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| People that don't have~nor EVER want kids..what do you think?
Posted: 8/27/2005 1:08:46 PM | | I like people who are considerate of the whole earth in their decisions. AT 6 billion and growing everyday the world is WAY TOO OVERPOPULATED. I believe life is very precious, and therefore, Earthlings shouldnt be so casual about procreating. No Money+ No Job+No Education = NO BABIES! | |
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| People that don't have~nor EVER want kids..what do you think?
Posted: 8/27/2005 1:09:42 PM | | Not EVERYONE was put here to procreate. As far as the "beautiful little creatures" description...they are beautiful when they are babies, but has anyone else ever had the experience of watching brats running around rampant in America? I have issues with the way parents are raising these beautiful little creatures. What can I say...my life has gone to the dogs! lol | |
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| People that don't have~nor EVER want kids..what do you think?
Posted: 8/27/2005 1:13:18 PM | | Yeah Sharon! (would I agree with a dude posting that... I dont know???). Anybody with a Pemis and a Pushy can procreate, that was ok in prehistoric times when sabertooth tigers outnumber us 2:1, but now we outnumber tigers 1,000,000 to 1. That is so sad, I am proud to say I care for the Earth and our childrens future, I have just one child. | |
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| People that don't have~nor EVER want kids..what do you think?
Posted: 8/27/2005 1:20:42 PM | Hey Shells!!
Another whose opinion I value!! Have not seen ya in the forums..thought u skipped town!! 
After 25 years of misdiagnosis.. being bounced from this wrong medication to the next.. I just don't see how I could bring a child into a world that is already cruel.. and possibly put them through that hell.
Sad..but true. The world today really makes one think "What the hell am I doing? How could I even think of bringing a life into this wacked out world? Gad..these forums suck...thinkin' constantly now..LMAO
Realllllly sorry to hear about your condision Shells...and I do (from experiance) know where you are coming from. I have an ADD child, and the challenges that he meets, on a daily basis, are sometimes over-whelming for him (k...me too..lol). But, I would not change anything in regards to my son. One learns to live with whatever is thrown their way. In fact I believe it can actually make you stronger.
Best wishes to ya..nice to hear that you are doing better!!  | |
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| People that don't have~nor EVER want kids..what do you think?
Posted: 8/27/2005 1:40:19 PM | @sharon1968:
Not EVERYONE was put here to procreate. As far as the "beautiful little creatures" description...they are beautiful when they are babies, but has anyone else ever had the experience of watching brats running around rampant in America? I have issues with the way parents are raising these beautiful little creatures. What can I say...my life has gone to the dogs! lol
'Tis true..maybe not all people are put here to pro-create. Maybe they were put here to serve as role models, mentors and examples...be it bad or good.
But, I beg to differ with you on your statement that they are "beautiful little creatures" while they are babies..but not once they start to develop into the person that they will forever be.
Not all children are horrible little time consumers you know. Also, IF you do decide in the future to have children, you may very well find that it is not always possible to control "bad-ass children"..no matter what you try..hope this does not happen to you (I am sincere in saying that..as I have been there..resolved now..but been there).
I thought my children were "beautiful little creatures" then and I think that they are even MORE beautilful now. | |
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| People that don't have~nor EVER want kids..what do you think?
Posted: 8/27/2005 1:58:42 PM | | Had some children, wouldn't trade that experience for anything. I was young. I could just have satisfyingly adopted children. I don't think I'd love them less because they were biological or not. I appreciate folks who choose to not have children for a variety of reasons. It's actually a very responsible thing to do. 25 year projections of the world population unchecked are disastrous. We really don't need them to work the farm any more. They on the plus side do cause you to mature and not be as selfish. But not everyone is just cut out for parenthood. Once a child is born it's forever. Sadly as someone very aptly spelled out there are so many institutions just flush with troubled violent youth. It's a revolving door approach that is funded backwards, instead of funding headstart and other programs that would teach children the perils of children having children we build jails. And more jails. Not to say that all children will fall into these divisions but the likelihood of overpopulation increases the statistics. I really enjoy kids, taught scouts, coached ball, camped hiked fished and still do but you can't work with all of them. How sad, how very sad. My primal instinct is to mate yes, but education has instructed me that I need not have a child with each intercourse. Of course too soon old and too late smart, I'd not wish mine away nor sway someone from the joy they bring. Simply I'd offer the wisdom of the day in which we live. | |
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| People that don't have~nor EVER want kids..what do you think?
Posted: 8/27/2005 2:10:56 PM | I personally do not believe it is selfishness on most peoples part to not want to have children..figuratively speaking, it could be due to cost, time vs. career, between the hospital fees, or adoption, or intro-vitro becoming so costly, some woman can not afford it. I always wanted children-I had step-children at one time. I was uanable to concieve my own unfortuantely-this does not make me a selfish person.. Heck since my hubby died eons ago, I have been mother to three nephews- four nieces- and their children, I have had temp custody of children in the past when the mother was unfit and the father incarcerated. I have also loved and adored my friends children. Now as I look back at that dream of wanting a whole baseball team to keep our bloodline going-I do not have regrets of not having any-and I would cherish and love a baby right now if God were to put it in my arms to cradle... | |
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| People that don't have~nor EVER want kids..what do you think?
Posted: 8/27/2005 2:36:12 PM |
No Money+ No Job+No Education = NO BABIES!
FishBill..
Sadly that forumla
No Money+ No Job+No Education = BABIES
As Well..
Due to lack of Education.. Money and the Comforts of a Job..
People feel a sense of worthlessness and use sex.. or what they believe to be love to fill the gap..
Sad but true!
Shells | |
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| People that don't have~nor EVER want kids..what do you think?
Posted: 8/27/2005 2:43:15 PM | I knew when I was a little girl that I wouldn't have children and I have never waivered from that feeling. I have never felt those maternal instincts.
I was shopping with a friend when a baby nearby began crying. She said that it made her want to go over and comfort it. I said that I felt like screaming at it to shut up..We just kinda looked at eachother, blinking and saying nothing for a few minutes. Never again did we speak of the crying baby incident. I think that it unsettled her.
SOOOOO....I'm obviously one of the ones that might not make such a good parent. I freely admit that I hate noise, and that alone would overshadow any good thing that could come of being a parent for me.
Oh, and we were rotten kids. In retrospect, we sucked the life out of my mother daily. I'm terrified of paybacks. | |
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| People that don't have~nor EVER want kids..what do you think?
Posted: 8/27/2005 2:43:27 PM | I think anyone who is not ready to be a parent should not have kids .. period.
I've seen way too many kids messed up by parents who only had kids by accident or because of some percieved social obligation.
Young people need better education and access to birth control. I recently spoke to a 13 year old girl after her most recent pregnancy scare. This girls mother thought it *looked good on her*. This kid is (at the moment) beyond help. Giving her birth control may not be educating her (aids, std's, self respect and on and on) but at least she won't be having baby after baby until she learns the hard way (too little too late usually) and propogating the cycle in the same the way her own parents did.
Everyone else needs to realistically site back and quit with the social commentary. I know people who had genetic disorders, yet they had children knowing they could pass it to their kids (propogating disability, but it's worth it to carry on the family name?!?!?!?). I know people who had no interest in having kids (hated kids in fact) but they let themselves be talked into it by friends and family (every man should have a son and heir...).
More people have kids because of accidents or social obligation than most people realize. When you see an out of control child with no moral and social values, you're probably seeing a kid who was either an accident or an obligation. We need to quit pressuring people into becoming substandard parents. | |
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| People that don't have~nor EVER want kids..what do you think?
Posted: 8/27/2005 3:23:29 PM | From the time I was a kid, I knew I probably didn't want kids. In contrast to the OP, I could never understand how any woman would want to get pregnant, go through that misery, then have an infant, go through that misery, then have a rugrat, go through that misery, then have a precocious adolescent, go through that misery, then have a teenager go through that misery, all in the hopes that they don't end up in jail, in the morgue, on the street, or in a trailer park, or least of all, in law school. The last thing the world needs is another lawyer!
Once you have a kid, you must love it with all your might and sacrifice everything. Once you have it. But before the fait accomplis? Why would you want one?
From my perspective, it's insanity.
You want something cute and cuddly to love? Visit the humane society.
And don't worry about procreating the species. We have many countries doing enough for all of us. You can sit back and relax. | |
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| People that don't have~nor EVER want kids..what do you think?
Posted: 8/27/2005 5:17:01 PM |
From the time I was a kid, I knew I probably didn't want kids. In contrast to the OP, I could never understand how any woman would want to get pregnant, go through that misery, then have an infant, go through that misery, then have a rugrat, go through that misery, then have a precocious adolescent, go through that misery, then have a teenager go through that misery, all in the hopes that they don't end up in jail, in the morgue, on the street, or in a trailer park, or least of all, in law school. The last thing the world needs is another lawyer!
Once you have a kid, you must love it with all your might and sacrifice everything. Once you have it. But before the fait accomplis? Why would you want one?
From my perspective, it's insanity.
You want something cute and cuddly to love? Visit the humane society.
And don't worry about procreating the species. We have many countries doing enough for all of us. You can sit back and relax.
I appreciate the sarcasm thats evident....but still...the most insane philosophy ever.. | |
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| People that don't have~nor EVER want kids..what do you think?
Posted: 8/27/2005 6:04:22 PM | I have chosen not to have children, and am OK with that decision. The end result has become a blessing to me, in ways that a parent might not get. In saying that, I do have profound respect for those of you who have chosen to invest your life into bringing children into the world. That is no easy task.
So, why choose not to? Well, I have certain liberties in my life that others my age do not; those who have chosen to go down the road of parenting. I can pick up and leave on a whim, I can buy the latest toy, I can sleep in until noon on the weekends, etc. I can go back to college/university full time! I can bounce toddlers on my knee and tell them stories, handing them off to their parents when the whining starts. lol
Don't get me wrong, I love the little critters warts and all. I take great pride and pleasure in being an aunt and friend to the children that have come into my life. I sponsor a child through CCF. I am considering become a "Big Sister" when I'm finished my college courses. I also turn into a babbling idiot when a baby is presented to me, "Goo-gooing" with the best of them.
I have been able to form unique relationships with many children/young adults in my life. For instance, I am seen as a confidant to teenagers, not a threat to their individualism. So, I get their enthusiasm not their sullen rebellions. I can nurture the connection with my nieces and nephews and take pleasure or sorrow in all that befalls them, without feeling responsible for it.
So, as you can see, my maternal instincts are still alive and well. However, I've channelled them into other areas of my life, and have found that quite satisfying. For me, the freedom of remaining childless has been a boon. It has allowed me to explore what I want in my own life without being tied down with parenting responsibilities.
In saying that, I would not shy away from dating someone with children. I don't believe in parenting someone else's children. Most children have a set of parents already. I would of course, provide protection and love, but leave the rest to mom and dad.
There you go, a scattering of ideas into this woman's reality. lol | |
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| People that don't have~nor EVER want kids..what do you think?
Posted: 8/27/2005 6:59:10 PM | I really think each to their own on this one. Yes children are gorgeous but they are a full time 24/7 job to look after them properly. I think its better who feel they might not be able to give a children their utmust, and by that I mean, they genuinely spiritually dont feel ready for it, to feel free to excersie that right. As much as it is your right to have children, its other peoples right not to
To answer the question of why not, heaven, as one who made that decision, it simply isnt there for me, that urge that you speak of, to the degree you speak of. I do enjoy children, relating to them, having fun with them, seeing the world through their eyes as all magical and new, but I cant say I met someone who I felt safe and secure enough to raise a child with, because I have seen and experienced through my friends what a HUGE job it is [ hats off to all the parents out there] . And I definitely didnt want to be one of those people who just grabbed the first guy/gal that came along in order to fulfil that primal urge. Which Ive seen happen. Ive seen perfectly good men and women "settle" for mrms almost, just because they wanted to have kids and felt at a certain age, they were getting too old [ this was like at 27 which blew me away - however]. While I do believe you do, what you gotta do, that just wasnt for me | |
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| People that don't have~nor EVER want kids..what do you think?
Posted: 8/27/2005 9:08:25 PM | I feel the same, I have never wanted children - also never had that "feeling" that I just had to have a child. Do I feel bad about it? Well, some ppl have made me feel that way (you don't want kids? why not?) like there is something wrong with me. I, however, have come to terms with that and feel that my decision was the right one. I enjoy my freedom - does that make me selfish? Perhaps. But at least I recognize it.
I like kids, people have told me they think I would be a great mother, however, I like the fact that I can "give them back" when I want to, the life-long comittment is too much for me.
I have never mis-represented myself on that either - it says in my profile, I don't have and don't want kids, and it's come up in conversation with men that I'm dating...unfortunately, my ex-b/f thought he would change my mind...that didn't happen, and that's why he's my ex.
Anyway, I have great fun with my niece and I have two more babies on the way from my two sisters-in-law and I can't wait! (aside from the fact that I love shopping for kid stuff) :)
Just one other thing, I'm Catholic as well, and I don't see that it has any bearing on my decision to not have kids. I think most religions preach having kids, but it doesn't really have the same meaning in today's world as it used to. | |
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| People that don't have~nor EVER want kids..what do you think?
Posted: 8/27/2005 9:20:50 PM |
People that don't have~nor EVER want kids..
My sister's kind of like this, and she's into her 40's....but has always had steady relationships, has lots of friends, tonnes of interests/hobbies, and is one of the nicest people on Earth.
Some people have kids, some do not. That's the way it is. No more, no less. | |
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| People that don't have~nor EVER want kids..what do you think?
Posted: 8/28/2005 4:21:41 AM | What a great thread!
I agree with a lot of the people here who say that not everyone should have kids just because it's what they're "supposed to do". Look at all these poor innocent kids who are abandoned, abused, neglected, and even killed by their parents every day. And then there are the kids having kids. The teens going out and trying to get pregnant on purpose just to have something to cuddle with. I think every prospective parent (man and woman) should take home one of those little robot babies for a couple of weeks just to make sure they can handle it.
However, I don't think I would ever date someone who didn't eventually want kids. I am an extremely maternal person and absolutely want children (my own or adopted) some day. It's funny I just had this conversation with someone earlier tonight. | |
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| People that don't have~nor EVER want kids..what do you think?
Posted: 8/28/2005 4:35:52 AM | | Being a unprepared parent i will say i understand why some people dont want kids. BUT i do remember my son being born and it being one of the greatest days of my life. I would never regret having him. I would love to have more kids and I think the people who dont want kids only think about the fact of how much they cost and not the love they can bring out of you. Kids can bring out the best in you....its like you find a love you never knew you had. I can understand both sides I just dont understand why people can just say "i dont want kids" and most of the time its money wise......if you think about it it would be kind of harsh for your parents to have said "i didnt want this kid because he cost to much" you'd be kind of hurt and yeah i know you are already born but think about the babys to be....its they same thing..... | |
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| People that don't have~nor EVER want kids..what do you think?
Posted: 8/28/2005 6:11:05 AM | Ouch....I'm glad our parents didn't forsee parenthood as you do....of course to each his own...I spent a marriage not wanting children with HIM, and now regret at my age that I have never and will probably never have the experience. I can only assume you have never had a newborn grab your hand or an infant snuggle into your chest with their sweet warm breath upon your skin....their insatiable dependance upon you....the first time you enter a room and they smirk a baby smile of recognition..when they reach for YOU...Easy..No..my single parent friends remind me of the hell they can put you through....but ask any of them and they would never regret one single moment they have had with their children. I envy that life long ,completely whole love that they share. I haven't given up the desire, nor the hope, but you are correct that it isn't for everyone and those that are steadfast against the notion of parenting are probably better off never taking the plunge!! I like to read other people's views though but of course being a femme had to add my 2 cents worth!
Cheers
Muffett | |
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| People that don't have~nor EVER want kids..what do you think?
Posted: 8/28/2005 6:24:48 AM |
I also believe that we were put on this earth for the sole purpose of pro-creation..
So what are you saying is we humans should be no diff then jack rabbits?
Human beings have a free will to choose what they want to do in life for a reason or else we too would be no diff then animals that have to reily on instinct.
Free will is based on choices and like everything else you can choose to have childern in life or not, that is your "choice" to make like everything else you do in this life. | |
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| People that don't have~nor EVER want kids..what do you think?
Posted: 8/28/2005 2:48:25 PM | @scream1969:
Could you please point the women you meet who feel like that my way? I sure have a hell of a time finding them.
LMAO..here you go scream. Iv'e brought out all the gorgeous ladies that don't want to have children for ya. So, bait up yer hook and start castin'...Good luck!!  | |
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