| People that don't have~nor EVER want kids..what do you think?
Posted: 8/9/2007 9:25:44 PM | There are too many people with kids who shouldn't have them - abused, neglected, or even spoiled rotten (also not a good thing by the way). I don't want kids and yeah, maybe some people would call me selfish.
So what?
I'd rather be selfish and choose NOT to have kids, then be selfish and still have kids and not give them what they need/deserve.
You need a license to get a pet, but anyone can have a kid...I've worked as a crisis worker with kids in the past...there are enough screwed up kids in this world. We don't need anymore just cause someone didn't really want the kid in the first place and didn't know how to use birth control. | |
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| People that don't have~nor EVER want kids..what do you think?
Posted: 8/10/2007 5:33:18 AM | | I have never had children and I don’t know if I want any. My X-Wife had a son and I did a good job of raising him. I also don’t have kids because I have never found anybody I trusted enough to have them with. When a (responsible) man has kids he gives his life to them. I also had a friend who had 3 kids with his wife and he was working 2 jobs to support his family while she stayed at home and played with men on the internet. She found some guy out of state and bailed on him. She took the kids now my friend pays $2400 a month in child support and never sees his kids. Do I want to give somebody that much power over my life? Not today! | |
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| People that don't have~nor EVER want kids..what do you think?
Posted: 8/10/2007 12:07:15 PM | | Everyone always seems to think it's odd to meet a woman with no kids. I've known since I was a teenager that I probably would never have kids and if I did, I'd probably adopt. Didn't end up doing either. Love kids, love my nieces and nephews, love my friends' kids. Did the Big Sister thing, too, but never had a burning desire to give birth. | |
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| People that don't have~nor EVER want kids..what do you think?
Posted: 8/10/2007 12:13:57 PM | I have one in ON and was determined that I wanted no more until I dated a single mom of a toddler. I just fell in love her little girl( I always wanted one, lol) and now I'm much more open to the idea of having kids. NOT in a hurry to have them with the wrong person mind you.
I think sometimes people just need an awakening, it may never happen but it did for me and shifted my priorities big time. I don't know if I'll have more children but I've come to value them a lot more. | |
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| People that don't have~nor EVER want kids..what do you think?
Posted: 8/31/2007 5:36:47 PM |
Maybe it's just me, but, I find it sooooo hard to understand as to how some people can resist these beautiful little creatures. I also believe that we were put on this earth for the sole purpose of pro-creation...so it puzzles me when someone says they don't want children.
What are your veiws about people that choose not to have children? Do you think they are selfish? I really don't think they are selfish, but, how can they resist their most primal instinct...which is to pro-create?
Anyone that has made this choice..can you shed some light on this matter for me..care to share as to why you have chosen not to carry on your blood-line?
Well I think I'm a genetic miracle (ahem ahem), so it really is a crying shame that I'm probably (at 41) not going to be passing on my "blood-line" (LOL). I never actually decided "I don't want kids" but I did decide, when I was married, that there were certain conditions I wanted to exist before I DID have children, including being in a stable relationship with someone I wanted to have children with. This hasn't happened for me, and at this point I'm pretty reconciled to the idea that I'm getting a bit old to start a family.
I disagree, however, that we were put here for the "sole reason" of procreating, and I even question the idea that we have a "primal" instinct to reproduce. I think we have a primal urge to do the thing that causes procreation...and I agree that for some people that instinctive urge also exends to raising children. But it doesn't for everyone. I've never felt the kind of absolute desparation to have a child that has motivated some of my friends to go through IVF treatment, and I'm certainly not despondent in any way over the fact that I don't have a child. I've toyed with the idea of freezing my eggs, but my desire to have a child hasn't resulted in any serious contemplation of adoption or having and raising a child as single mother. Thus, I can only conclude that bearing children is, for me, not a "primal instinct."
Is this selfish of me? Maybe it is, but only to the extent that every decision I make about my life and what's best for me (and the people around me) is selfish. The fact that I don't have children doesn't harm anyone else, and I sometimes think that people who insist on having kids without first creating a lifestyle for themselves in which they can responsibly care for them are also quite selfish, to the detriment of more people than just themselves, and even their children. Bad parenting harms society...NOT having children doesn't, at least in this part of the world.
I do, however, enjoy my friends' children quite a lot, and I even love some of them very much. They are adorable but they aren't toys--they are a huge responsibility that IMO many many many people aren't prepared to really live up to no matter how many children they actually have. | |
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| People that don't have~nor EVER want kids..what do you think?
Posted: 8/31/2007 7:33:33 PM | | uhhh.......jesus christ this post is ridiculous. Believe it or not, but not every person on this earth thinks the same way as you. And you want kids, does that make you selfish for going after what you desire? I mean you only want them so far as to fulfill you own self desires, right? Is that not selfish? | |
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| People that don't have~nor EVER want kids..what do you think?
Posted: 8/31/2007 8:56:39 PM | I would only want a child if we were both interested in rearing it.
They cost too much and would get in my way as old as I am so I may never have any because my house is in no way child friendly.
To tell you the truth I haven't seen very many kids in my life that made a good impression - they are usually obnoxious, ill-mannered, and dumb. And baby pictures are not cute, sorry to all those parents that find a scum covered bloated ball of fat "beautiful". Diapers and baby powder stink too. I babysat plenty of times and the only perk I ever saw about kids was their comedy and it's easy to make them laugh or for them to break into dance. Otherwise, I don't know what fulfillment ppl get out of them. I don't feel the need to carry on my bloodline either, my brother will do that - he is obsessed with having a family. Plus, this world isn't getting any nicer - why bring a kid into it. | |
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| People that don't have~nor EVER want kids..what do you think?
Posted: 9/2/2007 10:49:12 AM | I was almost a stepfather, almost. But that was, what?, thirty-some years ago.
Lucky for me, (and her) I sent her packing, along with her kids.
Kids deserve loving parents who want them, and who can provide them a decent life.
In the same sense, marriage partners are deserving of a loving spouse, who will be a supportive and faithful, permanent partner.
For those of us without the desire or character traits to be a parent or spouse, we do ourselves and the world a favor, by staying single and childfree.
There is nothing selfless and noble about marrying or parenting, when we know that would be a poor decision. | |
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| People that don't have~nor EVER want kids..what do you think?
Posted: 9/2/2007 11:27:37 AM | | I think it's their choice. People have more to offer society than just adding to it by procreating, there are too many people who have kids when they aren't in an ideal position to support them (myself included!). I have 2 kids but i'd like to think i'm more than just a walking womb! | |
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| People that don't have~nor EVER want kids..what do you think?
Posted: 9/2/2007 2:17:04 PM |
I also believe that we were put on this earth for the sole purpose of pro-creation.
So the sole purpose life has is to produce little copies of oneself who in turn only have one purpose namely to produce little copies of themselves who in turn............
Two questions spring to mind:
1) Whats the point ?
2) Is your life really so empty that you think there cannot possibly be any other purpose to it ?
Do you think they are selfish?
I dont think we are selfish
Niether do I think those who DO choose to have kids selfish (well not all of them anyway)
The only people I DO think are selfish are those who are always demanding to know "why isint everybody else in the world like me" | |
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| People that don't have~nor EVER want kids..what do you think?
Posted: 9/2/2007 3:57:28 PM | | Maybe in the beginning we were put on this earth to procreate. Damn, in china people are persecuted for having more than one child. This is not the same world as when the Bible was written many thousands of years ago. The world is a troubled place today, and definitely over-populated. I think the selfish people are the ones who have children and cannot afford them. It takes a lot of moolah to raise children today. Also, there are so many awful things in the world that a child has to be exposed to today. The days of Leave It To Beaver are long gone. My son is 33 and his wife is 40. They have two wonderful careers and a beautiful golden retreiver. She is a nurse who helps people all day long in the emergency room of a large hospital in New England. They do not wish to have children. It is not because they are selfish. They both help people all day long. They just do not want to bring a child into this mixed up crazy world. I do not blame them. Children are so cute when they are young. Puppies and kittens are cute when they are young. They grow up. You have to be prepared to have thousands of dollars just to send them to a good university. It costs thousands and thousands to get a child to the ripe old age of eighteen today. I would much rather think that a person who has children just because they think they are cute is the selfish person. | |
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| People that don't have~nor EVER want kids..what do you think?
Posted: 9/3/2007 4:11:30 PM | I've had all the kids that I need . . they're Wonderful..!!
{And..I was Scared S*****ss when I had Them . . !!! }
My patience with child-rearing has long-since been exhausted . .
I want to concentrate on making my Partner happy , and Proud to have Me as a Partner . . !!! . .  | |
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| People that don't have~nor EVER want kids..what do you think?
Posted: 9/3/2007 4:18:49 PM | Not everyone is placed on this earth to procreate. Heck, there are those that SHOULD NOT be procreating period! And then you have those that do and abuse them! So go figure that one out.
Things have changed since yester-year some women are more career-driven and don't wish to have them. If this is the case and they are conscious of the pros and cons, then by all means don't bring children in to this world.
I had a man from this site state "YUCK, children - I don't want them" I almost fell off my chair at the bizarre word associated with having children "YUCK". I don't get it.
I'm on the fence about having them. If I meet someone and it happens (mutual choice) fine, but if not it is not the end of the world for me. I would much rather not have them than to bring them into this world to a dysfunctional environment.
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| People that don't have~nor EVER want kids..what do you think?
Posted: 9/3/2007 4:35:12 PM | I appreciate the sarcasm thats evident....but still...the most insane philosophy ever..
That was actually one of the sanest, most rational philosophies I've ever heard for not having a baby. Particularly the first part about choosing to go through the misery that is inevitable with each step from childbirth to adulthood and beyond. That's a philosophy with some thoughtful consideration behind it.
Insanity is choosing to have a baby (or letting it accidentally happen) without thinking about the consequences and possibilities - or choosing to have a baby after having thought about the consequences and possibilities. You truly do have to be insane, at least just for a moment, to procreate.
Who in their right mind would choose to have a child? Fifty to 60% of marriages end in divorce, huge numbers are passing down their inherited personality disorders and resulting family drama, the median household income isn't all that higher than poverty level, and only a small percentage of children born will get the "luxury" of a two-parent household with healthy stable people who have the ability or commitment to be good parents, and teach their children how to be well-adjusted adults and responsible citizens.
When you have all the facts and statistics and see the odds against raising a healthy family, why do so many people blindly "go for it?" Realistically only a small fraction of the child-bearing age adult US population has any business starting a family. But unfortunately that small percentage holds back on children because they're putting deep thought into it. Everyone else, the young and poor and mentally ill and immature and selfish and under-educated, breed like they were animals.
Yeah, not wanting to procreate is pretty insane, huh? | |
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| People that don't have~nor EVER want kids..what do you think?
Posted: 9/3/2007 4:46:53 PM | There is absolutely NOT one thing wrong with not wanting to have kids. Whats wrong is having kids and not taking care of them. I have one child and I adore her, but thats me. My sister has 6 kids and she adores them. My brother has no kids and thats his choice, he's happy with his choice as we are with ours. What was the ? again... | |
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GEOSC
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Joined: 7/11/2007
Msg: 272 | |
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| People that don't have~nor EVER want kids..what do you think?
Posted: 9/3/2007 6:40:04 PM | | Sweety its not always like that... I have a very wonderful friend that tryed 3times to have a child and all 3 times the babies died second trimester... her wonds are deep and even around my children you can see the hurt in her eyes and just easier to avoid.. then theres us "older" singles that already raised ours and dont really want to start over again. and take it from a single parent, its hard enough then try when your children are older, then they feel like your replacing the missing parent and can very easily complicate a new relationship! Bless your children cause they are a blessing to you but look deeper not all are selfish reasons. | |
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| People that don't have~nor EVER want kids..what do you think?
Posted: 9/3/2007 6:51:14 PM | I think having children or not is a personal decision and no one has the right to make that person feel that they have to. I am now a single parent with 3 kids and sometimes it is stressful, I have an angry ex to deal with. But I do love my kids and wouldn't trade them in for anything.
Parenting is not for everyone, my real mother left when I was 2, she should never have had kids, glad i am here though.
Not everyone is up for the financial/emotional responsibility of children and I applaud them for recognizing this. Look at all the children in the world who are abandoned, abused, those people should never have had kids, but did. | |
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