| If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 8/19/2005 9:32:51 AM | scars are a fact of life to MANY people. I wear mine proudly as evidence of my life experiences....they are as much a part of me as any other body part! I had open heart surgery at age 13 which left a large scar running right down the middle of my chest just as I hit puberty. Then I had two catherizations which left scars on my right forearm and left leg. Next came the pregnancy which gave me those lovely stretch marks as well as the scar from my C-section. Most recently I had an umbilical hernia and had to have it repaired. You guessed it! A new scar on my belly button! Ha ha ha! | |
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MollyM
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Joined: 4/16/2005
Msg: 28 | |
| If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 8/19/2005 3:02:50 PM | I was driving when my car was involved in a crash. My passenger was killed. I survived with a fractured skull, broken bones and needed more than 160 stitches to close the cut from my eyebrow to my mouth and across my cheek. It left me with paralysis on the left side of my face... BUT I survived! After months of therapy, I was able to achieve some semblance of symmetry and I developed some new facial expressions. The following year, when I was ready to have surgery to repair the scars, my doctor and I both agreed that we would leave it as it was. I was lucky - I was still alive. I healed well and I could still smile. The marks on my face became part of my character.
Many years and many experiences later, I've come to accept that there will be people who will only ever see surface beauty. Fortunately though, I've also learned, there are people who look past the surface to experience the real beauty within. When Fate doesn't intervene - you get to choose your own paths in life. As you go, you get to choose what is important. If it is a flawless route you map out for yourself, you'll miss out on all the character beauty (often put there for your own lessons) along the way.
Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting "Holy sh*t..... what a ride!!"  | |
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| If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 8/19/2005 4:45:06 PM | | I don't think anyone who cares about you will even see those marks. There is alot more to being perfect than just looks. A beautiful heart goes alot farther than looks will ever carry you. As far as your personal feelings about the scars, that's something you need to change. Nobody can do that for you. | |
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| If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 8/19/2005 5:21:58 PM | This has to be one of the most mature and well written threads I have read on this site. Kudos to all the posters for their warmth, honesty and sensitivity.
A person's scars ( and as they age, their laughter lines) tell the story of their lifes, embrace them and the person owning them. The messages in this thread could also hold for other situations too, something to read and ponder... | |
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| If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 8/19/2005 6:04:12 PM | | paddergal Thanks for that wonderful touching post. You're so right this has been a great thread it's nice to see people with warmth and compassion and understanding. I'd also like to add my thanks to the OP and all who posted here. Your kind words have truly warmed my heart. This is one of the things that makes POF such a worthwhile place to be. Sometimes we get to see people at their best, and that's always a good thing. God bless you all. | |
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| If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 8/20/2005 5:52:04 AM | poor thing......your scars are on the outside not inside. you are beautiful the way you are. i had lung surgery and have a nasty scar on my chest. i say so what.......the man will love you for who you are. please please get over the scar thing. i have my faith and i am a very confident woman. if they don't like what we look like then go on to somebody who appreciates you. God Bless you
ciao
judy | |
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| If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 8/20/2005 7:55:09 AM | with posts like these, it's not hard to see there are still alot of good,kind and compassionate people.
shimmer, the posts here is proof that everyone has scars of one type or another. we all had to deal with them and then say ok they are a part of me now, and hold our head up and say screw everyone that has a problem with it.
some have worse scars then others but EVERYONE has overcome the reson for those scars.
don't let someone else make you judge yourself as they have judged you. hold your head up high and be proud of who you are and what you have overcome. anyone that does not like it,
well.... god made our head to swival for a reason,tell them to use that ability.
good luck to you.
bucs: you my friend are an insperation to all who knows you,you are such a wonderful person
and i thank you for making me feel so welcomed here on pof. i'm just sorry you live so very far away lol so (((hugs )))) on here will just have to do 
ecb
oh yea and 's for the rest of you as well gb all of you | |
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| If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 8/20/2005 8:31:27 AM | Don't let those scars bother you in any way "Shimmer". If a guy can only value a woman for how they look, then he is far more imperfect than you are and not worth your time. I speak from experience in that I was hit by a drunk driver a little over 10 years ago and had my right leg broken in about 12 places and a few of the breaks compounded. I have some scars on my shin that are quite interesting to say the least. If a guy I am going out with comments that they are a "turn off" - I turn him off REAL QUICK.
Be proud that you are the wonderful person you seem to be and do not let the shallow, self-centered jerks in this world get you down. What is worth caring about is the inside, not the outside. Looks fade with age, and the inner person gets more beautiful.
Be happy "Shimmer" and proud of yourself. | |
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| If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 8/20/2005 8:53:46 AM | Shimmer, battle wounds are sexy, if sad in how they were acquired. Anybody that can't get past that isn't worth a damn, it is a part of the total you.
At least forewarn them though if they are big enough to be an attention getter, that will save awkward sudden surprises. | |
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| If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 8/20/2005 11:26:20 AM | Thankyou Paddlergal. I believe I did bring up a good subject here. Everyone on here has been great. I have recieved some awesome responses. I want everyone on here to know that you all have helped me. I believe we all have issues that we need to talk about and we all need people to listen. I was able to gain more confidence from all of you and I know this to be true because I opened my shirt for the guy I have been seeing.........I told him if he didn't like it then oh well because it is part of me......well he had no problem with it to say the least.....  I feel so much better because of all of you. I can't begin to thankyou guys enough. I think I won't have to hide them so much anymore. There are so many caring warm people out there. I am so glad I found some of them on here. | |
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| If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 8/20/2005 3:57:05 PM | hey, i'm in the same boat, i got in a bad car accident last october and broke my upper femur (the bone in your thigh) and i've had like 4 surgeries since then.....i have 3 scars down the side of my leg (all about 2 in long) and theyre really disgusting...........but i have very long lean/in shape legs, actually all of my life people (especially men) have complimented me on them.
one night i was complaining about it to my boyfriend and his friend dave was there and he told me to "wear them like i aint never wore anything before, those are your "war wounds" it shows the true colors of you and everything you've been through"..........i gave it some thought, and to be honest if you think with a positive attitude about it, it wont seem that bad, and some ppl may not even notice (hard to believe TRUST ME I KNOW) | |
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| If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 8/20/2005 4:04:03 PM | I totally undertand how you feel. I have had a few surgeries that have left me with scars, all can only be seen under clothing. Most men have not had any issue with it. I am very honest about it up front, one guy here did tell me he was no longer interested in me after he found out about my scars. He said that marks on a woman's body such as scars and stretch marks creep him out, my first thought was "Why the heck did you email a 32 year old mother of 2 instead of a 20 year old then?" LOL Better off to know that up front. Hey if a man cannot accept all of me 100% then we probably should not be together.
Thanks for sharing your story, I know how hard it is to feel "different" or "less desirable" because we have scars but what I have found is that is our feelings and not 99% of the men out there. | |
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| If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 8/21/2005 7:30:28 PM | if i was ta run into a feller who didnt have any scars by tha time he was close ta my age.....well, shootfire but i'd prolly toss him back in cuz he hadnt lived enuff!
an fer tha dude that posted about facial scars.....let me tell ya somethin brother...as a child,
i had 18 stitches from a facial dog bite....looked like tha child of frankenstien growin up...an at 16 i was a ringling bros showgirl, (high school graduate at 15) and by 18 i was modelin makeup.......in my 30s i did live an canned tv shows for cypress gardens theme park.....an nope i never had cosmetic surgery fer it..........i just adjusted my attitude... worked wonders, it did!
tha rest of me is covered in scars too..after all i was an exotic animal trainer fer quite a few years, specializin in raptors and reptiles, had 3 kids, two bouts with cancer, 5 surgeries with tha cancer, and survived bein beaten and burnt on over 30% of my body during an attack, and even a 22 hollow point to tha stomach..an out my back...yeah i gotta few scars...they come in handy when ya play connect tha dots
an my latest bathin suit...well my 22 year old daughter borrowed it yesterday....its a bright red & white bikini that is so skimpy i gotta pull it up in tha back so my crack dont show....hahaha....but i figger i am gettin a lil old ta be wearin thongs.... | |
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| If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 8/21/2005 8:09:19 PM | | I have scars too. Everyone will have them sooner or later. I am amazed at the things I have heard and read here. I feel much closer to those of you who have shared so openly from the heart. You are the reason I stick around this place. You ladies inspire me ...you really do! | |
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| If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 8/21/2005 8:24:02 PM | It's tough to get through life without getting any scars, be they internal or on the surface. You're a survivor, shimmer, and so are many others here...you've lived through some horrible treatment and are able to stand up and move on. I call that miraculous...I call that powerful.
I am often amazed to see what some people have gone through that are here sharing themselves; the nightmares some have lived, and yet each one of you are still willing to reach out and connect with people somehow. It impresses me to no end, and the strength of your spirit is to be applauded.
Your scars are a sign that no matter what hell you've endured, you are still alive...still healing, still growing, and still living and still willing to press onward with life. There's nothing there that's going to make me or any good-hearted person look at you any differently or negatively. I can understand why you'd feel uncomfortable with them, but I know with time that uncomfortableness will fade....you and many of the others here are survivors, and very worthy of even better things in life that are still ahead. You'll find that confidence again....of this I am certain. | |
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skylab
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Joined: 12/11/2004
Msg: 48 | |
| If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 8/21/2005 8:34:03 PM | ********************************************************************************************************************************************
Shimmerfree,
I haven't read all of the replies, but here are some things for you to work on understanding-- I mean *really* understanding, okay?
1) Those scars are now part of who you are. They tell a story about some very difficult times in your life. Your companion should understand that, and provide succor to you on overcoming your self-conciousness about them;
2) If a man has problems accepting those scars as part of you, now, what do you think he is going to do if you were ever disfigured in an accident, or got cancer?
Any man that can't accept those scars (and others) isn't worth your time.
And, you, dear lady, need to know that you are beautiful and precious to the right kind of man, and you need to carry yourself with pride, and be more selective in your choice of companions.
I hope your ex- went to jail for that...otherwise, his safety might be in jeopardy, knowing some of the other, decent men on this site.
-Derek
"...live your life so that others are glad that you lived..." | |
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T_REXX
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Joined: 8/20/2005
Msg: 49 | |
| If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 8/21/2005 9:07:12 PM | Anger management therapy?
ladydi8
Joined: 1/31/2005
Msg: 51
view profile
If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 8/21/2005 9:05:33 PM
"Women with extreme abuse histories can not interact with men on a possitive basis."
wtf? sounds like someones been eatin fungus from tha cowpies again..... | |
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