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| Dating Out Side YOUR RACE
Posted: 12/5/2005 11:25:02 AM | | You can't tell with this website, but take a look at the big dating websites like Yahoo and Match.com. You are able to indicate the race of the person you would consider. Only a tiny fraction of those personals say "any". That's not a coincidence. | |
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| Dating Out Side YOUR RACE
Posted: 12/5/2005 1:04:13 PM | My question is why dose anyone care who someone else is dating? I was married to a blk man for 10 yrs and the only people who mattered to us were our family...the hell with the rest | |
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| Dating Out Side YOUR RACE
Posted: 12/5/2005 1:34:56 PM | | In the case of some people, it may be more a matter of personal preference as opposed to any kind of racism, in the same way that women often prefer taller men, darkhaired men, etc. As far as I'm concerned, there are beautiful women in every race and it's not an issue. | |
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| Dating Out Side YOUR RACE
Posted: 12/5/2005 3:20:07 PM | I love filipino and polynesian women!
they usually aren't as attracted to me | |
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| Dating Out Side YOUR RACE
Posted: 12/5/2005 4:53:38 PM | That is always a touchy subject. I date outside my race and at times get comments from both black and white people. However, I find that it is usually black people that say something to me to make rude loud comments. I have heard that I'm selling out or it is because of people like me that black men are having so many problems. Yeah right. However, it is white men that tend to be the ones that will try to call other white men "N" lovers and want to get in your face at bars. It is sad. I have always dated whoever I liked regardless of skin color or religion. And while I do get some of the above comments, it has drastically improved since I was a teenager in the 80's. Actually I don't think I've heard anything (to my face) in years! Perhaps we really are getting better and moving ahead!
I guess it is just fear of the unknown and ignorance! | |
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| Dating Out Side YOUR RACE
Posted: 12/9/2005 2:45:08 PM | | Dating outside your race is called beastiality, and is a crime. Forget the sheep, dogs, etc, and stick with people...all of whom are of the same, one, human race. Blacks, whites, latins, etc, are not different races, but are different sub species within a single race. A little mixing between sub-species keeps the gene pool varied enough to avoid widespread mongolism, sickle cell, etc...so it is a good thing. | |
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ler0y
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Joined: 11/26/2005
Msg: 183 | |
| Dating Out Side YOUR RACE
Posted: 12/17/2005 11:12:32 AM | Ok, I really feel the need to chime in here. Basically, I joined the world of online dating due to tragic circumstances which I will not get into. Prior to this, I had little knowledge of racial dating issues. Upon joining Match.com, I found a nasty surprise. You can look at people's profiles and see which races they are prefer. For the vast majority of the women that I looked and was interested in, the hierarchy was white men or caucasian men, followed by black men, native american men, and lastly Asian men if at all. Some of them chose the 'any' category. Needless to say, I was very curious about this and devastated at the same time, so I pursued further study and opened up a whole can of worms dealing with race, power, economics, media, etc.
First of all, kudos to those of you who take a colorblind stance, but if you are truly colorblind, do you walk the walk or just talk the talk? If so, you are in the vast minority who practice what they preach. If so, do you prefer some races over the other? Do you think men and women practice this hypothetical 'colorblindness' in equal proportions? I won't provide all the links about marriage statistics between the various races, they are easy enough to find, government census figures etc, because I've done this so many times I'm sick of it.
Now I notice that some people are still arguing about whether race is a social construct or not. For the sake of argument, lets assume that the concept of race is valid, and define it as a combination of physical features, culture, language, place of ancestral origin, etc. Regardless of whether race is 'real' or not, people treat it as if it were, and that is enough for discrimination, intolerance, hate, prejudice etc. to exist.
There are some pretty fundamental asymmetries we are dealing with here. In this part of the world, North America, the white population dominates that of other populations. Also, there is a difference between white male/minority female relationships, minority male/white female relationships, and minority male/minority female relationships. There are far more white male/minority female relationships than any of the other, again I'm not going to bother providing backing statistics. Regardless, even if there weren't in reality, the MEDIA PORTRAYALS of white male/minority female depicted are far greater in number.
This is another significant issue. As Marshall McLuhan so famously stated "the medium is the message". Media does not merely reflect culture and society as some people would claim, it CREATES it as well. So what happens when all of your media is controlled by one particular 'race' and gender? Of course what they will do is anything to maintain the status quo and further their own agendas of more power and control. For an example of this, I'll actually provide a link.... http://www.fair.org
Now I know somebody is going to pipe up and mention this, they will say, but look how many black (minority) men are paired up with white females!!! In response to this I'll say, blacks are not the only minority, but for some reason America only seems to see things in terms of black and white. How about middle eastern, south asian, east asian men? And latinos? Do they count as a minority? Latinos can be white, black, hispanic, caucasian, etc. For some reason, the powers that be, have decided that black males are now IN, in terms of attractiveness in dating. The same powers have decided that Asian males are OUT and to be ridiculed and vilified. Here, I'll give you another link...
http://www.lib.berkeley.edu/MRC/Amydoc.html
So anyways, that argument doesn't fly. To invoke black male represenatation in media and popular culture is to argue the exception, not the rule. I'm not saying some races have it any easier than others in general, but in some things they do and in some things they don't. Some people find dating easier, some find getting a bank loan, or a promotion at work easier. Ideally, everybody should be treated the same, but we all know what happens in reality. And even with postive media portrayals, does that make life for black men any easier? With negative media portrayals, what does that do for Asian men? What about black females? Do they date men of other races at similar rates to black men?
As with many things of this scope and magnitude, there are numerous causal factors all intimately inter-related. People go to university for degrees in studying this kind of stuff. Its not something that is easy to pick up easily and quickly. I don't even know if doing so would be a good thing. Perhaps blind ignorance is the way to blissful happiness. I could go on and on about this, but I don't know if I should bother. I don't even know if anybody is going to read this or not because nobody has bothered responding to anything of a similar nature I've posted before. | |
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chinua
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Joined: 9/30/2005
Msg: 184 | |
| Dating Out Side YOUR RACE
Posted: 12/18/2005 10:06:10 PM | | P67.....I hope you meant to say Downe's Syndrome instead of mongolism........which is a word that is racist...... | |
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| Dating Out Side YOUR RACE
Posted: 12/19/2005 1:21:40 PM | Mix it up! everyone should be open to meeting and dating people of other cultures and skin tones. I fall for the woman and not what her race is. I have dated white, asian, black and mixtures of all. all women are similar and different at the same time. If everyone was open to dating regardless of colour then the world would be a better place.
To the person that was making a comment about "cultural hygene"...wtf? think you meant personal hygene. yeah some people might not shower much but thats the person not their race or their culture. people are people. some are clean freaks and others are slobs...has nothing to do with culture. you could have 2 brothers ones a slob and the other is a clean freak. its just how some people turn out. ever see the odd couple? both the same culture. | |
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| Dating Out Side YOUR RACE
Posted: 12/19/2005 2:09:00 PM | ler0y> I read your post and I am responding to it
The issue is a lot more complicated than just a glossy overview of the idea of inter-racial dating. And yes dealing with society as a whole can be something that a couple will have to deal with. But I think what most people are trying to say is that yes there is a lot of people out there that do have a problem. The more that people are free to openly mix then the sooner that the world will be a better place. We certainly dont live in a colourblind world but the world is moving in the right direction. 50 years ago dating outside your own race was a real problem. Society wasnt open to it at all. There are still people that have a hard time with it. It isnt just with race but with religion too. Catholics, protestants, jews, muslims, hindus, etc all inter marry but you know that they obviously have to overcome problems with their families and churches.
I have never noticed asian males being "out" ( you make it sound like out of fashion or not the flavor of the month). But you did make me think and most asian men I know seem to always have an asian gf and almost always of the same asian background. Not all as I do know some that have gfs or wives that are not asian. Yet a noticable number of asian women I know have caucasian bfs. A long time ago I did go out with an asian girl for a short while but she coulnt tell her parents that she was dating me because I am caucasian and her father wouldnt let her date someone that wasnt the same race. But that was the only time I had that problem. I am not so certain that it had to do with race or if it might also be premarital sex but race was the excuse. I had other asian gfs whose families had no problem with us dating. There are going to be people out there that are old fashioned or traditional. but I do think the world is moving towards being more accepting or all people being free to love whoever they find regardless of who they are. I have had gfs that were white, asian, black or mixed. And I have noticed at times people staring...usually its some old couple in a shopping mall. The world may not be accepting as it should be but I think we are moving in the right direction. | |
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