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| a place for us novices... Posted: 9/4/2006 6:19:56 PM | it was bound to happen this growing pain inside my heart knowing, feeling my mind reeling, lush, ripe delicate inviting possibilities spread as the finest on any full table
but then we had to have the talk imagine, me, not wanting to! for i could no longer hide or avoid the inevitible any further how did he know?! or didn't he? he didn't skip a beat nor even balk his eyes flowed with caring words carefully chosen and whispered
we shared; we dared a bit of this and that not even came a spat luxurious twas untill daylight again crept upon us
and reality rose with the bright honor of the sun in full glory the past night faded and in stumbled reality no matter how i perceive it no matter how much he listens patiently caring, concerned
i cannot longer escape truth all along for both eating and consuming, celebrating partaking of the fine banquet we prepare and spread for the other only to smack into the wall one we cannot get over no matter even if we hold hands joined together and open hearts we face selfishness
either choice of three to make either way i must decide when here so much is at stake each one only makes me cry
death, birth, killing, life multitudes of ideals either way inviting tempatation led astray either and any and all ways only purely selfishness; mine absolving him from any responsibility for fully this IS mine
and yes, evolved but hurting he stands by me, stated sincerely no matter what i decide it just makes thus more lonely
hardship aside either way nothing more to cleanse shared sins of past night's and day's ways
dare i chance it dare to allow dreams to become reality either way surely there'll be hell to pay
i owe no explanation this much understood, respected even and stood by words stated and felt strongly and good as earth's stones
fear resides in all of us even those we stow away what really matters is deciphering day to day
coming unloose or rather undone learning then knowing i'm not the only one becoming a fidget monster barely able to sit wtf is that pain about damn making me shift
those, them, she, him, they seemed gleeful, even cheery i could hardly believe my ears like a child crying through eyes bleary all i could do but sit there teary pondering the future vast
incredulous at the news wondering how it could be hopeful at least and ironic at best now i barely seem able to rest damn it, just another test
temptation taking flight thoughts whirling left and right what to do, what to do then comes a morning after just last night all seems settled for me and you
fate herself walked in, sat down then flew up and all around i felt her, and know you did too her grace knew best and fairly just what to do perhaps she realised this was just for once much bigger than i even at my strongest?
i tell him it's ok; i say it'll be fine; he says it will, you are strong! to each other we lie but for once i don't mind hoping he won't worry anymore he has enough in and on his mind and afterall it's just a teeny tiny lie it won't be fine, it cannot even begin to ease hearts nor minds but i will go on strongly, bravely anyway and i can give him this easily this biggest possible gift ever grateful he is him and i am me and we were once us
just for today i will forget this pain as i must endure it this much is clear no more to ahead fear today i pretend it's tomorrow while dusting off yesterday
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| a place for us novices... Posted: 9/5/2006 12:18:56 AM | yawning yet cannot find rythym of sleep it evades me and my soul yearns and plays it's all too familiar tricks on me and how could anyone, thinking of sheep?
they'd appear to me in shades of purple green and blue, comical and distorted now thinking of photoshop editing well, minus the baa baa ing hoopla
that in turn brings to mind damn it that digi cam and even razorcam phone booklets too intricate for the novice that is me
for my talents lie elsewhere hardly intangible but certainly not either of mind technological now dammit quantum theory phsysics playing tricks within my mind's attention now again places of long ago yesterdays haunting my wakefulness and coming to mind
hawaii though she beckons me still the simplicity of this then young woman in fresh new naive love grew into the first beginnings of maturity for it was in this beautyland i really began to learn, live and truth know and it was here too my dearest sibling's passing became unbelievable news i learned over the phone and screamed for the first time in my life NO at my dear mother and collapsed sliding back against the wall till my ass hit the floor crying silent primal tears after she hung up on me because she could not bear to hear her youngest daughter's crying for that was the beginning of her own life with no more only son and only his memories and love to sustain us, and on friends we did lean thankfully i was in nature, and she was kind, full of life and so green
a few years passed and i found myself then living in sunny spain right on the beach sand, playful waves and cood earthy tile beneath my bare feet 5 floors were ours in that home with a vew 3 balconies too, and 1 set of french doors which he once walked right through yes he was unhurt, amazing but true so now pretty pictures comes to mind friends and neighbors back then parties and functions sun fun vino and ahh the food ventas and wineries antique shops like never seen prior real country drives in europa nary even once a flat tire frolicking nuns on the beach in the sun and breeze whirled in far away spain as they seemed synchronised perfectly enmeshed with my 80s synth cd via earbuds
via madrid to rainy heathrow london and her bustle of people museums, river thames art and architecture brought tears unashamedly down my face for you see i'm a romantic full of passion not haste ahh the quaint pubs toy shops and bookstores galore it was like heaven again the food wasn't bad either but good unlike as prior perceptions dictacted it should perhaps it was really the stout; mellow and smooth thick chocolate earthy froth?
manila, deplaning in misty rain the jungle outskirts dangerous closed to international traffic but our plane was brought in and we drove through a checkpoint an american lost his life at just the day prior, not for me to know till ensconsed in the taxi jeep for true destination 3 hours away for a short stay more humidity than i ever known truth be known it was a lovefest for my then military spouse and i rejoined after separation caused by three month old beginning of desert storm we loved and clung to each other and he came home three months later our marriage anew and grateful for comforts of being lovers still strong those three years were long torturuos and i learned to see beyond my own heart, mind and eyes the world was smaller somehow and not so safe anymore
much more yet inside but i need a respite i'll now blow out this candle wearily within and settle to sleep till morning's first light until a day new and fresh prompts me to begin again anew | |
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| a place for us novices... Posted: 9/5/2006 12:48:29 PM |
frolicking nuns on the beach
Geez, softy, are you trying to give me a woody?
Love the free-flowing openness here. Some luminous images. | |
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| a place for us novices... Posted: 9/5/2006 3:49:26 PM | rory, got wood? musta been the thought of those stiff starched black uniformish type clothes made with the tiniest of perfect stitches that aroused you... thanks for your kind words!  | |
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| a place for us novices... Posted: 9/9/2006 11:11:28 AM | what to do, what to do sometimes we hastily decide make up our minds before it's too late to run out of proper time try to undo nature or even fate or something mistaken as something else entirely it's best to quietly selfishly be still and do nothing but contemplate future openly
today rippled waters beckon the sun is more than warm it is completely forgiving nurturing, life giving promise of each new day reminding me the true realization so you see; i'm just all me yet haven't forgotten my way
not enough to hope you see nor even communicate deeply one must sweat and one must toil take and responsibilty unfolding work hard at not being foiled keep safe the distance yet remaining open decide what's best remain full and unbroken
a time for celebration and calming quietness of mind knowing the tiniest seed inside is indeed one of hope the world is indeed outwardly fragmented but deep in my me is the wonder and magic of what may yet come to be
i hold strongly to faith and hope flowering, and blooming pointed out, spoken, noticed fulfillment, completion promise of each new day what will be, will be
not for me to change or undo no whisking away this beauty unfurls and holds me captivated far more strongly than i could have ever imagined
please feel free to post and share here along with me | |
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| a place for us novices... Posted: 9/13/2006 3:34:44 AM | beyond the door and now thankfully beyond another's door his pants lay in a heap upon the wooden floor once upon a time ago he couldn't wait to caress my face and i couldn't wait to stroke and feel him as well both once openly professing desires for singular future full of promises, professions of wanting, needing for him to leave me wanting much more than sex he claimed he wanted and needed more from me and i naively believed that game he played so convincingly and deeply as he claimed after time i freely gave, and yes, partook of, too it's true he said he was more than sure ready and oh so willing we waited and anticipated, we did what lovers do just a pretender of the most convincing rank here today now i'm free to be blunt and frank
but the soul deep inside was lost you see despite intense gazes and sweetest of kisses those vast intentions false, and for so long before me as a vampire feeds upon others souls desperately partaking, fulfilling only selfish needs so adept, i was convinced, i was mesmerized the master of deception held truths otherwise no longer this day deserving of my intentions my own responsibility of realization and acceptance has set me free and open to contemplation we owe one another whatsoever no explanation for i was open to self actualization
no longer capable of holding even my contempt while firstly i admit i was openly enraged yes of course for self but all the others too past present and future to fall into that trap as prey to the predator; just within his nature once i stood in judgement before noticing he is not, cannot, will not choose to evolve holds not growth nor thought to feel or transpire he only knows only to hungrily feed and breed desire unsatiable hungers, pretense of life never fulfilled and while he is only what he chooses to be ever grateful as brightest power of truth yes acceptance too shone brightly within and to myself allowing finally grace and inner balance to return
the choices of mine own resposibility returned and while my delicate garments aren't next to his anymore a smile now plays in my mind and on my lips, knowing yet his pants lay in a heap upon another wooden floor all is good and just as it should be, for you see while today nor this night; no longer of nor from me the parasite continues as he must~ to feed | |
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| a place for us novices... Posted: 9/13/2006 3:35:47 AM | simple ode to a jackass
me, i'm not a casual woman surely if you were sincere you'd have at least gleaned i say what i feel and i say what i think alas not yet to you clear perhaps time for you near to dry out from your drink
i care not in the least for your impromptu suggestions or persistant calls unanswered please read here now and know see, not now nor will i ever be interested in even imagining you and i ever in any way together call me shallow if you must you won't give up but now you must
this saturday night past yes a medical emergency thankfully past now and healing at very least kept us from meeting yes i've felt ill since then but you ignore any heeding and you simply refuse to hear as what i say you just ignore clearly you're not in the least what i'm wanting or needing it's all lost on your ears but i owe you nothing do you not clearly see?
we have never, no not ever you and i gone out together an exchange of cell numbers is all we ever shared chalk it up a simple mistake get on with your life i demand and implore you before in my hands i'll take this opportunity to clarify what's at hand and at stake not even asking nor pleading no more calls at two to me from you in fact none whatsoever further contact from you
no jokes or smiles no sharing of selves certainly not intimacy or frienship even nor will it ever be
as you've surely sealed your fate calling me just now a bit past two this morning is this early or late thanks to you i'm now wide awake as i lie here, needing my rest you must be daft, haven't a clue with my retorts on the phone demanding you leave me alone or i can easily make that happen if you persist blindly make no mistake as it's more than clear perhaps go drink some more beer for i've decidedly dismissed you | |
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| a place for us novices... Posted: 9/13/2006 5:17:35 AM | To the BOTH OF YOU....... Very, very rewarding. My God, I have been blessed this morning in my readings here. very, uplifting & might i add, Spiritual. My hat is off to you.  SpiriT  | |
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| a place for us novices... Posted: 9/13/2006 6:48:31 AM | Spirit~ i have far to go here; thank you so much for your kind words! if you have more time next time, add some lines of your own, this was from the beginning, meant to be a sharing thread, but too few people want to leave their words here, in a place for us novices... i guess they are too refined; but all are more than welcome here. (except the dude that called me just after two this am!)  | |
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| a place for us novices... Posted: 9/14/2006 8:06:05 PM | it wasn't me I swear soft E well you asked for it sooooo
in a desperate state of mind a leaky boat is in need of repair a rainbow clad beauty stands majestic seeking a magic touch
on an island surrounded by a sea of doubt is a man child in need of a hope he's alone on these pebbled shores because he's fallen for her and he can't get up can't rise above it
in the twisted covering of sleep the boy dreams his wistful thoughts he imagines a future of wealth accompanied by a trophy on his arm
the stars guide his chosen path it is not the destiny he has come to covet he awoke at the ease of loss he's fallen for her and he can't get up can't rise above it
she took him so high he could hear angels they sang to him lullabies he could not resist them they said to him ,they'd let him in but he cried "you lie you could never allow someone like me inside cause I've fallen for her and I can't get up can't rise above it
it's a tangled web we weave as the vessel sinks like a hope a wealth of beauty beheld in kind as the touch turns tragic on the arm the path wanders out of reach and destiny collides with recall a bottled message is in need of release it says hes fallen for her and he can't get up can't rise above it all
she took him so high he could see angels they sang to him a welcome he could not believe them they promised a kingdom but he cried these are all lies you could never let someone like me inside cause I've fallen for her and I can't get up I can't rise that high above this fall | |
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| a place for us novices... Posted: 9/15/2006 8:20:51 PM | all you have to do is stop asking y'know and now for something completely different
December twenty third ,nineteen hundred seventy three on the south side of St Louis Missouri U.S.A A street light revealed the lengthening darkness of a dead ends back alley A blind man and beggar break bread together to share in life's fortunes each has been dealt the ills of humanity yet suffer no disgruntlement nor grief In the companionship of compassion nestled in the litter strewn back alley of lost hopes they appear to....shine
Many years from now in the receiving room of an antiseptic hall of healing a blessed couple rejoice in the birth of a new blood member to their tribe with wondrous eyes they survey the miracle before them The Healer equally proud of his part at the conception in this time of barren wombs observe the recipients and reflects they.....shine
In a time and place out of mind a Baron festooned by a mistress lounges in relative obscurity while dining on honeydew and sharp cheese beholding wealth's trappings they gaze upon their fiefdom with envious eyes for the simple lives of the unfettered By the thickening glow of contentment from the teeming hovels of the peasants the Baron declares on their rapture they.....shine
In the right here and now without ever even trying you.....shine | |
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| a place for us novices... Posted: 9/16/2006 3:24:36 AM | wow simple, thank you so much for your contributions here; you...rock!
ometimes our lives seem to wax and to wane surely as our beloved luminescent moon drives the tides
strap on your seat belt if you must for at first this may seem the craziest of any and all rides
even the simple and leakiest of boats with proper work, care and love may become the sturdiest of vessels with true god course, chartered on hope
as plushest of velvets and flannels most comfortably adorn and make my bed remembering promises of warmth and feeling alive myself singularly tossing and turning even in sleep and within my own body and mind
just before sunlight again awakens me magical chimes signalling it's already past time sleepily rousing, lazily lathering in the shower then stepping out and into the dawn of my day to make my new way and find my fresh grind i'd rather be back abed with us sleepily entwined
if perchance both have fallen though not one any more deeper than the other both may then freely begin to further grow respecting truth and sharing laughing daring inhaling deeply the scent of the other singularly two lives dance and fold into one hope may falter yet residing within two never dies remembering cold hearts chased back to yesterdays
yes for him she is loyal, casting out all doubts but it's just in their simplest ways unspoken bathing in darkness and of anointing with oils caring for each other and partaking jointly spoils
it might begin with tender smile or a shared joke take on strength doubled brilliantly hot forged steel looking together forward in cleansing warm water daring to hold tightly to dreams yet even awake ever casting aside loneliest fears and dread sing a silly song if it brings a smile to lips selfish even for then it's easiest to steal a kiss
whilst salacious dreams may be a turn on indeed as may well rekindle simplest touch born of needs irony, coincidence, happenstance or circumstance choices for two remain plentiful and abundant ignore those false who seem trite or redundant
remember to stay on course, best well charted veer not off the virtue soul integrity's path never set yourself up with pain and dishonesty never allowing hope to leave your mind's grasp
allow the child deep inside to come out to play but take time to laugh and trust in others in maturity learned or thoughts integrated too
i think angels sometimes pause to rest dare i admit nature earth herself may bless by reason of opulence and proclivities seemingly knowing our every very need even before we dare whisper them freely
the safest intended place for mere mortals to choose to rest and lay our weary heads is ever upon a perfect angel's breast
comfort or solace are offered those there with open heart and arms widely outstretched magnificent strong yet softest of wings enveloping you keeping those they choose to safely protect
i try just for today to lay aside racing heart and thoughts understanding humans must simply strive somewhere within for hunger of knowledge it is in that place they may find that even themselves; humans can grow wings
one by one or in multitudes daring will come at last to a place to float and rise as the phoenix once again to highest depths soar | |
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| a place for us novices... Posted: 9/16/2006 3:56:39 AM | Hi, I discovered several months ago due to life's struggles and tribulations that I have a love for poetry. I also enjoy writing poetry very much for which I have received awards for and in the wee hours of this morn I came across this poem while I was reading poetry on a site that I enjoy going to. I want to share this poem with all the women on POF. May you be a woman scorned, defeated, still searching or have found your friend, lover or partner. Below is the poem, hope you enjoy it as much as I do. Just Because
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- JUST BECAUSE --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Just because no one has been fortunate enough to realize what a gold mine you are,
doesn't mean you shine any less.
Just because no one has been smart enough to figure out that you can't be topped,
doesn't stop you from being the best.
Just because no one has come along to share your life,
doesn't mean that day isn't coming.
Just because no one has made this race worth while,
doesn't give you permission to stop running.
Just because no one has realized how much of a woman you are,
doesn't mean they can affect your femininity.
Just because no one has come to take the loneliness away,
doesn't mean you have to settle for a lower quality.
Just because no one has shown up who can love you on your level,
doesn't mean you have to sink to theirs.
Just because you deserve the very best there is,
doesn't mean that life is always fair.
Just because God is still preparing your king,
doesn't mean that you're not already a queen.
Just because your situation doesn't seem to be progressing right now,
doesn't mean you need to change a thing.
Keep shining,
Keep running,
Keep hoping,
Keep praying,
Keep being exactly what you are already ...
COMPLETE!
~~ Author Unknown ~~ | |
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| a place for us novices... Posted: 9/16/2006 10:45:13 AM | firefox, thank you for sharing a thoughtful poem that corresponds with the content here. please if you like, feel free to share an original write, it needn't have won any awards, for this is the novice's thread, any and all are welcome here.
including kat and cabin who long ago were so nice as to respond and yet went unacknowledged, for this i do apologise especially as they both from the beginning have been so thoughtful kind and sweet!
i'm grateful to have resurrected this mine own from last year and read words of others gracing with their presence and thusly this place isn't so lonely anymore with only myself fumbling about with my words echoing back in the emptiness back at me. no matter our position or circumstance...
they, she, he, we... all shine on these few pages early in conception and inception! | |
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| a place for us novices... Posted: 9/16/2006 12:40:46 PM | Novices...seems like the right place to post this. I wrote this the other day after being inspired by a letter from someone... If nothing else it helps expand the mind.
SEASONS...
Going to be a long cold winter....the snow so deep. The crust of ice crunching at my feet.
With thoughts of warmth, and laughter...filling the empty space.The only sound heard... the breathing as I walk a steady pace.
Over the field and to the edge of the trees, the lone figure wonders. To the quiet place to sit...he ponders.
Moments of time both past and future.... seem cold and distance...yet... Knowledge of the one not met....
Going to be a long cold winter.....The fire ever burning. The closeness of a soul .... to help with the urning?
The snow will go in time....and bring new life and living. All the feeling of love free for the giving.
And with sky so blue . and roses so sweet, and the feelings of truth like wonder we meet.
The grass will spring and new babes will birth. The new friends will fill heart with mirth.
Going to be a long cold winter? Not if life's Worth living......
Rad | |
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| a place for us novices... Posted: 9/16/2006 12:47:54 PM | Thank you..Soft and thank you for such a warm welcome . Yes, I may have received recognition for my work but I'm still a starving poet..... However, I take great pleasure in knowing that one of my poems has done well as to that it has been published for all to read. Which is more gratifying than any monetary value. Also may I commend you and Simple on such deep, passionate verses of thought and feeling.....hugs to the both of you....
This is my bit and for now it's a little bit.....
...to even the score. For which are we to ponder away the truth of things that come by our way The truth be knowest only to them | |
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| a place for us novices... Posted: 9/16/2006 1:18:40 PM | a new start, thank you for sharing and weaving into this thread, know you're welcome here anytime. evoking visions true is a talent surely you have, more than simply a nice write you left...
firefox, it's great you've been published and find such grace in writing thoughtfully. "The truth be knowest only to them" is spot on, for truth means different things to all of us shaped by our experiences, and isn't that in itself a beautiful thing to consider? i'm only beginning to in a most elementary way cast out some snippets and too long winded thoughts of my past, present and future kindlings. thank you for your kindest of words; but mine is just a way to try to learn to begin self expression and relief of words coming outward from within.
any good, bad or ugly all within our minds and hearts welcomed here. with differences and likeness here please fell free to cast and share! thank you all the honor of posting your own inner workings of mind heart and soul, whether deep or short, inspiring or purging; whatever the content here unfurling...
i'm trying to keep some of mine concentrated within this thread, so if i seem divergent well yes likely that's true. ;)
here we all share the cocoons of our minds the thrones or gutters of our own crafting loving to wordsmith and setting of stage preparing our simple or lush banquets going about habits and ways of our days
hoping, reading and gazing at others sometimes feeling contempt or sincerity from various community sisters and brothers not all here seek but a lover
everwhere we look and can easily see some are content in their lives but not within their own minds this common bond to post inner thoughts some bestowing praise and being kind others cleverly peeling skin as in rinds
goats and sheep leap and jump about they scour rocky crags without second thought not many i've seen worry before jumping they dare and just try rarely do they drop
we're all together taking the good bad and ugly here all conjoin inept and adept the fairest sailing along with the stubbily gristle life's just like that, we reap that we sow some easily do their thing as they whistle while others seek to pour out and bestow while upwardly paddling, bent to just stay afloat
if you choose be like the sheep and goats so be it i'll encourage you here and now if you do dare to take the plunge or jump no one can push you off that ledge you stay upon but you might just grow wings and soar through the air all for yourself and inner wicked best pleasure
and yet another...
you don't even know yourself at all destined to romance and then fall never able to uphold nor follow through any proclamations your mouth spewed deception and lies causing such drama too deftly you so very well learned most hidden and evil traits of your mama religious zealot outwardly you say was she but inner demons lived consuming visciously
shocking to me, you repeatedly claimed you just never won't and don't believe nor share of or in hope anymore i should have listened carefully, more really taken your heed and believed and walked intently backwards out your door even if i watched carefully your face twisted now without trace of grace your eyes were void of anything but pain on your own to dance for cleansing rain and hunt for another to play tricks on instead taking up space in her heart, head and bed
poor little lambs destined for slaughter believing at first a golden man full of praise they've luckily found within you unaware of sure fate soon to knocking a few months more time then unable to uphold your own integrity and will return to your cruel hardened ways
but instead i failed only myself thinking love conquers obstacles naively and blinded by feelings letting go of all the ignored red flags waving straight and blowing into my face directly then and not much time it took not long for me to realise simply you were never mine
while i was yours completely i knew not then how inticately deceit lived within your life and soul and danced upon your very heart i paid for other's crimes and your karma and expensive though they were destiny in form of salvation true stepped in forced her hand and just as quickly we were through
though now i'm greatly relieved at the turning twisting of events gaining my self respect back and leaving you to your whims was indeed my best and truest gift
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| a place for us novices... Posted: 9/16/2006 2:03:10 PM | Why can't I let you go I want to so badly You are in my blood You're in my soul I tremble with anxiety at the thought of you Oh! what have you done is so unrepairable It's ruining my life, it's breaking me down I want you out of head and my heart I don't know how to make us part.
I weep the memory of you The today's and tomorrows are now gone You were my rock, my salvation You didn't feel the same I was just a pawn in your game Something in me died that when you denounced me to her All the lies you said left me empty and dead For what I wonder for her! What is she that I couldn't be Oh! my kids you said Did I ask you to be their dad No I didn't, they have a father A father you can never be because of your little secret you see | |
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| a place for us novices... Posted: 9/16/2006 6:58:04 PM | alors plusse la change ,plusse set la mémé chose
alright now lets get personnel lets talk about your new home yeah those wall to wall parapets and little ornamental gnomes I'm very pleased to be here however you did do done it impressive to quote a must we two waited far too to long senseless to make appearances here where its made up its mind to experience delightful deliverance
ah yes the truth ,back to my truth it figures ,it splinters and it counts days ,minutes ,seconds and dreams of you ,of me of whatever we wish it could be
This was all before I was dragged by willing body past ballroom distractions to an unmade lonely bed dismissing all distractions with objections and lowered head playing completely unconscious charm foiling this ruse denying my one and only is turning my eyes to you
having played these cards correctly in that town of dealers dung unloading a life's obsessions leaving both in that dieing town in the deepest of dark holes burying two pasts inside earning our wings of flight allowing destiny a free hand to ride
and we hold trembling bodies in the warmth of a wedding bed tongue tied in consummation blowing our weary heads we're timid and listen intently to lips that overrule whispering finds of ones and onlys as all eyes turn to you
nes pas ? | |
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| a place for us novices... Posted: 9/17/2006 1:28:22 PM | obscene, intoxicating, deciphering enigmas and puzzles dance upon my heart yes i am obsessed, with words and finding their true meaning
my love of words whispered spoken written declared, fiercly shared debated even sometimes, albeit calmly
leaves my inner options many free and open to mind yuck myself even if thats what i choose for me isn't that snice? yes i meant snice...
words and ideas within them considering, pondering musing aloud, am i a muse?
this love of mine of words began when i was very young environmentally imprinted upon my soul within my very me that's me
parents immigrant refugees torn from their homes and countries of war and brought their lives with hope and not much else to what once represented the land of the free and the home of the brave
in my family home english only was spoken to us children and their native tongues to each other while this means i lost my heritage their command of language grew to their somewhat unfair advantage
a break from natural culture and tradition passed per se we dared never speak of it even to this day, just yet another secret to be hidden away
it left me with too many questions unanswered and curious too but also a love of learning within me deeply grew
my parents both are gone now and family i shunned by choice as what is real and good to me differs from their reality
so i forge ahead singularly within my own beliefs about what family means, is and ought to be
communique important to me i take things often too literally as i seek for balance inside i know it's best to give credence due to basic principles growth, play, honestly integrity to self and others respect and forgiveness
trying my best to relax appreciate the sun on my face the soft winds caressing me just be the hedonistic gypsy passionate that i am and grateful to be without doubts or regrets for life cannot be undone best to look to the future and be grateful again for the sun
to find a partner perfect for me patience and understanding required as i'd strive to be, with him creating and carving out our own ideas of a perfect world for ourselves a gift to each other most grand to please ourselves and one another
it's just my silly little fantasy but hope has never left my heart and yes, dreams more than comfort me my heart beats faster in anticipation blood courses through me faster now as i await my erato's face in my hands and we begin our journey whatever to unfold to begin with a delicate kiss
le fait, volonté il pas mon erato?! | |
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| harvesting of seeds newly planted Posted: 9/17/2006 3:34:32 PM | jumping to gather; preparing for the harvest of these young autumnal ways...
putting action where your mouth is; daring fate to take flight; checkmate
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imagine a child, me full of innocence and grace despite happenings in my own home no way can i replace reality so i continue on this journey
back then wickedly huge brown eyes and platinum silky hair adorned what once was then this face
the subject has been posed before yes its true it has and i've rushed willingly over many seas
bohemian little gypsy child of passion, even then of music this time i'm remembering and whirling to it wildly before floor to ceiling mirrors wall to wall you see this small one danced excitedly
momentum and time carried the her that now is me holding it close in memory deep inside this heart
imagine the suprise gift from a mother to a daughter carefully tucked inside a box swathed in tissue safely saved from the days long ago of dolls paints and her trike the music prompting the dance passionate in another language the music still sits safely in that box from long ago awaiting new life
back then oh so content to whirl and twirl and sway watching carefully her reflection dancing away the day spinning and raising of arms arcing, curling above her head posing for her own self grasping those small hands one within another as then she twirled and forgot fears of that time
little bits and snippets still return strongly in her mind
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yes, i have a floss fetish. and a foot feetish too. and no they aren't in anyway connected... except leaving that to your imagination, erato exactly what this woman can do with floss, besides its intended use
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to rejoice in your melancholy you dear, or i; melancholy?! either to rejoice in one another's hard to even imagine, now eh...
no more, for now, for today we have each other or do we yet even should we make it so?
i promise herein truth always clear, and to never force any attempt to wind your heart 'round anything else only if you freely choose, perhaps mine
thinking now of my erato after gently hanging up the phone still envisioning various scenarios and of the all things left yet unseen as this soft smile now plays upon my lips for once keepings thoughts here to myself now all too happy to slip delicately musingly unfolding possibilities of future vividly into my most recent dreams
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instead of living my wakeful dreams wherein you are my lover playful throwing off the covers to heat one another
sweetly, so softly at first, then with rising greed and need playful wallowing then some floating making time stand still aren't these pheremones divine?
cleansing water a favorite thing showering scrubbing washing you soaping you up and soaping you down and yes but of course all around shampooing your hair from behind while kissing your trickling wassa rivuleted neck memories of mine all so true then preparing, sharing, eating yet another meal with you nary a raw onion in sight
take that walk in nature appreciating each other and the warmth of sunny rays knowing your smile and your eyes upon me as are mine upon you gazing at each other within all those glorious trees
hear your voice already most dear in the same room, near hearing and feeling the rise and fall of your breath thinking of sanctity within your safe warm arms and close to your chest misfortune indeed refusing to heed instead chancing to bleed missing making memories of us real
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| harvesting of seeds newly planted Posted: 9/18/2006 6:20:16 PM | stuck in da middle wit you and im guessin now i can't go wrong for now it's just how i feel and i think it's all i can do
wanting all i can't grasp sighing n wanting it to last for as long as it's meant to no secrets or promises nor false tomorrows whattya want from me man?
i'm just me yeah only me only way i care to be yeah i'm damn sure n strong but cha know this already my mind is focused oh yeah it's steady
got my eyes on you man watchin you spinnin your yarn watchin you watchin me spinnin my wheels and accelerating at least i'm on a straightaway
where's the fuckkin beak i'm not makin another mistake my aim is true but truthfully i get what i want too damn often yeah so what i'm spoilt grabbing each day twisting it wringing it making it mine and laughing and smiling too remember the aim is true
st louis sounds green and um yeah but here the weathers damn fine in early december finery and all still climbing up da wall
now's time for action tired of reflection chewing at the brain elephants bury their own but they live as they roam like the gypsies i'm thinkin
wtf do i know of hofophants i don't wanna waste this life dreaming of those castles in the loamy earthy sand
i love this desert's canyons and the sky so warm but the traffic's turnin it all brown is this still my home
my feet are gettin antsy and yeah my mind is too sometimes life begs you to just take a chance
got my eyes on you man watchin you spinnin your yarn watchin you watchin me spinnin my wheels and accelerating at least i'm on a straightaway
i'm hungry and i know just exactly what i want sure ain't rotten fruit even though i've not tasted even a drop of it yet | |
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| sowing the needs of the truly slanted Posted: 9/18/2006 7:11:42 PM | passing feet on city streets ,distant calls from betting halls but this is neither a city or a town big enough for halls
love is fun on insufficient funds yet these decisions breed our derision for this "not big enough to be a city" town without shopping malls
these are things I think when your passion for me delivers me here I know what I got for you right now its all I know but you yeah YOU ought to hear what kind of noise and destruction I have and will continue to wreak upon such small town inhabitants whew" if you now think you've heard it all stick around I haven't told you all my mispelt observations on you yeah YOU Tractor tires of the recently retired slippery goodbyes from beer stained eyes but I don't just drive a tractor and this is not a goodbye or the time to retire | |
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| backpedaling to forgiveness Posted: 9/19/2006 5:58:55 PM | is there a better place to be than in the middle I'm guessin ..no but if there is maybe you'd know how I think ,why I feel and when its time to show when its my turn to go I don't need a promise or guarantee for a tomorrow just a little something something and tickets to the show thats not much ,maybe even enough for you ? or me even the whole damn country for now lets talk let the future take Walters Walk we can be free to be who we were meant to be lets hurry............................. | |
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| backpedaling to forgiveness Posted: 9/19/2006 6:09:41 PM | face to face our smiles are more brilliant than the sun your eyes eclipsing everything
i'm hungry yeah i'm weary and yes i'm fine too but wondering how are you its not all about me nor all about you but it's all about that which we choose to DO
i sneak not into anything its just so simple really i fell out of my skin with you i flew up in the air forgot i had real cares dangerous that for me and not at all fair to you | |
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