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| Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 3/24/2007 4:44:48 PM | | Yes they can...however, it seems that the question is being turned into ...should your SO go out with the opposite sex while in a comitted relationship with you? My answer is NO. Maybe I am OLD FASHION, but that is how I am. Why would someone want to go out with someone else if they have someone? Am I missing something here? If everyone is "JUST FRIENDS"..then what difference does it make...she goes out...he goes out...if you are in a comitted relationship, that is different. | |
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| Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 3/24/2007 5:43:04 PM | | it is possible....but when you're in a serious relationship then it should be the two of you hanging out with them. I can't speak for everyone, but I wouldn't want to hang out with my males friends when I know the person I really want to be with isn't there. | |
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| Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 3/24/2007 9:23:39 PM | | Yes men and women can be friends without having sex. Most of my friends are males and I have not had sex with any of them. I think being friends with the other gender gives you a little insight into how they think. Plus there are some things that I can do with my guy friends that I can't with my girlfriends. | |
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| Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 3/24/2007 9:54:03 PM | | Men and women can easily be friends without sex. Im friends with plenty of woman and I dont expect sex from them. In fact, Im better friends with them than I am with my guy friends. I can trust their judgement more. They are also better at giving advice in my opinion. | |
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| Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 3/24/2007 11:07:26 PM | Oh yes... I'm a testament to that for sure. I've had plenty of straight guys as friends in my life and continue to. I find it really easy to communicate with guys for the most part. Having said that my best girl friends are about people and not about looks, they're not women I'd ever feel uncomfortable bringing a boyfriend around to etc.
The only time when it's an issue is if one person has feelings for the other that are stronger and can't 'live' with the fact that the other doesn't want more. I was in that type of boy/girl friends situation too once. Initially I wanted to date him... I was sooooo attracted to him in many ways, but due to stuff that had just happened in his life with a previous relationship he wasn't going anywhere near that. We did become roommates cause we hung out ALL the time together. It did take awhile for me to get over those feelings of wanting more. But truthfully after awhile, our relationship was more brother/sister than anything... to go outside of that would have ruined everything. We lived together for 6 years (4 with his daughter). I found this guy his wife! They moved away and we're no longer friends anymore but that's a whole other story lol. Point being we lived together for years and never ONCE had sex.
My question is... is it possible when you've have the most amazing relationship of your life and it broke up no reason to do with the two people but because of timing and other factors out of one's control... can you step backwards to being just friends with them? They were your soulmate once and want to be friends still... could you? Could you put boundaries where there never were any before if you saw each other in person?
I ask because my ex of awhile ago and I are still friends but there's a whole lot of miles and an ocean between us. We never had face to face closure. We're still friends as neither of us want the other to be completely gone from our lives after all we brought to it, but we'll discuss eveything almost but with boundaries on certain things... like relationships we're each having or if the tendancy to go down memory lane on either of our parts comes up we don't discuss that too long either. I've found we have OK communications online but nothing like it used to be of course... but I think it's nice to be in touch still.
But I suppose I wonder if someone can be OK with that type of stepping back. Usually it's friends first, then a relationship. Now it's relationship first and friends later. I don't know how either of us would react if we ever saw the other in person again but the likelihood is VERY improbable. That's OK with me because I've let go comletely of the notion of him and I and am very ready to meet a guy that I can have that special something with. I don't miss HIM ... I miss the dynamic.
I certainly know that I want to meet friends first here and see what happens. Looking for that spark, that 'thing' to be there I think can only develop over the course of time and I do believe that there's someone else out there that I'll have that with again one day. If I end up meeting some guys in person that I could only be friends with, I would in a heartbeat. Guys can be great company and a great sounding board with a different perspective on life and I like to keep open to that possiblity too! | |
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| Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 3/25/2007 12:33:44 AM | Yes, women and men can be friends without sex HOWEVER if your partner is going out with women without you I would question it! Now I do have a best friend who is a guy and we do go out together from time to time. There is no chance ever of it going any further! HOWEVER if I am seeing someone or even interested in anyone I tell them up front that my best friend is a guy and explain the relationship we have and that it IS strictly platonic. I am also very considerate of my partner in our relationship as is my best friend! As a FRIEND should be!!! If we go out it's with my partners knowledge but more importantly it's with my partner included if it's a serious relationship!
I'd say, you have some serious issues and you deserve better!!! EVERYONE DOES!!! | |
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| Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 3/25/2007 1:28:31 AM | My best friend of 20 years is a guy, he stood up for me at my wedding, I stood up for him at his. I think even the thought of sex would send us both into the giggles. We worked together as partners for years and the friendship continued. I've since divorced, he is still married to the same amazing woman and the friendship is still as strong as ever.
I will say that I think that these types of friendships are the exception and not the rule. | |
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| Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 3/27/2007 6:03:29 PM | | Despite all the other answers, of which none are wrong, I have to say that as a woman, I have more male friends than female friends. I'm not on the prowl for sex or trying to split up relationships. I just find that I get on better with men than with women. And I'm single, but that doesn't make me a marraige wrecker or whatever...! I just enjoy male company. I don't get judged by the clothes I wear, whether I'm wearing the latest trends or not, whether I've got the latest hircut or not... They take me as me, which is more than most women do! | |
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| Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 3/27/2007 7:36:08 PM | | Enough already. Of course they can,all animals do it. Opposite Genders make better friends and you can always leave the door happen for whatever you might please or not. It does give insight and can lead to better more developed relationships. Just be careful when out in mixed circumstances if there be anything more possible. You can do lots of fun stuff with opposite gender friends. | |
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| Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 3/27/2007 7:54:21 PM | Never had such issues create problems for me.
It's just this simple; I am friends with more men than women(almost all men).
I hold myself to pretty high ideals & passing my vagina out like an after dinner mint... well, it doesn't work for me. Everyone has thier own heiney's to account for, but that's my stand. If you like the action, have at it... somewhere else. Perhaps it's the fact that I grew up in a country that has a lack of sexual taboos around every corner.
My best friend(male) & I can curl up, watch a movie today just like we were still 6 year olds. The fact that I can have a cookout & expect at least three of my ex's to show up & have a blast... also nice.
Some people can, some people can not.
To each their own.
:) | |
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| Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 3/27/2007 7:58:06 PM | Well yes men and women can be friends without having sex I have many male friends I have never even entertained the thought of such. It al depends on maturity and past performance, if he has been known to cheat or the female for that fact then its worth questioning, if they ahve enver done anything that warrants such suspicion then take it as it is and if your just not sure check it out.
In what way did he make you feel like a fool?
No one should make anyone look like a fool, its not very pleasant and gives way to suspicion. Chances are if he was so over the top that he felt the need to make you look like fool to advert and evade responsibility then there is a good chance of something not on the level. Most whom are open and honest has no need to make someone else feel bad just due to being uncomfotable with his activites if it were on the up and up he would have been more readily explaining it to you and making you feel more at ease rather then to make you feel bad and dismissing your concerns.
I noticed you said ex-boyfriend, there is a good reason for that, I hope this helps you move past this person whom was insensitive to your needs , when all you needed was just a little reassurance, which most of us do whom have been hurt before.
keep your chin up , you deserve more and you will find it, one day.
cheers | |
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| Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 3/27/2007 8:09:05 PM | I hope so or I'm in for alot of sex!!! LOL
It is possible. Don't you have any guy friends? If not, get some. You'll find an evening out with a good friend, male or female, can be quite rewarding. It's amasing how well a friendship can develop when sex is not an issue. I think the issue you are having is trust and that is another story all together. Now, if these were people he just met on a dating site. Well that's a whole other story also! | |
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| Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 3/27/2007 8:13:52 PM | | I like your thinking"laurarxc" It's nice to see someone feels the same way I do in regards to going out and not inviting you SO along with you. Nothing says, "your special" as much as leaving them home while you go out for a good time and meet with fun exciting people. | |
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| Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 3/27/2007 8:37:45 PM | There's been lots of threads here about this topic. Lots of discussions in real time...it does come down to this. There are two camps here...two thought patterns, divergent never will agree. Which is fine, people should think and do what's right for them.
I'm of the camp, yes..have and always had mostly male friends...all platonic. And very clearly communicated so. I love these guys...like my brothers. And that's how I think of them, I do realize that at times there grows an attraction that is beyond friends. Never happened to me, personally, never felt that for any of my guy friends. And if it did happen with them...doubt that...but they never told me. If they did, I'd just be honest, and it'd be awkward to be friends with them from that point on. Honestly!
The other camp is that opposite sex friends only want to be friends to get their foot in the door to hope to get into the sack. I've heard this before and laughed about it, and read it here often enough.
Bottom line, is, a friendship is a relationship, whether same or opposite sex. And deserves the same level of respect as any other relationship.
If you can't be honest with your motives, then you aren't really deserving of an honest relationship..perhaps. And my relationships with my platonic guy friends/brothers that's what I enjoy so much with them. An honest relationship with a man where you can be emotionally and mentally close and not have the sexual aspect. | |
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| Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 3/27/2007 9:02:51 PM | | Even some marrieds don't have sex,so why get married. Hang-out as much as you like,have some fun with no worries. Yes,that is what people should do but some insist on complicating matters. All my friends be Gals,always have been,always will be,some leave doors open,some don't. Attraction just happens. Friends be honest,acquaintances it don't matter. Frienship is a relationship best appreciated for all it is. Motives be a part of being human,which is a breed of animal. Best Friends can be as close as they please,if they please. | |
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| Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 3/29/2007 8:53:57 PM | I've had a female best friend for going on 7 years now. We're very close, but at this point it's more like having a sister than anything else. We both know that we would never, ever work romantically, and there's no reason to even THINK about mucking it up with sex.
So, yes, men and women can be friends without sex. | |
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| Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 3/30/2007 4:25:23 PM | | of course they can. Most of my close friendships have been with men, and strictly platonic. This is why I do not like "friends with benefits" | |
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| Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 3/30/2007 10:26:16 PM | | I have more male friends then female,, and it's always been like that for me,, I just get alone with men alot better then I do with women.... And if you have a man" well there still should be nothing wrong with spending time with your male friends and same would go for him,,, a relationship is all about trust etc', and if there is no trust well really that is not a healthy relationship to be in.! | |
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| Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 3/30/2007 10:51:38 PM | | why does everyone use words and phrases like fishy or go reel em in on this site? there aren't really plenty of girls on here. just a bunch of dudes. compare your favorites list to any girls out there..i have bigger fish to fry so ill end here. respond if you even read this. cause that also makes me wonder | |
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| Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 3/31/2007 5:17:11 AM | | I'm with you on that one Stairwell! It's all about trust. I met someone on here and the connection was instantaneous. It took a few months for us to meet because we enjoyed our chats so much and didn't want to end the close bond we were forming in case the "spark" wasn't there! We promised each other that above all else we were friends first. Nothing would change that. I'm happy to tell you that to this day, almost two years later, I'm proud to call him one of my best friends. I think too many people put too much emphasis about "finding the love of their life" on here they pass up some good friends. After all, the folks in my age bracket have been through similar situations as myself and share a common bond. Friends are friends, plain and simple. Whether male or female, if there is a connection, nothing or no one is going to tell me who my friends can be. If you bring that person up in conversation early in a relationship, explain who they are in your life, this new friend should trust you enough to accept what you have told them. If not, then they are not worth getting to know in my opinion since trust is a make or break issue in a relationship | |
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| Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 3/31/2007 5:34:17 AM | | I have many "male friends" throughout the years.....I have "male co-workers"...I certainly don't sleep with them...I would say "YES"... I have lunch with them , shopped with them and resently traveled with one...NO SEX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I wouldn't think of it.... | |
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| Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 3/31/2007 6:40:44 AM | YEAH BOY !!!!my best friend is a chick....been that way for 8yrs...we have almost went there i will admit..cause we have an attraction for each other,but our lives werent meant to mix like,hell we even talked about it a few times but we both come to same conclusion...we be better friends....over the years ive been there watchin her kids put her through hell...lol,i could go on....but she's like my big sis,we talk all the time,tellin men and women secrets shes been there for every,heartache,and every new love in these 8 yrs.I live with my best friend she moved away and i followed i guess.but sex with her?no way...and i turned HER down twice and we BOTH were drunk enough to say what the hell?  | |
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lfrl
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Joined: 3/30/2006
Msg: 950 | |
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