| People that don't have~nor EVER want kids..what do you think?
Posted: 12/12/2005 3:47:07 AM | If i'd of known way back before i had kids what i know now i don't think i would have kids,not in todays society,it's not the same as when were kids,kids today are disrespectful,rude and can get away with just about anything,and no it's not all in the way you raise them either,it's our society in general,everything is done for them, like computers,video games etc etc,there is nothing left for the imagination.
Wow, I wonder how common this sentiment is today? My sons are all nineteen or over now and they are all decent people. I've thought recently though that I'm glad I'm not raising kids today. In general, I think your points are true: that kids today, not all of them but many more than ever, like the rest of the world, are more rude and disrespectful than at any time in recent memory.
Some of it is to be blamed on irresponsible parents. But a great deal can be blamed on "our society in general". The most responsible and well meaning of parents are somewhat hogtied. It seems you can't even lovingly discipline children anymore. In addition, they are constantly bombarded through the internet and the entertainment and other media with images of violence, pornography, vulgarity and coarse, rude behaviour of every sort. In the movies and television, catering almost always to the lowest common denominator and ruled almost exclusively by the profit motive, the "villains", ie, gangsters, pimps and the like have become "heros". Young boys watch the swaggering, vulgar loudmouths of "WWF" and pattern themselves after them. No wonder so many of them are becoming foulmouthed bullies. Young women have no shortage of highly questionable role models either, eg, "Girls Gone Wild". Messages contained in the "lyrics" of so much popular music is another culprit. Did you ever check out the words of the entertainment world's darling, "white rapper" Eminem, that children are listening to these days -- "songs" (loosely used term!) about having his friends over to have "fun" with his little sister and much worse?
I do feel sorry for decent parents trying to raise decent children in a society that all too often seems to have forgotten the meaning of the word. | |
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| People that don't have~nor EVER want kids..what do you think?
Posted: 12/12/2005 4:04:30 AM | ^^^^^ i agree with you art it is very difficult to raise kids in todays society ...Somedays when my son is out of hand oh how i'd like to give him a good old fashion spanking (never did me any harm probably made me a better person) but we can't do that it really isn't right to be told how to raise your child,yes theres parents who abuse there kids and push the limits those are not the ones i am referring to,i am talking about the decent parents who only want to raise decent kids,the ones who want to show there kids to have respect for others ....i'll give you an example last winter my son who loves to walk on snow banks walked on my neighbours who had just shoveled his driveway my son knock a chunk of snow down onto his driveway,i made him go back and shovel it up,my neighbour was shocked and appricated the fact that i took the time to show my son to respect others property......
Gayle
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| People that don't have~nor EVER want kids..what do you think?
Posted: 12/12/2005 10:46:00 AM | The information that I didn't include in previous points that may give some insight into my view of "today's kids" is that I am an adolescent drug and alcohol counselor, so I see many of the children who you are talking about. I know that society has created some monsters, but I firmly believe that most times it is lack of parenting skills and or attention that has perpetuated them. However, this too often translates to societal values and morals, or lack thereof. I firmly believe (and will hold to this) that there are very few "bad" kids, but many parents who are ineffective in parenting. More often than not, the teens that I deal with have either been "overparented" (protected to a point where they have not been allowed to make any decisions for themselves or have not had to face any consequences) or "underparented" (they have basically raised themselves). Very rarely (although it does happen) do I see a kid who has been parented with firmness and leniency, in combined and moderate levels...coincidence, I think not.
As far as my desire to not procreate and create a "mini-me", in having raised a daughter who is very much mine...even though not biological...she is as much me as I am, for she carries all the values, morals, sense of humor and insight that I raised her with...I am extremely proud of her and am thankful every day for the chance to have her in my life.
And, essentially, I am raising 25-30 kids at a time as they appear on my caseload, I just get to go home at night...while they return to their respective homes. Do I always leave work at work? Well, I try to, but these "kids" who are my "work" are very much with me all the time as I struggle to find effective ways to assist them in becoming productive members of society able to make decisions and choices best for them and best for society in general.
Enuf said | |
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| People that don't have~nor EVER want kids..what do you think?
Posted: 12/12/2005 11:21:26 AM | | I have decided not to have kids, because of my own insecurities. I'm just too afraid of having a child and then losing a child to a accidental death or sickness. The world is a crazy place, and you never know what is going to happen. I could lose my child to someone else's child or a perverted creep, at school or even at play. There are so many parents that already don't care for their children, that I don't want to take the risk of having a child, only to be a victim of someone else's "unloved child". I just can't deal with that kind of loss, and nothing is promised to me in this life. I love children, but the adults who surround them are not always in the right state of mind. Maybe if more adults could show me that my child could be safe in this world, I would take a chance, but our prisons are becoming more and more crowded, so I don't think it will change. Adults are twisted, so I'm going to spare my seed. | |
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| People that don't have~nor EVER want kids..what do you think?
Posted: 12/12/2005 11:32:05 AM | | I simply don't want to bear children because I'm really not comfortable with the idea of something so huge growing inside of me for nearly a year. If I ever feel a need to nurture I'll adopt. And if it's REALLLY important for my future husband to have biological children then we'll save up $20,000 to pay another woman to be artificially inseminated and carry the child to term. Hey, if a couple can't afford to do that then I say they shouldn't be having any children. | |
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| People that don't have~nor EVER want kids..what do you think?
Posted: 12/12/2005 11:41:57 AM |
Hate to add to your paranoia but do you realize there are more people killed in car accidents than there are kids abducted and killed or worse by sickos?
I would sure as hell hope so!
That doesn't make it any better!
"Paranoia"? Who me??? I over analyze, but I'm not paranoid... I just choose to not have children.
Children are not born bad, the adults just screw them up! | |
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| People that don't have~nor EVER want kids..what do you think?
Posted: 12/12/2005 11:47:36 AM | LOL ...
That would be counselor... That would be counsellor here in Canada (where we don't drop letters) You've missed my point ... and we're off topic anyhow. DD's right to decide whether or not he fathers children is undisputed. Every kid is a risk though. Heck ... some still die in childbirth. It's one of those sad facts of life.
Steve | |
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| People that don't have~nor EVER want kids..what do you think?
Posted: 12/12/2005 1:29:10 PM | Of the responses I've read, and many are right on, none that I got to, seem to address the first part of your question. "People that don't have..." I don't have. And not because I didn't want them, or wouldn't have made a good mother, or couldn't afford to bring 'em up. It was just the hand I was dealt. And later, I chose to remain child-free and not adopt. Yes, there are times when I wish I could have gone to the PTA meetings, the ball games, the graduations, and the weddings. However, I do not feel I was deprived in any way. I love kids and have been very involved with my own nieces and nephews and very proud of how they are turning out. And when the men I meet have children, I think that is really wonderful.
Charlie Girl | |
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| People that don't have~nor EVER want kids..what do you think?
Posted: 12/12/2005 1:52:43 PM |
OP, are you kidding? I do have a beautiful daughter who's almost 30, but I was through with having kids at age 25. Not everyone's primal instinct is to procreate
No, I'm not kidding. My primal instinct is obviously very strong. I did not start this thread to judge others...it is purely for my education. Being Catholic, I was taught to believe that we are put here to procreate...and I recently started to question this....sooooo, to get other's views and beliefs...I started this thread.  | |
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| People that don't have~nor EVER want kids..what do you think?
Posted: 12/12/2005 5:04:50 PM | Artand soul:
Thanks for your responses and I did not and do not think you are the enemy....LOL...But we all have predispositions to the ideas and reasoning’s why people do certain things (this post being in reference to remaining childless)…so I appreciate all of you have listened to the other side of this assumption....
And I too always ask the person I'm dating why they have chosen not to have kids if that was their preference. (I believe it's a question worth asking a potential life partner) but I'm open to the fact that there are many reasons and answers...
There are great parents (natural or adopted or sibling (so to speak) and the world is always made a better place when all adults surrounding a child make good role models and provide great guidance...
As we all agree, any one can have a child but that does not make any one particular person worthy of being a parent. To all of us who have the instinct to care deeply when a child hurts and needs protection, and can also revel in their pure joy of life, I salute you!!!! | |
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| People that don't have~nor EVER want kids..what do you think?
Posted: 12/13/2005 10:51:54 PM | *You'll be able to answer your own question when you're watching all the grandparents in the Home.
No disrespect intended to anyone. It's your choice.*
@lone56wolf
and i respect your opinion, after all we all have one. But can i also say that having worked in the field of aged care for a fews years, there is nothing sadder than the elderly who have had children and they sit there for days on end waiting for at least one visit and it never comes...that has to be worse surely, knowing that someone should visit but never do? | |
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AI03™
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Joined: 5/3/2005
Msg: 221 | |
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jimb77
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Joined: 8/30/2005
Msg: 223 | |
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| People that don't have~nor EVER want kids..what do you think?
Posted: 12/14/2005 10:24:43 AM | I am 40 yrs old and don't have children. My maternal instinct is so strong that sometimes I feel my life is meaningless because I don't have children. I cannot understand people who have children and don't want them. For me it is a very difficult and emotional subject. People say that I look a lot younger than I am, and because I have not been 'inititiated into the craft of motherhood' I often feel that I am not accepted truly as an adult. I find it hard to fit in to society.
I transfer my maternal instinct to other activities such as looking after pets and I have also worked with children with the riding for the disabled association and the social services. At times, I've found looking after other peoples children too hard for me, especially when the mother of a child who was suffering from autism got angry and shouted at me 'you don't know what it's like to be a mother'.
Going somewhere in your imagination may not be the same as actually going somewhere, but I can imagine. I have been to Newgrange, but it was closed and I did not actually get
to go inside the chamber. I have a picture of it.
I can understand that somebody who has been very badly damaged themselves as a child, such as being born and brought up in a war zone, may be reluctant to bring a child into the world in which they grew up.
My Dad, while bringing up my brother single handedly, repeatedly said to me that the world was not cut out for single fathers. I know he had great difficulty. But I can still see my brother skipping round the garden in a clowns outfit shouting 'Dad, you wouldn't be here if it weren't for me'.
Even if I don't have I child, I know that there has to be a point in life. If there's not I have to find one. | |
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| People that don't have~nor EVER want kids..what do you think?
Posted: 12/14/2005 1:33:16 PM | It makes me sick how many women say they want kids..blah blah blah, then they HAVE THEM and end up as single moms with a couple of young children looking for a dad on Plenty of Fish!! Take a look, it seems that at least 70% of women 30 to 35 have children (at least one) and 35 to 40 its more like 80%. SICK SICK SICK!!!!!
It's not that I am against children, but think and plan before hand!
Also, take a look at the explosive population, and the deterioratin enviroment! And, this country is in HUGE ECONOMIC TROUBLE much more than anybody could imagine and that the mainstream media does not report.
Take a look at this link if you don't belive me http://www.financialsense.com/stormwatch/oldupdates/2004/0804.html
Certainly any child born today, will have a huge reductioin in their standard of living. Only the very rich will only survive, while the poor will be in huge trouble.
Sorry, I did not take the time to read the pages of posts. Mostly this is directed to the OP. | |
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