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| Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 5/17/2006 8:19:06 PM | again- then is there sexual tension between brothers and sisters?
It comes down to more than having the equpiment - it comes down to respect for eachother and how much you value your friendship.
I am not sexually attracted to some of my male friends (that I have had for 15 years) - nor are they attracted to me. But just because they have a penis - I am supposed to jump into bed with them? Comeon - wake up - we are not barbarians anymore. But sometimes I wonder when it comes down to sex more than having cherished relationships. | |
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| Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 5/17/2006 8:56:21 PM | | We were having this discussion at work the other day. I have alot of male friends and know they are not gay. I turn to them sometimes when I don't understand the man I am dating and they do the same for me. The argument at work though was that no they can't because at the start of every male female relationship is an attraction of one kind or another and that generally "the male" is just biding his time. I am not fond of this theory but most at worked agreed with it. | |
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| Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 5/17/2006 9:57:38 PM | So are you attracted to your female friends? Did you become friends because you were sexually attracted to them?
I never was attracted to some of my male friends - and again they were not to me...
Again - there are other factors to friendships other thank a****and a vagina | |
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| Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 5/17/2006 10:12:36 PM | | I have female friends that are purely platonic, and these friendships are some of the best friendships I have made in my life. Sometimes, I have had crushes on them, but thinking that they would never work, I have never acted on them. I acted on one, and it didn't turn out all that well, but over time, we were able to rebuild a friendship again, which is more important than a relationship, or at least between the two of us it was. And it is honestly for the best. | |
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| Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 5/18/2006 7:16:13 AM | | Queen I think you might have misunderstood I was purely talking about male female friendship and the males version only. I also said I was not fond of this theory. So no I am not attracted to my female friends, we usually have a common bond but I have also found that men and women think very differently on friendships. It surprised me to find that most of my male friends say that thier friendships were first based on crushes like the gentleman stated above and that it is something you don't act on unless you think the chance is there and it wouldn't jeopardize what you have. Thus they pointed out alot of times they are just biding thier time. The relationships where my male friends said this wasn't the case is when they felt the girl in question was just one of the guys. | |
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| Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 5/20/2006 12:18:14 AM | I would tend to agree with you. It has been my experience that all of my male friends initially had crushes. They were like you said just biding their time. It even came to it that once I developed a fully committed relationship with a live in boyfriend some of them just stopped calling and even later gave me an altematum "its either him or me" sorry if I spelled that word incorrectly.
I do however have a male best friend whom I love very much but I care for him like a brother and was suprised to find out that at first he was interested then after a year gave up. So yes men and woman can be friends but I think only if that decision is made by the female as it would appear that with most men want more.
Bottom line Ithink a male female platonic friendship can work but it usually begins with oen liking the other or vice versa | |
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| Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 5/20/2006 1:10:54 AM | | I think they can be friends without sex. The problem is that once you really get to like the woman, you want to have sex. I made the mistake of getting involved with a close friend several years ago and we decided that as friends, we could share some recreational sex together just for fun. Later we had a falling out and the sex became a major issue. We're still good friends but things haven't been the same since. | |
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| Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 5/20/2006 2:21:59 AM | Ok to all the women that think your guy friends arent attracted to you...try this and prove me wrong....get one of your "un interested" male friends over one evening, and offer him some sex...itll take about 1.3 seconds and hell be naked , and ready....I dont understand why its so difficult for women to understand this.
When a woman classifies a man as a friend , she has already assessed his potential as a mate, and he did not meet her criteria. He gets relegated to friend status. You think of him as a brother etc., etc, Once a woman puts you in the friend category you will not get sex with her....this determination was made earlier and is the reason the man was made a friend instead of boyfriend.
When a guy has a female friend, he is sexually attracted to her, and thinks that by being her friend he has a chance at her panties.....wrong. Still they are attracted , she may consider him like a brother, but bet your ass, if you offer him sex ...he will be all over you.
For the record, if you are hideously ugly these rules dont apply, of course then you dont have any male friends either, because they arent bidding their time trying to get sex from you...unless they are hideous also.
There you go, the difference between mens and womens definition of opposite sex friends...there are gonna be some supplicating guys that will deny all this...butoffer tham some sex....and see for yourself....men are not evil, we are different....its when we are dishonest that problems arise.
Myself, all of my female friends are women i have had sex with before, or Exs...I really dont want to be friends with women Im attracted to.... | |
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| Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 5/20/2006 3:11:07 AM | 100% yes.. i have a male roommate.. we have been friends for about 6 years.. he separated from his wife about 2 years ago, and moved in with me about 1 year ago.. we are great friends.. but nothing sexual between us at all.. i wouldnt want to live with a woman, we're way too anal  | |
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| Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 5/20/2006 4:16:26 AM | .
From TexasTori @ Msg 378:
The argument at work though was that no they can't because at the start of every male female relationship is an attraction of one kind or another and that generally "the male" is just biding his time. I am not fond of this theory but most at worked agreed with it.
Wow! You have some very honest friends at work. They must like you a lot. 
Yes, this is exactly what I have heard most guys say privately all of my life. It is not an age dependent thing, either. Rather, it seems to be the honest feeling of most guys (if not all) in any age group. It’s just not something most guys will often admit in mixed company.
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| Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 5/20/2006 5:30:05 PM | Othala
so you basically have no respect for women?
you dont speak for all males = THANK GOD.
Again - my male friends and I did not become friends because we wanted to bang eachother - we became freinds because of simular interests, etc. I have been friends with their girlfriends - and them with my boyfriends. So basically you are saying is all men are sick oversexed jerks and pigs that cannot have a platonic relationship with a female? So you want to bang your sister? My male friends are like brothers to me - as I am their sister - and never ever in 15 years have we ever disrespected eachother by making moves, etc. I even had a male friend stay over - he was on the couch - me in my room. And even with the both of us drinking - nothing happend. We stayed up and talked about the old days - etc. because we HAVE RESPECT FOR EACHOTHER.
And your comment about if you are butt ugly you wouldn't have male friends anyway - go crawl back into the ditch you came from. There are plenty of females out there, some that I know, that some may not consider beauty queens and maybe overweight - but the guys they are dating/married to are hot. And no they are not rich, etc. I know a chick who is 350 pounds, has bad facial hair and pock marks - but she has many male friends. But then again it comes down to respect - something which you do not have for any females.
Wouldn't it be a shame if you suddenly became impodent and couldn't use your dk anymore - then I guess you wouldn't have any friends? | |
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| Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 5/20/2006 6:36:27 PM | yah - and its guys like you that make a lot of smart women stay single..
No respect....women are just meat for your pleasure -and we have no brains nor any control
its guys like this that can be replaced with a vibrator. | |
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| Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 5/20/2006 9:38:21 PM | Ok without making personal attacks on you, as you so freely did to me....
where in my post did i say anything at all about not respecting women?
You want to live with blinders on? fine...you feel your male friends are like brothers....trust me...they do not feel like you are their sister.
I gave you an honest mans views on this, Im pretty sure I have a lot more male friends than you do, I am also about 100% certain that being a man myself I have much better insight to how men think than you do . Dont want honesty? fine believe the lies.
To hell with it, if you are so ignorant you cant read and comprehend what i posted then there is absolutely no reason to attempt to clarify things ....thanks for the insults, i have been called far worse, by far better . And the fact that you know absolutely nothing at all about me, and yet judge me and accuse me of wanting to have sex with my sister....
sometimes i wish a woman was aware of the repercussions her trash mouth would get her if she were a man...
Ok go back to your whining and ****ing now
PS yes Im sure you and your male friends didnt become friends because you wanted to bang each other, you wanted them as friends because the were not worthy of your body...they wanted to have sex with you none the less, that is until they found out how ugly you were on the inside | |
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| Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 5/20/2006 10:16:07 PM | I have had LOTS of men as friends without sex...some were friends when I was married, and continued the friendship, some were ex boyfriends of my sister, who I have known for years, and remained friends with despite of their break up, some are/were co workers or neighbors. I have never had sex with ANY of them...just an unwritten rule, there. There was only ONE, who told me, years later, after we had distance between us, that there was an attraction on his part, and if he had even suspected that there would've been a chance......
....but he was a womanizer anyway...not my type....although, he was one of the best male friends I had....we were even platonic roommates for a year or so....
dbndon...
Yes, this is exactly what I have heard most guys say privately all of my life. It is not an age dependent thing, either. Rather, it seems to be the honest feeling of most guys (if not all) in any age group. It’s just not something most guys will often admit in mixed company. You didn't say anything of YOUR thoughts, but I see your posts about women 'friends' on here all the time.....yet you don't say anything in our defense ...would you say that is an 'honest' feeling from you, too? If so, I'm surprised!!!
~DC~ | |
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| Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 5/20/2006 10:22:10 PM | Apparently not. Guys who claim to want to just be my buddies always seem to vanish as soon as they figure out I REALLY do mean "no benefits" | |
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| Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 5/20/2006 11:21:33 PM | .
You didn't say anything of YOUR thoughts, but I see your posts about women 'friends' on here all the time.....yet you don't say anything in our defense ...would you say that is an 'honest' feeling from you, too?
You are correct, DC. With good reason, too.
First, why should I say something in defense of the gals I know when the topic is guys, not women? Besides, all the women I know are quite adept at speaking for themselves.
As for my personal life, I’ve often been criticized for being too aloof with many of the women around me. That is, as a couple good (women) friends like to chide, the only way I would realize that a woman (who is not a love interest to me) is flirting with me is if they smack me upside the head and yell “pay attention!” first. And, there might be some truth to that.
But, you have to understand that I had a physical problem for many years and did not wish to be bothered with things like dating for any reason. Therefore, I developed a mindset that precluded all advances from the distaff set. Period. No exceptions. That’s the way it was. Instead, I was always polite and friendly with all men and women and so act the same with everyone -- no matter what their age, size, shape, or station in life may be.
Now that the problem has ended, I still usually shun any specific attention from women. Probably just habit, I guess. Although, I am now perfectly willing to let one, and only one, into my life.
Another thing is that most of my women friends are married and I am also friends with their husbands. So, again, no interaction of the interesting kind.
That’s not to say that I am not available to touch, hug and even hold them when any of them require consoling. That’s different. It’s just that I do not see them as a love interest (even temporary) for me.
The difference is that I’m strange, and know that. I know a lot of guys, just not any who feel as I do. Most of the guys I know will keep their hands to themselves cause they are married. But, that’s not what they are thinking sometimes. LOL
Point is, in this matter, my thoughts don’t count.
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| Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 5/20/2006 11:27:10 PM |
You didn't say anything of YOUR thoughts, but I see your posts about women 'friends' on here all the time.....yet you don't say anything in our defense ...would you say that is an 'honest' feeling from you, too? If so, I'm surprised!!!
Read his post again, the part about" honest response from most if not all guys"
why would his Honest response be any different from the "honest response from most if not all guys" however i will not make the presumption that he agrees or disagrees.
Why do women have such a problem understanding this?
Ok why would a man want an attractive female for a friend?
1. lets see, so he can be constantly reminded that he wasnt good enough to be her boyfriend... no thanks
2. Maybe its because they think alike and have so much in common.....as we know this is not the case unless the man is gay
3. maybe he isnt attracted to her, and he actually is around because she is such a sweet person....maybe in Disney
its difficult for men to relate to women , they are very different creatures...it is however very easy for a man to relate toother men, hence their male friends, face it men and women dont have a lot in common, except needing the other to produce and raise the next batch of human beings...its hard enough to deal with a woman you are in a sexual relationship with
So if a guy is being friends with an attractive woman , he wants sex...he will hang on for years....he still wants it.....the whole thing is up to the woman , if she offers he will accept...if she doesnt , he keeps hoping that by fixing her car, helping her move into her new boyfriends house.listening to her ****....etc,etc, that one day logic will make her realize him for the great guy he is | |
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| Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 5/20/2006 11:51:33 PM | othala - a budding dr. phil lol -
Go ahead and insult me - your post was rude and did make it seem that women are stupid - and that all men are sex craved maniacs that cannot be in the same room with a woman without jumping her...
and the quote again about ugly women not having male friends because males don't want to fk ugly women is sick...
You are funny - and sad at the same time.
I feel real sorry for guys who think with their d*cks and not their heads or their hearts. You will go in and out of useless relationships for the rest of your lives.
Again - its all about respect - and you don't have any. Don't try to argue - we can all see your post - especially about the ugly woman part.
And I am not going to get into some childish fight with you about who has more male friends than who (btw aquaintances don't count).
And a guy is not going to stay friends with a woman for years if she is attractive if all he wants is sex from her. I am sorry - but most people are not that desperate. And usually smart women can see through that. And if the guy is doing things for her - like moving her into her boyfriends house just so that eventually he can fk her - that guy is pathetic and sad. Its not all about sex - get a life.
Many women on here have stated they have respectful relationships with guys - for years - some men has stated that as well. Its not all a Jerry springer world! | |
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| Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 5/21/2006 5:09:46 AM |
its difficult for men to relate to women , they are very different creatures...it is however very easy for a man to relate toother men, hence their male friends, face it men and women dont have a lot in common, except needing the other to produce and raise the next batch of human beings
The above, and this whole discussion, is rather bizarre for me, since my own experience is so totally different. That humans in general are difficult to relate to, are very different creatures from me, and don't have a lot in common with me, that's frequently true, but it applies to both men and women. My friendships, to the degree I have them, are with both men and women, with no real distinction. And having a friendship/relationship/involvement without sex is the obvious, natural thing for me; having one WITH sex, on the other hand, is alien to me. | |
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| Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 5/21/2006 9:59:15 AM | Oh wow.....I truly feel sorry for some of you people who only have friends of your own sex....and feel that there have to be ulterior motives otherwise. I also feel bad for you GUYS for whom female friends are only a means of hoping for more......
As I said before, I have male friends....some who have been friends for YEARS....some of whom were single at the time our friendship began, are now happily married and are STILL my friends....and I've even met their wives...
One male friend is single and lives fairly close...we have never been intimate...have hugged, but never even kissed....knew him from Ohio...ex boyfriend of my sis...if there were thoughts of that type, don't you think he would've made it known by NOW????? Good grief! Neither of us have been in a relationship in over 3 years....about 2 1/2 yrs ago, my dog was hit by a car, and the vet said it would take $3,000 to 'fix' her...this friend offered to loan me $1,000 without me even asking. (No, I didn't take it). Where does the wish for sex come in?
I have a male friend in Ohio, where I'm moving...he got married...yet we are still friends...his wife does the letter writing now, and I can't wait to meet her....where does the sex come in?
Another male friend moved to W. Va, but we kept up the friendship...he got married when he went home...when I'm in OH to visit, he comes and brings his wife, so I met her more than once, and will see them and their son more once I move...where does the sex come in?
Another male friend moved to Kansas and got married, had a baby, called at Christmas and said he hopes we can arrange to come through that way, as we travel to OH, so we can meet his wife and baby....again...where is the sex?
I haven't had sex in a long time, but you people make it sound like I should be able to get sex 'at every port' so to speak...GET REAL!
Oh, hell, maybe I'm just 'hideously ugly, as Othala suggested.
And Dbndon, I wasn't asking about the girls...I was asking if YOU only had these women as friends because you REALLY wanted sex, as is being suggested in this thread.....I think not, but you misunderstood the question, I guess...or were you avoiding it?
~DC~ | |
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| Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 5/21/2006 4:47:31 PM | | Yes, they can. I have a best friend of 10yrs., we are totally platonic, decided we didn't want to go there. He makes a better friend than he would a lover, I think. | |
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