| No other way to get noticed...
Posted: 8/14/2005 10:24:52 PM | actually the term mate means to have sex with someone...and that's the last thing i'm looking for...again..i'm looking for a relationship....and not one that's going to start out in the next couple of months b/c yes i am going to be quite busy...but something that will start off very slowly...and perhaps in the future when things start to calm down with the new baby... we can possibly take it further....
and yes...you do sound like it's all my fault....which it's not...but i'm not just blaming them...actually i'm really not blaming anyone b/c i love my kids and i'm happy they are here... so...uhh..yeah | |
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| No other way to get noticed...
Posted: 8/14/2005 10:45:48 PM | Aventura, it seems to me as though you've been caught up in other people's arguments over what's 'right' and what's 'wrong'.......unfortunate.
I too, know that you can believe in the virtues of marriage, without ever having *been* married, (AND while also having a child). I did that scenario a little differently than I had planned also. (I had my son when I was 21, am now 31, and have never been married, very much by choice). It doesn't mean that you don't value marriage, in fact, it might mean that you DO value marriage, more so than some others....as you weren't willing to marry the first guy that came along. (opinons vary)....
Anyhow....I DO believe that you have alot on your plate right now...both mentally AND physically. The way I understand your post...you're feeling a bit lonely right now, you'd love to be able to experience this with a partner by your side.....that's terrific, but perhaps not likely. (I have no stats to back me up, so this is JMO).
By taking the focus off of "what's out there", and placing it back onto yourself, and your little family, you'll be doing yourself a world of good, two fold. First, the attention will be exactly where it should be, and as they say.....things tend to happen when you're not looking!!
All the best to you honey, and your little gal, and your future son...
CH | |
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| No other way to get noticed...
Posted: 8/14/2005 11:35:15 PM | | So much arguing on here, this gal only posted to try to get some good honest and positive feedback and I am sure she didn't want to be judged so rashly and some people have to be cruel and post such rude things. All it comes down to is no one has the right to say wheter or not you are right or wrong for making these choices in your life, they are afterall your choices. People need to be more understanding and offer some compassion to lighten someones mood, not try to reinforce their negativity with uncreative taunting. | |
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| No other way to get noticed...
Posted: 8/15/2005 2:45:38 AM | | Right now you would like to find a friend that you can enjoy spending time with and confide in. Focus on your kids, school and family. If you go to school you will make many new friends. Involve yourself in social activities with your children and you will find many single parents wanting friendships also. Take care and good luck.. | |
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r324
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Joined: 7/13/2005
Msg: 30 | |
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| No other way to get noticed...
Posted: 8/16/2005 5:18:05 AM | Hey........ I have a friend who keeps saying be patient. iI there is anyone out there for you he'll come..... We all want to get notice but really i think it work both ways......... Guess it depends on what you really want. If long term is the thing then be patient....... Yes there are some guys who only have one thing on the brain on here and other dating sits but if there are guys who are looking then hopefully you'll find one ...... If not then hopefully it will be a learning experiences........ Don't give up on what you want......... It will come when the right moment ........... Maybe when you feel all is lost that special guy will contact you and that friendship will turn out to be something real........... Stay stronge believe in yourself that true love will come..........  | |
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| No other way to get noticed...
Posted: 8/16/2005 5:27:14 AM | In an age of aids,rampant stds how can a person not practice safe sex?Yes,it happens but seriously one needs to be more concerned about health issues then a relationship.It's obvious you are having unprotected sex and that in itself is a major concern for yourself and further partners.Or should be.
Maybe you should be a little more concerned with pulling things together.You don't need a relationship to validify your existence.Love may happen in time.It does for most.Be more health conscience in future relationships.As for a bf,don't worry,there is someone out there that will find you.Love will happen. | |
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| No other way to get noticed...
Posted: 8/16/2005 12:03:37 PM | [In an age of aids,rampant stds how can a person not practice safe sex?Yes,it happens but seriously one needs to be more concerned about health issues then a relationship.It's obvious you are having unprotected sex and that in itself is a major concern for yourself and further partners.Or should be.]
yes there are a lot of std's out there...i am fortunate not to have any....but again i must stress the issue here that i'm not looking for someone who i can get laid by...that's the last thing on my mind...and if that were the case...i would've had plenty of men who would like to do me that favor...i'm just looking for someone who i can spend some time with...get to know...and maybe go even further...only time will tell with that...and yes...i am not going to be worried a lot about finding someone...i am still completely focused on my life and the life of my children...if by any chance i were to meet someone...that would be great...but i'm not sitting on here day and night hoping to find that special someone...i know it will just come along some day....hopefully sooner than i expect...but until then...i'm just gonna keep on doing what i'm doing...and if i do happen to find someone...it doesn't mean i'm going to give up on what i have planned in life...i would just hope that that person would support me...and hopefully like to share with me... | |
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| No other way to get noticed...
Posted: 8/16/2005 12:41:10 PM | Ok AVENTURA so i think I am going to play devil's advocate here a moment and say this. PLEASE understand that I truly am not a hurtful person so I do not mean the way it may come across. This is a forum after all and i am only an observer. You mention that you are extremely old fashioned and that you have strong old fashioned values regarding marriage and divorce correct? so i am assuming that includes and involves children as well, am I right?
If so then how did the three kids out of wedlock come about? Now don't get me wrong ...this isn't the 60's and things happen and live gets complicated...BUT i have a few girlfriends to stipulate they have the same morals and old fashioned values such as yourself and they don't even think of SEX before marriage (which really is the epitimy of OLD SCHOOL marriage values and morals) Im just curious is all. So please don't take any offense to my question or observation...Im interested is all.
As for the finding love here or online....i too am becoming extremely sceptical. Perhaps we are all looking in vain. Let's face it. This is a huge pond FILLED WITH FISH! but alas most of them would rather swim alone and stick their fish pricks in others along the way here and there but have no desire to find swimming partners....REGARDLESS what the profile intention reads.
Carissima | |
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| No other way to get noticed...
Posted: 8/16/2005 2:40:33 PM | to answer your question...one i am not offended what so ever... i don't really take anything anyone on here says to offense...it's their own opinions and some of them are really good advice...anywho...i have made many mistakes...for a long time i didn't care about the whole value system...i never wanted to get married...hell i never even wanted kids...but things change...people change...and life happens...i would like to redeem myself and my past by getting into a relationship based on our love for eachother...and not the whole sexual thing...that would be a great thing if i didn't have sex with someone until i got married...and i am more than planning on doing that... at least i would know that the man i was going to marry was not with me just for that... and we can actually work things out by talking...rather than working it out in bed...
another thing...lol...i only have two kids...well i'm about to have two kids...it's kinda like the perfect little family a lot of people want...a boy and a girl...with the exception of a decent man around...but that i know will come in time...and also....even if i don't find anyone on this site...i might find good friends and i do have fun with these forums...but again...only time will tell with everything...until then...i'll just do what i gotta do for me and my kids... | |
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| No other way to get noticed...
Posted: 8/16/2005 3:28:06 PM | Dearest AVENTURA,
Thank you so much for taking all i said kind heartedly. Your thread intruiged me is all and that usually leads to my input. But anyone who knows me here knows I mean no harm or foul on anyone's character and life when I write. But I understand that I do it passionately and sometimes it may look harsh.
I applaude you darlin' We all make mistakes. We're human after all. Too many individuals don't take lessons away from their struggles. And that truly is the REAL MISTAKE! But you will have two beautiful children and im sure as far as we are both concerned they are not mistakes.....just beautiful buddles of joy that were a surprise in your realm of life - nothing less. Always remember, if nothing else I say, It's not the amount of mistakes we make in life that count but how well we rise after each one that truly matters.
Perhaps this is not a time to find love hun. Perhaps this should be a time of self reflection...of family unity. Looking after yourself and your (soon to be two children) that should be the most important goal in your life at this moment. Yes we all want love....we all crave unity with another heart but at what cost??? You seem like a wonderful young lady and well im sure your frog prince is lurking somewhere. Will he be here???? hmmm im not sure.
It is sad that there are so many individuals here (guys and gals alike) that are not as serious about finding a connection as others. And why would there be....we as women make it sooooooo easy for men to "get the milk" without needing to buy the entire cow everyday. Just as us women settle for the whole pig so we can get a little sausage. It's a vicious cycle that will never end until both genders start respecting themselves and others. Sex without commitment is easy....so why not. There doesn't have to be ties, emotions or hard times that go along with it. I for one cannot do it! I've tried but cannot....and I finally realized that not being able to give myself on that level only is a rare but huge achievment in the dating world. Because I have said that I respect myself above and beyond any cheap thrill... and someday I know that I will find someone who will believe in that too. AS WILL YOU! KEEP FAITH!!!
~ Carissima ~ | |
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| No other way to get noticed...
Posted: 8/16/2005 4:49:25 PM | Meowmix was right on the money. Why rush?? You're never too old (nowadays) to have kids... I'm almost 30 and still don't have a child. I'm not worried about it. And I'm not worried if I never have any. Big deal?? It's just more money (that I don't have) that will be gone...Go figure...
Jody
Meowmix, you sexy gal you. I'm surprised you don't have a man. You are so hot!! Good luck to you, babe. | |
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daisie
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Joined: 9/22/2004
Msg: 38 | |
| No other way to get noticed...
Posted: 8/17/2005 8:32:36 PM | | Meowmix: I scanned most of your posts to this thread...and I have to say I agree with everything I read from you! Does that make me harsh or kind? | |
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| No other way to get noticed...
Posted: 8/18/2005 9:10:25 PM | thanks to the previous 2 posters.
OP, please keep us updated, we are interesed in your new baby, and how things worked out for you.
MM | |
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| No other way to get noticed...
Posted: 8/19/2005 12:06:24 PM | well nothing really has happened lately...except for one thing...there was someone i was talking to online here for a while...well he got kinda busy and never got on again...and he was a really great support person...someone who made me feel good about things even at the worst of times...well i just talked to him for the first time on the phone yesterday...and it's like...if he didn't have to get going...we would've stayed on the phone for hours...he's actually someone i'm quite interested in...and he's interested in me also...but for now we are just friends because i live in indiana and he lives in colorado...we both agreed that if it is supposed to work out...then the distance thing will come together some time...we're in no big rush or anything...and i figured...i wanted to take things slowly in the first place...so this is actually quite perfect for me...and he loves kids...his mother actually runs a day care....so he's used to them...so...not sure where it will go..but only time will tell...if we just remain friends...that is just as good...
i just went to the doctor today...everything is going pretty good...i'm getting quite closer to having my son...so i'm getting more and more excited..i'd actually wish it was coming sooner than later...but it'll get here eventually...well just keepin ya'll posted...bubye... | |
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