| If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 10/14/2005 5:43:53 PM | Hey Shimmer, hugs to you for all that you have survived and overcome! Try to look at scars as the abstract art that life leaves on our physical bodies and look for the beauty in them. I've worked with many women over the years who bore the marks of violence and through visual art mediums, have shown them a different view of themselves and their battle reminders. Think about the earlier suggestion that was made about having some artistic photographs taken of your skin or have some sketches or a painting done of them. Hell, make a print of your scars using your skin and some acrylic paint, then add some paint to the print and make it into a piece of self-expression. This is the body you've got for this lifetime, so celebrate it for the amazing thing that it is! And also remember that in many tribal societies, ritual scarification is used to mark rites of passage and are viewed with respect and awe. | |
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| If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 12/13/2005 10:46:25 AM | shimmerfree,
One simple answer: NOT AT ALL. A scar is a natural healing process that your skin goes through. It is not like a contagious sickness or anything. If a guy is going to get worked up over something like that then you probably don't want him anyway. If you develop chemistry with anyone, explain what happened. Say hey my ex did this and so on and so forth. If someone accepts you for who you are, something that trivial will not matter. i had a gf who had a few scars once, didn't matter the least to me or her. I have scars of my own on my head. Thats just my opinion though. Unfortunately i cant speak for all the guys. But if you feel good about yourself, these scars are just another part of you. | |
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| If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 1/23/2006 10:06:35 PM | I must say I just love all of you and your opinions. I also must add that because one man did this to me and I have been through other things as well with men, it doesn't stop me from plucking on. I know there are still good men out there in the world somewhere!!!Smile | |
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| If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 1/23/2006 10:15:03 PM | >>>Shimmer
Do you have any idea how beautiful your EYES are?
That special ONE that is meant for you will drown in them and will be blind to anything else.
I have been into racing and extreme all my life. My knees are... Well, have a few scars. They also get kissed the most.
Always Love,
ex-princess. | |
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| If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 1/23/2006 11:22:01 PM | | I'm burned over 70% of my body.I was supposed to be dead-the Irish in me took over(hee hee)...I have no fingernails on my hands and my fingers are partially amputated.I was in hospital for 7 months and a rehab for four to learn to be self suficient (I have been for years) I met a great guy (cute too), after a few yrs he died (leukemia-a shock to me and his family-he didn't know until a month before he passed)...I eventually met a nice guy (and he didn't give a crap about my burns but he ended up arguing with me over his kids,,,)I go to the beach with my burns showing and if people stare I just ignore-unless they make their kids stare and then I just say-"Oh I was in an accident"...I worked at Kindergarten class a few yrs ago and kids are much more understanding than some adults are..Your burns aren'r as bad as mine,go out and if it's hot-wear shorts and a halter top!!!!You deserve to live too! Write to me at my addy and I can send you a copy of the film on Discovery channel which is about me and my burns...we are not burn victims we are burn survivours. | |
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| If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 1/24/2006 9:43:01 AM | | Scars are interesting. They tell a story...no matter how dark or how strange...they still tell a story. Slowly start to feel comfortable with exposing just a few...then a few more...and then finally, you are wearing clothes that you like or feel comfortable in. Once that is done, learn to accept them as " normal " and a part of you...besides, if the man really liked you, no scars will deter him from continuing a relationship with you. | |
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| If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 2/12/2006 8:09:52 PM | Shimmer, I know where you're coming from. I was born with a large birthmark on my cheek, had surgery when I was just a baby to have it removed. Got infected while in hospital and left me with a large scar on my face and neck. I've had to deal with a lot of ignorant people in my lifetime. The way I look at it is this - if someone doesn't want to give me the time of day because I have a scar, then they're the one who is missing out. I'm pretty freakin' fabulous.
You are a beautiful woman, and countrygirl has it right, if he looks at you differently he's definitely not worth your time. | |
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taladu
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Joined: 2/5/2006
Msg: 111 | |
| To the woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 2/12/2006 8:21:02 PM | | I think you should proud of who you are and show wear a bathing suit, and do the things you like doing I feel life is to short not to be proud of who you are and wear the bathing suit and if the man you are with don't think that way then its his lost and not yours. | |
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| If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 2/12/2006 8:30:37 PM | I have to say, I can play too! I was worried about HUGE scars on multiple parts of my body due to several surgeries, but I have to agree with most of the other people I've read...it won't matter if someone truly cares about you. I personally tell whoever I am interested in about my scars pretty quickly...so I can weed out the people who are shallow.
I am with you, sister. Don't feel bad. I met a really nice, honest guy recently and here is a quote from one of our conversations...he said that it is what is on the inside that counts. And for the person who is really deserving of you, he is exactly right. If someone really cared that you have scars, would you even want someone like that? No. So try not to feel bad about it.
I'm sure you are a beautiful person...inside AND out.
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| If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 2/13/2006 1:50:44 AM | scars are sexy, and they fade but the woman is always beautiful unique and sexy, imperfections and all. people should always remember that beauty is subjective, for many the imperfections are what define individuality and beauty. i would be the last one to be upset about a scar.......
if you like tattoos you shouldnt have a problem with scars, piercings same deal. we all scar ourselves in some way a good lover dosent care and embraces individuality.
as we grow older we change dramaticly, the person i want to spend my life with will be loved as a whole, not objectified, or judged.
respect-skip | |
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| If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 2/13/2006 12:09:45 PM | | I also think it makes a person "who they are".. I have a big one on my right knee and one on my back, where it looks like I got shot---I didn't get shot though... REALLY~~~ I think nothing of scars when I see them on another person.. It sometimes tells their life story~~ | |
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| If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 2/13/2006 4:36:16 PM | I often ask people about their scars...
Maybe it's rude, I don't know. But I'm curious.
And if you ignore something about a person, isn't that tantamount to telling them that it's bad or shameful?
I ask where did you get that scar, they answer, and we move on. They know I don't think it's a big deal. | |
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| If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 2/14/2006 7:54:59 AM | SCARS ARE JUST A VISIBLE HISTORY OF LIFE -- ALL HAVE A STORY AND ARE USUALLY A LEARNING EXPERIENCE .......
ITS THE SCARS INSIDE THAT WE CANT SEE, THE ONES THAT LEAVE THE BIGGER MARKS ON OUR SOULS -- THAT WE SHOULD REALLY WONDER ABOUT -- ITS AMAZING HOW AFTER TIME -- MOST RISE TO THE SURFACE -- DONTCHA THINK???? | |
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| If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 2/14/2006 8:23:47 AM | | it took me awhile 13 yesrs in fact to get used to my scars on my leg and forehead,but someone once said they are part of you,what has happened to you and its a great conversation piece lol.I dont think its rude to ask whays happened,its ruder to stare. | |
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| If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 2/14/2006 9:09:17 AM | It's cliche, and it's old, but it's true. - to me, a girl can be 'cute', 'pretty', 'gorgeous' only skin deep. those traits are things that won't be there forever, and if they aern't a good person, a whole person, a 'beautiful' person on the inside, those looks are a waste.
It's true that physical appearance matters, but it's not a deciding factor. It shouldn't influence anyones decision if there is a deeper connection, a chemistry that happens in those dark places that beat and pulse with what really makes us feel alive.
As long as you've got what counts on the inside - a heart filled with love, understanding and respect, a soul that is confident and strong, and a mind that is kind and gentle, wrapped up with a personality that makes people stand up and take notice (even if it's just one person) - then you're gonna do alright.
I've got a huge scar across my abdomen from a botched apendectomy - although the surgery was supposed to be routine, I now have a nine inch ruddy scar that is jagged, uneven and still looks pretty fresh almost a decade later. It looks like I was gutted with a rusty machete. But I wear it proudly. I headed up a waterfront in the 3 years following that surgery, which meant i had to be in a bathing suit all day long, every day for three months every summer - and then some after that. Perhaps because I was forced to, I got comfortable with it. Maybe cause guys are always told that 'chicks dig scars' It didn't bother me that much. All the scars I have - from fights (I was a bouncer, so I have had a few of those), from bike accidents, from surgery - where ever and whatever they might be... they're mine and no one else's.
But I don't look at people differently because they have scars. I'd rather date someone with physical flaws and a perfect personality than a perfect body and a seriously flawed persona, or total lack thereof.
But it's a reality that not everyone out there thinks like this -- and those people aern't worth it.
So, in conclusion, I like Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwiches. | |
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umm1
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Joined: 2/13/2006
Msg: 120 | |
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| If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 2/17/2006 7:51:51 PM | Excellent umm..... It's so true, that many times the ugliest scars are on the inside~~I don't mind if people ask about mine and I don't feel "weird" asking about theirs. My ex had acne scars all over his back and when we first met I wondered if he had been burned in a fire as I didn't know what they were at the time--they're quite bad. I finally asked him, and he told me. He would never take his t-shirt off before that, but afterwards he felt comfortable when I looked, commented and asked about it. His dad didn't care enough to take him to a doctor when he was a teenager, so he lives with the scars. I made sure he realized that it doesn't make him who he "is", it's just a part of him~~ | |
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| If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 2/17/2006 8:33:14 PM |
A long time ago my X threw hot water on me. It left marks on my chest.
How horrible! I'd like to throw acid on that dirtbag. Pretty girl like you.
I know a man wants a perfect looking woman.
We're not all like that. In fact, there are no tuly perfect looking people out there. Like with celebs. You only see them when they look their best. You don't see them when they break out or are bloated or whatever.
A guy who wants a perfect 10 shouldn't hold his breath.
Not on my breasts, but right on my chest and a little on my shoulders. I can't wear the clothes I want to and it really effects my sex life. I don't want a man seeing it because I think he will look at me different. One with no marks. I am a good woman but these marks make me less confident about myself. Should these marks, or any marks make a difference when two people really care about each other? I don't think so, but I know some men do.
I am trying to get over the fact that they are there and you'll just have to except me for who I am,but when I get a man that wants to go to the beach.......well I can't even wear a bathing suit. It just hurts.
If you ever find a guy, tell him about it. Tell him you're self-conscious. If he really likes you, he won't care. He might find it attractive in a way.
And the beach is overrated anyway. | |
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| If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 2/18/2006 4:27:19 PM | your beautifull justas you are.Don't let the outer scars .scar you on the inside as well.
If the scare bother a man he really doesn't care about at all. So I guess hte answer ot oyur question is SCREW HIM!
No actually that is wrong.Don't screw him. | |
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| If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 4/3/2006 9:34:44 PM | | I can relate to your concerns on this one. I was very obese at one time and felt no one liked the way I looked in fact my ex-husband told me it was one of the main reasons he was leaving...claimed I was over weight, unattractive, not femanine or sexy(took him 14 years to figure that out)...he didn't like the way I walked, talked, looked nothing...so the day he left I made a promise to myself to become all that and I set out and lost 130 lbs thinking that I would finally be sexy and beautiful and all that. This was the most humbling experience of my life because in my opinion I only look better in clothes. Sometimes I feel the only reward for all the hard work I put into losing the weight; the hundred of miles I ran, and the lakes of water I drank and the feilds of lettuce I ate, is embarassment and belittlement. Skin loses it's elasticity after years of being stretched too much. Plus I too had a botched apendectomy so at 130-135 lbs now I will not wear a bikini nor do I want to be naked in front of anyone. I am proud of the fact I lost that much weight I know I am healthier for it. (Maybe it's why I'm always smiling, ask anyone I know and they will tell you I am always smiling) Does it matter to men?...Some yes some no..I've had guys just get up and walk away on me because of how I look naked, sad part is these men were sporting a load of laundry on that wash board stomach of theirs and I am glad I never had sex with them because they were not the people I thought them to be...I've lived with 2 men as well since. The 2 I lived with knew well inadvance of my issues and I never slept with them until I was totally convinced they didn't care about it. The last person I was with never seen me totally naked, we never discussed it prior so I never would let it happen and yes it made for some bad sex sometimes because my mind was on the fact that I look so bad. Even tho he made the comment one day "Wow, you'd never know you were ever that fat"...I would never take all my clothes off. I figured I would never see him again. But taking everything into account that has happened to me I am saving my money to have a tummy tuck done because I believe the scar from that will be much easier to deal with. My point is you need to tell them right off the bat about it and if they really like you they will be back and they will keep coming back if they see how wonderfull and great of a catch you are. And when you are comfortable with the fact that he already knows how bad you "feel" you look and he still wants you..you will just naturally let go of it all and not care and the sex will be incredible. Even for him. Trust me I know I see the differences between the 2 I lived with and the last one I dated. Now here's a hug for ya girl you need one ! | |
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