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Posted: 9/4/2006 6:19:56 PM | it was bound to happen
this growing pain inside
my heart knowing, feeling
my mind reeling, lush, ripe
delicate inviting possibilities spread
as the finest on any full table
but then we had to have the talk
imagine, me, not wanting to!
for i could no longer hide or
avoid the inevitible any further
how did he know?! or didn't he?
he didn't skip a beat nor even balk
his eyes flowed with caring
words carefully chosen and whispered
we shared; we dared
a bit of this and that
not even came a spat
luxurious twas untill
daylight again crept upon us
and reality rose with the bright
honor of the sun in full glory
the past night faded
and in stumbled reality
no matter how i perceive it
no matter how much he listens
patiently caring, concerned
i cannot longer escape truth
all along for both eating and
consuming, celebrating
partaking of the fine banquet
we prepare and spread for the other
only to smack into the wall
one we cannot get over
no matter even if we
hold hands joined together
and open hearts we face
selfishness
either choice of three to make
either way i must decide
when here so much is at stake
each one only makes me cry
death, birth, killing, life
multitudes of ideals either way
inviting tempatation led astray
either and any and all ways only
purely selfishness; mine
absolving him from any responsibility
for fully this IS mine
and yes, evolved but hurting
he stands by me, stated sincerely
no matter what i decide
it just makes thus more lonely
hardship aside either way
nothing more to cleanse shared sins
of past night's and day's ways
dare i chance it
dare to allow dreams
to become reality
either way
surely there'll be
hell to pay
i owe no explanation
this much understood,
respected even
and stood by
words stated and felt strongly
and good as earth's stones
fear resides in all of us
even those we stow away
what really matters
is deciphering day to day
coming unloose
or rather undone
learning then knowing
i'm not the only one
becoming a fidget monster
barely able to sit
wtf is that pain about
damn making me shift
those, them, she, him, they
seemed gleeful, even cheery
i could hardly believe my ears
like a child crying through eyes bleary
all i could do but sit there teary
pondering the future vast
incredulous at the news
wondering how it could be
hopeful at least and ironic at best
now i barely seem able to rest
damn it, just another test
temptation taking flight
thoughts whirling left and right
what to do, what to do
then comes a morning
after just last night
all seems settled for me and you
fate herself walked in, sat down
then flew up and all around
i felt her, and know you did too
her grace knew best
and fairly just what to do
perhaps she realised
this was just for once
much bigger than i
even at my strongest?
i tell him it's ok; i say it'll be fine;
he says it will, you are strong!
to each other we lie
but for once i don't mind
hoping he won't worry anymore
he has enough in and on his mind
and afterall it's just a teeny tiny lie
it won't be fine, it cannot
even begin to ease hearts nor minds
but i will go on strongly, bravely anyway
and i can give him this easily
this biggest possible gift
ever grateful he is him
and i am me
and we were once us
just for today i will forget
this pain as i must endure it
this much is clear
no more to ahead fear
today i pretend it's tomorrow
while dusting off yesterday
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Posted: 9/5/2006 12:18:56 AM | yawning yet cannot find rythym of sleep
it evades me and my soul yearns and
plays it's all too familiar tricks on me
and how could anyone, thinking of sheep?
they'd appear to me in shades of purple
green and blue, comical and distorted
now thinking of photoshop editing
well, minus the baa baa ing hoopla
that in turn brings to mind damn it
that digi cam and even razorcam phone
booklets too intricate for the novice that is me
for my talents lie elsewhere
hardly intangible but certainly
not either of mind technological
now dammit quantum theory phsysics
playing tricks within my mind's attention
now again places of long ago yesterdays
haunting my wakefulness and coming to mind
hawaii though she beckons me still
the simplicity of this then young woman
in fresh new naive love grew into
the first beginnings of maturity
for it was in this beautyland
i really began to learn, live and truth know
and it was here too my dearest sibling's passing
became unbelievable news i learned over the phone
and screamed for the first time in my life
NO at my dear mother and collapsed
sliding back against the wall till my ass hit the floor
crying silent primal tears
after she hung up on me
because she could not bear to hear
her youngest daughter's crying
for that was the beginning of
her own life with no more only son
and only his memories and love
to sustain us, and on friends we did lean
thankfully i was in nature,
and she was kind, full of life and so green
a few years passed and i found myself then
living in sunny spain right on the beach
sand, playful waves and cood earthy tile
beneath my bare feet
5 floors were ours in that home with a vew
3 balconies too, and 1 set of french doors
which he once walked right through
yes he was unhurt, amazing but true
so now pretty pictures comes to mind
friends and neighbors back then
parties and functions sun fun
vino and ahh the food
ventas and wineries
antique shops like never seen prior
real country drives in europa
nary even once a flat tire
frolicking nuns on the beach
in the sun and breeze whirled
in far away spain as they seemed
synchronised perfectly enmeshed
with my 80s synth cd via earbuds
via madrid to rainy heathrow
london and her bustle of people
museums, river thames
art and architecture brought tears
unashamedly down my face
for you see i'm a romantic
full of passion not haste
ahh the quaint pubs
toy shops and bookstores galore
it was like heaven again
the food wasn't bad either but good
unlike as prior perceptions
dictacted it should
perhaps it was really the
stout; mellow and smooth
thick chocolate earthy froth?
manila, deplaning in misty rain
the jungle outskirts dangerous
closed to international traffic
but our plane was brought in and
we drove through a checkpoint
an american lost his life at
just the day prior, not for me
to know till ensconsed in
the taxi jeep for true destination
3 hours away for a short stay
more humidity than i ever known
truth be known it was a lovefest
for my then military spouse and i
rejoined after separation caused by
three month old beginning of desert storm
we loved and clung to each other
and he came home three months later
our marriage anew and grateful
for comforts of being lovers still strong
those three years were long
torturuos and i learned to see
beyond my own heart, mind and eyes
the world was smaller somehow
and not so safe anymore
much more yet inside but i need a respite
i'll now blow out this candle wearily within
and settle to sleep till morning's first light
until a day new and fresh prompts
me to begin again anew | |
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Posted: 9/5/2006 12:48:29 PM |
frolicking nuns on the beach
Geez, softy, are you trying to give me a woody?
Love the free-flowing openness here. Some luminous images. | |
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Posted: 9/5/2006 3:49:26 PM | rory, got wood?
musta been the thought of those stiff starched black uniformish type clothes made with the tiniest of perfect stitches that aroused you...
thanks for your kind words!
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Posted: 9/9/2006 11:11:28 AM | what to do, what to do
sometimes we hastily decide
make up our minds
before it's too late
to run out of proper time
try to undo nature or even fate
or something mistaken
as something else entirely
it's best to quietly selfishly
be still and do nothing but
contemplate future openly
today rippled waters beckon
the sun is more than warm
it is completely forgiving
nurturing, life giving
promise of each new day
reminding me the true realization
so you see; i'm just all me
yet haven't forgotten my way
not enough to hope you see
nor even communicate deeply
one must sweat and one must toil
take and responsibilty unfolding
work hard at not being foiled
keep safe the distance
yet remaining open
decide what's best
remain full and unbroken
a time for celebration
and calming quietness of mind
knowing the tiniest seed inside
is indeed one of hope
the world is indeed
outwardly fragmented
but deep in my me
is the wonder and magic
of what may yet come to be
i hold strongly to faith and hope
flowering, and blooming
pointed out, spoken, noticed
fulfillment, completion
promise of each new day
what will be, will be
not for me to change or undo
no whisking away
this beauty unfurls
and holds me captivated
far more strongly than
i could have ever imagined
please feel free to post and share here along with me | |
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Posted: 9/13/2006 3:34:44 AM | beyond the door
and now thankfully beyond another's door
his pants lay in a heap upon the wooden floor
once upon a time ago he couldn't wait to caress my face
and i couldn't wait to stroke and feel him as well
both once openly professing desires for singular future
full of promises, professions of wanting, needing
for him to leave me wanting much more than sex
he claimed he wanted and needed more from me
and i naively believed that game he played
so convincingly and deeply as he claimed
after time i freely gave, and yes, partook of, too it's true
he said he was more than sure ready and oh so willing
we waited and anticipated, we did what lovers do
just a pretender of the most convincing rank
here today now i'm free to be blunt and frank
but the soul deep inside was lost you see
despite intense gazes and sweetest of kisses
those vast intentions false, and for so long before me
as a vampire feeds upon others souls
desperately partaking, fulfilling only selfish needs
so adept, i was convinced, i was mesmerized
the master of deception held truths otherwise
no longer this day deserving of my intentions
my own responsibility of realization and acceptance
has set me free and open to contemplation
we owe one another whatsoever no explanation
for i was open to self actualization
no longer capable of holding even my contempt
while firstly i admit i was openly enraged
yes of course for self but all the others too
past present and future to fall into that trap
as prey to the predator; just within his nature
once i stood in judgement before noticing
he is not, cannot, will not choose to evolve
holds not growth nor thought to feel or transpire
he only knows only to hungrily feed and breed desire
unsatiable hungers, pretense of life never fulfilled
and while he is only what he chooses to be
ever grateful as brightest power of truth
yes acceptance too shone brightly within and to myself
allowing finally grace and inner balance to return
the choices of mine own resposibility returned
and while my delicate garments aren't next to his anymore
a smile now plays in my mind and on my lips, knowing yet
his pants lay in a heap upon another wooden floor
all is good and just as it should be, for you see
while today nor this night; no longer of nor from me
the parasite continues as he must~ to feed | |
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Posted: 9/13/2006 3:35:47 AM | simple ode to a jackass
me, i'm not a casual woman
surely if you were sincere
you'd have at least gleaned
i say what i feel
and i say what i think
alas not yet to you clear
perhaps time for you near
to dry out from your drink
i care not in the least for
your impromptu suggestions
or persistant calls unanswered
please read here now and know
see, not now nor will i ever
be interested in even imagining
you and i ever in any way together
call me shallow if you must
you won't give up but now you must
this saturday night past
yes a medical emergency
thankfully past now and healing
at very least kept us from meeting
yes i've felt ill since then
but you ignore any heeding
and you simply refuse to hear
as what i say you just ignore
clearly you're not in the least
what i'm wanting or needing
it's all lost on your ears
but i owe you nothing
do you not clearly see?
we have never, no not ever
you and i gone out together
an exchange of cell numbers
is all we ever shared
chalk it up a simple mistake
get on with your life
i demand and implore you
before in my hands i'll take
this opportunity to clarify
what's at hand and at stake
not even asking nor pleading
no more calls at two
to me from you
in fact none whatsoever
further contact from you
no jokes or smiles
no sharing of selves
certainly not intimacy
or frienship even
nor will it ever be
as you've surely sealed your fate
calling me just now a bit past two
this morning is this early or late
thanks to you i'm now wide awake
as i lie here, needing my rest
you must be daft, haven't a clue
with my retorts on the phone
demanding you leave me alone
or i can easily make that happen
if you persist blindly
make no mistake as it's more than clear
perhaps go drink some more beer
for i've decidedly dismissed you | |
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Posted: 9/13/2006 5:17:35 AM |  To the BOTH OF YOU....... Very, very rewarding. My God, I have been blessed this morning in my readings here.
very, uplifting & might i add, Spiritual. My hat is off to you.
 SpiriT  | |
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Posted: 9/13/2006 6:48:31 AM | Spirit~
i have far to go here; thank you so much for your kind words! if you have more time next time, add some lines of your own, this was from the beginning, meant to be a sharing thread, but too few people want to leave their words here, in a place for us novices...
i guess they are too refined; but all are more than welcome here. (except the dude that called me just after two this am!)
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Posted: 9/14/2006 8:06:05 PM | it wasn't me I swear soft E
well you asked for it sooooo
in a desperate state of mind
a leaky boat is in need of repair
a rainbow clad beauty stands majestic
seeking a magic touch
on an island surrounded by a sea of doubt
is a man child in need of a hope
he's alone on these pebbled shores
because he's fallen for her and he can't get up
can't rise above it
in the twisted covering of sleep
the boy dreams his wistful thoughts
he imagines a future of wealth
accompanied by a trophy on his arm
the stars guide his chosen path
it is not the destiny he has come to covet
he awoke at the ease of loss
he's fallen for her and he can't get up
can't rise above it
she took him so high he could hear angels
they sang to him lullabies
he could not resist them
they said to him ,they'd let him in
but he cried "you lie you could never allow someone like me
inside
cause I've fallen for her and I can't get up
can't rise above it
it's a tangled web we weave
as the vessel sinks like a hope
a wealth of beauty beheld in kind
as the touch turns tragic on the arm
the path wanders out of reach
and destiny collides with recall
a bottled message is in need of release
it says hes fallen for her and he can't get up
can't rise above it all
she took him so high
he could see angels
they sang to him a welcome
he could not believe them
they promised a kingdom
but he cried these are all lies
you could never let someone like me
inside
cause I've fallen for her and I can't get up
I can't rise that high above this fall | |
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Posted: 9/15/2006 8:20:51 PM | all you have to do is stop asking y'know
and now for something completely different
December twenty third ,nineteen hundred seventy three
on the south side of St Louis Missouri U.S.A
A street light revealed the lengthening darkness
of a dead ends back alley
A blind man and beggar break bread together
to share in life's fortunes
each has been dealt the ills of humanity
yet suffer no disgruntlement nor grief
In the companionship of compassion
nestled in the litter strewn back alley
of lost hopes they appear to....shine
Many years from now in the receiving
room of an antiseptic hall of healing
a blessed couple rejoice in the birth
of a new blood member to their tribe
with wondrous eyes they survey
the miracle before them
The Healer equally proud of his part
at the conception in this time of barren wombs
observe the recipients and reflects they.....shine
In a time and place out of mind
a Baron festooned by a mistress
lounges in relative obscurity
while dining on honeydew and sharp cheese
beholding wealth's trappings
they gaze upon their fiefdom
with envious eyes for the
simple lives of the unfettered
By the thickening glow of contentment
from the teeming hovels of the peasants
the Baron declares on their rapture they.....shine
In the right here and now
without ever even trying
you.....shine | |
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Posted: 9/16/2006 3:24:36 AM | wow simple, thank you so much for your contributions here; you...rock!
ometimes our lives seem to wax and to wane
surely as our beloved luminescent moon drives the tides
strap on your seat belt if you must for at first
this may seem the craziest of any and all rides
even the simple and leakiest of boats
with proper work, care and love
may become the sturdiest of vessels
with true god course, chartered on hope
as plushest of velvets and flannels
most comfortably adorn and make my bed
remembering promises of warmth and feeling alive
myself singularly tossing and turning
even in sleep and within my own body and mind
just before sunlight again awakens me
magical chimes signalling it's already past time
sleepily rousing, lazily lathering in the shower
then stepping out and into the dawn of my day
to make my new way and find my fresh grind
i'd rather be back abed with us sleepily entwined
if perchance both have fallen though
not one any more deeper than the other
both may then freely begin to further grow
respecting truth and sharing laughing daring
inhaling deeply the scent of the other
singularly two lives dance and fold into one
hope may falter yet residing within two never dies
remembering cold hearts chased back to yesterdays
yes for him she is loyal, casting out all doubts
but it's just in their simplest ways unspoken
bathing in darkness and of anointing with oils
caring for each other and partaking jointly spoils
it might begin with tender smile or a shared joke
take on strength doubled brilliantly hot forged steel
looking together forward in cleansing warm water
daring to hold tightly to dreams yet even awake
ever casting aside loneliest fears and dread
sing a silly song if it brings a smile to lips
selfish even for then it's easiest to steal a kiss
whilst salacious dreams may be a turn on indeed
as may well rekindle simplest touch born of needs
irony, coincidence, happenstance or circumstance
choices for two remain plentiful and abundant
ignore those false who seem trite or redundant
remember to stay on course, best well charted
veer not off the virtue soul integrity's path
never set yourself up with pain and dishonesty
never allowing hope to leave your mind's grasp
allow the child deep inside to come out to play
but take time to laugh and trust in others
in maturity learned or thoughts integrated too
i think angels sometimes pause to rest
dare i admit nature earth herself may bless
by reason of opulence and proclivities
seemingly knowing our every very need
even before we dare whisper them freely
the safest intended place for mere mortals
to choose to rest and lay our weary heads
is ever upon a perfect angel's breast
comfort or solace are offered those there
with open heart and arms widely outstretched
magnificent strong yet softest of wings enveloping you
keeping those they choose to safely protect
i try just for today to lay aside
racing heart and thoughts
understanding humans must simply strive
somewhere within for hunger of knowledge
it is in that place they may find that even
themselves; humans can grow wings
one by one or in multitudes
daring will come at last to a place
to float and rise as the phoenix
once again to highest depths soar | |
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Posted: 9/16/2006 3:56:39 AM | Hi, I discovered several months ago due to life's struggles and tribulations that I have a love for poetry. I also enjoy writing poetry very much for which I have received awards for and in the wee hours of this morn I came across this poem while I was reading poetry on a site that I enjoy going to. I want to share this poem with all the women on POF. May you be a woman scorned, defeated, still searching or have found your friend, lover or partner. Below is the poem, hope you enjoy it as much as I do.
Just Because
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
JUST BECAUSE
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Just because no one has been fortunate enough to realize what a gold mine you are,
doesn't mean you shine any less.
Just because no one has been smart enough to figure out that you can't be topped,
doesn't stop you from being the best.
Just because no one has come along to share your life,
doesn't mean that day isn't coming.
Just because no one has made this race worth while,
doesn't give you permission to stop running.
Just because no one has realized how much of a woman you are,
doesn't mean they can affect your femininity.
Just because no one has come to take the loneliness away,
doesn't mean you have to settle for a lower quality.
Just because no one has shown up who can love you on your level,
doesn't mean you have to sink to theirs.
Just because you deserve the very best there is,
doesn't mean that life is always fair.
Just because God is still preparing your king,
doesn't mean that you're not already a queen.
Just because your situation doesn't seem to be progressing right now,
doesn't mean you need to change a thing.
Keep shining,
Keep running,
Keep hoping,
Keep praying,
Keep being exactly what you are already ...
COMPLETE!
~~ Author Unknown ~~ | |
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Posted: 9/16/2006 10:45:13 AM | firefox, thank you for sharing a thoughtful poem that corresponds with the content here.
please if you like, feel free to share an original write, it needn't have won any awards, for this is the novice's thread, any and all are welcome here.
including kat and cabin who long ago were so nice as to respond and yet went unacknowledged, for this i do apologise especially as they both from the beginning have been so thoughtful kind and sweet!
i'm grateful to have resurrected this mine own from last year and read words of others gracing with their presence and thusly this place isn't so lonely anymore with only myself fumbling about with my words echoing back in the emptiness back at me. no matter our position or circumstance...
they, she, he, we... all shine on these few pages early in conception and inception! | |
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Posted: 9/16/2006 12:40:46 PM | Novices...seems like the right place to post this. I wrote this the other day after being inspired by a letter from someone... If nothing else it helps expand the mind.
SEASONS...
Going to be a long cold winter....the snow so deep.
The crust of ice crunching at my feet.
With thoughts of warmth, and laughter...filling the
empty space.The only sound heard... the breathing as I
walk a steady pace.
Over the field and to the edge of the trees, the lone
figure wonders. To the quiet place to sit...he
ponders.
Moments of time both past and future.... seem cold and
distance...yet... Knowledge of the one not met....
Going to be a long cold winter.....The fire ever
burning.
The closeness of a soul .... to help with the urning?
The snow will go in time....and bring new life and
living.
All the feeling of love free for the giving.
And with sky so blue . and roses so sweet, and the
feelings of truth like wonder we meet.
The grass will spring and new babes will birth.
The new friends will fill heart with mirth.
Going to be a long cold winter? Not if life's Worth
living......
Rad | |
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Posted: 9/16/2006 12:47:54 PM | Thank you..Soft and thank you for such a warm welcome . Yes, I may have received recognition for my work but I'm still a starving poet..... However, I take great pleasure in knowing that one of my poems has done well as to that it has been published for all to read. Which is more gratifying than any monetary value. Also may I commend you and Simple on such deep, passionate verses of thought and feeling.....hugs to the both of you....
This is my bit and for now it's a little bit.....
...to even the score. For which are we to ponder away the truth of things
that come by our way
The truth be knowest only to them | |
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Posted: 9/16/2006 1:18:40 PM | a new start, thank you for sharing and weaving into this thread, know you're welcome here anytime. evoking visions true is a talent surely you have, more than simply a nice write you left...
firefox, it's great you've been published and find such grace in writing thoughtfully.
"The truth be knowest only to them" is spot on, for truth means different things to all of us shaped by our experiences, and isn't that in itself a beautiful thing to consider? i'm only beginning to in a most elementary way cast out some snippets and too long winded thoughts of my past, present and future kindlings. thank you for your kindest of words; but mine is just a way to try to learn to begin self expression and relief of words coming outward from within.
any good, bad or ugly all within our minds and hearts welcomed here. with differences and likeness here please fell free to cast and share! thank you all the honor of posting your own inner workings of mind heart and soul, whether deep or short, inspiring or purging; whatever the content here unfurling...
i'm trying to keep some of mine concentrated within this thread, so if i seem divergent well yes likely that's true. ;)
here we all share the cocoons of our minds
the thrones or gutters of our own crafting
loving to wordsmith and setting of stage
preparing our simple or lush banquets
going about habits and ways of our days
hoping, reading and gazing at others
sometimes feeling contempt or sincerity
from various community sisters and brothers
not all here seek but a lover
everwhere we look and can easily see
some are content in their lives
but not within their own minds
this common bond to post inner thoughts
some bestowing praise and being kind
others cleverly peeling skin as in rinds
goats and sheep leap and jump about
they scour rocky crags without second thought
not many i've seen worry before jumping
they dare and just try rarely do they drop
we're all together taking the good bad and ugly
here all conjoin inept and adept
the fairest sailing along with the stubbily gristle
life's just like that, we reap that we sow
some easily do their thing as they whistle
while others seek to pour out and bestow
while upwardly paddling, bent to just stay afloat
if you choose be like the sheep and goats
so be it i'll encourage you here and now
if you do dare to take the plunge or jump
no one can push you off that ledge you stay upon but
you might just grow wings and soar through the air
all for yourself and inner wicked best pleasure
and yet another...
you don't even know yourself at all
destined to romance and then fall
never able to uphold nor follow through
any proclamations your mouth spewed
deception and lies causing such drama
too deftly you so very well learned
most hidden and evil traits of your mama
religious zealot outwardly you say was she
but inner demons lived consuming visciously
shocking to me, you repeatedly claimed
you just never won't and don't believe
nor share of or in hope anymore
i should have listened carefully, more
really taken your heed and believed
and walked intently backwards out your door
even if i watched carefully your face
twisted now without trace of grace
your eyes were void of anything but pain
on your own to dance for cleansing rain
and hunt for another to play tricks on instead
taking up space in her heart, head and bed
poor little lambs destined for slaughter
believing at first a golden man full of praise
they've luckily found within you
unaware of sure fate soon to knocking
a few months more time then
unable to uphold your own integrity
and will return to your cruel hardened ways
but instead i failed only myself
thinking love conquers obstacles
naively and blinded by feelings
letting go of all the ignored red flags
waving straight and blowing into my face
directly then and not much time
it took not long for me to realise
simply you were never mine
while i was yours completely
i knew not then how inticately
deceit lived within your life and soul
and danced upon your very heart
i paid for other's crimes and your karma
and expensive though they were
destiny in form of salvation true
stepped in forced her hand
and just as quickly we were through
though now i'm greatly relieved
at the turning twisting of events
gaining my self respect back
and leaving you to your whims
was indeed my best and truest gift
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Posted: 9/16/2006 2:03:10 PM | Why can't I let you go
I want to so badly
You are in my blood
You're in my soul
I tremble with anxiety at the thought of you
Oh! what have you done is so unrepairable
It's ruining my life, it's breaking me down
I want you out of head and my heart
I don't know how to make us part.
I weep the memory of you
The today's and tomorrows are now gone
You were my rock, my salvation
You didn't feel the same
I was just a pawn in your game
Something in me died that when
you denounced me to her
All the lies you said
left me empty and dead
For what I wonder
for her!
What is she that I couldn't be
Oh! my kids you said
Did I ask you to be their dad
No I didn't, they have a father
A father you can never be
because of your little
secret you see | |
|
| a place for us novices...
Posted: 9/16/2006 6:58:04 PM | alors
plusse la change ,plusse set la mémé chose
alright now lets get personnel
lets talk about your new home
yeah those wall to wall parapets
and little ornamental gnomes
I'm very pleased to be here
however you did do done it
impressive to quote a must
we two waited far too to long
senseless to make appearances
here where its made up its mind
to experience delightful deliverance
ah yes the truth ,back to my truth
it figures ,it splinters and it counts
days ,minutes ,seconds and dreams
of you ,of me of whatever we wish it could be
This was all before I was dragged by willing body
past ballroom distractions to an unmade lonely bed
dismissing all distractions with objections and lowered head
playing completely unconscious charm foiling this ruse
denying my one and only is turning my eyes to you
having played these cards correctly in that town of dealers dung
unloading a life's obsessions leaving both in that dieing town
in the deepest of dark holes burying two pasts inside
earning our wings of flight allowing destiny a free hand to ride
and we hold trembling bodies in the warmth of a wedding bed
tongue tied in consummation blowing our weary heads
we're timid and listen intently to lips that overrule
whispering finds of ones and onlys as all eyes turn to you
nes pas ? | |
|
| a place for us novices...
Posted: 9/17/2006 1:28:22 PM | obscene, intoxicating, deciphering
enigmas and puzzles dance upon my heart
yes i am obsessed, with words and
finding their true meaning
my love of words
whispered
spoken
written
declared, fiercly
shared
debated even sometimes, albeit calmly
leaves my inner options many
free and open to mind yuck myself even
if thats what i choose for me
isn't that snice?
yes i meant snice...
words and ideas within them
considering, pondering
musing aloud, am i a muse?
this love of mine of words began
when i was very young
environmentally imprinted upon my soul
within my very me that's me
parents immigrant refugees
torn from their homes and countries of war
and brought their lives with hope
and not much else
to what once represented
the land of the free
and the home of the brave
in my family home
english only was spoken to us children
and their native tongues to each other
while this means i lost my heritage
their command of language grew
to their somewhat unfair advantage
a break from natural culture
and tradition passed per se
we dared never speak of it
even to this day, just yet
another secret to be hidden away
it left me with too many questions
unanswered and curious too
but also a love of learning
within me deeply grew
my parents both are gone now
and family i shunned by choice
as what is real and good to me
differs from their reality
so i forge ahead singularly
within my own beliefs
about what family means,
is and ought to be
communique important to me
i take things often too literally
as i seek for balance
inside i know it's best
to give credence due
to basic principles
growth, play, honestly
integrity to self and others
respect and forgiveness
trying my best to relax
appreciate the sun on my face
the soft winds caressing me
just be the hedonistic gypsy
passionate that i am
and grateful to be
without doubts or regrets
for life cannot be undone
best to look to the future
and be grateful again for the sun
to find a partner perfect for me
patience and understanding required
as i'd strive to be, with him
creating and carving out our own
ideas of a perfect world for ourselves
a gift to each other most grand
to please ourselves and one another
it's just my silly little fantasy
but hope has never left my heart
and yes, dreams more than comfort me
my heart beats faster in anticipation
blood courses through me faster now
as i await my erato's face in my hands
and we begin our journey
whatever to unfold
to begin with a delicate kiss
le fait, volonté il pas mon erato?! | |
|
| harvesting of seeds newly planted
Posted: 9/17/2006 3:34:32 PM | jumping to gather; preparing for the harvest of these young autumnal ways...
putting action
where your mouth is;
daring fate to take flight;
checkmate
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
imagine a child, me
full of innocence and grace
despite happenings
in my own home
no way can i replace reality
so i continue on this journey
back then wickedly huge brown eyes
and platinum silky hair adorned
what once was then this face
the subject has been posed before
yes its true it has
and i've rushed willingly
over many seas
bohemian little gypsy child
of passion, even then
of music this time i'm remembering
and whirling to it wildly
before floor to ceiling mirrors
wall to wall you see
this small one danced excitedly
momentum and time carried
the her that now is me
holding it close in memory
deep inside this heart
imagine the suprise gift
from a mother to a daughter
carefully tucked inside a box
swathed in tissue safely
saved from the days long ago
of dolls paints and her trike
the music prompting the dance
passionate in another language
the music still sits safely
in that box from long ago
awaiting new life
back then oh so content
to whirl and twirl and sway
watching carefully her reflection
dancing away the day
spinning and raising of arms
arcing, curling above her head
posing for her own self
grasping those small hands
one within another
as then she twirled
and forgot fears of that time
little bits and snippets
still return strongly in her mind
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
yes, i have a floss fetish.
and a foot feetish too.
and no they aren't
in anyway connected...
except leaving that
to your imagination, erato
exactly what this woman
can do with floss, besides its intended use
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
to rejoice in your melancholy
you dear, or i; melancholy?!
either to rejoice in one another's
hard to even imagine, now eh...
no more, for now, for today we have each other
or do we yet even should we make it so?
i promise herein truth always clear,
and to never force any attempt to wind
your heart 'round anything else
only if you freely choose, perhaps mine
thinking now of my erato
after gently hanging up the phone
still envisioning various scenarios
and of the all things left yet unseen
as this soft smile now plays upon my lips
for once keepings thoughts here to myself
now all too happy to slip delicately
musingly unfolding possibilities of future
vividly into my most recent dreams
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
instead of living my wakeful dreams
wherein you are my lover
playful throwing off the covers
to heat one another
sweetly, so softly at first,
then with rising greed and need
playful wallowing then some floating
making time stand still
aren't these pheremones divine?
cleansing water a favorite thing
showering scrubbing washing you
soaping you up and soaping you down
and yes but of course all around
shampooing your hair from behind while
kissing your trickling wassa rivuleted neck
memories of mine all so true
then preparing, sharing, eating
yet another meal with you
nary a raw onion in sight
take that walk in nature
appreciating each other
and the warmth of sunny rays
knowing your smile and your eyes upon me
as are mine upon you
gazing at each other
within all those glorious trees
hear your voice already most dear
in the same room, near
hearing and feeling
the rise and fall of your breath
thinking of sanctity
within your safe warm arms
and close to your chest
misfortune indeed
refusing to heed
instead chancing to bleed
missing making memories of us real
| |
|
| harvesting of seeds newly planted
Posted: 9/18/2006 6:20:16 PM | stuck in da middle wit you
and im guessin now
i can't go wrong
for now it's just how
i feel and i think
it's all i can do
wanting all i can't grasp
sighing n wanting it to last
for as long as it's meant to
no secrets or promises
nor false tomorrows
whattya want from me man?
i'm just me yeah only me
only way i care to be
yeah i'm damn sure n strong
but cha know this already
my mind is focused
oh yeah it's steady
got my eyes on you man
watchin you
spinnin your yarn
watchin you watchin me
spinnin my wheels
and accelerating
at least i'm
on a straightaway
where's the fuckkin beak
i'm not makin another mistake
my aim is true
but truthfully
i get what i want
too damn often
yeah so what i'm spoilt
grabbing each day
twisting it
wringing it
making it mine
and laughing and smiling too
remember the aim is true
st louis sounds
green and um yeah
but here the weathers
damn fine in early december
finery and all
still climbing up da wall
now's time for action
tired of reflection
chewing at the brain
elephants bury their own
but they live as they roam
like the gypsies
i'm thinkin
wtf do i know of hofophants
i don't wanna waste this life
dreaming of those castles
in the loamy earthy sand
i love this desert's canyons
and the sky so warm
but the traffic's turnin it all brown
is this still my home
my feet are gettin antsy
and yeah my mind is too
sometimes life begs you
to just take a chance
got my eyes on you man
watchin you
spinnin your yarn
watchin you watchin me
spinnin my wheels
and accelerating
at least i'm
on a straightaway
i'm hungry
and i know just
exactly what i want
sure ain't rotten fruit
even though
i've not tasted
even a drop of it
yet | |
|
| sowing the needs of the truly slanted
Posted: 9/18/2006 7:11:42 PM | passing feet on city streets
,distant calls from betting halls
but this is neither a city
or a town big enough for halls
love is fun on insufficient funds
yet these decisions breed our derision
for this "not big enough to be a city"
town without shopping malls
these are things I think
when your passion for me
delivers me here
I know what I got for you
right now its all I know
but you yeah YOU
ought to hear what kind
of noise and destruction
I have and will continue
to wreak upon such small town inhabitants
whew" if you now think
you've heard it all
stick around I haven't told you
all my mispelt observations on you
yeah YOU
Tractor tires of the recently retired
slippery goodbyes from beer stained eyes
but I don't just drive a tractor
and this is not a goodbye or the time to retire | |
|
| backpedaling to forgiveness
Posted: 9/19/2006 5:58:55 PM | is there a better place to be
than in the middle
I'm guessin ..no
but if there is maybe you'd know
how I think ,why I feel
and when its time to show
when its my turn to go
I don't need a promise
or guarantee for a tomorrow
just a little something something
and tickets to the show
thats not much ,maybe even enough
for you ?
or me
even the whole damn country
for now lets talk
let the future take Walters Walk
we can be free
to be who we were meant to be
lets hurry............................. | |
|
| backpedaling to forgiveness
Posted: 9/19/2006 6:09:41 PM | face to face our smiles
are more brilliant than the sun
your eyes eclipsing everything
i'm hungry yeah i'm weary
and yes i'm fine too
but wondering how are you
its not all about me
nor all about you
but it's all about
that which we choose
to DO
i sneak not into anything
its just so simple really
i fell out of my skin with you
i flew up in the air
forgot i had real cares
dangerous that for me
and not at all fair to you | |
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