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| | Can you cheat on a person you are truly in love with?Page 39 of 40 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40) | this is by far the most....obvious no brainer... I think I EVER EVER heard...
What kinda of a person would NOT know the answer to this?
WOW is morals so far out of wack ....?
If you was truly in love with their money.... I would guess so ... | |
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| Can you cheat on a person you are truly in love with?
Posted: 12/13/2008 9:38:49 AM | Genuine love is all encompassing, fulfilling and combines respect for the self and the other, in a complete surrender. How could one with love compromise themselves and their SO by seeking intimacy outside the relatonship??
Doing so is an indication of problems in the relationship (and an absence of love as described above), unless the person is a totally self centered, egotistical narcicist, then it is just a problem with them, and the other should abort. | |
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| Can you cheat on a person you are truly in love with?
Posted: 12/13/2008 12:49:31 PM | The answer's simple..... NO!......
You are either a cheat or not, and as for love, the word not necessarily the deed is thrown about like confetti. If you are in any relationship whether you said love or not cheating is unacceptable, if things aren't working fix them, if they can't be fixed then you part ways. | |
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| Can you cheat on a person you are truly in love with?
Posted: 12/14/2008 12:09:55 PM | I dont think you are in love with someone if you are pursuing any type of physical or sexual activity or attention from someone else.
I was told by a man I had been involved with that he had met someone and he was in love. I respected that. Kept contact minimal, well behaved, and he went there, telling me he thinks about me, dreams about me, wants me.
What about her? Was my question. His answer,,,,,what about her?
I nearly blew a gasket on him.
Told him to repsect her and ME.
Know what,,far as I know, he is still involved with her, and continues to tell me he desires me
I am not falling for it, him or his lines.
He was in town a few weeks ago,,,made a point to come to my house to see me.
Got a hello and good bye hug...and he held me against him and pressed his fingers into me.
Then sent me a "tuck me in " text...
He doesnt love her.
He doesnt love me either.
I "love" him, but am not and wont allow myself to be in love with him either.
We have a long history,
I never knew this side of him, but suspected .....
Breaks my heart that my fantasy man...which he once was
is a cheater or so screwed up he cant be faithful
If I were in love, NO WAY would another person get my attention, like that. | |
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| Can you cheat on a person you are truly in love with?
Posted: 12/14/2008 1:14:34 PM | | Rockon, Doesnt sound like that man would know true love if he tripped and fell over it. Be glad he is gone. It is funny how a man can tell a woman that he only thinks of her but is with another woman. The Stupidity of some men is jsut unreal. They cant possibly think we are that stupid. | |
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| Can you cheat on a person you are truly in love with?
Posted: 12/15/2008 7:47:42 AM | I'm not condoning cheating but most of the marriage and family therapists out there say that you can love someone and still cheat on them. It's a matter of whether or not you feel that your partner is meeting your needs in the relationship. If the person you're in love with is neglecting something you need (sex, conversation, emotional support, etc.), it's not uncommon for people to fill that void with another person. Unfortunately, filling that void with a member of the opposite (or same) sex creates the danger of an emotional connection that can lead to sex.
So yeah, you can love someone and cheat on them. But you owe it to your relationship to identify what you think you're partner is neglecting and make them aware of it. If they can't provide you with it, then either learn to live without it or move on to someone who can provide, cheating is only a temporary salve. And you owe it to your relationship to make sure you're meeting your partner's needs so they don't have to make a connection with someone else to be completely satisfied emotionally.
Of course, some people just cheat because they can and there isn't a durn thing you can do about it. | |
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| Can you cheat on a person you are truly in love with?
Posted: 12/15/2008 7:53:21 AM | but most of the marriage and family therapists out there say that you can love someone and still cheat on them.
"LOVE" someone and being "IN LOVE" are two different things. of course you can love someone and cheat on them but if your IN LOVE iwth them there is no way on God's green earth you can cheat on them. panamaican, your post reminds me to never ever pay a therapist for their advice. I have always said they were useless and your post just proved it. | |
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| Can you cheat on a person you are truly in love with?
Posted: 12/15/2008 12:41:23 PM | | I made a mistake in my marriage, call it an indiscretion. Well, it came out and we talked about it, actually seemed at the time we were growing a part. That was 19 years into the marriage. Well, she died, we were married almost 38 yrs. Of course there are other things I wish I had done, but that one haunts me! I've sworn never to cheat on anyone, and I haven't. Won't!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! No matter if you say you're sorry and things go on. After they die you can't say it anymore, even if you wish you could. | |
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| Can you cheat on a person you are truly in love with?
Posted: 12/15/2008 12:59:57 PM | | If you are truely in love with someone than you would always want to protect them. You wouldn't want anything to hurt them. Obviously cheating is one of the most hurtful, selfish things that a person could do. This is not quantum physics. If you are selfish enough to cheat than you don't really love the person you are with, whether you admit it to yourself or not. | |
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| Can you cheat on a person you are truly in love with?
Posted: 12/18/2008 9:28:42 PM | | I personally couldn't and wouldn't have any urge to cheat on the person I love. Hell I couldn't even cheat on a person I wasn't really into if that was the case. Cheating is for the insecure beings that don't know what love is or what they have. They confuse love with infatuations and selfish wants (or what they call needs). Of course for some, they cannot handle being with someone that's normal, happy, and settled with themselves that they degrade their nature more and cheating is a good example of that type of insecurity. | |
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| Can you cheat on a person you are truly in love with?
Posted: 12/19/2008 6:15:02 PM | "CHEATING"........
Cheating implies intent, deception, cruelty.
Firstly, monogamy is a creation of society. Granted it's been around for a long time and it's accomplished exactly what it was intended to, creat a stable society. It's even built into the bible for reinforcement. If man (both) were not mogonamous, or guided in that direction, we'd still be living in mud huts. Way to many distractions. It is what a stable society is built on.
However, it's not a natural state.
If you lived a thousand years, you could not love all the good people deserving of your love. and you of theirs.
Only you can determine what's in your heart. If, in you heart you are deeply in love with someone and you meet a person that you have a connection with you should pursue it. Souls recognize kindred spirits and that's a rarity. This doesn't mean that sex is neccessarily involved, that's just part of the encounter if it is though. This doesn't mean that you leave ur love. Each person you feel that connection with will contribute something different to your life.
I speak of this more in a spiritual sense than a sexual one, although it can all become intertwined.
This is not the same as leaving your girlfriend, wife, love, and going out bar hopping looking to "score". Now that's cheating. Intent. | |
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| Can you cheat on a person you are truly in love with?
Posted: 12/19/2008 6:29:54 PM | how sad that you "socialilze" being in love...
to academics ....
we must be speaking of a version of love you aren't familiar with.
We are referring to that internal connection that one finds with another
and is fulfilled by that.
LOVE as you speak of can fluctuate with an ebb and flow..
IN LOVE is lasting, can withstand all the wars and fires and anything else manmade. | |
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| Can you cheat on a person you are truly in love with?
Posted: 3/7/2009 12:34:15 PM | Fidelity and love are too separate things. Infidelity is a hurtful act, so loving someone can help resist the temptation to cheat. I respectfully disagree, also, that "you cannot love someone without trusting them." Love generally does not work that way. The funny thing about love is that it happens when you least expect it - even if the object of your affections is a cheat. Sometimes the only thing you can do when you find yourself falling for someone who is ultimately bad for you, is to completely cut contact with that person before you become overwhelmed by the desire to be with him or her.
On the other hand, an act of infidelity requires the premise of an express (implied, in some cases) covenant between too people. Cheating on someone means breaking a convenant with that person- which is a dishonorable act. It is respect that keeps us from dishonoring another person. Thus, it might be more appropriate to say that you can't cheat on someone you fully respect and honor. Similarly, a self-respecting person will not allow his or herself to stay in a relationship with someone who is unfaithful. | |
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| Can you cheat on a person you are truly in love with?
Posted: 3/7/2009 4:19:27 PM | | I am not sure. We are all liars in a sense, more or less. We may have genetic proof that the cheaters actually prevail in the long run. I am not saying honest people are at a risk of extinction. But historically cheating people has been in a great advantage. Cheating, yes, you can do it for a while, maybe a long while. But to keep it for the whole life is not easy. It will backfire in one way or another. The judge is yours. | |
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| Can you cheat on a person you are truly in love with?
Posted: 3/7/2009 4:33:57 PM | | The dictionary defines cheat/cheating as deceit, fraud ,dishonesty, deception. If someone realllllllly loves someone they also respect them enough to not want to hurt them. Cheating is different than having an open marriage where there are no secrets. | |
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| Can you cheat on a person you are truly in love with?
Posted: 3/7/2009 4:37:01 PM | | "Truly in love" and a cheater...wow...thats absolute nonsense. I'm not starting a religious topic here; however, for example....that's like stating I'm going to knowingly sin for the rest of my life fully aware that I'm going to heaven. It just doesn't work that way. | |
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| Can you cheat on a person you are truly in love with?
Posted: 3/7/2009 5:15:41 PM |
Can you cheat on a person you are truly in love with?
Depends on what kind of love you are thinking about, and how you define cheat. I don't know why I put "you" in there as this is an old post.
Theoretically and ideally:
I always thought love was a depth of emotion entailing familiarity, truth, knowledge, trust, and acceptance.
Therefore you know if they are going to sleep with someone else and why through knowing their behavior and patterns or they flat out tell you because they trust you and are communicative. And if you truly "love" them can they cheat? Doesn't "love" mean accepting someone flaws and all, rather than physical ownership rights and guarantees of behavior?
I say things like this and people come back with things like "that's giving them permission to cheat, to sleep around, what about STD'S!" and similar stupid things.
People that "cheat" aren't nameless strangers you just happen to one day "decide" to love, even though it seems like that when the concept is posted on internet forums. They are real people you've had a relationship and enough time with to know deeply...if you were paying attention, using the time wisely, and communicating (talking & listening).
People select who they fall in love with. It's called dating. It's a slow selection and weeding out process. You read things (on forums, books, chat rooms), or hear from people about "falling for someone that wasn't my type or I ever considered dating," which is generally horse crap. People put themselves in familiar, and generally repetitive surroundings, and situations that fulfill ideas of their self image. This is still "weeding out" of certain people. You aren't weeding out individuals but general types.
Most people don't consciously select drooling, fiendish, sex maniacs to form long term relationships with. So most people (that cheat) aren't going to be actively and constantly looking to "cheat." If they were (drooling fiendish sex maniacs constantly looking to "cheat") would you really have gotten so far in the relationship to "love" them? I highly doubt it.
In other words there are deeper issues than "once a cheat, always a cheat" or that "cheating" defines a type of person or guy. So accepting someones flaws (cheating and all) seems pretty standard to the definition of "true love." And accepting someone means their "cheating" is more a component to their personality than a reflection on you as a person. Thereby acceptance is not permission or incentive for them to "cheat," but an understanding of why, for that individual.
If you "truly" love a person and they "truly" love you then STD's aren't really a scare as you trust they are concerned about their own health and considerate of yours to be safe. And if you "love" them and they "love" you then they KNOW how important avoidance of STD's are.
So my opinion is I cannot cheat on someone I truly love (and they truly love me) as it is a null, meaningless, concept within my definitions of love. It's comparing apples to oranges.
I, theoretically and morally defensibly, can have sex with another person while still truly in love (both people in the love relationship) as it entails her knowledge (if not cooperation, permission, and participation).
This does not mean I definitely will as we will have an established relationship and I will KNOW her and what effects my behavior will have on her and how best to be considerate of her feelings. And, theoretically, she will be considerate of my own. | |
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| Can you cheat on a person you are truly in love with?
Posted: 3/8/2009 9:31:57 AM | | Love to me equals trust..if the relationship is a healthy one,cheating is not an issue for me.If the relationship turns toxic..then anybody would be up to the possibility.It's simple..if you are wanting another...be kind and end the relationship you're in before you pursue that other.I have been cheated on...and it hurts like hell. I have also cheated and felt like trash...it is a sharp blade on either side. | |
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