| Why Is It Women Don't Seem To Know How To ROMANCE A Man?
Posted: 9/21/2009 11:13:28 AM | | I made a book of friendship poems and qoutes for the man i've been seeing for 15 months. I give him massages, leave notes for no special reason and cook and clean for him. And one night took him to a place upon the mountain just to look at the night sky. (and that was the night he told me he loved me) imagine that it worked lol | |
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| Why Is It Women Don't Seem To Know How To ROMANCE A Man?
Posted: 9/21/2009 11:26:01 AM | | romance is to give a bath...backrub...clean the house...clean the car...do errands for him...striptease...watch football with him...go and watch wrestling with him...accept for who he is...just be there and be supportive | |
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| Why Is It Women Don't Seem To Know How To ROMANCE A Man?
Posted: 9/30/2009 1:30:51 AM | Dear beautiful lady, please accept my undying respect for you actually highlighting a less-fortunate aspect of womankind's emotional/psych. makeup these days. I've found that most ladies are of the impression that guys don't have needs and that the whole relationship is about the Ms. involved and the Mr. is supposed to be her knight, asking for nothing and giving all.
I don't play that game and have been accused of some absurdities for reacting apropriately when my supposed "loving girlfriend" or ex-fiance' wouldn't even do things I'd get scorched for not doing.
You are awesome.  | |
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| Why Is It Women Don't Seem To Know How To ROMANCE A Man?
Posted: 10/21/2009 6:47:16 PM | I saw this on another site.
-taught me how to drive a manual transmission via his 1956 porsche speedster convertible, a car that meant the world to him, a car that had been on the cover of excellence mag
-brought me breakfast (including homemade cinnamon rolls!) in bed, every weekend, along with a copy of the sunday nyt
-bought me flowers, for no reason whatsoever
-overheard me tell my best friend that i couldn't find a nail polish to match a certain indian outfit that i was wearing for a wedding-- so he had his friends at a certain shop (think similar to "west coast customs") create the most glorious enamel to surprise me with, shot with three kinds of pearl
-knew that i'd be heartbroken that my beloved siamese fighting fish died, so he desperately ran all over town trying to find an identical twin before i got home from work (unsuccessful-- i got home early and found my little "triumph trident" belly up)
-surprised homesick me with a visit during my first semester of grad school (over two years after we broke up!!!) and even brought my fave bare escentuals peppermint shower gel to cheer me, after i absent-mindedly mentioned that i couldn't find it out here.
http://www.sepiamutiny.com/sepia/archives/001007.html
1. It seems most women do have princess syndrome and are MORE selfish than men. This is the RULE. Exceptions DON"T exist.
2. What similar things have women done for men?
3. Ever seen a woman give MORE and be the MORE loving one in the relationship? NEVER right?
4. I can't even think of ONE cool thing a woman taught a man to do. Not even one throughout history. how sad. | |
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| Why Is It Women Don't Seem To Know How To ROMANCE A Man?
Posted: 10/21/2009 6:51:49 PM | After all who does ALL the initiating of relationships? Women spend more time dating multiple men and thinking about back up options than working on their relationship.
Also who proposes, gets on one knee and buys an engagement ring.
Getting on one knee to bribe a woman to marry you is pretty degrading come to think of it. | |
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| Why Is It Women Don't Seem To Know How To ROMANCE A Man?
Posted: 10/21/2009 6:53:18 PM | Too bad #4 more or less invalidates the whole argument.
Really? NOTHING?! My mom's no-bake cookie recipe is pretty freakin' cool. 
Edit:
Also, the idea of the ring goes back to Rome. The left ring finger is associated with the heart, 'cause they believed a vein ran from that finger to the heart.
As for the bended knee bit goes, I can't find a historical reason for it but bowing is often associated with honor, and it DOES make sense that you'd want to humble yourself a bit when you're asking someone to spend their life with you. (And give up their family name, traditionally.) A lot to ask.
Also, I've known men who've been proposed to by women. It DOES happen. It's just rarer because the foundations of our society are mostly patriarchal. | |
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| Why Is It Women Don't Seem To Know How To ROMANCE A Man?
Posted: 10/21/2009 8:45:36 PM | If you look at how divorces turn out it is men who are giving up a lot to be married. Giving up their house, accounts, custody of their kids etc
Changing your name is a very minor thing.
and making cookies isn't the same as teaching your partner something interesting.
have you heard of something similar to a man teaching a woman to drive in a certain way? women don't usually even know anything cool to teach.
maybe if they did they would get more respect and be admired for things other than looks.
Men truly do give more.
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| Why Is It Women Don't Seem To Know How To ROMANCE A Man?
Posted: 10/21/2009 9:46:15 PM | I know...my bad...I could learn a thing or two from some of the guys I've dated...but I'm not that bad...I've planned a really nice ski trip for his birthday with champagne and roses waiting for us at the hotel and it was all a surprise  | |
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| Why Is It Women Don't Seem To Know How To ROMANCE A Man?
Posted: 10/22/2009 2:24:38 AM | 410
1. I find cooking VERY interesting. Driving a certain way isn't a necessity to me. Eating is. I need to eat to survive. Surviving is cool. (I drive a automatic, though I do have a female friend that's offered to let me use her manual if I want to learn to drive stick.)
2. What is "cool" is very relative.
3. Your name is your identity. It is minor to some and major to others.
As for who gets more in divorce, well, that's the cost of living in a society that's been patriarchal for thousands of years. Men were in charge and made rules about what women could do and what would happen if they were divorced. (Because before career minded women were the norm this sort of thing needed planning for.)
2 words: prenuptial agreement.
Aside from the whole children aspect, many places require all assets to be split right down the middle unless you have a prenupt. If you get a prenupt, be sure to include possible children in it.
"Give more" comes from a certain perspective. Your approach is mostly financial. I'm not saying there's something wrong with that, but it's not a very holistic view of things.
All I can say is that the last time I lived with a partner we did a pretty good job at keeping things split right down the middle. That includes her surprising me with dinner out... or with a very nice homecooked meal from time to time. | |
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| Why Is It Women Don't Seem To Know How To ROMANCE A Man?
Posted: 10/22/2009 12:03:05 PM | There is another thread discussing why relationships don't seem to work as well as they did in past generations and one of the common responses is a lack of give/give in relationships today and the independent mentality of the modern day woman.
Both of these statements have a lot to do with this topic.
I have been in two long term, serious relationships, one with a woman closer to my age and one with a woman 10 years younger and both lacked an understanding of who I was and what I wanted whereas I made it a point to understand their needs and cater to them. I mention the age difference because it isn't just confined to a specific generation.
I was raised by a single mother who taught me to be respectful and understanding/sensitive to a woman’s needs so I naturally was a giver when in a relationship. If I recognize she had a bad day I would have a nice dinner, generally something she really loved, along with her favorite flowers waiting for her when she got home followed by a massage to relax her. I obviously didn’t do this every time something happened and I would do these things randomly as well even if everything was fine but to ever just expect anything like this out of them was ridiculous.
The thing is, their views on relationships were both very similar. Both were very intelligent, beautiful, career oriented and had outward confidence and they viewed me as just a “bonus” to their already “amazing lives”. A SO to these women are purely utilitarian and disposable. They don’t open up emotionally and try very hard to project a strong and confident facades. They made a concerted effort to remind me that they didn’t need a man in their lives but at the same time were very needy and possessive behind closed doors. One of them went as far as to tell me that it’s not a woman’s job to do anything for a man and if she did I should consider it a privilege for just being with her but at the same time expected complete devotion to her needs. I don’t want to make general statements about any one type of woman because they are all different and I have only dated a very small percentage of these women in a constant area but I will say that a majority of the women that I have dated in the 23-35 age range have pretty much had a similar mentality as the two that I had long relationships with, especially the ones with professional careers, which is what I was/am attracted to. | |
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| Why Is It Women Don't Seem To Know How To ROMANCE A Man?
Posted: 10/22/2009 12:46:05 PM | One day when I knew my fiance wouldn't be home I covered his wall in post it notes... I don't mean a few post it notes I been ALOT. Each one had little things I loved about him on them.
Or if he has had a long day I will wash his dishes.
I've taken him out to dinner
Bought him presents
Give him foot rubs
I like when he puts his head on my shoulder during movies
I made him a video scrapbook
I spent hours finding love songs that seemed appropriate for us | |
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| Why Is It Women Don't Seem To Know How To ROMANCE A Man?
Posted: 10/22/2009 12:50:40 PM | Its not that we donn't know how ........I surprised my guy with a hotel room bubble bath (me giving him), candles, massage complete with warming oil, and during a very oral moment he feel asleep (imagine)........actually I took it personally for all of the 30 minute nap........because I regularly inticed and seduced him sent him flowers after our first love making with a note that read "amazing" and it all was then I noticed that I was the only one giving to these acts of affection seems he loved the attention but not truly in this for love.........that was just a taste of what I will give would be nice to have some in return | |
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| Why Is It Women Don't Seem To Know How To ROMANCE A Man?
Posted: 10/22/2009 1:09:21 PM | Wow . . .thiguy said it like I've experienced it, and he lives 3000 miles from me. It looks like it's not just a local phenomenon . . .
Sprainedheart (great handle, btw), you are one in a thousand. Please don't change, and talk up your exploits with your most gossipy friends. The word needs to be spread on this subject. | |
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| Why Is It Women Don't Seem To Know How To ROMANCE A Man?
Posted: 10/22/2009 1:30:26 PM | Eyes are huge....I read eyes well. Knowing your partner. Humor and clicking and laughing together is huge. Experimenting, playing, knowing what your partner is passionate about and finding small items that are sentimental including what they are passionate about. Giving them a gift certificate in what they are passionate about. Going to an event that you know they would enjoy. Buying something with the logo or patch of what they are passionate about. Making their favorate meal with candlelight. Sitting around a fire with blanket and glass of wine or sparkling grape juice or hot apple cider and soft music. There's a ton of things. Know your partner and what he/she is passionate about.   | |
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| Why Is It Women Don't Seem To Know How To ROMANCE A Man?
Posted: 10/22/2009 6:26:34 PM | I think that everyone's idea of romance is different person to person never mind between men or women...
I think that it's a good idea to find out what is MEANINGFUL to YOUR partner and then go from there...
Sometimes one person's idea of romance is totally lost on another person...and sometimes romance is really just a simple gesture, rather than a big production...
Go forth and...ROMANCE each other!!! 
As for women getting the "better part" of it or expecting more...Amazing how ALL of you guys saying that just KEPT ON staying with someone who was selfish and self-centered rather than just leave and find someone who understands that reciprocity is the key...?
I mean rather than being bitter, how about taking some responsibility for wasting your OWN time and energy??? | |
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