| Do You Forgive?
Posted: 9/11/2005 9:30:48 PM | Personally i believe in communication, and since i wouldn,t close that door i do not think that any reason would be forgivable.. | |
|
ZIM
|
Joined: 9/12/2005
Msg: 77 | |
| Do You Forgive?
Posted: 9/13/2005 10:42:21 AM | Forgive nothing.
My ex cheated with a co worker.
No discussion is needed onmy part. I left her the house the dogs and the 2 cars.
I want no part of someone who only wants me part time.
Not one single argumentitive word came from me. Within an hour I was moved out and never once called her. She left many messages with family and my friends.
But, cheating.... . I have never done it .. and that one time happening to me, I did not like.
No forgiveness. I feel it is hte biggest thing you can do to hurt anyone.
rationalizing it just cheapens the realtionship even more. | |
|
| Do You Forgive?
Posted: 9/13/2005 10:57:19 AM | I'm really not the type to "forgive and forget".
That being said; we can always make it good...
again.
I hope? *gulp*
If not; then they live with their indiscretions and the stigma/guilt which that indiscretion brings.
| |
|
| Do You Forgive?
Posted: 9/13/2005 11:07:24 AM | "Also, here's a possibly interesting additional question: Could you continue being with somebody who had admitted to you that they had cheated on their ex during that marriage?"
If someone admitted to me that they've cheated in a previous relationship, that would end any further dates right there ,,for me. | |
|
| Do You Forgive?
Posted: 9/13/2005 11:19:38 AM | | No. If they have the nerve to go out and do something knowing its going to hurt someone else, then they dont deserve it. If they arent sure, they should talk about their situation first. No one likes to be told the "alternative" but that is STILL a heck of a lot better than having it thrown at you and often lied about. | |
|
| Do You Forgive?
Posted: 9/13/2005 11:26:55 AM | I agree with lilacprincess....
and why put yourself through the constant 'is he doing it to me?" No one needs that kind of stress and depression.
Let the cheating females and males find eachother, those of us that have more respect for ourselves, our relationships, and those we involve in our lives will live fine without them... | |
|
| Do You Forgive?
Posted: 11/4/2005 2:35:10 PM | | Forgiveness and Mercy has always been my way of thinking, loving and living | |
|
| Do You Forgive?
Posted: 11/4/2005 4:17:51 PM | | Forgiveness is a Choice and eliminates the other person's power over you | |
|
| Do You Forgive?
Posted: 11/5/2005 3:02:23 AM | Seems I am a forgiver, in most cases.
Takes alot to cross my lines,,and if you do, is your own fault.
The goal in everyones life is to be happy, so it seems to be anyway.
So if you are not happy
and not capable of forgiveness
then forget,
you will be much happier!
IF you are capabale of forgiveness,,,you will much more happier as well, and so will others.
One thing ,,get all the facts and proof,,before drawing any conclusion to any situation,,then you may have the right not to forgive and forget!!!!!
If you can't take the time to try and understand or get the actual truth you have no right, but if you take that time,,YOU DO!!
NEVER assume,,,assumtions can be very deterimental!! | |
|
| Do You Forgive?
Posted: 11/5/2005 7:04:08 AM | | I forgive to set myself free. That doesn't always mean that I will want a continuing relationship. Sometimes forgiving and forgetting don't go hand in hand. | |
|
| Do You Forgive?
Posted: 11/5/2005 8:07:07 AM | | No i will never forgive the friggin women in my past.Thanks to them i have several problems.As a result i gave up on women when i turned 30.I careless...I found out you cannot be nice..And for the people out there do not tell me my life travels..YOu have no friggin ideal.I could write a book on this.SO DO NO TELL ME...You have your life travels and i have mine. | |
|
| Do You Forgive?
Posted: 11/5/2005 8:10:09 AM | | I am sorry that you have been hurt in the past. IMHO, you will have whatever problems you have now as long as you insist on blaming them on someone else and refuse to take responsiblity for fixing them. I'm not saying it's your fault that you have problems, but it is your life that is being hurt and therefore it is up to you how you want to respond. That's why I find forgiveness to be freeing, it allows me to carry on with my life. | |
|
| Do You Forgive?
Posted: 11/5/2005 8:23:17 AM | | To each his own^^^What went on in your life in the past i have no ideal.Just like you have no ideal what has been in my life..Sorry i cannot control another actions to what they have done.If you can control anothers actions...Well let me know your secret....As far as responsbility.You sound like the rest of society,And that is if you trust somebody to do what is right and they screw over you.Then it makes it my fault...Pretty typical...But no more.I rather be a hermit than have to deal with that again.....You have your opinion and i have mine...Lets keep it that way | |
|
| Do You Forgive?
Posted: 11/5/2005 12:29:24 PM | | I can forgive a lot of things and always try to work out an arguement but one thing I can never forgive is someone who cheats. That is the ultimate show of disrespect and I have had it happen to me more than once. I felt so betayed and all the trust for that person was gone. I just could not stay with them after that and I don't care what the excuse was as there is no excuse. You knew what you were doing before you did it and while you were doing it you knew you were with someone else. Anyways its just one of the things I live by and that is that no matter what you just don't cheat. I should be able to trust my partner and know that the guys she is hanging out with are truely just her freinds and nothing will ever happen. Anyways thats about all I have to say so you all have a very good day... | |
|
| Do You Forgive?
Posted: 11/5/2005 1:24:39 PM | Forgiving is more about you than the other person. You can forgive, put it behind you, and move on, or you can wallow in your past and be bitter towards every other possible match in the future. The choice is yours. But forgiving is good for your own soul. Otherwise you just gave that person power to control your emotions and make you feel like poo anytime they want. Let go...be happy.
Ozzie | |
|
| Do You Forgive?
Posted: 11/5/2005 1:26:42 PM | I think it all depends on the person. I can forgive , and did.I think it all depends on how much in love with that other person you are. I feel that when your in love that deep, not much of anything that other person can do , can change your feelings about that person.
David | |
|
| Do You Forgive?
Posted: 11/5/2005 1:28:46 PM | If there can be no forgiveness , there can be no moving on.
David | |
|
| Do You Forgive?
Posted: 11/5/2005 2:25:22 PM | | Like your past does not have anything to do your future.Pretty typical.This is 99.9% of society thinks.That is your opinion..But after been frig around all your life you begin to think different....I had a brother commited sucide because of a frig up woman did not know what the hell she wanted.But thanks to her he is dead...AND DO NOT HAND ME THAT IS WHAT HE CHOOSE TO DO....HE DID NOT JUST WAKE UP ONE MORNING TO KILL HISSELF(Like she did not have nothing to do with it)SO DO NOT TELL ME!!!You have no friggin ideal what kind of person he was...And if you think i can forgive her,THEN you must live in the land of OZ......HE was a honest hard working guy...And then she decides to fu-k around with a drug dealer.(Which my brother did not do drugs)She did not either...But i already know you as a society will lay the blame on him.Which is typical...Which most people put the blame on the innocent bystander...Who cares about what the screw up person is doing...All for me attitude!!!!!!!!!! | |
|
| Do You Forgive?
Posted: 11/23/2008 2:44:50 PM | | I forgave a cheating girlfriend once only to have it backfire on me. She ended up cheating on me again. I don't think I'll be so forgiving in the future. | |
|
| Do You Forgive?
Posted: 11/23/2008 3:12:28 PM | Do I forgive? .. hm ..
Years ago I would have stated NO chance in hell. Then I grew up and realised that it depends. What role did I play in the demise of a relationship that led to such an action? Today I may forgive ... but never would I forget. Which means I'd probably still move on but with a lighter heart and no bitterness (again, depending on the situation)Cheating is almost always the final straw of a larger problem ... imo | |
|
| Do You Forgive?
Posted: 11/23/2008 3:57:01 PM | | Forgiving is a tough proposition for most people and givin enough time it will help the healing if you were really done wrong. It can be a very tough thing for some people. I always forgive, because I found it helps heal a festering heart and helps get rid of the bad mojo bouncing around in the soul. | |
|
| Do You Forgive?
Posted: 11/23/2008 4:13:25 PM | I am with you on that one, I think there is always 2 sides to most stories and mostly someone would only cheat when things are not going so well for them at home. However what the partner might not think is going well for them to get them to the point of cheating, the other 1 thinks things are great and there are no problems or they might be aware that there are problems within the relationship and not realising how bad it actually is.
My ex cheated, can I move on to another successful relationship?? Heck yes!! I didn't do it but I also know that it took the 2 of us for our marriage to get to the point that he felt the need to find something in someones elses arms whether it be just plain sex or more. Can we stay together afterwards?? No too much damage has obviously been done to have even allowed it to get to that point.
So I hope what I come out of that with is more understanding on what it takes to make a relationship/marriage hopefully not get to that point. Everything that happens in life is about learning from it and moving forwards. | |
|
| Do You Forgive?
Posted: 11/23/2008 4:19:50 PM | | Haven't yet and likely never will. | |
|
| Do You Forgive?
Posted: 11/23/2008 8:31:58 PM | If you believe that marriage is a sacrament then you try to rebuild your marriage if you are given the opportunity. If you have children and wish to salvage an intact family for them then you make every effort at reconciliation if you are given the opportunity. Save for those two very important elements I would cut and run from a cheater like a scalded cat. Life is too short for dealing with infidelity unless you have an overarching reason to try to get past it.
I believe that with God's grace all things are possible. I cannot understand how I could ever trust my estranged wife again let alone love or respect her. But I also cannot understand how God made the universe from nothing so my problem is relatively small!:)
It takes two giving 100% though to recover from adultery. If the cheater will not committ to reform you might as well cut your losses. | |
|
| Do You Forgive?
Posted: 11/25/2008 10:00:16 AM | I've learned it doesn't pay to forgive early on in life.
I forgave once, learned he cheated again. At that point I'd have to have been an idiot not to walk away.
To steal a line " that cheater took a full stock of you qualities, your beauty, everything you have to offer, then thought to himself 'I'll pass' and made a conscious decision to hurt and betray you and the relationship you have".
I am worth better than that.
Staying for the kids?? Now that's the biggest scam ever.
Kids learn by observation.
I did not want to teach my son living with abuse is okay, that one can dish out abuse onsequence free, that spouse will stay no matter what.
There is no such thing as "it happened". I've yet to see an "accident" where people "trip and f*ck" unintentionally.
Cheating is a decision and has a consequence attached to it. | |
|
Home
login 
