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| If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 8/6/2006 8:46:45 PM | | I had open heart surgery at age 7 in 1960.... so it is not the wonderful little scar people have today. You know what I wear it with pride. I am so freaking glad to have it and the men I have dated do not care. I wear it with pride and always will. My husband for 19 yrs did not mind it at all.... I have gained a few more scars over the yrs from other surgeries... does not matter to the men if they are really a man and care about you. same for the ladies, it should not matter to us if the man we are seeing has scars, get over it , the scars may have saved his life and that is why you are so lucky to be with him at this time! jg | |
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| If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 8/6/2006 9:09:18 PM | You know what? Scars are a part of life , and every one makes you tougher. I have spent the majority of my life farming , Rodeoing, and breaking horses- Even had some major surgeries- Ive got scars from all of it>
I used to worry about what others thought, but I learned that if there not mature enough to handle my scars They cant handle me. | |
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| If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 8/6/2006 9:10:01 PM | Hey shimmerfree77:
That is so, SO sad, that your moran ex, threw hot water on you, that left marks on your chest, and parts of your shoulders.
However, CHIN UP, gal because, it IS NOT, the end of the world, it is NOT.
HE, is the one that LOST, and NOT YOU.
You say that you are a good person, well, let that reflect your real true image, and NOT, your scars.
You sound like a terrific woman, and I bet you ARE.
So the next guy that you meet, let your REAL TRUE inner beauty SHINE, and not just your outer.
If a guy cannot appreciate YOU for YOU, as yourself, and what you are as a woman, and human being, despite I SAY DESPITE your small little flaws of scars, then guess what.
HE, has got the problem, and NOT you, therefore, move on to the NEXT, because, the NEXT, may very well be, the guy that YOU, are the EXACT woman, that HE, is looking for. capeche!
SO CHIN UP, and HOLD YOUR HEAD UP HIGH, you will do fine.
Sincerely
GLBTH | |
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| If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 8/6/2006 10:15:45 PM | You just gotta be happy with yourself..In order to find happiness with somebody else, you first must love yourself no matter what.
I have come to the realization that I am not perfect, but I like myself anyway. I do think I have to lose a little weight, but I am happy with my body wheather I do or not...My mommy tummy is something I am actually proud of, as that came from me carrying my 2 lovely kids and it was worth putting on an extra 25lbs...So, even if I don't lose that...Whatever, if a man can't love me for who I am and is totally wrapped up in what I look like he isn't worth my time. I know some of a happy realtionship there has to be attraction, but if you show that those scars don't bother you, they shouldn't bother a real man who is attracted to everything about you. Good Luck | |
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| If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 8/6/2006 11:57:04 PM | Was in a car accident when I was 10, have some scars on my face, and a couple on one leg. That was a long time ago and I have since learned to live with it. You really have to look to see them. It's when a guy can look past these scars, to see the person inside, that's what matters.  | |
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| If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 8/7/2006 10:12:10 AM | Hi Shimmerfree, I too have bad scars due to a car accident when I was 17, I am now 44. I was in a car that went off the road and flew 30 ft in the air hitting a tree, my friend beside me was killed and the driver walked out with a broken jaw. I was crushed under the dash on my left side, I have a scar from my hip to my ankle that has widened due to too many surgeries, I have a scar across my lower stomach from bad veins, I have a scar down my back, I have had two surgeries on my back and now have steel plates. I also suffer from bad veins due to a thrombosis in my left thigh. I tried to see a plastic surgeon when I was younger but he said that there really nothing he could do for me. I suffer from post traumatic anxiety attacks and have no self confidence. I am currently in a seperation process with the man I have been married to for 26 yrs. I do have other friends and I have a couple of good male friends, one I have just started a relationship with, he says the scars or viens don't bother him but I am still shy and won't let him see them. I don't wear a bathing suit or shorts or skirts (since my accident) I don't know what the future holds for me and I have to go for vienograms every couple of years to make sure the blood is flowing properly. My left leg swells badly sometimes due to the damage. I am a very outgoing person and I love to have fun, I have tried all my life not to let this get too much in my way, I do find summer a **** with the heat (I am supposed to wear support stockings 40 compression to help the blood flow) needless to say in this heat I can't. I consider myself a fairly attractive woman and try to take of myself the best I can but there are some people out there that really don't understand and just like to stare. Sorry guys but I think some of you can be the most critical as most of you like to see the perfect gal - slim, pretty and no scars. I am a firm believer that beautie is in the eye of the beholder - everyone has some good in them and everyone is beautiful in there own way. I am always here to chat and hear anyones problems, I have delt with enough of my own from a teenage rape to verbal and mental abuse from my ex. and or course the ongoing issues from my accident. All I can say is keep your chin up and don't be afraid to speak out and ask for help. My friends have been the greatest help to me.
Cheers all
Love and Laughter
Honeybee | |
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| If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 8/7/2006 11:56:54 AM | hunney its just you YOU need mor eself confidence Its sexy to be confident in yourself. Yours are more observable but I have a giant T from the bottom of my ribs all the way to below my bellybutton and arm scars from multiple surgeries that basically saved my life. I call them battle scars SO should you YOu survived a horrible person Youre beautiful in and out.I cant help that I have them Neither can you so deal with it and move on. Be a beautiful confident woman and men will only see that . I ve not heard one man I ve been with EVER say anythign to me. I wear bikinis and only my nephew had remraked one day-auntie, why do you have scars all over your tummy.I tell him their battle scar s and saved my life. they re for good. Yours are for good too. Your scars arent your issue. It runs deeper than that so maybe seek some help oevr that or read some books. YOU survived a horrific relationship where someone did bad things to you and YOU won! you moved on ..there are plenty of men out there that WONT seea thing. God if I thought liek that I d NEVER date and im a dating fiend:)i try to be as goo dinside as i can so they see that more than anythign else...tr ythe bookstore! get yourself some confidence help... | |
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| If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 10/19/2006 7:32:03 PM | | Does a scar make you who you are? No it doesn't. Does a scar change your outlook on life? Some would say yes, but it shouldn't. I always thought that a scar no matter how big or small is nothing but a story to tell. If they can't handle the fact that you've got a scar, again no matter how big or small, then they weren't really interested in knowing the real you. | |
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| If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 2/11/2007 2:23:19 AM | | Yes some men would not find the scars attractive but do you truly want to be with a man like that? I have surgery scars all over my body and I use to hate them. But then realized that they dont make me who I am. My heart,soul and personality determines who I am. As far as I am concern there is no such thing as a perfect looking woman. Its too general. We are all different and what is perfect to me might not be to you. | |
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| If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 2/11/2007 2:34:49 AM |
a perfect looking woman
shimmerfree,
I don't know where you got that idea but you are totally false in my book. Any man who would refuse you for something you have NO control over is a shallow as they come and should be avoided at all costs anyway. If you were FAT or dressed funny that's another story since you DO have control over those type of things. | |
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| If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 2/11/2007 3:05:57 AM | Shimmerfree77....some, if not all of us have something we wish we could change about ourselves whether minor or major....surely you have other attributes that will get a males attention....I once dated a female who was 4'9 and I'm 6'1, normally that height is out of my interest area, but she had other attributes that offset her shortness and when height interfered we improvised....
When you have a male you like, and you think your features might be a problem go the old reverse psychology route and see what he thinks about females who have birth marks are injuries(but quickly change the subject) and then you can determine whether to go forward with a relationship... | |
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| If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 2/12/2007 5:10:29 AM |
If you were FAT or dressed funny that's another story since you DO have control over those type of things.
I dont agree with you with being fat as being someone that someone can totally control. If you have physical limitions losing the weight is not easy to lose. Some can control it but not all. | |
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| If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 2/12/2007 7:28:03 AM | | Dont worry - Dont know about everyone - But I look at the person - not a few scars - A nice personality is better than a perfect body.. I find someone sexy because of the way they make me feel - So dont get hungup on scars - be proud (I know its hard) - but who cares if people dont like them - tough - they shouldnt be so shallow!!!! Lust laugh at them.. | |
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| If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 2/12/2007 7:42:36 AM | I find that lots of people have hang ups on perfection... LOOK AT MICHAEL JACKSON!!!
but I have found that as I got older I really like the imperfections it is what makes someone unique and special...
So for me it has not been an issue for years, but there are some people who are hung up on this ideal of perfection and hey, they may be a bit vain... so NUTS TO THEM | |
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| If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 2/12/2007 9:26:21 AM | I have several scars from surgeries and such. A big scar on my chest from open heart surgery and you can still feel the wires that hold my sternum together which is kind of weird. I scar from just above my right knee to my groin from a femerol artery bypass, 5 three inch scars on the left leg from the same kind of surgery, the scar at the end of my stump, a scar from having my appendix removed and a long scar on my left forearm where they removed a vein for my heart bypass. Each and every one of them means something special to me. They all mean I survived something unpleasant, and the scar from my heart surgery means I've lived another day to enjoy this earth.
Scars and "marks" help tell the story of your life. | |
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| If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 2/12/2007 9:45:24 AM | | schimmerfree, the hard thing is to convince yourself to be comfortable with your scars, the way you look. You need to accept that your scars are part of your anatomy now. They are like tattoos only with a better story. They add character! They make you more interesting! I have had major scars on my abdomen since I was 13 from botched abdominal operation, which has left me 6 major scars on my abdomen and lower abdomen, some that disappear into my bikini, one14' long from my breast bone around my navel to my pubic bone from 7 major operations, including 2 hernias. I hate my scars, and have a hard time to accept them also, and they embarrass me, but I am trying hard to believe what I have told you that I might ware my bikini, as I have a nice shape. Guys do ask embarrassing questions about them, but I am learning to come back to them. I do think that the guys do actually like them as they want to kiss them first, which is embarrassing, yet nice at the same time. If they do not accept your scars, I would not give them the time of the day. The should go out of there way to make you comfortable when you are with them. | |
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| If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 2/12/2007 10:30:57 AM | If he loves you, and the scars are a part of who you are, then the scars will be a non-issue.
I dated a gal that had major hip/pelvis reconstruction ... while I was with her ... I kissed her scars often. They are a part of her and the experiences they represent makes her who she is today. Physical scars are little different from emotional scars in that they are a part of someones composition!
You have to like who you see but you also need to be able to accept the affection and attention of those that like who you are as well!
If you man wants to go to the beach, then go ... wear a suit with a fun and colorful t-shirt over top ... I would encourage you to not let the terrible action of another human continue to rob you of your life. Embrace your mans emotional embrace and move forward. (did I mention that I have more than two feet of scars myself?).
Remember, if he loves you, and the scars are a part of who you are, then the scars will be a non-issue. And if the scars are an issue ... then he is a little boy pretending in a mans body! | |
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M2k7
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Joined: 1/18/2007
Msg: 148 | |
| If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 2/12/2007 3:49:30 PM | To me, no it wouldn't make a difference. But I can understand how it would make you feel, I am a sufferer of psoriasis, and it has contributed to depression and such.
I found when I am confident in who I am and the things I do, that attracted women of all kinds, they didn't even notice the psoriasis.
Me, I still cover it up as if it were the plague, but I found that others are more tolerating of my condition than I am. | |
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| If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 5/2/2007 1:37:20 PM | | If it bothers you that much the supposed problem can be rectified. I personally wouldn't care about that much because it's rather evident that you have a pleasent and cheerful face. I'd encourage you to be yourself and not worry about the ignorant few. We're all judged in different ways in life and we all have flaws. Why hide them? | |
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