| |
| Should salary determine relationships?
Posted: 8/23/2005 6:37:26 PM | It’s a mixed up muddled up shook up world.
It's a sad fact that many women are only after the $$$. I'm self-employed. About 4 years ago, business was great. I was making money hand-over-fist. Had a gorgeous g/f, head over heals in love. What I didn't realize until later, after 9/11 and the market began to lag, she wasn't quite so eager to hang around and be faithful if I wasn't dropping tons of cash on her. Yeah, it was my stupidity and a hard lesson learned, but also makes you look at all women with a somewhat jaundiced eye.
What really burns my ass is women can get dolled up, go out clubbing, get totally plastered and never spend a penny. It just ain't fair!!! I've been told certain guys can do the same thing, but I'm not quite desperate enough to start hitting the gay bars.  | |
|
| Should salary determine relationships?
Posted: 8/23/2005 6:39:32 PM | OP, please bear in mind that "What do you do for a living?" does not equate to "How much money do you make?" If I ask a guy what he does for a living, it's because I'm interested in what he does for a living, not how much money he makes at it. I'm interested in learning about him and, depending on his answer, the discussion can take all kinds of interesting twists and turns. "Are you a firefighter? Well, I remember the time ...."
See? Not every woman is out for a man's money. | |
|
| Should salary determine relationships?
Posted: 8/23/2005 7:43:27 PM | | personally, I will not go down the dating road where a guy is way above and beyond my tax bracket...the discrepency makes for an uncomfortable situation. | |
|
| Should salary determine relationships?
Posted: 8/24/2005 12:04:13 AM | "What do you do for a living?" and "What kind of work do you do?"
I ask these questions so I can find out what type of work he does, not how much money he makes. I personally like a man who does physical work, but do not limit myself to those men.
Show me a girl who won't look twice at a nice lookin man putting shingles on a roof sans shirt and I'll show you someone who is lookin at the man with the fat wallet.
I'm watching roof tops,construction sites, roadwork areas........... know what I mean?
 | |
|
| Should salary determine relationships?
Posted: 8/24/2005 1:17:58 AM | Now come on men. Why would you get insulted because a women is up front with you and honest about her looking for a partner that can provide financial security. Finding a match is not just about looking at a picture and thinking, "yea, I would like to jump in the sack with him/her". But there are many levels to finding someone that you properly match up with, and finances may be one of the things to consider. If you have a woman (or man) that is accustom to living a country club life style, she is going to want a partner that will provide the means for her to remain at the economic level that she is used to. Even if she is a hopeless romantic, I doubt that she would trade in a house on the hill to move into the ghetto. That doesnt make her wrong, or mean, or a b****, or a gold digger, or anything else. It just shows that she is realistic and looking for a partner that will have the best odds of lasting. I would think that men would appreciate if a woman puts it right out there, "I am looking for a financially stable man." This is not any different than is a man told a woman, "I dont want to date a woman who has children." Yet that is acceptable.
We all have things that we believe will make a perfect parter for us. If a man or woman tells you that you dont fit their mold, that is not an insult. It just means it was not a fit. Move on and find someone that does accept you for what you have to offer. | |
|
| Should salary determine relationships?
Posted: 8/24/2005 5:27:19 AM | | Matched "lifestyle" and finances still aren't the things that make the right, or lasting relationship. It's the personalities, and if anyone looks at anything else for their criteria, they are always going to fall short of the best relationship they can have. Golddiggers can take a hike here, and they have. The last two I have gone with were money oriented and left,good bye and good riddence. (Their friends tell me that now they are both miserable, wonder why?) | |
|
| Should salary determine relationships?
Posted: 8/24/2005 6:00:05 AM | Well, I AM a college student and I do work.....
One to support myself and the other to improve myself.
I expect my partner to do his best to improve himself at every opportunity, and on every level.
The best one can do is what I expect and that doesn't mean someone who is content flipping burgers! | |
|
| |
| Should salary determine relationships?
Posted: 8/24/2005 6:32:43 AM | autumn is right. i make over 50k and i can tell you it isn't always an obscene amount of money and i earn every penny of it. i worked for it and i don't think it's wrong to expect the same from someone else.
asking what someone does for a living is not shallow. as mentioned before it's a good question to ask to get to know someone. it's really stupid and judgmental thinking to think otherwise. i generally ask a new person that right after i ask, what's your name.
scy - matrched lifestyle and finances ARE a huge part of it. and if it's matched it's hardly gold digging then is it? | |
|
| Should salary determine relationships?
Posted: 8/24/2005 6:34:24 AM | I think demanding exactly HOW much they make is a little strange...I demand a man with a full-time job though...I don't care how much you make, as long as you're not going to ride my coattails. And trust me, I can't demand to much, I make PEANUTS!  | |
|
| Should salary determine relationships?
Posted: 8/24/2005 6:48:12 AM | Ummm.... I am not shallow... but I'd also like to know that the guy I'm with who would be potentially a life partner is able to support himself. I'm not saying he has to be making a six figure salary, but it helps if he is employed... and preferrably not at a convenience store a fast food restaurant. I already "carried" one man who wasn't self sufficient.. I don't need to do that anymore.
No salary shouldn't determine relationships but in the real world it does. I think because people are reaching for unattainable goals. It's my understanding that the majority of men would rather have a partner who did work and who could take care of herself. Considering most women no longer want to be stay at home moms anyway. | |
|
| Should salary determine relationships?
Posted: 8/24/2005 6:53:58 AM | if your relationship is with a hooker lol
but seriously yeah. im not where i want to be financially and thats partly why im avoiding anything serious | |
|
| Should salary determine relationships?
Posted: 8/24/2005 9:17:35 AM | ...it is all about security...for those women that do not have there own money , or cannot provide the lifestyle they want to live for themselves , it will matter...they want to be sure you will be a good provider for them and the children that come into your lives...
...for others it is all about the person , and the riches in life that you can share together that don't have price tags hanging off them...
...I like you make a honest living with a better than average wage , but my flow of dough is not large enough to just go out there and start makin' babies...
...there are many women on this site , who are more secure than myself , heck they can go to work and I will be the stay at home dad...but some how that doesn't seem to fit the bill , what women wants to support her man none , although many women want there man to support them... | |
|
| |
| |
| |
| |
| Should salary determine relationships?
Posted: 8/24/2005 10:10:13 AM | ...and I would be happy to be the day care...but there is one thing I can't do..."Breast feed"..
..but I am a good suckler...of course I am referin' to an infant , the first years should be with the mother...bonding | |
|
| Should salary determine relationships?
Posted: 8/24/2005 10:53:13 AM | No, salary shouldn't determine relationships...people determine relationships. I'll ask what someone does for a living because I'm interested in learning about him. I mean, we do spend more time at work than with our families during the week, so that's a big chunk of that person's life. Now, I would never ask how much $$ they make because that's just a rude question!
Just because a man doesn't make a large salary doesn't mean he's a lazy bum, either. Some of these guys work their asses off, doing interesting work and just do not get paid big bucks. So what? In the 10 years since my divorce, I've never had a boyfriend who made more $$ than I do...some have made 1/3 of what I make. Big deal, who cares? I'm savvy enough to know how to protect myself financially and I'm sensitive enough to not make them feel pressured to spend more than they can afford on me.
As long as two people like and respect one another, it shouldn't be an issue. Oh, and it doesn't hurt if they really rock my world in the sack. | |
|
| Should salary determine relationships?
Posted: 8/24/2005 11:03:06 AM | Yeah!
Just because a man doesn't make a large salary doesn't mean he's a lazy bum, either. Some of these guys work their asses off, doing interesting work and just do not get paid big bucks.
It's good to see somebody say that.
Ok, so my work isn't very interesting, but I work my ass off and it generally pays the bills. I'm in that $20,000 or less per year bracket, and you know what? There's nothing to be ashamed of here. If someone isn't interested in dating me because I make less than 20k per year, well, the disinterest is mutual. Life can be valuable even for those of us on tight budgets. | |
|
| |
| Should salary determine relationships?
Posted: 8/24/2005 1:27:21 PM | Salary doesn't bother me one way or the other persoanly. I normaly ask about a person job simply because its the normal thing to do and gives you something to discuss. I would say if he has a job is a plus. LOL But you can't put an amount on Love.
As far as going below my income level or above well I'm lucker then most and have a decent place to live in. I would say it more depends on the person and how he carries himself.
I had a different live style growing up most of my friends parents had decent incomes but I didn't my mom was single at the time. So I hung with both decent income families and not so decent income families. | |
|
| Should salary determine relationships?
Posted: 8/24/2005 2:03:51 PM | Women seeking relationships would seriously not want to be with a man who makes less money than she does or makes no money at all. The majority of women on the planet are materialistic by nature. They want to live a comfortable livestyle or demonstrate a better status from the Jane next door which requires money. Men want nice looking poon so they go to college so that when they are finished they can go out into the world and compete against each other so have all the materialistic things that it would take to attract the best looking poon for a girlfriend, wife, and mother of their children. Many women are subconciously drawn to the better providers or more stable men because they prefer not to be with losers who will drag them down, steal their money and dump them once they are pregnant and can't provide for a family. Others believe that holding a good job is a sign of confidence and holds the potential for baby to big steps toward advancing in society. Many women like to show off what the have compared to the next woman......bigger diamond ring, water ski boat etc...., Ford explorers instead of mini-vans to transport their children to and from. The guy in the stupid looking bear suit on the corner jumping up and down advertising waterbeds and end of the roll carpets just doesn't define a winner.
Denying this fact is BS and you chicks know this! Do you really want to live in a dump or apartment forever?
Many people would like to be empathetic toward non-strivers but not me. It is just too fake for me and goes against my principles and it's dishonest. | |
|
| Should salary determine relationships?
Posted: 8/24/2005 2:13:04 PM | I am shallow...
I like to know what someone does for a living.
1. It is called getting to know them.
2. I dont want to date someone that can not hold a job down.
3. How much they make is a issue when it comes to getting serious. I dont want to ,have to support the person I am with. As long as he can support himself... then it is good.
I am not saying that they have to make some un -godly amount of money. But enough for them to live comfortable as I do.
| |
|
Home
login 
