| Why Is It Women Don't Seem To Know How To ROMANCE A Man?
Posted: 8/4/2009 4:54:40 PM | In my experience, guys just really don't care about romantic gestures.
They just want sex. Or possibly to be let off the hook for taking out the garbage or some other chore once in a while. And that's fine, that's guys!
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| Why Is It Women Don't Seem To Know How To ROMANCE A Man?
Posted: 8/4/2009 5:32:51 PM | | Different people have different ideas of romance. There is a book about the 5 different love languages. Some want to hear verbal praise, some want something special done like baking their favorite pie, some want to hold hands and cuddle, and some want to be surprised with tickets to their favorite sporting event. They all want good sex. The problem is when I think what he wants is gifts or me to do something for him when what he wants is to hear how I appreciate him. This is why two way communication should come before romance. | |
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| Why Is It Women Don't Seem To Know How To ROMANCE A Man?
Posted: 8/4/2009 5:59:31 PM | Love languages helps many people but it's still stuck on you being where you're at instead of moving into love.
To the poster two above, if you're meeting men who all want the same thing, your "pciker" is broken. It's not that you can't have your cake and eat it too, but you're missing the warning signs ahead of time. Start looking for men who don't believe sex is all there is. Yep, it's great and the best, but does not belong in a non-comitted relationship and held as something very dear until after marriage. If its that great, then shouldn't it be saved and expressed in very joyous ways? If it's that mundane, then gee whiz, treat it as mundane as it is. It's your body, health, and atitude. Do you not believe you're more precious than someone's play thing? It doesn't take being a prude to be respectful of one self. In fact, if the man was respectful of himself, he would extend that respect to you. Respect or any other normal nature is not restricted to certain persons, it's exntended to all. Either you have respect and are respectful or you're not. Either you're compassionate to all or you're not compassionate. If a person picks and chooses who to act towards, they are not that particulare attributte. They are only acting. Love is extended to all. Respect is extended to all.
You get the drift. | |
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Sinnn
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Joined: 7/17/2009
Msg: 381 | |
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| Why Is It Women Don't Seem To Know How To ROMANCE A Man?
Posted: 8/4/2009 7:33:04 PM | [ quote] This really irrtitates me.....women expect us to give up,but they don't even make an effort. I expect flowers, a nice dinner,may be a movie .Is that too much to ask?
Instead of flowers, I gave a man a Danielle Steel 's romance pocket book to read.
Nice dinner ?, I 'll get Ceasar's 5 bucks big peperone pizza .
I'll rent a video or cd of Stephen King's Horror movie ,if he got scared of the black widow spider on the screen and he'll hug me and burried his face in my 30 grand silicon bossoms ,he he ,he I'll say that is soooooooo romantic.  | |
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| Why Is It Women Don't Seem To Know How To ROMANCE A Man?
Posted: 8/4/2009 7:40:02 PM | | very few have been romantic with me....it seems soceity promotes this me, me, me, me thingy as of late. Alot of women have been put on a pedestal..and as far back as childhood with 'daddy's girl'..so their expectations are very high, yet they don't reciprocate or even know how to.Even in the early stages of dating, very few have taken the initiative and been spontaneously romantic. | |
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| Why Is It Women Don't Seem To Know How To ROMANCE A Man?
Posted: 8/4/2009 8:15:50 PM | When my ex and I were in the early stages of dating I used to do little romantic things. When we got married I still did them. Once our children came along I was too tired and besides he didn't initiate anything except for sex...............LOL.
So it would be really nice to meet someone, this time around, who did romantic little things for me..............but I'll dream on  | |
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| Why Is It Women Don't Seem To Know How To ROMANCE A Man?
Posted: 8/4/2009 8:24:53 PM | Of course I romance my the guy I am involved with. But you can't be so quick to show a guy anything too special because then he thinks you are trying to trap him in some kind of love...deal. The same goes for me. If a guy truly wants to romance me then he needs to know me and know who I am and what I like.
If he comes on to strong in the beginning I am liable to freak out. Chivelry yes, but if it borders on schmoozing to get me in bed...he has lost me.
I keep it to a minimum until I know he cares for me and it is returned. | |
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| Why Is It Women Don't Seem To Know How To ROMANCE A Man?
Posted: 8/4/2009 8:52:43 PM | Yes, that is a tricky topic. My guy was a science teacher, and believed that romance was an artificial, phony sentiment. Yet he often liked to surprise me by taking me someplace special (like a location here on Vancouver Island we hadn't explored yet).
I realized early on that, unless it is a warped expression, one should accept love in the form your partner is comfortable giving it, and reciprocate in ways he or she is comfortable receiving it. So, that's what I did.
Now, though, I need to learn how to be romantic to at least some extent, in case the fella who becomes my boyfriend and hopefully life mate appreciates romance. So I've been reading this Thread with great interest. Thanks, Sandy, for posting it, and thanks, folks, for adding your input. | |
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| Why Is It Women Don't Seem To Know How To ROMANCE A Man?
Posted: 8/4/2009 8:52:50 PM | To me romance is about doing and saying little things that are above and beyond the necessities to keep the relationship going. Little things to show the other that you are/have been thinking about the other or that they're on your mind.
So, within that framework it can take on any kind of shape: sending a funny hallmark card via email - being in a fancy restaurant, going to the bathroom, taking off your panties and when you sit down, giving them to him under the table - cooking a favorite meal....basically anything that tells the other person that you're thinking of them. | |
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*Aris*
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Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 389 | |
| Why Is It Women Don't Seem To Know How To ROMANCE A Man?
Posted: 8/4/2009 10:17:43 PM | Since I'm a romantic idealist, the women's gesture has to be explosive, almost epic, otherwise I'll hardly notice - she'll seem like a dud going puff. I consider romance to be caring, but caring on an extrordinary level, that goes beyond recognition. As far as reducing stress with little perks, I can give that treatment to myself. I get insulted when I feel like I'm being babied.
**I'm stating my view on romance and not trying to offend or be controversial to anyone in particular, so please excuse the difference.**
When it comes to romance, in a werid way, I like for there to acts of betrayal, lies, deceit, hurt, doubt, but we both remain faithful. I like a woman who is challenging because I'm a man who is hard to please. To me romantic means fighting, basically you find out what really matters to them and the rest is fair game to bash their ego without actually breaking their heart. | |
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| Why Is It Women Don't Seem To Know How To ROMANCE A Man?
Posted: 9/19/2009 4:26:34 PM | So its agreed. Women never put an equal amount of effort because women who claim to understand men say we don't need as much.
Well since you think men don't need it maybe we should stop doing any romancing too. | |
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| Why Is It Women Don't Seem To Know How To ROMANCE A Man?
Posted: 9/19/2009 11:03:20 PM | | When I was 16 I found this cute little rock from a river bed in New Zealand. I brought it with me to Australia. 14 years later I met dated this guy for a couple of months, he bought red roses for my 30th and I gave him this precious rock and guesswhat, he probably thought I am cheap cos nothing came out of that relationship after that. Hahaha. I thought it was romantic and different LOL | |
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| Why Is It Women Don't Seem To Know How To ROMANCE A Man?
Posted: 9/20/2009 6:07:16 AM | Most men I have dated haven't given me a reason to be romantic, and when I was romantic my efforts were all in vain. They were not appreciated at all.
There has only been one man in my life to ever do anything romantic for me. It was a nice summer day, we went down to his fathers cabin, it was beside a lake, and we spent the afternoon there walking along the water, finding starfish and nice little sea shells. I wont ever forget that day. However, that was the only time he ever did anything for me without the expectation of sex afterwards. I would do lots of little nice things for him, sending him notes, always making sure his favorite snacks, drinks etc. were well stocked when he came over, told him how great I thought he was, told him I loved him all the time. Told him to go out and have boys night. I went out and bought lingerie, took pictures and sent them to him. He said "why did you bother with that, id rather just see you naked", and something along the lines of how it wasn't something he would have picked. That one really hurt. I would buy him little things that I knew he liked just to surprise him. I would go with him to his shop when he was working on his 4 wheeler, truck etc. and pay attention and tried to learn about those types of things because I knew he was really into them and loved to talk about them....I did many other things for him but they were not appreciated.
Other men, didn't do squat for me. Why should I put forth so much effort when they don't appreciate it. Maybe that is selfish, but I think it should be a give and take sort of thing. I guess I really knew how to pick 'em.
My current man, I think is going to be different. We are in a long distance relationship right now so it is impossible for me to physically show him I care. But I show him in other ways, and the difference with this one is, that he does them back. I'll see him in around a months time and I cannot wait to spoil him rotten. | |
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| Why Is It Women Don't Seem To Know How To ROMANCE A Man?
Posted: 9/20/2009 6:19:45 AM | Dating and being in a romantic relationship requires a lot of communication and listening. Romance is easy if the feeling is mutual and you really listen to your partner. People do communicate. You just have to pay attention from your heart. It's not that hard if they are truly into you as you are them. It will come naturally, and you'll know your boundaries if there are any. Sure there may be times when you give more than you receive, but if you know they feel the same way about you as you do them, then you may have to teach them to listen if you want a little romance. Don't make it a demand or it won't be sincere and could make your partner feel like you are unhappy. Just give hints in a subtle way and if they are listening, they'll do it believing it was their idea. As long as they listen, you know it's an honest effort. Some need to learn how to listen, and they will be willing if the relationship is real. And if it doesn't seem like much to you, don't reject them. Appreciate their efforts. Accepting their efforts is accepting their affection. Rejection is a guaranteed relationship killer. If they don't listen, then be honest with yourself that they are not the right person for you. Respect yourself enough to know what you want in a relationship and never settle for less. You deserve to be happy and to have someone that makes you feel special. And the giving of yourself should never be your first and only way to show affection. Confusing sex with romance is often taken as a one night stand. Sex should be the end result and not the main event. It's like eating cake before the entree. Once you have cake, who wants to eat the entree? Anyone can have sex, but to be loved and in love will entwine your souls forever.
This is just some of my thoughts on the subject and not hard and fast rules to follow. The key thing is that everyone wants to feel special and when you find someone you want to be with, then make the effort to listen with your heart. If it's meant to be, the romance will come. | |
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| Why Is It Women Don't Seem To Know How To ROMANCE A Man?
Posted: 9/20/2009 8:05:59 AM | I agree, women never do anything romantic. except maybe the
time I was invited over, for Fondue, and every time the bread
feel into the cheese I was reminded the guest was required to kiss
the hostess. my goodness I was clumsy.
------ or the time another gal, scooted around like Betty Boop, or
the iconic moves of Marilyn Monroe, in apron, and accoutrements,
fixing the most nutritious and delicious dinner I have had to date. Or the
time I received a hand made, poem, Valentine's day card with drawings of
her dancing amidst the stanzas.
Or the time I woke to find my clothes had been switched for causal sports clothes and
was forcibly taken, but not reluctantly, on a beautiful mountain hike.
Or the around the pond walk.
Yay, women, some, know romance.
Littlebear4181
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| Why Is It Women Don't Seem To Know How To ROMANCE A Man?
Posted: 9/20/2009 8:55:18 AM | We have been conditioned that it's a mans duty and obligation
to OUuuuuuuuuuu a woman.
just like in many Animals it's the male that has to do the hole
song and dance to attract a female yes many things will
never change.
It's about time women started romancing and paying for dates. | |
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| Why Is It Women Don't Seem To Know How To ROMANCE A Man?
Posted: 9/20/2009 11:21:19 AM |
I did plenty for the men in my life but got NOTHING in return.
Then you should have moved on.
I only give as good as I get now, fair is fair.
If they can't, I move on.
Why Is It Women Don't Seem To Know How To ROMANCE A Man?
Complete fallacy.
Plenty do.
Women overindulge men by a landslide.
Don't stop, or waste time at the ones who don't.
Don't be a hinderance to your own outcomes. | |
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| Why Is It Women Don't Seem To Know How To ROMANCE A Man?
Posted: 9/20/2009 11:31:11 AM | Yes, I know how to romance my guy. But I also enjoy courting... the problems I've had in the past is... the men I tried to court thought I was too clingy. Gee, does that mean he's not ready for a relationship? No, I don't court by calling every 5 minutes... not even once a day. But I will slide a note on your winshield or something silly. It doesn't take much to share feelings. If you are both on the same level... all should be ok. I haven't even been in a relationship for a while. It's exhausting. Whew! lol | |
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