| People that don't have~nor EVER want kids..what do you think?
Posted: 8/26/2005 12:23:27 PM | @ jestme:
I really wish someone would explain to me why they want children. Some going to great lengths to make it happnen, sometimes spending huge sums of money. I really don't understand it at all.
For me it is simple...when I remenice of the times that have been spent with my children...holding them in my arms for a 2:00am feeding...calming their fears in the middle of the night..watching with pride as they grow into adulthood...A kiss on the cheek when i am feeling down....or a simple "Hey mom, look what i can do"!! I know why I had them. Hell..I could also be labelled as being selfish...I wanted them..I needed them..I had them, regardless of the state that the world in presently in. But, I do know one thing....I could never imagine my life without them.   | |
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Lukon
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Joined: 8/3/2005
Msg: 29 | |
| People that don't have~nor EVER want kids..what do you think?
Posted: 8/26/2005 1:10:36 PM | First of all, I actually do want kids, though I have to accept the possibility that it will not happen. Why you ask? Because I won't do it until I am reasonably certain that I have the right partner, and that we can do a decent job at it.
I respect those who feel they don't want children, but never say "never." They could easily change their minds and become great parents. It's easy to change your mind and decide to have children. It's not so easy or ok to change your mind after having them.
The 'Traditional Christian' perspective on reproduction annoys the crap out of me. Neither Jesus, nor any of his original disciples fathered any children during his ministry on earth, and if you don't think they had sex, you haven't actually read scripture. Are you suggesting that there was no purpose to Jesus' life on earth, or those of his disciples because they did not reproduce?
I think it's great that you're opening this dialogue and seeking to broaden your perspective; this could turn into quite an adventure. | |
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| People that don't have~nor EVER want kids..what do you think?
Posted: 8/26/2005 1:26:24 PM | Each to their own. Why should they have kids if they don't want them. Maybe a kid is better off if they don't have, are raise them. Better not force a kid on someone that don't want one, are the kid might pay for it. Leave this one alone.
Me I have kids. I didn't plan on it, it just happened and I am fine with it. I love my kids, and think kids are people to. Just some people are better off not having any. For what ever reason. Don't try to understand it. It is what it is, and its their way of life, and it hurts noone. If they kill a baby growing inside of them, thats different, God can deal with that, not my call. Not something I would do, but thats just me, myself, and I. | |
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| People that don't have~nor EVER want kids..what do you think?
Posted: 8/26/2005 2:56:02 PM |
I have met a lot of people (guys and gals), that state that they don't have..nor do they EVER want children
Could you please point the women you meet who feel like that my way? I sure have a hell of a time finding them.  | |
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| People that don't have~nor EVER want kids..what do you think?
Posted: 8/26/2005 3:18:44 PM | | thecatt made a very good point about people not wanting to do a lot of things. i believe that God gave us all a talent. some people like to travel, some like having children and so on. there are a lot of things that people are good at and enjoy doing them, cause this is the gift that God has given them. | |
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| People that don't have~nor EVER want kids..what do you think?
Posted: 8/26/2005 3:56:54 PM | | I would hope that any couple or individual's decision to not have children would be theirs and theirs alone. I would hope they would have courage to resist any pressure from family or society to bear children just because someone else wants or expects it from them. I have a married son who is 26. They have both said they don't want kids, ever. I support them fully on that and said well, you guys do whatever is best for you and don't think I'm gonna pressure you to have kids for me!! My DIL's last job she worked with child welfare agency and had to take care of kids pretty much all the time. SHe said I don't know how you raised four all by yourself, I only have to take care of a few for a few hours a day and it's exhausting. Of course, they aren't HER kids, but I do tell them I'll never pressure them for a grandchild. I think that's extremely selfish. And I tell them that I'm prouder for them for making a decision of what's best for themselves than to cave in just because of what anyone else says. Their friends are all married and getting married and popping out babies like crazy. I don't know if they're getting pressure to have a child, but if they are it certainly isn't coming from me. | |
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| People that don't have~nor EVER want kids..what do you think?
Posted: 8/26/2005 4:11:32 PM |
how does a man raise a woman?
^^^ with the same love, care and attention that a mother raises a son. Men are just as capable of raising girls to women, as they are boys to men. There is nothing like the fierce devotion and protection of a dad towards his daughter, and the same applies from a mother to her son...not to say that it's any different if the dad raises a son or woman raises a daughter...but each of these relationships are special on their own....and I think that single parenthood puts you in the all encompassing role of having to be a little of both at different times... it's all good for you... it opens your world and your eyes to blight of both males and females... | |
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| People that don't have~nor EVER want kids..what do you think?
Posted: 8/26/2005 4:24:51 PM | I used to be one of those "never wanted children", until I found myself pregnant at the age of 20. (whoops!!) I also have a married girlfriend, and she and her husband do not wish to have children. She LOVES kids, (she's an elementary school teacher) but having kids of her own just never appealed to her. Perhaps she'll change her mind down the road, perhaps not...
I DEFINITELY do not believe our sole purpose on this earth is to procreate!!!! If that were true, what of the people that cannot have children due to fertility issues? Does that mean they don't have a purpose? | |
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| People that don't have~nor EVER want kids..what do you think?
Posted: 8/26/2005 4:37:42 PM | I see many reasons for not wanting kids. The NEED to procreate was driven by people living on farms and needing labor - not the case today. Also, precious little creatures don't always become valuable big creatures. For example, they might wait until their widowed mother is helpless in a nursing home and then decide to rob her blind.
And then of course we are FORCED to care for all the countless children born in this country whose parents slithered through our poorly-guarded borders, and who certainly can't afford to care for all the children they produce. Many alien children raised in our country may grow up wanting to destroy it, by becoming suicide bombers; talk about a waste of money!! Then we have many welfare mothers who's precious little creatures we have to support and watch become gang members, and are forced to continue to support them while they're in prison.
Sadly, our country's drowning itself by accommodating all of the undeserving with all of their costly special needs. Who can afford their own children anymore? | |
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| People that don't have~nor EVER want kids..what do you think?
Posted: 8/26/2005 5:00:35 PM | | Well unfortnately I was never able to have children, and I never found out why. At the time I was married ,my husband and I were raiseing his two daughters...and even though I would of loved to have my own....I left in gods hands...plus we really didn't have the money for another in our family....I have accepted that I will never have my own children, but I have always had children in my life...and loved them all...nices & nephews and step daughters... | |
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| People that don't have~nor EVER want kids..what do you think?
Posted: 8/26/2005 5:10:00 PM | I was wondering if most you have noticed that a great majority of women working in the field of child care and school teaching don't want children. It is as if they see children of one particular age and get pretty sick of it (can't take your job home and love it after a hellish day). At least that is what I have heard from some that are operating day care centers and I also see a pattern with grade school teachers and nurses as well. So if you don't want offspring get into those trades or professions. Office workers on than other hand seem to be the breeders .......administration, filers, H.R. types etc....
Just an observation.
Anyway have a good weekend folks. | |
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| People that don't have~nor EVER want kids..what do you think?
Posted: 8/27/2005 9:46:29 AM | justme:
heavenscherubangel: Now that I have them, I can't imagine life without them. However if i had been told at a young age, I couldn't have children, I would have danced naked with joy in the streets.
LOL..know where your comin' from!! i WAS told that after my daughter, I could not have any more children. 10 years later..BOOM...BOOM...2 sons, 11 months apart. Big guy upstairs has a real sense of humor!! | |
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| People that don't have~nor EVER want kids..what do you think?
Posted: 8/27/2005 9:54:31 AM | @ Lukan:
Are you suggesting that there was no purpose to Jesus' life on earth, or those of his disciples because they did not reproduce?
No..not at all. I am simply relaying what I was taught..not what I now, as an adult, believe...enormous difference. I know of many people (in my home-town) that are extremely productive members of society, that do not have children. Stands to reason...they have a lot more time on their hands, than those that do have children. I have been doubting some of what I had been taught...and I have seen many wise people in these forums. So, in the future, you all may be faced with more of my inquisitive threads...Plzzzz bare with me..LOL.
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| People that don't have~nor EVER want kids..what do you think?
Posted: 8/27/2005 10:18:40 AM | If we were put here for the sole purpose of pro-creation, I highly doubt we'd have been given the capacity to gather other skills or have other wants and desires.
Not everyone wants to saddle themselves with someone small and dependent for 18 years (or more). Some people like their freedom, void of desperate sitter hunts and massive debts that come with raising families.
Thankfully, those folks who feel breeding is our sole purpose for being don't get to decide for everyone. | |
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| People that don't have~nor EVER want kids..what do you think?
Posted: 8/27/2005 10:20:25 AM | @myfakename:
I don't see how people want kids. Get a dog.
Are you saying a dog is simular to a child? If so, that's just plain silly. Yes, I have a dog and he is like a member of the family...but a dog certainly could never replace the love of a child. Where would you be if your mother and father chose a dog? certainly not here... | |
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| People that don't have~nor EVER want kids..what do you think?
Posted: 8/27/2005 10:29:47 AM | @bucsgirl:
Their friends are all married and getting married and popping out babies like crazy. I don't know if they're getting pressure to have a child, but if they are it certainly isn't coming from me
I have read, more than likely, almost every post you have made. You are one of the many person's opinions that I value. I am pretty sure that your son and his wife will get the "So, when are you guys going to start your family"? question. For you to fully support their decision is very admirable, as many would feel "cheated" (for lack of a better word) out of their so called "right" to be a grandparent.  | |
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| People that don't have~nor EVER want kids..what do you think?
Posted: 8/27/2005 12:39:55 PM | | heavens Thanks for the kind words. I'm sure they've maybe heard it from their friends. Being a grandparent is a privilege not a right, having a child is the same. I have 3 other children so more than likely I will be a grandmother someday. It's not something I'm longing for, but I'm sure I'll enjoy it when and if it happens. I want my kids to do what's best for THEM and be happy, a parent's happiness is in their children being happy and when they are, I get no greater pleasure than that. | |
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| People that don't have~nor EVER want kids..what do you think?
Posted: 8/27/2005 12:57:57 PM | Hey
I don't think I ever want Biological children.. and it's a long drawn out explanation as to why.. to put it simply.. some people are born with "Chemical Imbalances"
I am BiPolar.. and in no way, shape or form would I ever want to subject a child to the hell I went through growing up!
After 25 years of misdiagnosis.. being bounced from this wrong medication to the next.. I just don't see how I could bring a child into a world that is already cruel.. and possibly put them through that hell.
In this day and age.. growing up is hard enough..
Don't get me wrong.. I completely and utterly love children.. and granted.. I am positive if the Right Man did come along.. with his support we could raise a family no problem.. and who even know's if My/Our children would be BiPolar? It tends to skip a generation at times.. but at this present time.. I don't see it as a risk I am willing to take..
There are many children out there.. with no one to love them.. sitting in the "System" until they reach the age of majority.. who will be shuffled off to provide for themselves once they do hit it..
I think I'd rather Adopt!
As for my parents going without Grandchildren.. there is nothing stopping them from adopting a child.. I would be more than willing to assist with the child in everyway, shape and form!
Shells | |
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