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| Should salary determine relationships?
Posted: 8/30/2005 10:41:38 PM | Women judge men by the size of their wallets. Always have. Men judge women by their looks. Always have. If she doesn't like your wallet, just tell her you don't like her face.
I'm just a blue collar guy but I:
1) Have two 2004 vehicles. (one a $40,000 Mercedes-Benz truck)
2) Fly my own ultralight aircraft
3) run my own business
4) take a month off every year - go to Europe
5) own two homes - one for living - one for investment
6) have no credit card debt.
I have a good lifestyle.
Yet I wouldn't give the time of day to any chick who wanted to know how much I made. Women that need to know that, are interested in finding a lifestyle mate, not interested in any man in particular. I want a women who wants a soulmate, not a lifestyle mate. Guys, stay away from lifestyle mates. They may give you a kid, but they will take half of everything you ever worked for, and they will take the kid, too. In the end, you will be left with no lifestyle, no wife, and no kid. Those women are deadly. Run like hell. | |
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| Should salary determine relationships?
Posted: 8/30/2005 11:06:00 PM | I have to agree with someone who spoke earlier when they said that some women ask what a person does for a living not to see how much money they earn, but what they spend the majority of their life doing....do they like it, is it they passion, is it just a job, do they have dreams or desires to do more.....etc.
I think that men too like to know what a woman does, does she enjoy it or want something different. Gives much insight to the person, are they going to spend tons of time griping and moaning about what they do, do they have many unfilled dreams and goals? The list goes on the gist is there.
As to the date paying for a sitter, well I have not needed a babysitter in way too many years, but when I was single and parenting I had many dates offer to pay a sitter to spend an evening doing something. It was never suggested by me, they wanted to go out and it was not in my budget to go at that time.
I do believe so long as a person can afford their lifestyle, power on whatever you make. If you are looking at a relationship (male or female) as a way of augmenting or subsidizing your lifestyle.....bad....bad...bad.
It is true in this day as well, that usually both partners have to work in order to raise a family. There are very, very few who could do it on one person's income and have a comfortable existence.
(4 cents worth!) | |
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| Should salary determine relationships?
Posted: 8/31/2005 4:52:37 AM | | ...here is an honest post...I make fifteen eighty-five per hour , regular full time union job...medical dental , extended insurance ...... who wants to have my baby ??????? | |
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ccv
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Joined: 8/18/2005
Msg: 207 | |
| Should salary determine relationships?
Posted: 8/31/2005 8:56:02 AM | | LAVERBOY hi exactly. I am a self made women and it was hard for me to find a guy.Largely because of the emotional damage women like this do. It can be life crippling to a male that has envolved himself with one of these women. Sadly it is happening alot more than us women like to admit. Its a very ugly side of the female behavior.. | |
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| Should salary determine relationships?
Posted: 8/31/2005 9:20:02 AM | kreeboy_12,
I believe that people in general are looking for a person who is financially stable, or at least motivated to become financially stable. It makes for a better relationship in general. In my personal opinion I don't believe that salary determines a relationship.... or what im looking for in a person, but I do believe that If I am going to settle down or date someone, I would want her to being working towards her "dream job" or if she is doing what she loves and isn't making a killing, that she was passionate about what she was doing.
First, I believe that if someone is passionate about whay they do, they will make a killing.
Second, That's a great attitude to have...at your age. I used to feel the same way (about the part that I bolded.) But, ten years later, that man better have come damn close to achieving his goals.
laverboy,
I hate to break the news to you. This thread isn't about white/blue collar work. It's about how much people earn. I know for a fact that a lot of blue collar workers make much more money than many pencil pushers.
Edit:
*raises hand* Slap, I will!! | |
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| Should salary determine relationships?
Posted: 8/31/2005 9:33:33 AM | Mspicky, you're not breaking any news to me. I already know that. Case in point: My father had a tile contractor come in and lay tile throughout his basement. He and his crew were there and gone in two days. The bill? $8000.
But a lot of women do value education above income. The snotty ones do. The gold diggers just care about raw numbers. | |
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| Should salary determine relationships?
Posted: 8/31/2005 11:25:42 AM | | Only if you're materialistic, shallow, and lack self-confidence, in my opinion. Are some extra hundreds gonna keep you warm at night? And some of these women should maybe try making some of their own money | |
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| Should salary determine relationships?
Posted: 8/31/2005 3:33:58 PM | But expand this argument that is revolving around income. Cant you argue that discriminating against potential partners on any basis is shallow. Yet we all do it. We all like certain body types, eyes color, if there are kids, shyness vs social, whether or not someone has tattoos, how about if someone is missing all their teeth, attractiveness, age, and the list can go on and on. Since we all have our specific likes and dislikes, cant it be said that every single person on the site is shallow and mean since they do not agree to go out with every single person that sends them a "hello" email?
Personally I dont see being selective as being shallow. It is just picking and choosing the attributes that attract you to a person. If one of those attributes is that a person is financially stable, then so be it. | |
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| Should salary determine relationships?
Posted: 9/2/2005 9:38:27 AM | | I think anything monetary needs to be left out of determining a mate. Many a good girl goes lonely because "Oh I cant find a rich guy to support me, and the closest thing I have the perfect boyfriend aside from money works as a cashier!" See how silly that sounds? A girl with real standards (ie: intellect, aspiration to reach his goal, guy open to support, open-minded, caring, exiting, etc) knows that standards are highly subjective. I dont hold ANYONE to a higher standard then me for there wallet or whatever. | |
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| Should salary determine relationships?
Posted: 9/2/2005 12:22:51 PM | It is anymore fair to tell someone:
"I wont date you because you are ugly"
"I wont date you because you have 46 kids"
"I wont date you because you dont have a degree"
"I wont date you because you are too skinny"
"I wont date you because your feet stink"
"I wont date you because you dress funny"
and on and on
Bottom line is that we all like what we like, and not everyone fits into our mold of what we view as a good partner. If someone sees a good partner as someone financially stable then so be it. Respect their views. But I wouldnt call them names and come to assumptions that they are shallow people. Just my 2 cents.
Ozzie | |
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| Should salary determine relationships?
Posted: 9/2/2005 6:22:37 PM | Have to agree....finances are just one of many screening criteria that people have in weeding out potential mates.
I don't think anyone should be faulted on what they use as criteria, obviously if it isn't in line with mine....good to know.
I have to say that although I don't have an actual dollar amount linked to it, I certainly don't relish the idea of hooking up with someone who will be relying on my income to enjoy life's basic needs. Nice to know that they can float their own boat, and carry their own baggage. So....have to agree with Ozzie | |
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| Should salary determine relationships?
Posted: 9/16/2005 2:26:04 AM | | My goodness those hippie girls are everywhere: Yes, money and financial responsibility are factors in any relationship, especailly when marriage is at stake. There are many factors which make up a good relationship and yes money is one. If you are only interested in NOW and quick sex, then who cares: If you are interested in a long term relationship, I surely do not want to be hooked up with a girl whose only attribute to mankind is her body. Food, insurance,mortgage payments, car expense, just to name a few, are normal and ordinary expenses any couple incurrs. No I do not want to be a sugar daddy to any girl; so in this day of womens liberation, she has to bear some of the financial load also. If you do have assets, please get a pre-nupital agreement signed otherwise when the judge hammers the paper work out, you might be supporting god´s gift to mankind for a long time. I have to Laugh a little to think that muli millionare actor Nicolas Cage in his forties married a 19 year waitress. I am sure he had his lawyers draw up a pre-nupital agreement. | |
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| Should salary determine relationships?
Posted: 9/16/2005 4:27:51 AM | Should salary determine relationships? This is a tricky question.
I've never asked a man how much money he makes and I've never ended a relationship over salary. I know though, that I don't want to be a "sugar mommy".
I had a bf once that was very upset that I made more money than he did. That's always disturbed me. | |
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| Should salary determine relationships?
Posted: 9/16/2005 7:37:50 AM | Brassticks: "I surely dont want to get hooked up with whose only attribute is her body. Food, insurance, mortgage payments, car, expense, just to name a few, are normal and ordinary expenses any couple incurrs. No I dont want to be a sugar daddy to any girl; so in this day of womens liberation, she has to bear some of the financial load also.
Well said! Though falling into the sugar daddy trap should be avoided at all cost, watch how much you spend in the relationship, if she doesnt reciprocate finances that may be a red flag. I dont want to support any girl, but in a long term relationship if I have to pay for everything I like to hold all the power to make things fair and equal. | |
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| Should salary determine relationships?
Posted: 9/16/2005 9:44:08 AM | Being financially responsible, and insisting that you have a partner that is also financially responsible, is not being a sugar momma. It is just smart planning. Yes, it is romantic to think and say that money doesnt matter, it is all about the love and warm fuzzies. But if you plan on having a long terms relationship with that person there will come a time when finances will have a direct effect on how you live. On our profiles we list the things we enjoy and are interested in. If you love going to the beach, listening to concerts and quiet evenings at a nice restraunt, how happy are you going to be with a guy that cant afford gas to put in his car (if he has one), turns on the radio instead of going to a concert, and thinks a $6 Burger King buger is fancy food? It aint going to work no matter how romantic you are. It is better to be upfront on your expectations, even financial ones. That does not make someone a sugar momma or daddy. It just insures that the proper puzzle pieces are fitting together.
Ozzie | |
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kinda!
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Joined: 9/8/2005
Msg: 219 | |
| Should salary determine relationships?
Posted: 9/16/2005 10:08:27 AM | you know what i need a partner a life long partner in all of my areas of living. no, money should not be a factor for all of us, some of us don't care. but i find men freak out when i say i got 3 daughters the first thing they ask me is how much money i make . so my response is usually enough to make it , or sometime i say i don't work right now,just to see if how they respond, i mean i hate when guys assume that i need someone to support me, i do need some one to be supportive. i ain't no gold digger, i don't want to support anyone either so a guy should make enough to handle by bundles and me , cause i make enough to handle my bundles and me. does that make sense? | |
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| Should salary determine relationships?
Posted: 9/16/2005 10:18:42 AM | | If money is all its about it would be cheaper to pick up a hooker and you dont have to deal with the drama and you know what she is about up front me i could care less how much she has or does not have im in it for love money has never been a factor for me and never will be and ive been on both sides of the fence ive had a silver spoon in my mouth and food stamps in my pocket either way i was still happy i hope to find someone with the same thoughts on this as well | |
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| Should salary determine relationships?
Posted: 9/16/2005 10:49:26 AM | | Noone said that it was "all about money" that was your assumption and words. I believe in romance and the warm fuzzies as much as the next person. But in determining if someone is a good fit with you and your expectations, it is not unreasonable to consider their financial situation as one of the pieces of the puzzle. How often do we hear members complain about other people leading them on and then yanking the rug out from under them? All the time. Being up front about your expectations and what you consider important will help to keep this from happening. Not just with money, but with anything else you consider to be important. Money just happens to be a touchy subject since it creates a very distinct line between the "haves" and "have nots". It is the same as talking about race or politics. Creating a situation where people can take very strong positions will lead to very differing and contrasting view points. | |
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| Should salary determine relationships?
Posted: 9/16/2005 10:52:08 AM | Money needs to be discussed, as it is important.
I'm not sure what the statistics are, but many marriages end because of money problems. And, something tells me it's the people who are saying that money is not/should not be important are the ones who have or will have a failed marriage because of their lack of money. | |
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| Should salary determine relationships?
Posted: 9/16/2005 12:06:22 PM | | MsPicky is absolutely spot on...but I will add that I DO think salary is important and can be a factor in another way. Sometimes, repeat sometimes, it is difficult to combine 2 families from vastly different backgrounds. Problems arise from differences in way of living, traditions, what you wear, what you buy, and enough areas to make the subject important. Of course, there are those who believe love conquers all! Yeah, right. | |
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| Should salary determine relationships?
Posted: 9/16/2005 12:38:37 PM | yep, Sarah. I think I made that same point about 5 pages ago, hahahaha. Socioeconomical classes are very difficult to intigrate in a relationship because the way in which each percieve the world is vastly different. I am by no means saying it is impossible for people of two different income classes to get together and be happy for the rest of their life...but it can be a hurdle. Like any other traits people bring to a relationship, when you have to mesh vastly different points of views, there are going to be hurdles and conflicts to overcome, moreso than the coming together of two people that share similar expereinces and life circumstances. JMHO.
Ozzie | |
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