| Should salary determine relationships?
Posted: 9/16/2005 12:50:19 PM | | There are a lot of shallow lazy girls out there. Instead of working towards something they want to sleep their way to something. Glorified prostitutes. | |
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Raedyn
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Joined: 8/25/2005
Msg: 227 | |
| Should salary determine relationships?
Posted: 9/16/2005 1:02:39 PM | Money should not be a basis. If everyone involved in the realtionship is comfortable with the circumstances, many good realtinships are there without much money at all.
I worked 2 jobs while one of my exes was not working. We lived together at the time, so all I asked was that he help with the at the at home jobs. Money had nothing to do with making a great relationship. | |
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| Should salary determine relationships?
Posted: 9/16/2005 1:13:36 PM | This is an interesting topic. I think it's great that people in this site are willing to honestly talk about things like this.
I've tried out a few other dating sites with pretty much no success. The two reasons for that are: 1) I have what's considered a middle income. I'm not rich nor am I living hand-to-mouth and 2) I have full custody of two children.
That means I'm not what some women are looking for. No big deal, as far as I'm concerned. That doesn't necessarily make her a bad or "shallow" person anymore than it makes me an impoverished loser if I don't make the money she's expecting. It just makes us incompatible based on her expectations.
One other site asks for your income range and lets you search (or eliminate) potential dates based on income, along with age, religion, location, poltics, education level, body type, number of children, etc.
I guess I look at it like this: if it's important to you, then it's important.
Some people might think a Protestant refusing to date a Catholic (or vice versa) is shallow, but if religion is a significant part of who you are...then I don't see how that is shallow. In other words, it's not for me to judge.
Money is important, whether we like it or not. It was pointed out in this thread before, and I saw it too: the pattern of (generally) women requiring men to have incomes of $75,000 or $100,000 or more in order to date them. These women often had (or at least said they had) very low incomes by comparison. The other trend I noticed was that the younger and, frankly, more Barbie-esque the woman is...the higher the likelihood that she expects the guy to be more financially secure.
OF COURSE, THIS TREND DOES *NOT* REFLECT ALL THE WOMEN - OR EVEN MOST OF THE WOMEN - IN THE SITE...but it was prevalent enough to be noticed.
Is that a poor reflection on materialistic women or a poor reflection on men who use their resources to target women based solely on looks? Probably both, but that's a topic for another discussion.
There's nothing wrong with considering the practical aspects of dating (especially for those of us in our 30's and those older) and money is an important matter.
At this point in my life, I look at dating as a chance to get out and have a nice time. I don't look at each date (not that I've had that many over the recent years) as a potential wife. For that reason, I personally don't care about her income. If I decide that I'm ready to start getting serious with someone, then money, income and expenses WILL be important.
I guess I just choose to look at being overlooked because I don't have a $2 million home or a $100,000 income as a savings of my time, not as a rejection that I should feel bad about. If I don't have what will make you happy...then by all means move on to someone else and best of luck to you. | |
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| Should salary determine relationships?
Posted: 9/16/2005 1:19:22 PM | Wow, that was a bit harsh engrishmofaka. Sounds like someone has been burnt in the past, LOL. I personally dont have a problem with a woman that doesnt work a paying job, if she is a stay at home mom. I have a great amount of respect for our stay at home mom's. I have my kiddos 50% of the time, and let me tell you, 50% is exhausting. To all out stay at home momma out there, I  you. There is no way to put a value on what you do.
Ozzie | |
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| Should salary determine relationships?
Posted: 9/16/2005 1:20:38 PM | No is the answer to that.
I dont discount anyone based on pay.
I do ask what people do for a living but its not because of sheer $ amounts.
I want to know how what that person is doing is going to help me and the family in a practical way. Its more about skill and know-how.
He does need to be able to keep up with his rent and bills, just generally being a responsible person. Aside from that, the rest is a joint effort. | |
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| Should salary determine relationships?
Posted: 9/19/2005 2:23:55 AM | And responsibility is a key componant to being in a relationship. If someone is not responsibilie enough to have secured decent employment, what makes anyone think that person will be any more responsible in a relationship?
Ozzie | |
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| Should salary determine relationships?
Posted: 9/20/2005 8:06:02 AM | SaraB: "Problems arise from differences in way of living, traditions, what you wear, what you buy, and enough areas to make the subject important. Of course, there are those who believe love conquers all! Yeah, right."
I think that being from a different background and having different traditions actually strengthen a relationship as because of the differences you have what another partner lacks, and thus have more to share (for example a smart girl can bring and share knowledge and deep conversation with a guy who is funny, comforting, and confident, even if he isnt all too smart and they dont seem like theyd be perfect togeather). I believe love conquers all. | |
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| Should salary determine relationships?
Posted: 9/20/2005 12:21:23 PM | Doesn't matter I make 70g and am told I am good looking and nice sweet laid back all that blah blah blah bullshit.
I think women now adays are confused or are all looking for the $$$ and looks and personalities | |
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| Should salary determine relationships?
Posted: 9/20/2005 12:30:48 PM | Personality will get a long way with women. IMHO it will overshadow money and looks, if you come across as confident and fun. Looks and money are fun and dandy, but what good are they if the person just stands there like a lump. A personality is what gets you on that dancefloor, able to strike up a decent conversation, and seperate you from the rest of the dime a dozen men out there that have either looks or money, but no personality.
As far as opposites making a relationship stronger...that is a very romantic viewpoint that rarely works out in real life. It is a lot of fun while you are having fun and enjoying new experiences, but the moment a problem crops up, you will get stuck because you will butt heads about how to solve the problem. So not only will you have a problem to solve, but you will also have to resolve the conflict of two completley different viewpoint of how to solve that problem. This wont come evident in the relationship until later, but it will become a problem.
Ozzie | |
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| Should salary determine relationships?
Posted: 9/20/2005 2:41:10 PM | | Personally i think its okay. My ex made 100 K plus and i am used to that lifestype. altho money doesnt make you happy! I found that out. but i think women are okay to expect or want a guy in a $$ range . it just a preference and life has choices nd what not so what the hell???!!! | |
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seirra
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Joined: 5/22/2005
Msg: 237 | |
| Should salary determine relationships?
Posted: 9/20/2005 6:28:47 PM | ou812ic...I disagree...speaking for myself...
salary makes very little difference to me...I have my own money and am secure.
I have been on both sides of the fence tho...I've been broke and I've
had money...
Ironically, I was much happier broke! I think the journey to attain the goal was more fulfilling than arriving!
So no not all women are 'confused' or are looking for your money!
I agree with Ozzie...it's all in the Personality! | |
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| Should salary determine relationships?
Posted: 9/20/2005 6:32:31 PM | | Salary shouldn't be a basis for a relationship; I don't care at what or how much they make...that said, I'd at least like it if the person was employed ;) Just as I don't want a guy to support me monetarily, I don't want to support him that way either. Different story if we're married and he loses his job; that's part of what a partnership is. | |
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| Should salary determine relationships?
Posted: 9/20/2005 11:36:01 PM | celery is good...no extra calories....and crunchy
but I am not sure how it determines a relationship...
oh...I know ...it makes you trimmer and more desirable to your partner. | |
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| Should salary determine relationships?
Posted: 9/20/2005 11:48:42 PM | | You know...I'm quite happy doing what I'm doing. I don't rake in tons of money, or have people to boss around, or whatever. I do enjoy what I do though and I do make enough to get by, with a fair bit on the side for saving and a bit of fun now and then. I think that if a woman has a problem with that, then its HER problem, not MINE. | |
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| Should salary determine relationships?
Posted: 9/20/2005 11:59:00 PM | I have the coolest job in the world
I build custon electric guitars
I love my job
but I am not making the money a doctor or lawyer makes
I do not care .....If I had their jobs I would hate my life
People that make that kinda of money usually get paid like that because they are doing stuff
that no one would really want to do anyway
And women that size up there men by their salaries can go suck eggs
It is 2005 if a woman can not float her own boat to a large extent
I do not want her | |
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| Should salary determine relationships?
Posted: 9/21/2005 12:12:09 AM | | guitarman...as long as you're happy that's what's important, and that should be just as important to the woman in your life. But I have to disagree with one statement you made; I make pretty good money for a single person and I love what I do; I just happened to be be lucky enough to get into a field that not many people were at the time, and once it took off, I did pretty well. I'm not rich, but I have enough to do the other things I enjoy outside of work; being able to cover the bills and have that is all that matter to me. | |
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| Should salary determine relationships?
Posted: 9/21/2005 2:01:25 AM | I don't care how rich anybody is, but if a woman asks about your salary,
you gotta run especially if you DO make alot of money.
Where does the interest in YOU begin, is it after you tell her your worth? | |
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| Should salary determine relationships?
Posted: 9/21/2005 12:13:26 PM | | Ready2Rock...why does salary matter? It doesn't mean you are a bad person if you don't have a lot of money. But, what it can matter in is "can you afford to do the things and go places with her". I've dated both. If love was there, it wouldn't matter anyway. But..if he could do the travel, etc. dinners, etc. and the love was there...all the better. It's just of matter of fun money. It doesn't make you a better person with it or without it. | |
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| Should salary determine relationships?
Posted: 9/21/2005 12:32:53 PM | | You raised a very good point here. We don’t get into relationships just because of the cute tush or that amazing intelligence. It has a lot to do with the type of lifestyle we live and I am sure everyone wants it to be complimented. I don't say money is important. However, ability to blend into another lifestyle might. | |
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