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| People that don't have~nor EVER want kids..what do you think?
Posted: 12/15/2005 3:08:25 AM | John you sound as if you are very bitter against women.
I have heard some men say that they don't wont children because they are scared that the relationship would break up. If the relationship broke up the mother would probably win custody and may make it difficult for them to see the child, or even try to turn the child against them.
There are also men and women who want sex, but they don't want children, and no form of contraceptive is one hundred per cent safe. Sex is the strongest force known to mankind. And the human race still cannot understand it. Enforced celebacy can lead to child abuse and perversions, as has been seen in the catholic church. Yet if we have sex we must consider the possibility that a child may result. Nobody can know one hundred per cent that their relationship is going to work.
I have regular unprotected sex with my partner and so does he with me. If we got me pregnant, of course I would want a child, I would also do everything in my power to keep my relationship with the father good and encourage him in his role as father.
I know that some men find it difficult to handle a new born baby. A baby is so precious and delicate. Psychologist say that a child begins to need their father more at the age of two or three, when they begin to develop co-ordination and motor control. At this age a man might pick a child up and throw them in the air, whereas a woman would be scared to drop them. Sadly, some relationships break up before they rich this point.
Sometimes the offspring of broken relationships decide when they grow up that they don't want to have children themselves. | |
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| People that don't have~nor EVER want kids..what do you think?
Posted: 12/15/2005 3:23:04 AM | To the original poster, not everyone has a primal urge to reproduce. I could say I just wasn't with the right person at the right time. And that is partly true. But the fact is I never, ever got broody. And while I never made a conscious decision to have children, I never made a conscious decision not to have them either.
I never saw any need to analyse why. The world needs both after all - the reproducers and the non reproducers. | |
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| People that don't have~nor EVER want kids..what do you think?
Posted: 12/15/2005 4:13:21 AM | | Unless they're over 30, I try to just smile and nod, but occasionally I'll end up telling them that they'll most likely change their minds when their biology kicks in. Most people don't like to hear it, but it happens so often that I find it hard to take people seriously when they say things like that unless they've got a medical reason. | |
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| People that don't have~nor EVER want kids..what do you think?
Posted: 12/15/2005 4:44:46 AM | "How can people NOT resist the procreative urge when they have ZERO skills as a parent, ZERO desire to sacrifice as only parents are called to, and ZERO knowledge about what they're in for????"
AMEN!!!!!!!!!!! I can't get pregnant but the crack head next door can!!!  | |
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| People that don't have~nor EVER want kids..what do you think?
Posted: 12/16/2005 3:56:42 PM | It makes me sick how many women say they want kids..blah blah blah, then they HAVE THEM and end up as single moms with a couple of young children looking for a dad on Plenty of Fish!!
Oh boy..lol..do u have a chip on your shoulder!!
I don't know if you know much about biology..but a woman's ability to bear children decreases dramatically after the age of 35. There is also a much higher chance of birth defects, if a woman conceives later in life. So, if a woman wants to have a child...married or not, she is wise to have one..or 10...whatever the case may be, BEFORE she is 45. Women are not like men..who can produce children when they are 100...if they so choose.
If you're looking for a woman in your age range...you had better aim your sites on women a bit younger than that. Some women may not mind starting a family when they are well into their late thirties or forties...but, for the majority...they choose to start earlier.
What on God's green earth, makes you think any of us mature women are out looking for a "father" for our children?...We are looking for...and ENTITLED TO..... love...JUST LIKE YOU!! Plzzzz...don't flatter yourself!! | |
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| People that don't have~nor EVER want kids..what do you think?
Posted: 12/16/2005 4:08:28 PM |
The world needs both after all - the reproducers and the non reproducers
I am coming to realize this. I was raised Roman Catholic and I was having a hard time understanding many things...things that I was taught, but questioned. This thread has been extremely educational for me...thanks to all the responses.   | |
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| People that don't have~nor EVER want kids..what do you think?
Posted: 12/18/2005 11:20:32 PM | This is the last post I will make on this particular forum, but to ALL the people who keep saying that those of us without kids are missing out on something and are very bitter and selfish people (and thank you to those who aren’t saying this) here are a few things that ALL childless people around you do for your kids on a daily basis:
We are the ones your kids turn to when they can't tell you things for fear or losing your love or your anger or just because you are their parent's. We are the ones who release you from your every day burdens and take your kids to the parks and fun places that sometimes full-time parents don't have the time or the money to take them. We are the ones who can help give kids other things the real parents can't afford or aren't willing or can't take care of. We are the ones paying very large taxes in your school districts so your kids schools can afford more items, although we will never have children going to school there. We are the ones who can buy your kids items they sell door to door that you and your friends who have kids can't always do, because you are always buying stuff for other parents kids. We are the ones who work until 8:00pm on Christmas eve, any other major holiday, or just on a daily basis in general so you can spend time with your families...we are the ones who have to put in extra hours so the women we work with can take three months off and come back to their secure job, after their maternity leave...
Do I sound bitter? If that's how you take this post you would be wrong.... I love kids but have chosen not to have any..(please go back and read all my posts)...however all the things I listed above are true and accurate whether you agree or not, and it takes the people who physically have kids and those who don't but are still excellent role models, to make a thriving mentally healthy child. So please keep our dedication on your children’s behalf in mind, the next time you blurt out that someone is selfish for not having children. | |
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eira30
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Joined: 1/19/2004
Msg: 236 | |
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| People that don't have~nor EVER want kids..what do you think?
Posted: 12/22/2005 10:54:02 AM | | well i am 41 and i dont have any children......yeah i would love to have kids but it does not look like it will happen in this lifetime, i think i would have been a great dad...i love children and i def. make kids feel comfortable around me.....i do things they like to do or i adapt to things they like to do.......i often wonder what it would be like | |
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| People that don't have~nor EVER want kids..what do you think?
Posted: 6/20/2007 7:26:25 PM | I know one big reason to have kids...GRANDKIDS...if i hadn't have had my daughter i would never have two BEAUTIFUL granddaughters and one on the way...there's a saying out there..."If i had known grandkids could be this much fun i would have had them first"  | |
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mmmmz
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Joined: 5/23/2007
Msg: 240 | |
| People that don't have~nor EVER want kids..what do you think?
Posted: 8/4/2007 3:50:59 PM | Yes get a dog so you can follow behind them for the rest of your life picking up their waste products.
Dogs are the biggest liability so needy and annoying.
At least a child will become self sufficient and hold an intelligent conversation some day. | |
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| People that don't have~nor EVER want kids..what do you think?
Posted: 8/4/2007 4:05:11 PM | | Sounds like a bunch of smart people out there if they don't want kids. What is so special about your bloodline that you wish to carry it on? Are you related to William Shakespeare? Albert Einstein? Robbie Williams? (the last example is meant to be a joke). Primal instinct to pro-create? Surely we've advanced beyond that. Most of us don't live in caves any more. It's personal choice, personal freedom. It's dispensing with the sheep mentality. Yeah I know, hard to do in a society that seems to encourage herding... | |
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| People that don't have~nor EVER want kids..what do you think?
Posted: 8/4/2007 4:15:59 PM | I want children, but I can understand people that want to retire early.
If I never find "the one" I fully intend to spoil the crap out of my nephew and his eventual children. He's 7 now, and he knows who buys him the best Christmas gifts.
Last year I actually had money, and I knew I wouldn't this year, so I got him 3 Harry Potter books and a GIANT nerf gun with 4 attachments.... | |
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| People that don't have~nor EVER want kids..what do you think?
Posted: 8/4/2007 4:16:35 PM | I love my kids and they have been my life, Those that choose not to have them I think are really missing out on a great experience .
I do believe it is their choice and we are all different, I know some that want and love kids are often the ones who can't have them.
Some people are just not cut out to be parents, I feel by not having them is a smarter choice than the ones who have them and don't want them... | |
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| People that don't have~nor EVER want kids..what do you think?
Posted: 8/4/2007 5:09:40 PM | | I think that while my instinct is in tact (as far as sex-drive goes, anyway), logic interferes with my desire to procreate. First, I look around me and see children everywhere when one might argue that the planet is already beyond over-populated in many regions. Second, there is definitely a bit of selfishness involved for me. I have goals I want to accomplish in life, places I want to go, and things I want to do that would be severely hindered if I were to have children. I don't want that responsibility. Maybe I will in 10 years, but right now it isn't appealing at all. | |
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| People that don't have~nor EVER want kids..what do you think?
Posted: 8/4/2007 5:24:18 PM | I agree with the above poster.
The state of the world, and my lack of faith in human beings has stopped me.
In all of human history, there are those in power, and obviously, those who
are not. And those who are not, seem to be, with my limited historical knowledge,
constantly abused. There's a saying "power abuses, absolute power abuses
absolutely"
So, I truly believe that as a species we're not evolved enough spiritually to
last much longer. Look at what we've done to the planet, over-population,
corporate raping, the insane amounts of pollutants shot into the air.
Women, for no reason having to have their breasts cut off because of
breast cancer, children with tumors????
What the hell.
Hell.
Actually, that's about it. Hell.
Watch a documentary called 'the corportation'....it's points out how most
CEO's are basically sociopaths.
Now look at George Bush and tell me, that guy isn't a sociopath. Cheney Definitely
is. They have literally, no regard, for human life. None.
Soooooo...with that in mind, and the fact that they have SO much power.
I will not be procreating. | |
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| People that don't have~nor EVER want kids..what do you think?
Posted: 8/4/2007 6:12:47 PM | I dont have kids of my own but I love them . I hope one day I will have but I appreciate people who decided not to have kids and people who want to have kids. The first ones because they know that they cannot handle parenthood or they want to see about their jobs and education and its fine .The second ones because they are ready to have kids,they know for sure and they are ready.
I dont like people who have kids because ....you should have kids, mom said will be good for you , we have everything lets have a kid and so on...Its also bad when people have kids by mistake and they dont take their job as a parent very serious.Man, I saw so many lifes destroyed.....
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| People that don't have~nor EVER want kids..what do you think?
Posted: 8/4/2007 6:15:39 PM | No kids. Don't want them, can't have them, can't stand to listen to them. I'd not be interested in a man with younger children.
You can think I'm a monster for not having maternal instincts, but when you're told you can't have them at age 19, you begin to loathe them since society (and people here, apparently) say you can't be a real woman unless you bear children. | |
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| People that don't have~nor EVER want kids..what do you think?
Posted: 8/4/2007 6:20:45 PM | I am one who has never had children because I never found a man that I would consider to be a good father. Not only that, my selfishness for being able to travel, to have a career that might take me away from a child, and being an only child has not given me a desire to bear a child. They're not bad and I'm sure that it is different when a child is your own. But I don't want one. I was a great step mother and would be a good step grand mother. However, at almost 40 yrs old, I think I'm a little past my prime and my birthing years are up. Besides, my house is very NOT child friendly and my friends understand to leave theirs at home. Sorry if that offends, but I like nice things and microfiber is not one of them.
Liz | |
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| People that don't have~nor EVER want kids..what do you think?
Posted: 8/4/2007 6:28:23 PM | | Cut the people some slack if they dont want kid they have a dam good reason, it could be alot of things maybe they were abusied as childeren and they are afraid they might turn out like their parents. or maybe to dont have good jobs and feel it would be a hardship on the childeren as they might not be able to provide the childeren like thier frainds famliys do. G I V E them credit as thier is alot kids running the streets and thier parents have know idea what they are up to till its to late or the kids are mistreated and they are put in foster homes. | |
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