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| Can you cheat on a person you are truly in love with?
Posted: 1/1/2008 8:08:42 PM | I was married for 21 yrs and my husband came home to tell me that he had been cheating for 8 + months. I was more than devastated. I truly thought I would die from the broken heart. It was far worse than I had ever imagined. I wanted to die instead of feeling the pain that this man had put on me. How can one person decide my fate? How unfair that he could change my life so greatly because he could not be honest. Because he could not have enough respect for me to tell me that he was not in love BEFORE he cheated. The feelings that you have when a spouse cheats on you are so powerful you truly feel you will not get thru it. Of course his "relationship" did not last and once he was done "playing" he came back to say that he wanted to get back together and that he was "sorry and he loved me". That did nothing but add to the already overwhelming emotions that I was feeling. Do I believe anyone can love you AND cheat? No way! I loved this man with everything in me. I wanted to spend all of my life with him and I gave my all to him. I could never have done this to him. I would not have been able to give that part of me to another man when I had given my heart to my spouse. Don't believe this lie. People who cheat are not capable of telling the truth. Their entire lives and existence is a lie.  | |
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| Can you cheat on a person you are truly in love with?
Posted: 1/12/2008 6:09:29 AM | With all due respect, from what I see, you have been relentlessly attacking him for engaging in this thread. His comments (including responses to your rude attacks) were insightful, honest, respectful and in no way reflecting any form of judgement against others.
"Loosen the bone Wilma"... | |
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bugsi
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Joined: 11/26/2007
Msg: 806 | |
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| Can you cheat on a person you are truly in love with?
Posted: 1/14/2008 7:18:34 AM | I have never cheated in any of my relationships, did not even have a desire to be with anybody other than the man I was with. I like being a one-man woman and focus my affections on him and him alone.
You can not love the person you are with if you are cheating on them. You probably do not even l0ve yourself. There is no respect and if you are cheating, then you are lying too. There is nothing loving or caring about that at all! | |
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| Can you cheat on a person you are truly in love with?
Posted: 3/22/2008 11:03:07 AM | Nope. Love is a higher place. It is the emotional reward for sacrificing all other prospects. It must be based on trust and commitment and cheating would never happen without those.
It's not that the cheater doesn't feel like they are in love with you. I think they just aren't emotionally ready to appreciate what they have.
Though I recently ended a relationship due to someone being emotionally unfaithful to me, I can say that I faced temptation and held onto my commitment, even though in the end she couldn't do the same. I can hold my head high. Cheaters cheat themselves.  | |
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| Can you cheat on a person you are truly in love with?
Posted: 3/22/2008 2:23:48 PM | | No you cant cheat on someone you truly love. Im a little bit young and Ive only loved one person. To me cheating only happens when you are not happy with your relationship. For me when Im not happy with a relationship I quickly end it. Ive never been dumped and Ive left dozens of women. Most of the time its because I have outside interests. I think part of not being tempted to cheat is eliminating destractions. Dont try to meet new men and women. Concentrate on the man or woman that you already have and making it the best relationship you can. If there is one thing Ive learned from leaving a lot of women is that I made some mistakes in leaving them. I put too much concentration on the outside oppertunities and as result ended up exploring those oppertunities. A few times I made a big mistake in leaving the woman I was with to explore something with another woman. What Ive learned is that I need to ignore the outside oppertunities and look at the oppertunity at hand. What Ive learned is that you need to leave when there is a desire to cheat but at the same time you have to think long and hard about whether its truly an oppertunity and not just a distraction from the real oppertunity. | |
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| Can you cheat on a person you are truly in love with?
Posted: 3/22/2008 2:34:09 PM | | that sound so sweet coming from a man its so true if you love some one you don't want no other one touching you it would make me feel dirty but a lot of woman or men don't care they will clime on any one drinking or not . | |
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| Can you cheat on a person you are truly in love with?
Posted: 3/22/2008 2:39:41 PM | | my ex did me that way for 27 years and one day one of my so call friend told me she was having sex with him that is how i found out so after 27 years of being true to him he been a dog so i took the trash out now am with a great guy for all most 9 years | |
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| Can you cheat on a person you are truly in love with?
Posted: 3/22/2008 3:42:41 PM | People are only faithful to themselves... not to an individual...(ie.. nothing you can do will stop a selfish/self interested/ unfaithful person cheating on you)
so if they are not faithful to themselves ..they never will be to anyone else......its character..integrity..
people who lie to themselves will never be honest with you....(watch someone ... if you hear them lying to someone else.. even while with you(as in your connected as partners).. thats their character... they will at some time lie to you)
everyone has a different idea/concept/depth/knowledge of what love is.....So they might believe they love you.. and cheat
people will never treat you better than they treat themselves..
people justify their behaviour.... with reasons/excuses.....
watch...... does the person blame others? in other situations?... (ie not take responsibility for themselves?)
self love/integrity/self respect... living with ones own concious... .. then ....can go and love others...
so if someone is not treating themselves with love... their concept of love or telling you they love you... is their level of what they perceive as love..
true love...... you would not hurt /nor disrespect them..
maturity/selfishness....or revenge game of 'well ill teach you'.... if you showed me more love/attention ..whatever(again blame.... over being honest to self/ lover)...then i wouldnt cheat?...... once again ... blame
learn to avoid liars early.... saves hurt later..
honest people/loving/respectful people would face the unhappiness/situation and try and discuss it...fix it... if not they would move on....
they would not lie..then cheat.
so i guess if people want honesty in life....be honest... be approachable... to hear anything.. even if it hurts you... .. truth is a double edge sword.. yes it cuts.. but... the cut on some level... feels ok.. because it creates trust/love.. being truthful with ourselves.. maybe the hardest.. at first... but it then allows us to hear truth from others...
smiles/peace | |
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| Can you cheat on a person you are truly in love with?
Posted: 4/24/2008 7:53:05 AM | yes you can. would you is another story.
people cheat for a multitude of reasons, one of which is they want some form of attention, even if their spouse is mrs. or mr. wonderful. people are human, can be selfish, and yes, do really stupid things.
I think many people who cheat still love their spouse, they just choose a different avenue to get their needs met, rather than working on the relationship.
When people judge others and say I would NEVER do that, I think they are kidding themself into thinking they are righteous and moral. If not cheating, there are other so called sins, like omission, for example.
Back to the original question, we need to get over ourselves and if the person cheated on truly loves the cheater, then they work it out.
P.S. Well said Soulmate08! | |
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| Can you cheat on a person you are truly in love with?
Posted: 4/24/2008 9:55:59 AM | RE: First post.
Depends on your idea of "Truly Love". I personally couldnt but then again I doubt I'll ever find someone I "Truly Love".
Besides you shouldnt even be able to cheat on someone you love a little. Cheating is just a blatant disregard of feelings. Its tossing a whole relationship down the drain because you cant keep it in your pants. Such irreverance is common and pathetic. | |
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| Can you cheat on a person you are truly in love with?
Posted: 4/24/2008 10:21:38 AM | a big fat NOPE
Part of love is loyaly, devotion, honesty... look in all the profiles, those looking for love are not advertising for dishonest, deceiving, manipulative schemers, which is what cheating is. If you are one of those people looking for love and you cheat, you could be cheating yourself or have yet to find LOVE
Cheating is not having sex with more than one person if it's an act of mutual consent between all parties involved. It's only cheating when it's a lie and not a mutual agreement.
Me? I'm into monogomy tyvm
I couldn't even cheat on someone I did NOT love, if I'm not happy I'll move on and then find someone new. I don't need to be with someone for the wrong reasons and niether should you!!! | |
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