marcob
|
Joined: 9/14/2007
Msg: 176 | |
| |
| If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 9/20/2007 12:48:55 PM | I would feel very sad for the person who would judge or be biased towards someone because they are scarred. They would lose out on knowing someone like me and the other wonderful people who posted to this thread. I am one of those women with a scar on their face, mine is from a childhood accident.
I feel for those who have endured such tragedy and trauma for their scars. A person without compassion for that is not worth meeting anyway.
I personally find a man with scars totally sexy. A definite plus in my book. :) | |
|
| If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 9/20/2007 12:51:50 PM | I have a lovely scar on my lip from being bit by a dog when i was 10. Most people dont even notice it. and when they do...and they hear the story...they always ask..did ya bite back?? 
I as well have a scar across my neck...not to noticable..but its there from an operation, my chicken pox scars on my arms and of course the baby marks. Not one man has ever turned away from me cause of them. I dont care if I have scars. Means i Haved lived a little. I think because I hardly think about them and not self conscious in any way of them . The men i meet dont care either. 
So I wouldnt worry to much... | |
|
| If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 9/22/2007 6:19:52 PM | | Yay!! It is so good to hear a woman who is not self conscious about this stuff because really I think most men are pretty understanding about all of that! stretch marks and a couple of scars are not a big deal!!!! Anyone who makes a big deal about that stuff clearly lives in isolation and hasn't seen that the world is not an airbrushed and touched up, idealized, boring place. We live our lives and stuff happens, it is the imperfections and experiences that make us beautiful and unique beings. | |
|
| |
| If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 9/22/2007 7:12:19 PM | I've got a few bad scars myself and people, anyone, anywhere, always just say "oh my god!, what happened to your legs?" It's one of those things where the content of your character comes from within. Boy, that sounds really really stupid. But, as far as realtionships are concerned, as long as your heart of hearts cares for you mind, body and spirit who cares what another thinks of your physical being?
If we all took a pysch profile we would fail. If we all had to point out a physical aspect of ourselves we didn't care for, we most of us would blurt it out. | |
|
| If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 9/30/2007 8:00:57 PM | | One of the best novels I have read in a long time is Scar Lover by Harry Crews. NO, I'm not his publicist, but he touches on this theme. Our scars make us who we are. Some are "lucky" and the scars we bear are virtually hidden or well disguised. Others openly wear their scars for all the world to see. Both kinds are very difficult to deal with at times. The idea of loving one's own scars and the scars of the ones we love is mind opening and boggling at the same time. Beauty can be found where you appeciate the life's journey of another as evidenced by his/her scars. Scars can either ostracize us or redeem us. It's largely the way we view our own scars that will determine how others will see them, and even learn to appreciate them. | |
|
| |
| If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 9/30/2007 10:29:44 PM | | I dont think there are any perfect bodies out there, for one reason or another. You are very self conscience about the scars because you know they are there. What we notice about ourselves the most, such as bodily imperfections, others that care about you will over look and not care. If they do care, they arent worth your time. | |
|
| |
| If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 10/5/2007 4:11:18 PM | SHOULD the scars make someone look at you differently? NO!!
DO the scars make some people look at you differently (Men)? Probly.
Your a beautiful girl...there isn't anything you can do about them unless you have some cosmetic surgery....
Good luck | |
|
| If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 10/5/2007 4:38:26 PM | | i am interested in your comment about scars being unimportant unless they're on the face. is this more to do with what other people may think when they see you with someone scarred? have you ever known someone with facial scarring because i would assume if you had that they would have explained how it affects their day to day life, personalty's choices they make and the opportunities they feel are not open to them. i do not wish to sound harsh but it is comments such as yours that can bring only more hurt and feelings of low worth to those who have enough to cope with already. | |
|
| If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 10/5/2007 5:45:00 PM | If someone is going to judge you by some scars, than they are not worth the time! Scars always have a meaning behind them, and is interesting to hear the story/stories.
Of course I have the silver scars, and wouldnt trade them for anything, another reminder of the 2 wonderful girls I have. Than I have several scars on my arms, burns from a ciggeratte lighter, and a scar from getting stabbed in the arm by an ex. Everytime I look at them it reminds me, where I have been in life and how far I have come, and I am thankful I am still alive to look at the scars. So if someone is going to judge me, or not date me because of them, than its their loss and not mine! | |
|
| If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 10/5/2007 6:05:25 PM | | Hey Shimmfree. I have stretch marks from having 2 kids and i have 2 burn marks on my skin from childhood. 1 is a scold 1 is from a luke warm iron that i pulled onto myself as a baby! It doesn't matter to me and it shouldn't matter to others and as far as i'm aware it never has! I don't hide them or cover them up just be yourself! | |
|
| If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 10/5/2007 7:17:13 PM | If a man really cares for you,he will over look your scars.
I know this isn't the same,but I have scars as well(stretch marks)
And I've had them since I was 14,not once has a man said anything
to me about it.
Don't let your scars discourage you from being intimate with someone you care about. | |
|
clay71
|
Joined: 7/11/2007
Msg: 191 | |
| |
Nona37
|
Joined: 10/3/2007
Msg: 192 | |
| If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 10/6/2007 7:59:10 AM | Shimmer
I can sooooooooooo relate to you on this topic. I am a war veteran and I have scars as well. My scars are on my chest as well. I was actually thrown many feet after an artillery round landed near our tent out in the desert, even with my scars, I must say, I fared better than some of the other guys, there were no fatalities, but my wounds were far less than the guys I was actually in the tent with. My scars can not be seen unless a man is lucky enough to get me to take my bra off, I literally had a man stop once and asked me what happened, and it's not a good conversation when you are trying to "get it on" with someone!
Now what I do, if I see potential in the sexual arena with a man, I just go ahead and tell them, I have found that an open door here is very crucial and most do not mind, but I do understand how the "scar" thing goes, with both you and I where it's different circumstances, it was still out of "our" control, we are victims of what others have done to us, whether we knew them or not.
I would highly recommend you work on accepting your scars, they are a part of you, and once you have accepted them yourself, the men who will come into your life in the future will accept them as well, for you are more than those sscars, those scars are merely part of y our character, but does NOT represent the real you :) Good Luck to you.~~~Nona | |
|
| If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 10/6/2007 3:03:17 PM | shimmerfree77,
My ex-girlfriend was in a horrible accident when she was 16 and has multiple scars up and down her spine and across her lower back from multiple operations. By 22 years old she won a few bikini competitions and became a national Budweiser swimsuit model (in those classic white, one piece suits they wear), until she was 30. And all with those horrible scars!! She never let those things bother her and get in her way. She just worked very hard on getting her body in shape and looked great, regardless of the scars. The moral of this story is, "Never let anything stand in your way!" | |
|
| If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 10/6/2007 3:27:27 PM | | The right guy for you wont be hung up on your scar. If it really bothers you, see a dermatologist or a plastic surgeon. They have something called IPL now that might even out the skin tone. That is so mean that an ex did that to you. I'm sorry to hear. | |
|
| |
| If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 11/12/2007 9:37:28 AM | I think that what happened 2 u is horrible!
But i guess u can look into getting some scar removing services if u didnt already. and seeking therapy over what he did...i know i be so hurt from that and really cant imagine something like that. If u didnt already as well.
Hope 4 the best 4 u . | |
|
| If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 11/12/2007 11:39:25 AM | Personally I don't have a problem with girls with scar or marks as long as they are not right on their face
So then the answer is, YES, you do have a problem with scars. If shimmerfree77s bf had thrown the hot water a little higher we would be talking about face scars. | |
|
| If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 11/12/2007 2:03:53 PM | Shimmerfree77,
We all have scars hun, both on the outside and the inside. I have both. I have stretchmarks from giving birth to three children, and nope, don't wear a bathing suit either. Nothing says you have to wear a skimpy bathing suit...you could do a short set and be fine (tshirt and shorts with a bikini top underneath).
If the guy truly cares about you, that will be one of the things he loves about you. It makes you unique. It also shows that you are a strong woman to have come back from such a horrible relationship.
Easier said than done, but hold your head up high and show the world the real you! I went to school with a girl who had purple (dark purple) birthmarks down the side of her face and arms...she was one of the most popular girls in our class. Not because she was putting out or anything, but just because she was beautiful inside and out. She still is 20+ years later. | |
|
| If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 11/14/2007 1:39:15 PM | | This is a wonderful question. I too have scars which I am still self conscious about. I received permanent stains on my two front teeth from some life saving medication that I had to take when I was 5. I was picked on for it for most of my childhood. To this day I don't like to smile, especially in pictures and when meeting someone new I tend to cover my mouth with my hand sometimes. I also have stretch marks from childbirth, though they're not too bad (only on my hips and upper and inner thighs). I do believe that it's the inside that counts. However I also know human nature. We human beings have our own ideas of what constitutes physical attractiveness. Anyway, thanks so much for posting such a great and important topic! | |
|
kid30
|
Joined: 4/3/2008
Msg: 200 | |
| If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 6/8/2008 8:32:37 AM | I have a good number of scars on my arms and men seem to judge me on them,it just shows me how very shallow they are.
I once had a guy tell me "I want to bring home a lady,no a frankenstien" I will never to this day forget that hurtful comment.
Hard to keep your head up when all they see is scars,that's why I hate summer,you can't wear long sleeves.
I really am a good person,if somebody just took the time to look past the outside,I know I am not very pretty but,I have a lot of heart.... | |
|
Home
login 
