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 m_church
Joined: 11/8/2007
Msg: 726
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Genital HerpesPage 30 of 32    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32)

I decided to keep it to "safe sex" (which eliminated almost everything) because I am not interested in catching it.

I would love to know how you can have "safe sex" considering that condoms don't protect you... (as you said the guy said he had had it "all over his rear end and down his legs" which means he could transmit it through his skin in all that area too...)
 ricc50
Joined: 4/16/2011
Msg: 727
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Genital Herpes
Posted: 6/6/2012 3:01:37 PM
run fast.that the kind of stuff that will for ever hunt u. i do not have any std but some of my friends have because this the type of stuff even gasoline can get off.
 Dmaj7
Joined: 5/13/2012
Msg: 728
Genital Herpes
Posted: 6/6/2012 5:44:45 PM

I would love to know how you can have "safe sex" considering that condoms don't protect you


Knowledge gleaned from the Internet...

They provide protection just not complete protection. You are likely to get it if your partner is experiencing an outbreak. You're less likely to get it when the person is not having an outbreak. It is still possible due to viral shedding. This means the virus is present on the skin but there are no symptoms. No one can tell if they are shedding. There are differences of opinion on how often someone sheds. This is because there has been few long term studies. And different studies produce different results.

There are some correlations believed to be true. Shedding happens more often when the person acquires herpes. It is also believed the more outbreaks the more shedding. People who have it for a long time and who no longer have outbreaks may shed less. Look it up, I am doing this from memory.

Anti viral medications designed for herpes greatly reduce shedding. The makers of Valtrex? have an independent study proving this. I believe with condoms, avoiding contact during outbreaks and taking Valtrex(the person with the virus) the risk is greatly reduced, but can never be eliminated. There are many good resources on the Internet. Read them. It's been a while since I read this information. It may be inaccurate and there may also be newer information.

Unfortunately herpes is more of a social issue than a medical issue.
 dabster86
Joined: 4/4/2012
Msg: 729
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Genital Herpes
Posted: 6/6/2012 8:47:46 PM
There really isn't anything to fear about Herpes. Condoms greatly reduce your chance of catching it & the most likely time, if not the only time, you'll catch it is during an outbreak. It's not the same thing as HIV/AIDS. Plus, just b/c a person has it doesn't mean he/she is a prostitute. That's how a lot of other people view STD positive individuals
 MutedEnthusiasm
Joined: 7/8/2011
Msg: 730
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Genital Herpes
Posted: 6/6/2012 11:22:55 PM
^^^

Condoms greatly reduce your chance of catching it & the most likely time, if not the only time, you'll catch it is during an outbreak.

Not so. Untrue. It's definitely NOT the only time. Not according to research. Even folks who have never had an outbreak are and can be infectious. Do your reading.

http://www.herpes.com/hsv1-2.html
 IMightBeAllYours...
Joined: 5/15/2012
Msg: 731
Genital Herpes
Posted: 6/6/2012 11:34:51 PM
pffft. i get myself tested for herpes every year as well as other std's just in case, since i am very aware that while condoms do reduce the risk of getting an std, they do NOT completely eliminate it. i recently (back in march) had that unpleasant experience of being told by an ex girlfriend that she had cheated on me and had contracted genital herpes. i thank god that i had stopped having sex with her over two weeks before she did that....but i still had myself tested anyway, just to be safe and not to have to lie to any prospective partners in the future. kinda a buzzkill when someone is about to go to bed with someone and has to lie to their partner...
 m_church
Joined: 11/8/2007
Msg: 732
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Genital Herpes
Posted: 6/7/2012 8:13:34 AM

There really isn't anything to fear about Herpes.

Go to Google Images, Search "Herpes"



Condoms greatly reduce your chance of catching it

Actually, condoms provide little to no protection against herpes. It's transmittable by SKIN contact... not fluids...
That means any area of your body that could be reasonably covered by boxer shorts is a potential transmission site...


& the most likely time, if not the only time, you'll catch it is during an outbreak.


1... While you are correct that it's more commonly transmitted during an outbreak it can happen even when there is no outbreak...
2... An outbreak may not always be visible or show symptoms... so a person could be in the middle of an outbreak and not know it...



It's not the same thing as HIV/AIDS. Plus, just b/c a person has it doesn't mean he/she is a prostitute. That's how a lot of other people view STD positive individuals

True, there are a lot of non-protstitutes that have it too, mostly due to ignorance of the facts...
 dabster86
Joined: 4/4/2012
Msg: 733
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Genital Herpes
Posted: 6/7/2012 10:18:22 AM

Not so. Untrue. It's definitely NOT the only time. Not according to research. Even folks who have never had an outbreak are and can be infectious. Do your reading.

http://www.herpes.com/hsv1-2.html
Yeah thanks, as if I didn't know. I'm simply trying to put that the most likely time anyone will catch HSV-2 is during unprotected sex and/or there is an outbreak going on. If someone's having an outbreak, don't have sex with the person. Once the outbreak ends, use a good condom. Herpes is nothing but an STD that causes a rash about once a year or two. Valtrex greatly reduces the outbreaks
 dabster86
Joined: 4/4/2012
Msg: 734
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Genital Herpes
Posted: 6/7/2012 10:29:29 AM
@m_church, please tell me what there is to fear about Herpes. Yes, it can infect a child during labor but only if the child comes in contact with the infected area. C-section is a good option to use. Go read your articles again, condoms do provide good protection. I'm not saying it will absolutely prevent, but it's considered a good type of protection whenever the infected person is not having an outbreak. During an outbreak, simply don't have sex. It can be transmitted anytime, but medication/condoms greatly do reduce the chance. I was shocked when I was diagnosed with HSV-2, but then realized it's absolutely not the same as HIV/AIDS & other life threatening STDS. It's just like having another health issue such as epilepsy, asthma, panic attacks etc. There's no official cure, but can be greatly treated & help the infected one have a normal life
 mkeee22
Joined: 1/17/2011
Msg: 735
Genital Herpes
Posted: 6/12/2012 7:41:45 PM
I have herpes it is a huge stress I had 2 times told a lady I had them both times it didnt work out.I found a site try it positive singles.Good luck.
 m_church
Joined: 11/8/2007
Msg: 736
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Genital Herpes
Posted: 6/12/2012 8:37:27 PM

please tell me what there is to fear about Herpes.

From the Mayo clinic website:


Complications associated with genital herpes may include:
Other sexually transmitted infections. Having genital sores increases your risk of transmitting or contracting other sexually transmitted infections, including the AIDS virus.
Newborn infection. Babies born to infected mothers can be exposed to the virus during the birthing process. This may result in brain damage, blindness or death for the newborn.
Bladder problems. In some cases, the sores associated with genital herpes can cause inflammation around the urethra, the tube that delivers urine from your bladder to the outside world. The swelling can close the urethra for several days, requiring the insertion of a catheter to drain your bladder.
Meningitis. In rare instances, HSV infection leads to inflammation of the membranes and cerebrospinal fluid surrounding your brain and spinal cord.
Rectal inflammation (proctitis). Genital herpes can lead to inflammation of the lining of the rectum, particularly in men who have sex with men.



Go read your articles again, condoms do provide good protection

They only protect the area covered by the condom...
However, the entire rest of the area, basically from belly button to your knees can be a skin contact area capable of transmitting the infection....
Even "spooning" with your partner offers some risk...

C-section is a good option to use.

Ummm sure, if the lady in question doesn't mind not having a natural delivery, and is OK with having weaker abdminal wall and a large scar and that's if she's ok with the idea of having her belly cut open to deliver the baby...

The other part of this is that everyone is different...
One person may never have a visible outbreak...
Some people get it regularly, painfully and it can be incapacitating for them, leading to time off work etc...
Just because some people have little or no reaction, doesn't mean it's nothing to worry about...
 still.looking4U
Joined: 5/31/2012
Msg: 737
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Genital Herpes
Posted: 6/12/2012 8:45:25 PM
It is everyone's choice as to whether someone is worth taking the chance of catching an STD or not. If they are not worth taking the chance on then maybe you really shouldn't be sleeping with them anyway.

BTW, here is a salute to all the honest people out there who will tell people about stuff like that rather than hide it and have someone catch something from them without being given a choice. Many people dotn let otehrs know and that is completely selfish.
 _nooneknows_
Joined: 3/18/2012
Msg: 738
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Genital Herpes
Posted: 6/12/2012 9:09:21 PM
Mr. Church, you seem very vested in this topic as i noticed you comment on all the herpes related threads here, but you always point out the most extreme scenarios, google images etc which most of the time are the most unlikely ones, spreading more fear than information. In fact I am pretty annoyed at the social stigma around this thing and there are attitudes that are pretty negative toward anyone who might have it, these reactions make us all feel like lepers or promiscuous which is quite ridiculous. How do you think it feels to be on the other end when people post comments like these lumping us into some big group of disapproval. Not great.

i think the people who have lived with it should be the ones to comment on their experience and what they have gone through, this gives others a better accurate picture of the true reality of this condition.......as opposed to the fear based 'this or that can happen' because the stigma behind this one is quite high and over the top, IMO. We know the reality of the situation. Caution is a good thing for sure but the way people look down on this skin condition is not right. Fear mongering is not a good thing either.

I have had it 20 years now. I have been o/b free over 5 years due to a fairly good health regimen and regular lysine supplements. the only thing that brings it on now is times of very high stress. i averaged less than 10 o/b over 20 years with more o/b's in the first five years after i got it and less in recent years. each o/b was ONE small sore. each one cleared in a day or two. the prescription is 6 pills over 3 days. The past five years i almost forgot about it entirely. i can tell you i have had flu's and colds that have been FAR MORE uncomfortable than the stupid HSV sore. I delivered a healthy baby vaginally no problem several years ago. No bladder issue, no rectal issue, never had meningitis, NONE of the five things you mention in your post. I have never even heard that there was a link to meningitis, bladder issues, or rectal issues. You'd think if it were such a worry, I'd have come across hearing about these at some point in the past 20 years? I can also tell you a lot of people carry a lot of viruses which come and go and they aren't even aware half the time....most commonly HPV (which no man can know if he carries or not, as NO test exists for men). The body is an amazing healer when you treat it WELL. The natural product LYSINE makes a huge impact on reducing this virus to almost nil. Lysine gave me a full five years of no outbreaks. Take care of your body, take advantage of things that can help, these things are NOT hard !!

Lastly. Those 'positive singles' dating sites are useless because there are a minimal amount of people in any given area on there. When i signed up for one, there were no more than 2 members within ages 25 to 50 who were of similar status to me. So tell me how people are supposed to find any kind of success there. It is not realistic.

The very hardest thing to deal with about this, is not physical at all. It is people's reaction.
 m_church
Joined: 11/8/2007
Msg: 739
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Genital Herpes
Posted: 6/12/2012 10:17:37 PM

Mr. Church, you seem very vested in this topic as i noticed you comment on all the herpes related threads here, but you always point out the most extreme scenarios,

Yes, as the question asked of me was what is there to fear from it.... so I responded...
I also stated that not everyone has the same reaction...

The fact that you are outbreak free is really great. I'm happy for you...
I have a buddy who apparently has had it for over a decade without outbreaks and now he gets them...
As I said, not everyone has the same reaction...

I know people who can roll naked in poison ivy and get no reaction... Me, I flare up with massive blisters and look like I've been burned in a fire... not everyone has the same reaction...
I tell people to avoid poison ivy because I know what CAN happen... not because many people have no reaction...

I think it's far better to make people think twice, than to think it's no big deal only to find out that for them it's not...

You'd think if it were such a worry, I'd have come across hearing about these at some point in the past 20 years?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Herpes_simplex#Treatment
It depends on if you look, the information is out there...
 _nooneknows_
Joined: 3/18/2012
Msg: 740
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Genital Herpes
Posted: 6/13/2012 11:12:08 AM
"The scientific reality is that most people are asymptomatic, the virus causes no real health problems for a vast majority of people, and a vast majority (around 90%) of the Earth's population carries HSV-1, 2, or both.[94][95]" - also from the link you provided - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Herpes_simplex#Treatment


Lets compare it to another skin disorder: psoriasis - an autoimmune skin disorder also with no cure - google for images.
My friend has had psoriasis since birth which is always present and when it flares up in intensity it covers nearly her entire body including face, with sores which turn to scabs that fall off and leave red skin patches behind... it is itchy and painful, it gets worse where you sweat, can affect walking, goes all through your scalp and looks like dandruff. She was always complaining about it. The poor girl suffered so much depression over the years and was suicidal. Which would you rather have? You would probably choose herpes, but you would still be too humiliated to admit you have this condition, which usually shows no symptoms...the shame is with the herpes virus, moreso than any other skin condition, even one which may cover your entire body in sores for life.
 BuxomDiva
Joined: 6/8/2012
Msg: 741
Genital Herpes
Posted: 6/13/2012 11:54:21 AM
Well this issue just reared its ugly head for me again, so I thought I'd check for the most recent forum discussions. I had written a number of things years back but they appear to have disappeared.

The first you thing you need to know is this: if you get cold sores, you already have herpes!

Herpes Simplex types 1 & 2 are indistinguishable under a microscope. Type 1 prefers to live on the face and type 2 prefers the genital area, but since President Bill convinced an entire generation that fellatio is not a sex act the World Health Organization reported a huge increase in genital infections of type 1.

The second thing is this: while it is true that there can be viral shedding without any symptoms, the risk of this goes down exponentially the longer it has been since the initial outbreak. I was diagnosed in 1994; you are more likely to win a lottery, or at the very least be struck by lightning, than to catch it from me when I am asymptomatic.

Third, the virus is actually very fragile and easily killed with soap and water. So you're not going to catch it off a toilet seat or anything.

Skin is in fact a good barrier, with all its layers (7?) intact. Thus women, who have mucous membranes exposed in their genitals while men are protected by skin, are FOUR TIMES more likely to catch it than to give it away.

And having herpes does not in and of itself put you at greater risk for any other pathogen. It is simply that IF the virus is active, so there are lesions which break the skin, it makes it easier for other things to get into your body. Obviously women are at great risk for the reason given in the previous paragraph!

80% of people in North America have some form of Herpes Simplex virus; most are infected before the age of TWELVE!

Most people are oblivious to the fact that kissing a child on the mouth can give them herpes, so those doting aunts and uncles and grandparents are the ones truly responsible for the "epidemic"!

Also, you need to know that herpes requires heat and moisture to thrive, so the suggestion that you would catch it from casual contact with a rash on somebody's leg is a specious argument.

And last but not least, the ad campaign from the makers of the antiviral drug which suggests that most people catch it when there partner has no symptoms present is a very flawed interpretation of a very tiny study. As somebody posted above, with proper precautions a couple can be intimate for years without passing the virus from one partner to the other. In that particular study, the participants who infected their partners were NOT using safer sex practices during outbreaks!

I realize that many people are not comfortable discussing this topic in an open forum, so I will change my settings to allow messages from women who wish to contact me privately to discuss this.

I've read all the best books from the world's top researchers. I know the subject VERY well!

My final comment; herpes is stress related. Normally the virus lies dormant in a nerve bundle (ganglia). Stress will cause it to travel to the skin and create lesions.

The more you stress out about having herpes, the more frequent and severe your outbreaks will be. Voice of experience here. Once I started thinking of it as merely tropical coldsores, my outbreaks became much less frequent. Like many women I would break out around my period when those tissues are under stress, but one of the benefits of getting older is that's no longer an issue.

Namaste.
 _nooneknows_
Joined: 3/18/2012
Msg: 742
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Genital Herpes
Posted: 6/14/2012 8:05:50 PM
Thanks so much for your points Buxom... you brought up some really good ones and you are right on the money. While some people are tired of hearing about this topic, I think it is always good to hear from people who have actually experienced it and are willing to honestly discuss their own experience with it.
 jennink26
Joined: 3/11/2012
Msg: 743
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Genital Herpes
Posted: 6/14/2012 9:05:35 PM
I personally couldn't date someone with herpes. I have never had an std and plan on staying that way. Plus rashes, lesions, and the like do NOT sound fun for me.
 dabster86
Joined: 4/4/2012
Msg: 744
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Genital Herpes
Posted: 6/15/2012 6:01:23 AM
Spetzle, thank you so much for your information & honesty. When you think about it, herpes is just like migraines/cold/fever; it's a health condition that can not be cured but can be treated. That's it.

M_Church, thanks for your participation on this forum. We all get your point. Now, why not try to be a bit more positive & optimistic instead of so pessimistic?
 TakenButOnForums
Joined: 4/25/2012
Msg: 745
Genital Herpes
Posted: 6/15/2012 8:54:11 PM
Exactly, all I've got is my health. I'm just going to date someone based on the fact I might contract something from someone that might not be around forever.
 _nooneknows_
Joined: 3/18/2012
Msg: 746
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Genital Herpes
Posted: 6/17/2012 7:02:59 PM
Jennink: for sure, and there is nothing wrong with that mindset. Just know that if you do happen to contract H at some point, it isn't a life sentence... far from it. I can understand those people who would prefer not to date someone with it. In my experience though there are people out there who once they get to know you are quite understanding and would rather continue the relationship than end it just because of the condition. My exhusband was one of them and through a 10 year marriage, never contracted it whatsoever. It just takes a bit of caution.


As the years go on, it becomes more and more apparent that life isn't perfect.
 BuxomDiva
Joined: 6/8/2012
Msg: 747
Genital Herpes
Posted: 6/18/2012 6:21:32 PM
Jennink, in case you missed it (or maybe I forgot to mention it in my post) 80% of adults in North America have some type of Herpes Simplex infection and most type 1 infections happen before the age of 12.

If you've ever had a cold sore, you're already one of us so you can come down off your high horse now!

This is the thing that has always blown my mind. Complications of type 1 herpes include encephalitis - that's swelling of the BRAIN. How is that more serious than cold sores on your hoo haw? Really?
 GodivaJunkie
Joined: 5/1/2012
Msg: 748
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Genital Herpes
Posted: 6/19/2012 7:36:53 PM
I think people are fooling themselves.

#1 Know you're partner:
How long do most people wait before having sex? How could you possibly know everything about your partner, even after 6 months, one year, etc.? Many people are not 100% honest. You don't know who your partner's previous partner has been with, your partner doesn't know everything about them, either. How can there be a guarantee? Even a long term partner can change over the years.
#2 How many of you NEVER had unprotected sex? And even with protection, there's no 100% guarantee. How many of you never took risks sexually? Every time you're with someone sexually you are taking a risk.

No one wants a std. I bet most contacted it when someone was not honest with them (or they may not have known they had it). You can educate and protect yourself as much as possible, but there is no 100% guarantee. You're fooling yourself if you think you can't/won't get an std. Luck plays a part imo. The only way to guarantee it is to never have sex again. Doesn't sound like too many are willing to go this route.

The honest people with the std ranks high in my book.
 cautiousluv
Joined: 10/4/2008
Msg: 749
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Genital Herpes
Posted: 6/19/2012 8:01:51 PM
BuxomDiva: The second thing is this: while it is true that there can be viral shedding without any symptoms, the risk of this goes down exponentially the longer it has been since the initial outbreak. I was diagnosed in 1994; you are more likely to win a lottery, or at the very least be struck by lightning, than to catch it from me when I am asymptomatic.



BuxomDiva: 80% of people in North America have some form of Herpes Simplex virus; most are infected before the age of TWELVE!


If it's THAT hard to catch when someone is asymptomatic......then I wonder why 80% of the people in North America have some form of HSV?


BuxomDiva: Most people are oblivious to the fact that kissing a child on the mouth can give them herpes, so those doting aunts and uncles and grandparents are the ones truly responsible for the "epidemic"!


This makes me wonder if "Aunt Judy" had visible cold sores on her mouth when she kissed the child? And if she didn't have any symptoms then how did the kid "catch" is so easily?

It might sound like I'm bashing but I'm NOT. Herpes is a very complicated virus and it's really hard to understand how it "behaves".

Another thing that I think a lot of people don't realize is if someone already has one type of HSV, it's more difficult to
contract the other type (though certainly NOT impossible) This is because either type, contracted orally or genitally, causes the body to produce antibodies, some of which are active against both HSV-1 and 2. This acquired immune response gives some limited protection if the body encounters a second type. And when a person with a prior HSV infection does contract the second type, the first episode tends to be mild or even show no symptoms at all (and yet, the person is still infected with HSV 1 AND 2).

So now can this person be contagious even though they have never really shown any symptoms? And just HOW contagious? DO you have a better chance at getting stuck by lightening? And if that's true......then WHY do so many people have it?? I personally have never been with anyone that had herpes, that I know of? But I DO know quite a few women that had to have C-sections because they had herpes.
 scottbomb72
Joined: 1/13/2010
Msg: 750
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Genital Herpes
Posted: 6/21/2012 1:00:50 PM
I'm curious where people get the "1 on 4" or "1 in 5 " Americans have herpes. This is not correct according to the CDC:
Results of a nationally representative study show that genital herpes infection is common in the United States. Nationwide, 16.2%, or about one out of six, people 14 to 49 years of age have genital HSV-2 infection.

Source: http://www.cdc.gov/std/Herpes/STDFact-Herpes.htm

Of course, 1 in 6 is bad enough. Nevertheless, it takes a very understand and open-minded person to sleep with someone who has it. I've met 2 people over my 40 years who told me they had it and they were careful to never sleep with someone when the blisters were evident. Otherwise, they had normal sex lives.
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