carefully navigating his distrusting heart and I am understanding and patient beyond my usual.
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| Why Is It Women Don't Seem To Know How To ROMANCE A Man?
Posted: 10/20/2007 12:45:50 AM | Okay maybe i have posted this before I don't know - so here it is again
Okay time for another boring long winded story of mine from my travels around the globe
So any way I was in Ukraine in Odessa and I was buying a kebab for lunch from a Syrian guy that had a small kiosk there making them -- his English was good so we were talking about a few things and I made mention how attractive Ukrainian women are, somehow we got on to the subject of who is more romantic men or women ( this does have to do with generalizations because women believe they are the more romantic ones)
He said to me -- men are more romantic
I said - no way mate the women are -- all the love notes / poems flowers etc etc etc
He said to me -- bah that is nothing - they think this is something but is not.
Men have gone to war for romance -- think Helen of Troy who's face launched a thousand ships. He also then said -- think when you speak with a friend who has met a new woman he cares about and wants this women how does he talk
I said I am not sure - its been a while since that happened to me or a friend
He said - your friend will be obsessed by this woman , he will think of her night and day, he will say things like
"i met a woman she is fantastic - she is everything I want - I must be with this woman -- I do not know what I will do If I can not be with her - I will loose my house my money and everything I have for I will loose my mind if I can not have her - i will become a derelict alcoholic if she does not feel the same for me "
He then said "My Australian friend this is true romance when this man knows he could lose everything and no longer be a man because this woman is so much meaning to him"
I thought for a moment and said
"Yes you are correct men are more romantic --
because a woman only feels this same way about a pair of designer shoes."
I have met some smart men in my travels around the globe.
Seriously though -- I don't know many guys that would want to be romanced , but I know a hell of a lot of them that only would like a kind word in appreciation for what they do for their wife and family -- sadly they never receive this simple acknowledgment | |
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vosche
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Joined: 1/6/2007
Msg: 360 | |
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| Why Is It Women Don't Seem To Know How To ROMANCE A Man?
Posted: 10/20/2007 5:22:18 AM | While unfortunately for me I haven't had much opportunity to give or receive, but I think the main ingredient to romance anyone is just to show that you are thinking and showing that you care about the other person. The rest, the extras if you will would just reinforce those feelings and should/would be based on the persons interests/hobbies and/or needs when you feel that you want/need to show that person some affection.
I do think that true romancing has become a lost art of sorts and in some cases becomes an expectation. | |
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| Why Is It Women Don't Seem To Know How To ROMANCE A Man?
Posted: 10/20/2007 5:37:30 AM | | I think the most romantic thing you can do for a man is to give him what HE needs. Stroke his ego when he needs it, stroke his body when he needs it, give him space when he needs it, listen to him when he needs it, support him when he needs it, let him do it on his own when he needs to. Buying flowers and chocolates may be a girls idea of romantic but I don't think a man has the same romantic needs as a woman. | |
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| Why Is It Women Don't Seem To Know How To ROMANCE A Man?
Posted: 10/20/2007 5:45:00 AM | People get major points for feeding me. I use food to show affection, and I feel affection when I'm fed. Buying/making me dinner wins huge points.
Also, rubbing my shoulders wins huge points. Ever since I had that temp job lifting wine boxes my shoulders have been all messed up.
Any sort of random present is nice. I buy candy and flowers for people that I'm trying to woo-- I don't expect anything in return, but when it does happen I'm generally caught off guard and get all excited... even by super tiny things.
Also, reading together can be fun. The first time I read "Pride and Prejudice" it was with a S/O... we took turns reading, and I spent a lot of time going "what a ****/**stard!" I get really into books. | |
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Rhett1
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Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 364 | |
| Why Is It Women Don't Seem To Know How To ROMANCE A Man?
Posted: 10/20/2007 7:45:13 AM | OP: Women are under the impression that it's only the man's job to do the "wooing". Many women don't think they should have to do anything romantic, because, well, they're the woman.
I used to pour my ex a bubble bath (he would HATE if I told people he knew about that...lol!) , get him a rye and Coke, and let him relax. I'd wash his back for him, then he'd get a massage.
I'd cook him his favorite meal.
I gave him flowers once, but he didn't appreciate them, which I understand, flowers are more of a woman thing.
Another time, I booked an expensive hotel room for the two of us and we spent two days there without leaving...
I told him that it was no holds barred...he could do, have, order anything he wanted (except a hooker!). | |
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| Why Is It Women Don't Seem To Know How To ROMANCE A Man?
Posted: 10/20/2007 8:06:52 AM | I very much appreciate romance from a woman to me. Simple things that would mean a lot to me.
Just to name a few things that are romantic things a woman could do for me.
1. Bake me peanut butter cookies. Means a lot to me, they are my favorite! What means even more is you took the time to make them and that effort is greatly appreciated by me.
2. Give me roses. I'm sure many guys may not feel flowers given to them is romantic however I like to give and get roses. They are my favorite flower.
3. Send me text messeges through out my day to say you think I'm sexy and you miss me. Feels so nice to know that even if your not together through out the day, the other person took that moment to let me know they are thinking of me.
4. Let me do things that make you happy. When I do those things, rave about how wonderful I made you feel and that you appreciate me.
5. Walk up to me and just give me a big hug and a quick smooch and tell me how much you love me.
From this guy, romance to me is not about spending money on me or anything to fancy on the surface. It's the effort and the small things that really do mean the most. | |
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| Why Is It Women Don't Seem To Know How To ROMANCE A Man?
Posted: 10/20/2007 8:12:24 AM | | I find men kind of oblivious to when they are being romanced - you practically have to hit them over the head with a hammer, and I don't have the nerve to really "go for it". It takes me out of my comfort zone. On a subconscious level he's probably getting it though. | |
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| Why Is It Women Don't Seem To Know How To ROMANCE A Man?
Posted: 10/20/2007 9:58:06 AM | One thing that really turns me on is romancing my man. As a woman though you have to be careful. Lots of men don't seem to like it. Ok, maybe that's a bit too general, but it can really be tough.
I really tried to romance the last man I dated, but he was such a closed book I never knew weather it was what he wanted or not. When I would ask him what he liked I always got,"I like mystery". After a few of these answers I felt like I was stumbling around in the dark with a man who wanted a mind reader. "I like mystery" started to sound like "let's see if you can figure it out with no guidance from me". So I stopped asking and tried to pay even more attention to his reactions. Didn't work and since I never got any feedback I did things he didn't perceive as romantic more than once because I thought he did. The relationship turned out to be more work than it was worth.
I love romance, and if there is one thing I love it's doing the little things that make my partner happy, as long as I can figure out what they are. (Figuring out what makes him happy in the bedroom isn't too tough, I mean outside of the bedroom.)
I served my ex husband his favorite dinner, Lobster, in a bubblebath by candle light one evening after he'd had a particularly tough work week. And made a fool out of myself singing him a love song that he particularly liked in a bar one evning. He really liked the singing because I NEVER get up and sing in public. I can't sing worth a dang. But just the idea that I would do that for him made him very happy.
Of course there are lots of little things if he is receptive, such as notes, telling him how much I appreciate him , or that I love him (when he's just come in from working all day and he is still dirty and stinky) etc.
Now you all know how dorky I can be...
The problem is, a woman has to be very careful, because it can be very tough to figure out what your man percieves as romantic when it's directed at him. And if you get it wrong many are unlikely to tell you and you just make the same mistake again or worse. | |
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| Why Is It Women Don't Seem To Know How To ROMANCE A Man?
Posted: 10/20/2007 10:22:12 AM | | Well, this is my story. I was seeing this guy who lived about 3 hrs away. I was going to visit him for the weekend and decided to give him a surprise. So I drove the 3 hrs with nothing on but a leather trench coat and thigh high boots. He seemed to think that was a great romantic gesture. Atlthough it was kind of hard when I had to stop because the coat only had like 5 buttons and the wind was tremendous that day. I am sure the truckers were surprised too. What do you guys think is that romantic enough? | |
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| Why Is It Women Don't Seem To Know How To ROMANCE A Man?
Posted: 1/14/2008 3:59:27 PM | thats sad i always do things to romance my partner its important just like how us girls like it. even if its a little note hidden for them to find suddenly or a box of chocolates wrapped up saying i love you etc it doesnt have to be big things all of the time little things count too sometimes more cus they are more from the heart.
girls need to realise guys need romance too even if not all guys like to show it!!
Donna
xxxxx | |
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| Why Is It Women Don't Seem To Know How To ROMANCE A Man?
Posted: 1/14/2008 4:20:37 PM | i think romance should be a regular part of a love-life...to me it's letting the person know they're treasured, someone special...it's an individual thing, some people like some things, some people like others.. it's about finding out what they like and doing them, those things that show i've thought of him in particular.....
anything from massages when he's weary, to buying him tickets for he and his friends to go to an event they'd enjoy... or maybe even leaving him notes and messages all day about what i want to do to/with him when he gets home and giving him a night of passion and love, without his having to do anything, except enjoy it...
all about what he'd find romantic and how best he'd feel loved..
things to show we understand that person and love who they are, for who they are..
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| Why Is It Women Don't Seem To Know How To ROMANCE A Man?
Posted: 1/14/2008 5:16:08 PM | well, i do, but they don't seem to appreciate it all that much. i love to do things for someone that i love. i am not kidding! i like to leave little funny notes on the bathroom mirror, bad poems in thier shoes or something. i also love to do things like clean his apartment or kitchen unexpectedly. really, there isn't much i wouldn't be willing to do for someone that i truly loved, but it HAS to be a give and take.
in truth, i have found that men do not know how to court women, and expect us to not only do all the work, but chase them down too! i just can't do it. i was born in an era where roles were a little more defined, and i have to say, being naturally shy i could never hit on a man or make a pass at him without looking like a complete idiot. lol!
lar | |
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