| Why do women say they want the nice guy but really dont?
Posted: 1/26/2007 5:03:15 AM |
Nice guys don't finish last. They might be a dying breed, but we're the minority here. Far and few between,
Really?? I don't think so. Just look at this thread! (goodness, I've made it page 10, lol)
The conundrum lies in trying to discern truly nice guys from the multitudes that portray themselves as such and suffer from this "syndrome". In fact, how do ANY of us know if we're nice? Isn't that for others to decide?
Also, I must say I don't understand all the questioning of people's "definition" of a nice guy. ?? Nice means nice. Look it up!
Oh, this little dictionary I have says....Pleasing, courteous or considerate, delicate or subtle.
Sounds pretty straight-forward to me. I have yet to understand what on earth that has to do with dating and meeting your perfect match. | |
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tigg
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Joined: 11/17/2006
Msg: 202 | |
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| Why do women say they want the nice guy but really dont?
Posted: 1/26/2007 8:51:11 AM | well I know I'm a nice guy and I don't need somwone to tell me that. If by helping a stranger fix a flat, giving a homeless person a meal or helping an old lady carry her groceries for her doesn't mean I'm a nice guy, then I'm an ass. Well I guess if we didn't have a perfect match, divorse rates would be higher and there would be more unhappy marriages in this world then there are now. There is not no syndrome for this guy ! You either like me or hate me.
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tigg
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Joined: 11/17/2006
Msg: 204 | |
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| Why do women say they want the nice guy but really dont?
Posted: 1/26/2007 1:07:06 PM | | It totally applies to women as well. A woman that is needy and dependant is a total turn off. I myself like strong women that don't need me to be with them every min of every day. I like woman that have a life of their own and that can be without me for a night. I am not talking booty call type stuff, but if I want to go out with my friends without her, then I don't want to have to walk on egg shells about it. I am the same way with her. | |
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| Why do women say they want the nice guy but really dont?
Posted: 3/1/2007 5:06:26 PM | Define "Nice"
Smarmy, obsequeious, bootlicker, doormat, pushover?
Nobody wants this from a guy or a gal
Decent, forthright, honest, opens doors, chivalrous, assertive?
Why the hell not.
What I can't figure out is why Scott Pederson, who murdered his wide and daughter, got 35 marriage proposals the day he went to jail for life???????????????????
Some ladies I guess, just have a bad boy fetish that won't quit!
Bad boys become bad men.
I don't think anyone, save the 35 loonies above, wants to partner with a bad mate....or do they? | |
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| Why do girls say they want the nice guy but really dont?
Posted: 3/7/2007 10:32:49 PM | | I think those women want nice guys, but still someone secure with themselves enough to be firm with their beliefs an principles. Someone who doesn't bend not only to their wil, but to the wil of other's. I think the big piece to that age old puzzle is confidence without the insecurity of arrogance. | |
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| Why do girls say they want the nice guy but really dont?
Posted: 3/7/2007 10:41:05 PM | I agree with Lennie...everyone has a different opinion of what "nice" is...
and for me...there's a huge difference between someone who is respectful and caring and someone who is a pushover...yes please to the former...no way to the latter... | |
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| Why do girls say they want the nice guy but really dont?
Posted: 3/10/2007 2:13:00 PM |
Do people think the same senario applies to women... can a woman be too nice or too dependent??
Yup ! The latter is what I cant stand . When you dont call every day its an insult . When you wanna get off the phone and its an insult , When you wanna go out by yourself and its an insult , When you just basically need time to do your own thing and its an insult . I am starting to get a ****ing tight chest just thinking about this . | |
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| Why do girls say they want the nice guy but really dont?
Posted: 3/10/2007 4:43:41 PM | Having not read the whole thread I'm sure I'm quoting someone else here right now, but I'll throw my hat in regardless. I'll probably get my face stomped on for some of my views though LoL.
It's not that women aren't attracted to nice guys. It's that they ARE attracted to confident guys. Now the problem seems to be that those of us who define ourselves as "nice" don't necessarily define ourselves as being "confident" as well. And it's true, confidence comes from success, and without a history of success behind you, it seems that it's innordinately tough to be confident in what you're saying or doing. Especially around the opposite sex where the effects of what you do or say can be catastrophic.
Now, I've got friends on both sides of the board - nice and jerks. And the thing that seems to hold true is that the jerks are self-assured, and when you believe something is going to happen, it usually does. So they get the girl (sorry if I'm typecasting here), and the nice guy who doesn't have a clue what to do, or what to say doesn't open himself up. So if he doesn't open himself, up or talk to the girl how is he going to get the chance to be anything more then that guy she saw across the room? | |
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fuzzle
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Joined: 4/27/2006
Msg: 216 | |
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| Why do girls say they want the nice guy but really dont?
Posted: 3/10/2007 10:30:06 PM | because, when push comes to shove, we are no different than watching Nat. Geo. channel. no woman wants some guy who tries to be dominant when concerning day to day issues. but nature evolved us to the point where a alpha type male gets the girl (mate). somewhere down deep in our genetic code, it's the warrior/hunter/provider that was considered the ideal partner. as long as a man treats a woman with respect she will be attracted to the "rough" boys. the guy who will get things done, provide and protect.
picture this scenario...............you're at a bar/lounge/niteclub and some jackas$ is annoying you. would you rather be with the guy who say's "Honey, maybe we should leave, it's getting worrisome here" OR would you rather be with the the man who says to said jackas$ "Back off, you are stepping over the line" and is willing to back trhat up. The later are a dying breed and social engineering has made them unacceptable. My humble opinion. | |
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| Why do girls say they want the nice guy but really dont?
Posted: 3/11/2007 11:08:03 AM |
Do people think the same senario applies to women... can a woman be too nice or too dependent??
Damn right we do!
But it seems that society has two different sets of guidelines that define men and women.
-A guy who is too nice is referred to as "a push-over"
-a woman who is too nice is refered to as "clingy" or "needy"
As for the whole confidence issue - "suck it up - be a big boy and just go talk to the girl" ---easier said than done! I don't lack confidence or initiative, when it comes to things that I know, but as we've seen in this thread, even some women don't know what they want which means a men has been touched by God if is knows women.
How do people know if they are nice? Or an ass? Nobody has to say that you are a nice person in order for you to know it. Look at the people who choose to know you, If you have a new "best friend" ever month or two - odds are you don't fall into the nice category. The number of people somebody can call friends says nothing about nice, it is the quality of friend and the longevity of friendships.
(Anybody is welcome to disagree with me, but in a thread topic like this one, the vast majority of responses will be based on personal opinion - so don't tear me a new one if you disagree with the above post) | |
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| Why do girls say they want the nice guy but really dont?
Posted: 3/16/2007 6:53:08 PM | | I have my idea of what a nice guy is, believe me, not all guys who think they are nice, are even close! However, all the men i know have some wonderful endearing qualities, soon i might have my nice guy! Until then.......... | |
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| Why do girls say they want the nice guy but really dont?
Posted: 3/16/2007 7:48:04 PM | Without having read the first 9 pages of this, the answer is simple.
the nice guy is frequently lacking in confidence and looks. You don' t need both, but, by God, you better have at least one of those. | |
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