| Can you cheat on a person you are truly in love with?
Posted: 12/6/2008 6:45:09 PM | Can you cheat on a person you are truly in love with?
Posted: 8/24/2005 6 56 PM
I think people cheat because their needs are not being met!!!! You can totally love someone, but they aren`t taking care of your needs due to whatever reason....You owe it to them FIRST, to say `This isn`t working for me!!! What can we do to make it better
Wow, I don't get most of the excuses on here, but their "needs"....
From my experience.and let me say I AM talking about MY experience with love. Loving someone to me means putting them first..and in most instances that love has been returned in the same way. If not..it's sorry we aren't working out here.
My reason to respond is . My husband of twenty years was sick and I took care of him 24/7 for several years before he died.
I am now 52, he has been gone for 2 !/2 years.............couldn't have sex for at least the last 4 or 5 before he died.
I was relatively young and have a very healthy sex drive. I , however would never have even dreamed of cheating on him..for my own needs. HOW SHALLOW!!
It would have broke his heart and destroyed him to think I could even think that way. Up until the last twenty days he was in ICU before he died....he would manuever his walker to reach out and kiss me.........a shell of a man on the outside from what he was before he took sick, but still the same loving heart on the inside.
I responded to him as I would have twenty years earlier. He was my love and my heart.
NO way on God's green earth could I have ever considered it. It took me 18 months to even consider going out to dinner with another man....and I still back off from many because of him. I am careful.
I agree wiith everyone that thinks that if you TRULY love the other person , there is no way you can cheat. LOVE will CONSTRAIN YOU!! I think problem is we love ourselves and are selfish.............then give our loved ones what is left over and call it good. | |
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| Can you cheat on a person you are truly in love with?
Posted: 12/6/2008 7:03:31 PM | I think anything is possible, especially if you're in a dis-functional relationship. Cheating does not always mean you don't love the person you cheated on, but it does mean something is wrong with the relationship. Or, if you're just the type who likes to cheat, maybe it's just in your nature.
Honestly, I think more people cheat then like to admit. And many cheat because it's just available and they know they'll never get caught because they were careful.
"You're only as faithful as your options". That's a saying I heard years ago and I think that's very true for many men. If something better comes along, they still enjoying playing with it, even if they are in what they consider a happy relationship. As women have gained more independence, I think that makes cheating easier for us as well. We don't have to worry about a husband leaving us if we cheat, because we can pay our own bills now.
It really comes down to each individual. It cheating is something you just can't tolerate, in any way shape, or form, then don't be a cheater yourself. | |
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| Can you cheat on a person you are truly in love with?
Posted: 12/6/2008 7:46:24 PM | **Ichi-Bon**
Great post Love, and I agree with much of what you've said; but I decline to agree that people cheat due to there needs not being met. I'm sorry.
I believe people who cheat are infidel in nature, and those that don't; are not. No matter the circumstances.
To me, it's all about conscience. There is NO reason or right or justifiable excuse to betray another. None. I have gone years without intimacy in a relationship, and had the opportunity; but my conscience would not let it happen. I have beat myself up over this many times, and find that my conscience remains clear for doing the right thing.
It's an option open to too many, and one that is taken and not thought twice about by many as well.
No matter what the circumstance in life, be it physical, mental or otherwise; someone who will share their body, temple, and faith with another outside of a relationship, has issues far beyond the realm of a forum.
I accredit the majority to ignorance and lack of focus, faith, and willingness to abstain and persevere.
No excuse(s).
Sorry.
God Bless, and Happy Holidays.
Scott. | |
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| Can you cheat on a person you are truly in love with?
Posted: 12/6/2008 9:58:36 PM | If you're with someone that means everything in the world to you then why would you risk losing them by cheating on them? It's that simple. If you cheat or are cheated on then there is something that is not satisfying in the relationship. It could be lack of communication or loss of interest. Whatever it is there is no repect for someone who cheats. If it is not working out then end the relationship and then "fish" around...
KISSES
KAT | |
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| Can you cheat on a person you are truly in love with?
Posted: 12/6/2008 10:07:53 PM | | I agree totally, Scott. There is absolutely no justification that can be made to cheat on someone you love. Frankly, if you are in love with someone truly then the thought should not cross one's mind to cheat nor should one entertain the attentions from another. | |
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Freqy
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Joined: 12/2/2008
Msg: 931 | |
| Can you cheat on a person you are truly in love with?
Posted: 12/7/2008 12:37:15 AM | Perhaps if you're young and still stupid. I messed up once when I was 19 and paid for it dearly (thankfully managing to keep my partner though).
Perhaps if you have past relationship issues that actually do make you lose control of your own actions - a real problem not just a lack of self control.
In general though, definitely not. You can be over intimacy with your partner, you can stare at other 'possibilities' all day, but you can't do things behind the back of someone you truly love. | |
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| Can you cheat on a person you are truly in love with?
Posted: 12/7/2008 3:26:17 AM | For those that say 'cheating means there is something wrong with the relationship'
I agree - the problem with it is one person blames their choices on something outside themselves. They are incapable of taking responsibility for thier choices.
They take value of themselves and fail to value the other person at all.
And then ask them to believe they love them, why to keep hurting them?
Mmm Im well aware of the names for those qualities. | |
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| Can you cheat on a person you are truly in love with?
Posted: 12/7/2008 4:08:55 AM | Pretty sure I answered this post already, but Im not going through 38 pages to find out.
The answer is no. Though I might come close in certain situations. Such as my mate became disabled to the point he was not able to have sex with me. Even if he told me to go elsewhere. I might even get to the bedroom with another man with the other man knowing my situation full well, but the thought of my mate at home would kill my sex drive instantly. I wouldn't enjoy the sex with the other man so no point in being there. | |
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Qamila
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Joined: 2/26/2008
Msg: 936 | |
| Can you cheat on a person you are truly in love with?
Posted: 12/7/2008 8:40:30 AM | | I can't cheat on a person I'm with at all, even if I love him or not. For me, it does not depend on how I feel about the person. It's just something I don't believe in and I won't do no matter what or who. | |
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| Can you cheat on a person you are truly in love with?
Posted: 12/7/2008 12:09:41 PM | If I were in love and NOT in an exclusive/committed relationship with this person I was in love with-it would not be cheating for me. However, if I was definitely in a relationship with someone, intimacy with anyone else would be infidelity.  | |
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| Can you cheat on a person you are truly in love with?
Posted: 12/7/2008 3:36:10 PM | Eagles,
If you check my post , you will see that I was responding to a quote above my statement's from SOMEONE ELSE........ about other's need's not being met. The reply was below that and that was MINE. I don't believe there is ANY reason for CHEATING!!
I have still not learned how to copy and paste in a box.............but the top part of my post is a quote from someone else........
Could someone explain to this relatively computer illiterate how to put someone else's quote in a box...so that my post doesn't get mistaken again..PLEASE !! | |
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| Can you cheat on a person you are truly in love with?
Posted: 12/8/2008 8:24:04 AM | | Humans are incredibly complex, so I think it IS possible, though probably much less likely. Noone can guarantee their future behavior in all circumstances. Some people can have a moment of weakness especially if inebriated, for example. Good people CAN make mistakes, and regret them. It helps to avoid any situation or behavior that could compromise your integrity. | |
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| Can you cheat on a person you are truly in love with?
Posted: 12/8/2008 11:08:29 AM | **Ichi-Bon**
Since we've already corresponded in email, I won't be redundant.
And since I read the email before returning here; simpl Cut and Copy whatever text you wish to quote someone, and then place between a set of these, without the space(s). [ quote] [ /quote].
Now lemme see if it is going to allow me to post that! 
Thanks again for clarifying, and such a kind email...
Happy Holidays, and God Bless.
Scott.
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| Can you cheat on a person you are truly in love with?
Posted: 12/8/2008 1:34:23 PM | ^^^ I'm happy for you that in your world everyone is perfect!  I'm sure you're correct in that vast majority of people who cheat are good at rationalizing their behavior, but is your judgment absolute for everyone and always? Can noone regret and reform, perhaps even because they love their partner despite a mistake? I'd like to think some can. | |
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| Can you cheat on a person you are truly in love with?
Posted: 12/13/2008 8:05:03 AM | As many other people said "You are either a cheater or not a cheater".
It is a mentality. Due to my own morals, I would NEVER cheat.
If you are the type of person who has weak enough morals to cheat, then you have the potential to do it on anyone no matter how much you love them. | |
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