| Can you cheat on a person you are truly in love with?
Posted: 10/2/2007 2:45:09 AM | People cheat for one reason...they never really feel good enough...they always have to prove something to themselves. Really kind of sad when you think about it. If you get involved with someone with really low self image they will likely cheat on you. It is the quanity vs quality syndrome.
I would like to hear your opinions on what constitutes "Cheating". Also, what constitutes a lie. Amazing how many different views there are. Someone said to me once "I did not cheat on you because I because I told her I was married. I not lie about being with her, I just never told you". Any comments? | |
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| Can you cheat on a person you are truly in love with?
Posted: 10/2/2007 7:52:06 AM | Cheat? On someone your in love with? I think not!.. What is this world comming too? Seriously though, if you are truly in love with someone, you only have eyes for them. .... Or am i just old fashioned?? I have never been a cheat and would never want too...If you dont love someone and want to cheat, tell them. Its easy to get out of a relationship...There is no excuses for this one! | |
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| Can you cheat on a person you are truly in love with?
Posted: 10/2/2007 8:46:06 AM | I like what you are trying to get at and it is possible to love someone and cheat but feel like there is something missing in your life. Like me for instance...I was robbed from being loved when I was younger and looking for a kind of love, affection, compation, intimacy and respect that most women or men look for and have a hard time finding it or have the wrong sence of what real love is all about. But don't really know how or what to look for.
I thought and still think that, that is possible to love someone, unconditionally. But yes,shouldn't cheat but there are all different cases and shouldn't be all judged not knowing the person involved. I have issues to deal with from my past and have to work harder now then ever to see myself for who I really want to be in life.
I want and need someone to love me for who I am, unconditionally. Alot of people are always ready to judge but look around you and yourself in the mirror before judging everyone. No one in this whole wild world is perfect, except for God.
And even he will not judge but forgive you for any of your sins. Mark my word everyone on this earth has sined at least once in there life time. No matter what it was or is.
Just really think before you act!! Not with drinking or drugs...lol:) sure makes things harder on anyone. Please trust me on this...:) Or else it could be to late unless you really try to work things threw no matter the circomstances are.
Start by being friends first...
Have yourself a good day and take care!!
flipper69 | |
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| Can you cheat on a person you are truly in love with?
Posted: 10/2/2007 10:10:25 AM | | I agree, noone is perfect...But i stand up for many, to say that a lot of my friends and me included have been hurt by people cheating. It ruins lives, especially when you have children....All i am saying is that if you truly, madly, deeply, love someone then it is NOT possible to cheat on them....That is my view anyway and the way i think....Dont hurt someone you are supposed to love, cherish them....Life is too short. X | |
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| Can you cheat on a person you are truly in love with?
Posted: 10/2/2007 10:32:09 AM | | Of course you can. For me, cheating did not come around because of my ex wife, although there is absolutely no way that she will ever be able to fully believe that and that is a major regret in my life. It was about me and the way that I was emotionally going to pieces. My life was in freefall and this was one of the ways that it showed. Not for a minute am I saying that cheating is okay but I know completely in my heart that I have cheated on someone who I was completely madly in love with and the only defence that I can offer is that I was kind of off my head at the time. Add some alcohol to the****ail, or whatever else takes your fancy, and you can see how so many people screw things up for themselves in this way. In other words, some of us are weak but that doesn't make us stupid or devoid of the same morals as everyone else. | |
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isitu?
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Joined: 9/24/2007
Msg: 709 | |
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| Can you cheat on a person you are truly in love with?
Posted: 10/2/2007 10:26:45 PM | It's very possible for people to cheat on someone they claim they love,if they are of a selfish nature.
Personally,I don't think I can ever do that to someone.If I was unhappy in a relationship,I would just break it off. | |
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Viel
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Joined: 9/14/2007
Msg: 711 | |
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| Can you cheat on a person you are truly in love with?
Posted: 10/24/2007 11:35:28 PM | Read "Notes to Each Other". Its about a couple dealing with the fact he was a cheater. He genuinely loved his wife but realized he was following a pattern set down by his father and father before him. He had no idea how destructive he was being to himself and his wife. Once he came to the understanding he did the work to overcome the problem. (the authors of that book now have a few on marriage counselling I believe).
Anyway, "once a cheater blah blah" is true of some people. But not everyone. You have to look at your own case. If he will go to counselling and sincerely see it from your point of view and is willing to do the work... which includes suffering under you constant strutiny. Then it can be turned around. It is very difficult for both parties. But it is possible.
Of course, if you've known the guy 3 months or something then there probably isn't enough of an investment there to bother going through that crap and you should just cut and run cause your odds will be better with someone new. | |
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| Can you cheat on a person you are truly in love with?
Posted: 11/10/2007 6:37:43 AM | Hi imreadyru2,
It IS cheating and lying if it FEELS that way to you. It's for you to say what it is, what it means to you, and how you're going to deal with it - no matter what the 'dog & pony show' you're getting from your partner about it (about anything). Trust yourself first. You need your partner to CARE about your feelings no matter what the situation, rather than try to change your perception of it - an 'art' to people who cheat. IF they get caught, they'll either go into denial or they're already well prepared to manipulate you with clever word-crafting, re-framing and re-define cheating. Weren't you embarassed for the both of you when he did that? Ask yourself how you FEEL after hearing your partner actually say those things with a straight face. Myself - I felt like I was dealing with a child who was lying about stealing cookies but just couldn't get the story straight enough for me because he's only 3 and I'm 53. | |
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| Can you cheat on a person you are truly in love with?
Posted: 11/10/2007 8:48:32 AM | | I couldn't cheat on anyone as I simply hate hurting people. If I really felt the urge to cheat I guess I would know it was time to end the relationship. I know in the end you are still hurting the other person involved but hey at least you are showing them the respect they deserve. The same amount of respect I would expect in return. | |
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| Can you cheat on a person you are truly in love with?
Posted: 11/10/2007 9:03:39 AM | People cheat because they are unhappy within there relationship or within themselves. Love makes us happy. So if faced with the oppertunity to cheat on the one that we love it just dosent happen, there is just too much to loose. Keep your love alive and there will be no need for your partner to need anyone else.
Catherine aka star.xxx | |
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| Can you cheat on a person you are truly in love with?
Posted: 11/10/2007 9:20:31 AM | | I think you can cheat and love someone else. It depends on the reason you choose to take that step and there are so many reasons... ranging from not having your needs met..other outside influences.... to a complete sense of insecurity with yourself. How many people have cheated on a spouse but have chosen not to leave ? or came running back when discovered? Its hard to know what baggage someone carries from their life experiences that causes them to take this step whether it be a complete lack of morals or a personal need that cant be filled. But to me its like saying that you cant hurt or betray someone you love and I know people can.... and still truly love them . Me personally, I know I could never do it and feel whatever the reason the act speaks volumes about morality and trust. At that point love doesn't seem so important. | |
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| Can you cheat on a person you are truly in love with?
Posted: 11/10/2007 10:15:42 AM | Having been cheated on by a woman i was so in love with and she claimed she was with me, i think that the only answer is NO, no matter what the circumstances are you should never cheat on a partner. if you feel the need to then you don't deserve the love of anyone, you are just out to get what you can and add another notch to your bedpost. How would you feel if your partner cheated on you!! I am sure you would not be happy and from then on your relationship will crumble.. If more people talked with one another then they could tell each other the spark is going and then do SOMETHING about it, instead of going out and finding a thrill with someone elses partner or just a drunken bum be it either male or female. as for the excuse of alcohol being a factor, then b big enough to lay off it if you can't handle it and say NO when someone comes on to you.
Even having said that, i will totally trust my future partner not to cheat on me. | |
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| Can you cheat on a person you are truly in love with?
Posted: 11/10/2007 2:03:15 PM | | Personally speaking...I could never cheat on someone I loved and i think it comes down to character..its just not a nice thing to do to someone and i consider it one of the biggest betrayals of trust....I think that there are certain people who cannot help themselves and need to keep validating their own worth , and by cheating, I suppose it is an ego thing....i never understood it, but i also say to each his own...never cheated and never will | |
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