| Do You Forgive?
Posted: 8/18/2005 3:03:26 PM | Always forgive, never forget.
Realize who and what people are, and only allow those that are respectful and appreciative in your life as friends or lovers.
People that are not, deserve none of your time and effort. There are too many good people out there to waste time on ones that do not share your views. | |
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| Do You Forgive?
Posted: 8/18/2005 3:04:04 PM | | Oh, and coolstone!! It was Edmonton that I moved here from! Sure do miss the winters, the cold, the snow, the .......... NOT. But I do miss WEM, and regular camping trips to Jasper. | |
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| Do You Forgive?
Posted: 8/18/2005 3:22:14 PM | I absolutely do not beleive in cheating, it is the ultimate worst way of telling your g/f,wife you no longer are exclusively hers. I couldn't forgive nor forget. I don't blame you pink, for getting grossed out by his touch after he cheated on you.
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| Do You Forgive?
Posted: 8/18/2005 3:25:55 PM | This strikes me as a bit harsh. When and if one is truly separated from ego concerns such as feeling betrayed, let down, etc, one can then take a person, appreciate the good qualities that person has, and perhaps know that certain things cannot be expected of them because experience tells you so. Remember that people are usually trying their best. This may come up short of your expectations. Lowering the expectations can reduce the frustration.
As a minor example, I really hate people who make other people wait. I hate waiting for people. I have friends who have a propensity for tardiness. Do I take them off my list of friends because of it? No, I try and minimize situations that will be frustrating for me (for instance by giving them an earlier appointed time, to ensure that they are there on time). This way I can continue to appreciate the other parts of them that tickle me.
Similarly with people who can't keep a secret. They can't help it. Just avoid telling them the thing you don't want anyone to know about. Then you can have their frienship for all the wonderful things about them that you like.
Gentleness of spirit is a good thing. | |
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| Do You Forgive?
Posted: 8/18/2005 4:18:47 PM | Relationships are based on trust. How can I trust someone after they cheat. Oh see ya in a little bit honey I'm going to the store. My first though ya right. Hole time I thinking is she at the store or somewhere boinkin the guy down the street . Never work out!
Unfaithful Truelove
Calm unjust by my own means
Sleek in earnest sincere am I
As often the days ponder by
I often seek to wonder why
Yet often not knowing is wrong
Can I help it if I find the truth?
Being able to ingest the bold
Tactful sly in my old youth
Spry as if caught by a ghost
Feelings of chills run up my spine
If I’m caught trouble will accrue
Once found out no more mine
Lies deceit often harder than truth
Worth the thrill of being immoral
Deceit and scandalous in my ways
Ending the day set with a quarrel
Told to all my unduly act of deceit
Caught and known by all I meet
Love just got merciless for me
No one wants alliance with a cheat | |
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| Do You Forgive?
Posted: 8/18/2005 9:55:52 PM | | If I forgave and forgot, I wouldn't be single right now. | |
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Synn
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Joined: 8/18/2004
Msg: 32 | |
| Do You Forgive?
Posted: 8/18/2005 10:13:26 PM | Afairs ....Sex.....Private Dating Dinners ...Movies .....With one on One Males ...is a Nooooo Wayyyy Thing...
But I also would NOT DO IT TO HER...........For those of you that think ....And believe His or Her excuse ......For whatever reason.....and Forgive .....Be Prepared for it to happen again...They may try to make it for awhile and stay with there ONE Partner but it wont last...I know to many people and there friends that have gone through this only to be HURT AGAIN.....And for the ONES that are Caught and Really Try to make AMENDS......You better be prepared to KISS LOTS OF A$$...And never make excuses like i forgot my cell...or the Battery was dead ...or I ran out of gas ...or I worked Late...but was on another floor so i did not hear the office phone...And also kiss the guys night out or girls Night ......Plus if you decided to stay you would have to be nuts ....because that partner just may make it terrible to stay out of confusion | |
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| Do You Forgive?
Posted: 8/19/2005 4:42:05 AM | No Sunshine....I forgave, but I will NEVER forget. And I am single. I have been for over 4 years.
There are a few things that we agreed on, as in rules, during our seperation that he broke that I am having trouble forgiving. The one big rule was that we would not disrespect the fact that we share children and we would never flaunt a new partner in front of each other. One month after he was with girlfriend number 7, he was at my house while I was away and 'parked' her in my hot tub, took our youngest son out for New Years, and ignored him and sucked face with her all evening. Another time he took her to my house while I was home to return something to me that he took without permission...she stood on the edge of the driveway (so as to not break the no trespassing rule) and laughed at me.
It was all around nasty and ugly, a family destroyed, trust broken, and hearts smashed...there will never be any going back...ever...but now today he is happy, something I never gave him, so all the best to him.
Forgivness does not mean taking that person back....that would be a thread under reconcillation. Whole new ball of wax. But forgive so you can get past it and move forward! | |
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| Do You Forgive?
Posted: 8/19/2005 7:21:25 AM | | I'm working on it greanize.. he's the pathetic one here that needs help. I've found out he's done it in his other relationships too. Medic and Ruby gave me some advice, to pray that he finds his way, and that that in turn would release me from the bitterness. Let's hope it works :) | |
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| Do You Forgive?
Posted: 8/19/2005 8:42:18 AM | Lets see..I will forgive...forget- No...There are things that can never be forgotten and betraying someones love and trust is one of them. I won't bring it up unless she does...that is my rule. But I will never forget what she did to me.
Depending on how I feel about the person- I might just kick her to the curb and make sure that the guy can't procreate for a while :) 
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ccv
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Joined: 8/18/2005
Msg: 37 | |
| Do You Forgive?
Posted: 8/21/2005 9:14:10 AM | betrayal is betrayal.. Nope i have never done it and i wouldnt allow anyone a second chance to do it to me | |
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| Do You Forgive?
Posted: 8/21/2005 10:41:09 PM | NOPE U ARE HISTORY FAST!!!! if i catch someone in the act, or close to that, i walk, no questions asked...more FISH in the sea
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Scot45
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Joined: 7/24/2005
Msg: 39 | |
| Do You Forgive?
Posted: 8/22/2005 3:27:44 PM | | Forgive, sure, get back with, nope, why, once the act has been done by someone, the entire respect for you is shattered, and nothing will ever be the same, and if you have respect for yourself, you certainly wouldn't have any taking back someone who showed total disrespect for you, so yes you can forgive the person for destroying what you both once had, but nothing will ever repair the damage, so walk away and be the bigger person by forgiving them for disrespecting you and go FISHING for a better fish in the sea! | |
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| Do You Forgive?
Posted: 8/22/2005 9:22:41 PM | If it was just a kiss maybe i could forgive that but any sexual ... no way in hell!!! Once a cheater always a cheater...
To quote a few things from the book Hes Just Not That Into You (These will work for either sex)
"Lets call cheating what it is .. a complete betrayal of trust"
"It just happened is just an excuse.. no one just slips and falls in bed with someone"
"Whatever problems you may have been ahving in your relationship, they dont merit his having sex with someone else. Dont ask what you did wrong, Dont share the blame" | |
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| Do You Forgive?
Posted: 8/22/2005 11:59:59 PM | a big NO NO!
its not just a matter of a kiss or sex or just physical sweetie, cheating breach o' trust is the biggest sin! you take your relationship for granted and shove it in the corner and you face the betrayal later! all self done i guess!
well, i sometimes wonder if love is worth fighting for, and then i remember my lover's face and buck up for any war! but then when you forgive and let him go would do a lot good to you and the kids too... let them getta know the fact! a cheater is a cheater is a cheater anyhow, however, with whom ever he moves... right?  | |
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| Do You Forgive?
Posted: 8/23/2005 1:23:31 AM | When that much trust is broken - it would take a lot to repair it - and I don't think it can be. I have had it done to me - and I lost so much respect for that person - I just couldn't get it back.
I look at my parents, who just celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary - they were eachothers firsts, only's and will be their lasts. If they can go 50 years and not cheat - I cannot see why it is so hard now to go at least 10 years, or even a friggin year! (and my mom dated Robert Goulet - and she still waited until she was married!).
I know society is friggin more screwed up than it was when they met - but there have got to be some people out there with morals... | |
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| Do You Forgive?
Posted: 8/23/2005 5:56:37 AM | Forgiveness is the gift you give yourself.
To hold a grudge only hurts you. | |
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| Do You Forgive?
Posted: 8/23/2005 6:05:37 AM | ^^^^To hold a grudge takes lots of energy that should be used to built relations. Yes, OTB, to forgive is a gift to oneself.
__That is how I kept my relation going for 18 years. Forgive.
Doc  | |
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| Do You Forgive?
Posted: 8/23/2005 6:36:54 PM | | Ya, but if you forgive without doing anything about it - whats to say that the person is not going to do it again? Some people just have things 'built' into them, and they cannot change. I talk from experience. | |
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| Do You Forgive?
Posted: 8/24/2005 12:58:40 AM | | cheating to me is equivelant to a punch in the face...no respect...sure it heals but youd learn to stay out of arms reach right? relationship=trust.......if ya cant trust em why bother | |
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| Do You Forgive?
Posted: 8/24/2005 4:39:36 AM | | I have had it happen again...just recently. It was a new 'acquaintance' and we decided to see each other...nothing emotional. We also agreed that we could DATE others but if it was going to become sexual, then we would end it with each other first. He didn't...he told me about the 'bi curious' woman he dated two days earlier and spent the night with, and then asked me how my 'gay' girlfriend is and if I talked to her recently. I just looked at him like is was from mars....oh right...men are from mars. Told him he could go home now cause I don't want what she's got. Finit! Endo! Buh Bye! | |
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| Do You Forgive?
Posted: 8/24/2005 1:35:24 PM | | i dont think ive ever been cheated on , but im a firm believer that once a cheat always a cheat so no,,,i would not forgive. | |
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| Do You Forgive?
Posted: 9/4/2005 5:17:54 AM | | Ijust dealt with this - and no - I do not forgive - well maybe in time - but not forget. | |
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| Do You Forgive?
Posted: 9/4/2005 9:40:59 AM | | It's been awhile, but I still see my ex around(small town living).She cheated on me once with an ex boyfriend. In the meantime she had to move into a new place in the middle of the cold winter.I couldn't see her struggling so much, and the other guy was just a one or two nighter, he didn't care too much. Three months after She moved I actually moved in with her and for a year and a half, all was going well till my new business started to struggle. She started hanging out with new "friends". One guy she did housekeeping for named"Uncle Dave" started buying her gifts,season pass ski tickets,computer all sorts. Well, within a month she was spending the night at his house and calling me from there while lying about where she was. No I can't forgive infidelity and lies when it comes from someone you hold and love so dear. We kept sleeping together for the next 8 months, she told me "uncle" was not in her life and told him the same about me. Why lie to someone who cres so much about you? | |
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