| Do You Forgive?
Posted: 7/11/2009 6:05:05 PM | | you said it alllllll TinkNPink , nooooo forgiving for that not in my world | |
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| Do You Forgive?
Posted: 7/11/2009 9:02:15 PM | Forgive, yes.
Forget, no.
The problem is that trust, once violated, is never fully regained. | |
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| Do You Forgive?
Posted: 7/12/2009 8:47:03 AM |
The problem is that trust, once violated, is never fully regained.
I totally agree with that. I also don't think I could forgive. | |
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| Do You Forgive?
Posted: 7/12/2009 7:24:38 PM | | I always told my man, "If I don't ask, don't tell". And I have never asked. If I am still loved and treated the same way as always, I don't care. | |
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| Do You Forgive?
Posted: 7/12/2009 7:31:29 PM | That I won't forgive cause cheating means he's a sneak... can't turn your back on him let alone trust him.
I forgive other things as I know, I am not perfect either. | |
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jbogie
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Joined: 9/30/2008
Msg: 106 | |
| Do You Forgive?
Posted: 7/13/2009 7:22:41 AM | | i have never understood the concept of forgiving. seems silly to me when i think about it. whether cheating or whatever, i take everything that somebody does to harm me like this assuming they express remorse and ask forgivness. "ok, you did me wrong. you admit it. good, don't do it a gain and maybe things will get back to the way the were." is that forgiveness? i'd say no but that's how it's going to be. | |
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| Do You Forgive?
Posted: 7/13/2009 12:52:53 PM | | What I think you ^ don't understand is that forgiveness is much more for you, not them. | |
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| Do You Forgive?
Posted: 7/13/2009 6:16:25 PM | | I did forgive once, and got burned! I am not willing to go through that again. I dont hold it against anyone who does forgive a cheating spouse, but I did it once, and it wasnt the smartest thing I ever did. | |
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| Do You Forgive?
Posted: 7/15/2009 6:24:57 PM | I can't remember who said it, but I know I once heard it said:
"Forgiveness is a reflex for when you can't stand what you know."
That made sense to me. I live by it. Consequently, I find myself alone, but at least I have the satisfaction of facing who is in the mirror at the end of the day. | |
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| Do You Forgive?
Posted: 7/15/2009 11:28:39 PM | To me, it depends on the person and the relationship. My first wife never cheated on me but my second one did. It took six months before I found out about it, though, and by that time she had stopped anyway. It had only been a one time instance while I was out of town visiting my family. If things had been good between us and I still loved her enough then yes, I would've forgiven her. But the news came at a bad time. I had been laid off and was going to college full time plus. Yet at the same time we were arguing every day. Sometimes it was at the tops of our lungs and everything else. I'm a lover and not a fighter. I hated the situation I was in. Every day when she got home after me my skin would crawl because I knew we'd be fighting again soon. I just couldn't take it anymore and I divorced her the following Monday.
In another relationship I had, it was me who wasn't ready to settle down like she was. She was older than me and was ready for the long lasting commitment but I wasn't. I ended up cheating on her a few times. She only knew about one of them, though. It turns out that you don't leave a videotape of you having sex with another women on her bed and on her computer. Anyway, eventually she forgave me and we got back together. Knowing what all I put her through and still sticking by my side, on the most part, helped me to realize that she was the one. We were engaged for about a year and we've been married for about two months now. I've never cheated on her since either. I remember what I put her through and I remember the pain that I put myself through when she left me. I wouldn't want to take that chance again.
Ed
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