| If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 8/23/2005 8:57:54 AM | It wouldn't bother me in the least.
Just because you have some scars doesn't change who you are, it does not make you less of a person. And given time they will fade.
If you bank some money you can have them lasered to make them less noticeable.
The men, who may be bothered by it, are not men you want in your life.
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| If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 8/28/2005 9:51:45 PM | @ shimmerfree77 that is a horrible thing you went through and have to liive with.
I have scars from surgery to correct a physical disability. It took me a long time to be ok with my body, but I finally am and I have never had a problem with finding men who can look beyond the physical scars and limitations. I am lucky I have had good relationships in my life where I felt accepted as I am and those men are still good friends even though dating did not work out.
Self-acceptance is part of healing. I found that when I became ok with myself others followed suite. I don't know if you will ever fully heal the emotional damage but it is really important that you keep trying...
I think it took guts to post this thread too...
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eira30
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Joined: 1/19/2004
Msg: 80 | |
| If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 8/28/2005 10:09:10 PM | Dear Shimmer,
Personally I would have no problem with any scars. Really we all have scars, either outside or inside. But, someone who is so superficial that they cannot see past the scars is not worth the time. After all, our bodies are just vessels that carry our heart and soul and mind. You may have a lack of confidence because of some scars, but, there are so many other things to be confident about, like; integrity, honesty, compassion, and the list goes on. Be confident about who you are, do not let superficial people get to you. | |
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| If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 9/24/2005 2:49:43 PM | Shimmer...I can understand how you feel, though my scar is from surgery. But it sounds as though it may bother you also, and not just because a man might see it. I can relate to that as well. No, having a scar shouldn't bother someone else, if they care about you, but unfortunately it does bother some of them...and those are the types you don't want. But it's possible that your worry about it can be affecting how you act, or placing more importance on it that he might otherwise have. There are a number of remedies to help with scarring, so if you haven't looked into it, you may want to and see if there's anything that would help.
If you go to http://www.scar-treatment-review.com/ and http://www.makemeheal.com/mmh/product/scar_reduction/index.vm?procid=42 there's some information that might help.
Best of luck to you. You're a beautiful woman, and it sounds like that beauty is on the inside as well as the outside. | |
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| If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 9/24/2005 7:21:35 PM | Shimmerfree
If a guy finds you unatracive because you have a few small scars thats there problem and they are not worth dating. It is pretty near impossible to go through life without geting a cut a bruise or a scar. We all have mishaps and surgerys and who the hell says its an imperfeciton. (There are actually some primative tribes in africa that cut themselves to show they have courage.) In my opinion people who dont have at least one scar are pussies and have no backbone. Is it really going to matter when we are old and wrinkled and our boobs and butts start sagging
I myself have a few small scars and I have shown people them and they still think I am attractive. I have done lots of extreme sports like rugby, mountain biking, caving, climbing and have had various injuries and have gone to get stiches. Some of my scars I am proud of (because it shows I have courage and a backbone) Some Im not so proud of. Often it is the event associated with the scar wich leads people to be self concious. I know what you are feeling. I whent through a period when I would not go swimming because I did not like people to see the cuts and bruises I have. At least when I am an old man I can show my gradchildren my war wounds and they will look at me with wonder and amazement. This is a hell of alot better that being a fruitcake calvin klein underwear model all your life | |
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| If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 9/24/2005 8:55:30 PM | I've got a scar on my chin, chest, right hand (three dots and a line), and right leg. Each one has a story and I wouldn't get rid of any of them.
Of course if a person is rude enough to come right out and ask without even knowing me, they may get a slightly elaborated story lol | |
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| If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 9/24/2005 9:02:47 PM | be proud of who you are.. heck talk about scars. I have a number of scars.. i have a csection scar.. i have my appendix scar.. and I have a scar from sugery to my stomach the scar runs down the middle of my chest to almost my belly buton.. on top of that.. i have a scar on my lower back from the removal of a tumor.. and tons of strech marks and hanging skin.. would I go out in a bikini.. no.. is it due to the way I look no..I just don't like to wander around 1/2 dressed.. but i'm am who i am.. and don't have issues with my scars or my body..
just remember you are who you are.. scars and all be proud its all good.. :) | |
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| If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 10/14/2005 7:06:14 AM | >>Personally I don't have a problem with girls with scar or marks as long as they are not right on their face.
I don't even care about that. I mean, if her entire face is affected, like mel gibson in that movie where he was burned--that might be a problem for me.
But an ordinary scar on her face? Nope, wouldn't bother me. | |
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| If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 10/14/2005 7:16:34 AM | i would hope that a guy that really cares 4 me dates me and accepts all of me including my old battle scars(strech marks),nicks,cuts, and bruises, crude spelling, occasional "ocd", giggle fits, pouting at times, and so on if not i suggest he dates that super intelligent super perfect super model next door to; mr.perfect,mr.too hot for his own good, ms. rich-perfectionist.
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soja mas | |
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| If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 10/14/2005 8:45:27 AM | | Shim, I for am not one to judge someone on things such a scar or something like that since I don't care for being judged just because I'm big. You are who you are and I might add, you look great, and any guy worth having would not judge you in any way, shape or form. You just be true to yourself and the right guy will come along and love you...as is! | |
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| If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 10/14/2005 3:00:30 PM | shimmerfree77, You are a beautiful woman with a awesome personality for what I had pick up from reading you... there is nothing you should worry. scars happen, I feel bad to hear that you were attach by this mad man, and hearing about bucgirl case as well as all the women out there that had been victim of this abuses... Violence is bad enough, but when it came from someone close it is even worst. This guys truly ashame all of us as men... They make life and dating even harder, because women make not trust on us anymore.
anyhow... shimmerfree77, do not worry about your scars, I personally don't care about them, I will date a woman regarless, all what it matters is in her heart and her views of life. If she care for me and I care for her, nothing else matters. | |
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| If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 10/14/2005 3:15:37 PM | | blauknight I can only speak for myself, but I would not allow that to affect my view of men or my ability to trust and love them and let them love me again. I have had several relationships that didn't work out, not trust issues and nothing to do with violence. That was one man that did that, not all men are the same and why would I deny myself the ability or the chance to find love again? I dealt with my trauma with the support and love of my children and friends and parents. I did not date during that time until I could honestly feel that I was recovered emotionally and whole enough to be able to give and receive love again. I wouldn't have expected or asked a man to have helped me deal with that, we're all worthy of having someone who's emotionally healthy to start fresh. | |
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| If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 10/14/2005 4:34:12 PM | | Thank you bucsgirl, I should have say some women, I did not mean to generalize.Anyhow... I would date a woman regardless of scars, physical or emotional, and she would have my support regardless. I feel most of us feel like that. I hope all the women out there could get the message. We want you for who you are and for what you may became. everyone had scars, one type or another, many including myself had both. Life is not about reaching the end with a breathtaking perfect body, but is about getting there with scars and all the scratches yelling out loud "What a ride!!!!!" all is about the ride. so lets put all the bad times behind us and enjoy the ride, lets go fishing :) | |
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| If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 10/14/2005 4:44:24 PM | I have been battling skin problems for several yrs. It has left my skin scared/marked/red patches. Since this, I get no compliments on my looks. I used to get a lot. So, sadly, I think it does matter to people. I hope I am wrong.
Good news tho! I'm going for laser surgery soon! This will help a lot. | |
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| If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 10/14/2005 5:25:08 PM | blau The bad times are in the past, and I LOVE the ride!!
good2 I've read enough of your posts to know when I see a beautiful soul. Honestly I think you're a great looking man. Your eyes show tenderness and strength, your face is awesome. The woman that is deserving of a truly great guy like you will caress your face tenderly with her hands and look into those deep beautiful eyes and smother you with kisses. Do you know Babylonia? She's a mod and she posted an acne thread, she's going through the same thing. Do the search for her thread, it may benefit you to read it. But people of substance recognize other people of substance. Skin is just an outer covering, yes it's important to you, my skin in places has scars from an attack. A jagged scar across my throat, I have a long, very sexy neck. I love it to be kissed and touched. The scar didn't change that, it's just how I look now. My neck is still beautiful and sexy and will be kissed and touched, your face is the same. If I could I would sit and look at you tenderly hold your face in my hands gently and smile. I hope this makes sense and makes you feel better, you SO deserve that. And I'd gladly do that. | |
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