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| Genital Herpes
Posted: 9/26/2005 11:21:07 PM | The only way to know if you have the virus is if you get a pap smear(ladies) and if they find abnormal cells it could be the virus or just a cell change or precancerous cells.This is why it is important to get checked on the regular...I know cause I had a close call and the best day of my life was when I just found out it was a cell change | |
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| Genital Herpes
Posted: 9/27/2005 12:18:41 AM | Scarlett...I'm so glad things turned out well for you...that can be a scary experience...I've had abnormal pap smears before; it's always heart-clutchingly scary when they say you need to come back in 6 months to get it checked again.
No one ever tells you that abnormal smears can be due to an infection or an inflammation such as those caused by yeast infections, recent sexual activity, contraceptives, or use of vaginal preparations, so you always think the worst. I have a history of ovarian cysts, mainly got them when I was in my 20s-30s; another reason some of my pap tests could have been abnormal; as I haven't had any cysts since my 30s nor an abnormal smear since then, I'd say the dr is probably right. But it sure scared the heck out of me anyway!
Best of luck to you! | |
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| Genital Herpes
Posted: 9/27/2005 10:25:40 AM | haha i got whatever hsv-1 haha cause i got a cold sore this week :(
trying not to pick at it and go some tingly gel on it
i think lotsa ppl get the impression u were blowing someone if they see u with a cold sore ( if ur an adult anyway)
kids get away with it no problem.
i didn't blow anyone!!
or kiss anyone hahaha | |
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| Genital Herpes
Posted: 9/27/2005 10:26:22 AM | forgot this is even worse i got a job interview tomorrow hahah well hope this gel keeps it down i know makeup always helps a bit hehe just my luck | |
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| Genital Herpes
Posted: 9/27/2005 12:44:41 PM | >>i didn't blow anyone!!
You aren't exactly helping your chances of getting a date by admitting this.  | |
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| Genital Herpes
Posted: 9/27/2005 4:30:59 PM | umm admitting that i have a cold sore? ur the only one that ive read of on this forum that claims to not have had any strains of the herpes virus. BUT u could have it but it hasnt broke out yet. so its not definite whether u have it or not unless ur doctor tested ya and ya know for SURE. with TEST RESULTS. to prove.
KIDS AND ADULTS get cold sores
so why r u saying im not helping my chances of getting a date by admitting this?
i dont have GENITAL HERPES i have a cold sore.
its ppl like u who blow it out of proportion.
so go tell every child out there with a cold sore that nobody will ever date them when they get old bc they r forever infected with a strain of herpes ALSO KNOWN AS A cold sore. :) | |
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| Genital Herpes
Posted: 9/27/2005 6:58:17 PM | | whatever man ppl blowing it way outta proportion. its a fkn cold sore not a vagina sore. ffs...>_<' and anyway BOTH UR OPINIONS MEAN SHIT ALL TO ME unless of course ur a doctor. :) honestly SOME ppl come online and hide behind their computers and point their noses up on a whole lot of things that are not that big of a deal. get a life. | |
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| Genital Herpes
Posted: 9/27/2005 7:18:36 PM | >>umm admitting that i have a cold sore?
LOL, no! I meant admitting that you haven't blown anyone is probably hurting your chances
! | |
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| Genital Herpes
Posted: 9/27/2005 7:21:52 PM | oh ok then my last two mssgs are for that chick who doesnt even have a pic of her face up. usually pics that cropped means they r ugly overweight or just trying to hide a cold sore :)
and yeah i haven't smith.
i dont care if it hurts my chances im here looking to meet new ppl not to date :) says so in my profile :)
good to know there are a bunch of followers in here ;)
yes i know u will retaliate saying i dont have my pic up. i had it up and u have seen it from my first post on this thread :) | |
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| Genital Herpes
Posted: 9/27/2005 10:42:51 PM | | Okay you can't just up and dump someone for admitting they have genital herpes,you have to go about it gently and explain why you do not want to be with them.It will hurt them less.. | |
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| Genital Herpes
Posted: 9/28/2005 11:26:38 AM | | no thanks, i dont think anyone wants to, looking at herpes might be contagious! u never know! | |
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| Genital Herpes
Posted: 9/28/2005 11:46:42 AM | | Before we met, an ex b/f of mine spent 3 years involved with a woman who had genital herpes. Apparently she could tell in advance when to expect an outbreak and they took proper precautions. He did his homework and was well informed. They had a healthy sex life and he never contracted the disease. Not really something you want to hear from your b/f but he was pretty open about his past relationships. | |
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| Genital Herpes
Posted: 9/28/2005 1:51:13 PM | 80% of people with herpes don't even know they have it~
In talking with others, as well as from my own experience, I've heard of horrible ways both men and women inform their new partners.
1. Some wait until the ring is on the finger then tell the man or woman whom they've been sleeping with for six months or more, "Oh, by the way....."
2. One guy waited until his girlfriend had a coldsore on her mouth that coincided with his latest outbreak then blamed her for giving it to him!
I've discussed this with my doctor, and no, I've been tested and am herpes free. He said there is no protection that really works as the virus can lay dormant on the nerves, and can shed without visable outbreaks several times a year and spread to other people. Some have it on their thighs and behind, stomachs, lips, in their eyes (stromal Kerititis), and no condom's going to be big enough to stop that exposure. I'd rather have a guy be honest and up front, and then I can say yes or no to exposure. After all, this would affect me for the rest of my life and everyone I was with from first outbreak onward if that relationship didn't work out.
My rule of thumb, condoms for the first six months then both get blood tests. If you want to go streaking through my privates you have a clean bill of health just as I do. If I loved the guy enough and he had this more than often silent disease I might consent to marriage or risking exposure. It would entirely depend on who he is and what he is to me.
A perfect stranger with herpes, I think should try some of the herpes dating websites first. | |
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| Genital Herpes
Posted: 9/28/2005 4:13:19 PM | Here's a thought. Just dont have sex with Random People unless you get to know someone and trust them a bit more.
The reason why 1 out of 4 women and 1 out of 5 men have it, is because our society is a Free for all. It's all about sex. Nothing to do with trust anymore.
Men would lie to get laid. Women would lie or hide the truth so a man won't reject them.
That's just how it is. | |
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Snow_7
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Joined: 7/28/2005
Msg: 90 | |
| Genital Herpes
Posted: 9/28/2005 8:54:30 PM | | Even if you know them it doesn't mean they have told you every thing, peopel hide things all the time. It's a scary world out there. | |
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Hal555
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Joined: 9/24/2005
Msg: 91 | |
| Genital Herpes
Posted: 9/28/2005 11:08:34 PM | | You should thank your lucky stars she had the good grace to inform you about the hazard you could face. Personally I would do that and then tell her that I'm not prepared to risk contracting a life changing affliction. People with herpes can and do join associations for meeting each other. They can support each other and of course engage in any activity they like. | |
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| Genital Herpes
Posted: 9/29/2005 5:52:20 AM |
Personally I would do that and then tell her that I'm not prepared to risk contracting a life changing affliction
It's not a life changing affliction! It's herpes. It's a virus like a cold, the flu, it's not going to kill you. The flu can kill you tho. Get the wrong strain and you could be laying 6 feet under.
For all the grade school kids on this site, you need to grow up and get informed. | |
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MsChar
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Joined: 9/21/2005
Msg: 93 | |
| Genital Herpes
Posted: 9/29/2005 6:36:26 AM | | I am informed, and it is a life changing disease, one that severly restricts who you can communicate your deepest most profound emotions to. We communicate by word, music, odour and touch. Our loved ones receive the message by sight, smell, hearing and touch. How sad to think we can't communicate fully, just because someone didn't give us relevant information so we could make an informed decision. Stick your head in the sand if you want but let me make the decision about what is life changing for me. | |
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| Genital Herpes
Posted: 9/29/2005 6:58:52 AM |
Before we met, an ex b/f of mine spent 3 years involved with a woman who had genital herpes. Apparently she could tell in advance when to expect an outbreak and they took proper precautions. He did his homework and was well informed. They had a healthy sex life and he never contracted the disease. Not really something you want to hear from your b/f but he was pretty open about his past relationships.
I have a friend who’s had it for 20+ years, and she has bad outbreaks; she lived with her last bf for 15 years…and he didn’t get it. Being well informed, taking precautions when needed, and knowing your body is key for both partners, according to her.
Here's a thought. Just dont have sex with Random People unless you get to know someone and trust them a bit more.
Exactly!
Even if you know them it doesn't mean they have told you every thing, peopel hide things all the time. It's a scary world out there.
Maybe…or maybe just some types of people hide things…but either way, if one is worried about anything they should take precautions…or not be intimate with someone they either don’t trust or if they think they might be hiding something.
You should thank your lucky stars she had the good grace to inform you about the hazard you could face. Personally I would do that and then tell her that I'm not prepared to risk contracting a life changing affliction. People with herpes can and do join associations for meeting each other. They can support each other and of course engage in any activity they like.
Yes, there are a number of places where people with similar afflictions can meet each other, but that also narrows down the number of people they can meet, and there are a lot of people who don’t see having herpes as a threat to a good relathionship. No offense meant, but I don’t believe that people with diseases should be ostracized for any reason, and I’m not saying that that’s what you meant in your post at all. It’s one thing to make a personal choice that one doesn’t want to be involved intimately with someone with a disease; we each need to decide that for ourselves. But I don’t believe we should limit anyone to ‘engage in any activity they like within their own association’, as that has a whiff of discrimination, and when what they have can be managed well, and will not kill anyone, I think it’s best left up to each person to make the decision for themselves if they can handle a partner who has this or not. Being honest is the main thing, and giving the other person the opportunity to decide for themselves is what’s key.
It's not a life changing affliction! It's herpes. It's a virus like a cold, the flu, it's not going to kill you. The flu can kill you tho. Get the wrong strain and you could be laying 6 feet under.
Very true…there are much more deadly and uncomfortable things out there that one can catch; even strep throat can kill you…personally, I’d much rather be told a partner has herpes rather than AIDS.
For all the grade school kids on this site, you need to grow up and get informed.
Exactly! I think people sometimes get scared because they don’t bother to get informed. Life itself is a scary thing, yet we live it every day…no matter what, if we’re informed about it, we can make better decisions.
I am informed, and it is a life changing disease, one that severly restricts who you can communicate your deepest most profound emotions to. We communicate by word, music, odour and touch. Our loved ones receive the message by sight, smell, hearing and touch. How sad to think we can't communicate fully, just because someone didn't give us relevant information so we could make an informed decision. Stick your head in the sand if you want but let me make the decision about what is life changing for me.
I don’t understand why it restricts who you can communicate with…unless you mean because someone wasn’t honest about having it and passed it on, and now one can’t share their emotions with another. If one has herpes and is honest with a potential partner about it, and that potential partner can’t handle it, then I’d say that person wasn’t the right one for them. And if the person who had herpes wasn’t honest, and passed it on to someone, then one wouldn’t want to be with them anyways. But that doesn’t preclude someone from finding a potential partner who can accept that they caught this from someone who either didn’t know they had it, or didn’t tell them they had it. The right person for them will be the one who doesn’t let it stop them from developing a relationship…as relationships are much more than someone having a disease. I agree that each person has to make the decision for themselves, but what happens if your partner doesn’t know they had it, they give it to you, you break up for whatever reason, and now you have it? Should you be ostracized for that? Should you not be able to find that relationship where you can share your emotions? No way. One just has to find that particular person who accepts them for all they are. | |
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| Genital Herpes
Posted: 9/29/2005 7:43:13 AM |
Exactly! I think people sometimes get scared because they don’t bother to get informed. Life itself is a scary thing, yet we live it every day…no matter what, if we’re informed about it, we can make better decisions.
I don't know about everyone else, i can't speak for them, but now that i'm "informed" of how easily it is caught and i'm "informed" that 1 in 4 ppl have it, i'm MORE SCARED.
It's NOT something i EVER want and WILL NEVER knowingly expose myself to such a thing. That is NOT wrong, there is NOTHING wrong with wanting to protect yourself.
cold sore or not, i still dont' want it, period. And as far as this comment
No offense meant, but I don’t believe that people with diseases should be ostracized for any reason, and I’m not saying that that’s what you meant in your post at all
ostrasized? the only way that can happen is if you blatently tell everyone, and if you only tell a potential mate and they decide not to continue to date you becasue they dont want herpes, there is NOTHING wrong with that. No way would i continue to date someone even if i liked them a lot, if they had something like that. Sex is important to me ina relatinship, and i could not have good sex constantly worrying if i were to catch something like herpes. period.
anyone else understand me? | |
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| Genital Herpes
Posted: 9/29/2005 8:03:44 AM |
I don't know about everyone else, i can't speak for them, but now that i'm "informed" of how easily it is caught and i'm "informed" that 1 in 4 ppl have it, i'm MORE SCARED.
It's NOT something i EVER want and WILL NEVER knowingly expose myself to such a thing. That is NOT wrong, there is NOTHING wrong with wanting to protect yourself.
cold sore or not, i still dont' want it, period. And as far as this comment
Hey, we’re all scared ;) There’s nothing wrong with wanting to protect oneself. No one wants to catch anything if they can help it, even if it’s not a deadly disease. But being well informed helps one to hopefully not catch anything; it also helps them to understand, and react, better when a potential partner says they have something. Just picture someone telling a person they care about that they have this, and the person knows nothing about the disease and reacts horribly. How do you think the person with the disease is going to feel, and do you think they’d now ever want to tell someone else? Some might not, while others might have expected such a reaction and moved on and continued to be honest about it. Everyone is different. But if you’re informed, you can react calmly and let them know how you feel. Even if you decide this person isn’t for you, they won’t have had a terrible reaction form someone about it, and they won’t feel like they can’t ever tell anyone again that they have this. I have to wonder, seeing some reactions on here, how much a bad reaction plays a part in a person not telling the next one that they have this, meaning it can get spread around even more.
ostrasized? the only way that can happen is if you blatently tell everyone, and if you only tell a potential mate and they decide not to continue to date you becasue they dont want herpes, there is NOTHING wrong with that. No way would i continue to date someone even if i liked them a lot, if they had something like that. Sex is important to me ina relatinship, and i could not have good sex constantly worrying if i were to catch something like herpes. period.
anyone else understand me?
I agree that potential mates should be told, and it’s not something one puts on a billboard ;) But, even if one is with friends and the topic comes up, they should be able to discuss it, if they want to, and not be ostracized…but that’s not the case. I’ve seen some people ostracized for a number of different things, simply because others disagreed with it. I know one person who was ostracized from a group simply because he wasn’t homophobic and the others were. And while I understand you clearly, let me pose a hypothetical: what of you were dating someone, it got very serious and you were contemplating marriage, or already had plans to do so. Then, your partner finds out they have herpes; they’ve had it a long time but never had a breakout so they never knew – and according to the information about it, this can be quite common; it’s one reason it’s spread so far and so fast – would you then dump the person you asked to marry you? Would you think they had cheated, or that they must have known and they lied to you about it? Again, it comes down to being well informed; that plays a part in if you choose to be with someone or to stay with someone.
PS: as for the 1-4/1-5, the statistics have been high for a long time, and herpes has been around for a very long time, so if you've been sexually active and not used protection every time - even though you feel you know the person well - then you can still get exposed to it. Herpes come from the same virus that causes chicken pox and a whole other slew of diseases; most of us have had chicken pox; some people have cold sores while others don't, whether they've been exposed to the virus or not. Possibly this is one reason they're having such a hard time coming up with a vaccine for it. | |
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| Genital Herpes
Posted: 9/29/2005 8:42:42 AM | Im a Nurse ....the best thing you can do is educate your self on all std's ....if you know how they are transmitted, ....when they are active and when not then you are already ahead of the game. You will never know in this day and age if you will ever not come in contact with it because as vigilant and careful as we are ....sometimes it just gets pass even us .
You have all heard of medical equiptment not being sterlized properly etc ....sooooo in this world that weeeeee all live in the best you can do is be educated and use what you learn... | |
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| Genital Herpes
Posted: 9/29/2005 8:46:17 AM | | Its not always a her ....it could be a he or a you or what ever ...if you play grown up games , then be a friend also and if ...as you say sheeee ...at least be a friend ....I mean it could be youuuuuuu....its 1 in 4 and probley higher by now .....! | |
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| Genital Herpes
Posted: 9/29/2005 3:37:19 PM | It is funny to hear from people who arrogantly state they don't have herpes. First, you may have it and have never shown a symptom. Sorry to tell you. You may be the 1 in 4 who have Herpes Simplex 2 or 7 out of 10 who have Herpes Simplex 1. Do that math!
It can be bummer during an outbreak. I have never had a cold sore on my genitals or mouth. I would bet a paycheck I have herpes though...check the numbers above. I might have lucked out and I'm one of the maybe 2 out of 10 who somehow has dodged it. Could be. You may be lucky enough to have dodged it but I wouldn't bet a paycheck on it. | |
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| Genital Herpes
Posted: 9/29/2005 8:16:44 PM | ^^^^ ^^^^
I've read most of the posts on this thread and have heard several people mention that they've been tested for genital herpes. I saw my doctor today and told her about the forum. She told me that there was no test for genital herpes. A person could be infected and infect their partner without ever knowing they have the virus until they have an outbreak. It can remain dormant in your system for years without symptoms or you may never have an outbreak but still be a carrier. | |
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