Snow_7
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Joined: 7/28/2005
Msg: 51 | |
| would you give this guy another chance?
Posted: 9/2/2005 2:25:23 PM | Wow! You gave him a second chance and it fell through. That bites. But that does not mean that there is no one out there (or on here) who is decent. I feel for you and yes, we all have other things going on that affect how we react to situations. I hope you can find a way to let it go and accept goodness when it comes your way. Sounds like you are going through hell and it is not a great time to be dating, but when the time is right it really doesn't matter where you go to meet people. Wherever you go you will find honorable people and dishonorable people. Don't cross on line dating off of your list of possabilities, because it is just like any other form of dating. You win soetimes and you loose sometimes. Be confident in yourself and keep your standards high. If a man doesn't reach your standards, move on. Count your blessing that that you didn't get more involved with him before you found out he is a cad. It seems to boil down to communication, and email conversations can be so missunderstood. My advise is in future, before getting so mad you create a negative reaction, find out all the details. Be calm and confident in yourself and if a man does not meet your standards, move on. Of course I am far too accepting of people and don't get upset to the point of slinging mud. I just say my truth and hope for the best. I think people on here can be very harsh in their judgments, but it is an open forum, so if you don't want to hear truthful opinions, don't post your questions here. Or protect yourself by keeping to the facts that matter. He stood you up, questionable excuse, do you give him another chance. Period. You kind of walked into all the critisism with the extra details of your night. Isn't it nice how many people supported you though? So who cares what everyone else says. Just shrug it off. Maybe they don't get you. Obviously more than one person here cared enough to send you good vibes. That is pretty cool. So don't dissapear. You might meet a wonderful person who is your match, it could happen today, or tomorrow, or next month. It might not happen, but it might. Smile and know your worth.  | |
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| would you give this guy another chance?
Posted: 9/2/2005 2:26:46 PM | | i know i didnt read this forum right! my lasik surgery didnt work. i thought i read where you only had $4.00. meeting at a drive-in to get to know each other? vision is blurring here....how do you get to know someone without conversation. crying at the gas station? now there's some drama...if you were that close to home couldnt you have called someone? hmm never mind me.....i stay confused........you waited an hour an a half???? i would have gone on home...if he had called you could have been there in a few minutes...thats it i am calling my optomitrist right now...no wait...lets make that my lawyer!!! | |
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| would you give this guy another chance?
Posted: 9/2/2005 4:09:54 PM | Look, neither I nor anyone else is out to "bash you" or "rip you to shreds". The tone and the information in your OP is quite different than the latest post. Drama, indeed. I would write extensively about the futility of suicide but I'm quite sure you have no intention of harming yourself. Dating isn't always easy but you do have to sort yourself out a bit and confront some issues with the "professionals" who are trying to help you. You can't reasonably expect to walk into a relationship with someone while you have these unresolved issues. Furthermore, this is a terrible place to seek help.
There are lots of people in here who like to chat with folks, there are plenty who want sex. Condemning all of mankind only suggests that you probably aren't ready for dating right now at this stage in your life. Going out there being so needy and hanging all of your hopes on some total stranger you have never even met yet will only get you hurt.
I wish the best for you, I really do. | |
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| would you give this guy another chance?
Posted: 9/2/2005 5:00:30 PM | Wow, what a thread this one is....almost sorry I opened it up cuz now I am compelled to add my penny's worth.
I too find it amazing that so much was hung on a meet and great and so little preparation. Things that struck a chord that even more were the comment that you didn't have this guy's number. That one wreaks of things not said....was/is he married? Why would you not have a way to contact outside the computer.
If I had something come out from left field and new someone was waiting in a make/year vehicle, I might have called the ticket or concession and asked if someone could deliver a message....(given my assumption you have no cel).
Not enough money, not enough gas, and way too little on the self worth side of the coin to even fathom why you would subject yourself to that?
I feel for you, I really do. All I can say is don't look to have yourself affirmed on the internet....don't put your worth and value in the hands of someone you don't know...or anyone else for that matter.
Continue with the professional help...seriously. It will get brighter.....or the train will strike.... | |
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| would you give this guy another chance?
Posted: 9/2/2005 6:55:42 PM | | Did he have your phone#??? If he didn't, how could he possibly have gotten in touch with you to inform you of a change of plans? And why a drive in??? Change your ways, and meet people in very open, public places. | |
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| would you give this guy another chance?
Posted: 9/3/2005 8:55:25 PM | | the guy smooth criminal was talking about is a friend of mine. He refuses to come to this thread and i have bite my tongue till now..He has always been nice to her and she was always using false profiles on here...he was leary about meeting her especially at a drive in because he didnt know what he was walking into....she could of been a man looking to hurt someone as he said...she was very persistant and would not take no for an answer....then she told him she was gonna kill herself over him...he was freaked so he did meet her..(against my advice)...at the end of the date he had to call her ex husband to get her because she had overdosed.....her ex was very nice as my friend said but smooth was a little off to put it nicely...she used this thread to get to him and i feel not right...after husband got her he had to commit her...she will be back in a few days and i hope she no longer feels ill nor talks bad about a good man who wanted nothing but the best for her... | |
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| would you give this guy another chance?
Posted: 9/3/2005 10:20:11 PM | ^^^^ wow, what a drama show, is this gonna become a reality show soon?
smooth, you gave it a shot but u made one major mistake, you put all your eggs into ONE basket and if this didnt work out you were going to do what? Move to a convent? NEVER EVER EVER place so much emphasis on any one person romantically when u start seeing them that the chance of disappointment will floor you so bad you won't be able to breath again.
If you have choices your choices will be your out. I can't tell you how many times I had intuition a girl would flake and when they did I always had an out and never thought 2nd about it. You flake on me, your loss not mine. I don't play that crap. I'll find me another girl even that same night and its all good. We may even make out hot and heavy and that first girl will be a blip on my radar. Structure meeting places that give u an alternative to meeting others. Social settings not a drive-in for cryin out loud. Thats where you go when your ALREADY in an established relationship NOT the first time. Bad move there.
Always have a back-up plan. My back-ups usually involve other women who are free to join me if the first girl flakes. Their is nothing better then walking past the girl who flaked on you with another girl on your arm. Oh, the sweet taste of choices.
Choices give you POWER and power gives you more choices. Its a never ending cycle. | |
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| would you give this guy another chance?
Posted: 9/4/2005 1:25:25 AM | ^Lara there are guys like me that wouldn't of minded to talk with you in but due to your age restrictions we can't you see I'm also native American I tried to write you I'm 49 years old Sorry to hear someone so crass had to be the one you got interested in. hope you give this another try. We are not all a like.(us men that is )  on girl you have alot going on for you. | |
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| would you give this guy another chance?
Posted: 9/4/2005 2:41:52 AM | | OP: Sounds like a pretty fishy story to me as well. Sounds like something an 16 year old would write, not a grown woman with children. | |
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| would you give this guy another chance?
Posted: 9/4/2005 12:48:19 PM | | @one for you.......I, for one, am grateful that you came into this melodrama to shed some light on the other side of this saga. I'm sorry for the OP's troubles but I'm not even remotely surprised to find out the truth behind the scenes. It sounds to me as if your buddy is a pretty good guy, I'm not entirely sure how I would have acted under the circumstances myself but standing someone up, even if they are giving you the willies isn't very cool (although completely understandable) - I wouldn't wish a date like that on anyone! | |
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| would you give this guy another chance?
Posted: 9/4/2005 1:21:06 PM | at the end of the date he had to call her ex husband to get her because she had overdosed.....her ex was very nice as my friend said but smooth was a little off to put it nicely. after husband got her he had to commit her...
one question which is it her ex husband or her husband? Ex's can't have you commited you can commit your self. Only way he could of done that is if he was a doctor and even then I would question the ethics of doing so.  | |
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| would you give this guy another chance?
Posted: 9/4/2005 3:45:07 PM | I was gonna say NO SECOND CHANCE. I'm glad I kept reading. The same thing happened to me several years ago. I e-mailed with a girl for a few weeks and we decided to meet. After our first date she bailed on our second. We rescheduled, and she came over on a Friday night. we picked up a 6-pack, rented Gladiator and ordered a pizza. I must digress here because I have to tell this story. As I was getting ready to leave work that night my roommate-cousin called and we realized that my car had been stolen out of the parking garage in my building in Toronto. So Leigh drove to my place and we picked up the beer and a movie. I phoned the police and made a report when we returned. After we'd eaten the pizza and drank a beer or two, we put Gladiator in. Halfway through the movie the big screen tv shut off. It had just come back from the repair shop so I figured it was still broken. She asked "is there another tv?" and I replied, "yes, in my room", so we brought a bunch of pillows in and nested in my bed. We started making out during the movie and she ended up spending the night. The next day I realized that my cousin had set the internal tv timer and that was why it shut off. My life is full of Seinfeld episodes.
Back to the story, between each actual date, another was cancelled. We went out 4 or 5 times and had 4 cancelled dates. The situation didn't get any better. It ended with a bang. I took her out for dinner at a nice Greek restaurant that she picked the Friday night after her birthday. I had offered to take her out for her birthday which was on a Wednesday, but she said she had plans. She e-mailed me the morning of to say her plans fell through, but she missed her chance with me. I e-mailed her the following Monday to ask how her girls' night out went Saturday and I never heard from her again. This type of clientele is all too common around here.
Yesterday I noticed that the girl who stood me up 2 weeks ago is back online. Apparently she met someone but things didn't work out. "Should I e-mail her?" crossed my mind, but when I thought about how it went down when she stood me up, I realized that she missed her chance. There are too many batters here to give anyone more than one strike. | |
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| would you give this guy another chance?
Posted: 9/4/2005 3:54:26 PM | wow.dont take this dating thing so seriously.and if u do go out to meet.dont go unprepared ever.meaning they do stand up sometimes so always have that backup plan..and take more then 4$ with u ..and change for the phone to call someone u do know if God forbid u get stranded.
dating is supposed to be fun.you are going to meet jerks and you are going to meet sweet sweet men.same for the guys ,its a hit and miss sometimes.But relax give the guy another shot but make it somewhere u feel comfortable.and u can get home without and strife. | |
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| would you give this guy another chance?
Posted: 9/4/2005 4:08:27 PM | | You waited an hr and a half? Yikes girl! Today I was to meet someone and waited 15 mins....that was enough of my time wasted! Turns out he was at a store in the same city with the same name.....we each thought there was only one. LOL. However he called. I think even with an emergency he could have found 2 mins to call you. If not then that sucks and he could have called as soon as he had a moment.....you waited days for a call? Kick him to the curb.....move on girl. As for the gas story, that wasn't his fault. | |
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| would you give this guy another chance?
Posted: 9/4/2005 4:39:11 PM | Back to the story, between each actual date, another was cancelled. We went out 4 or 5 times and had 4 cancelled dates. The situation didn't get any better. It ended with a bang. I took her out for dinner at a nice Greek restaurant that she picked the Friday night after her birthday. I had offered to take her out for her birthday which was on a Wednesday, but she said she had plans. She e-mailed me the morning of to say her plans fell through, but she missed her chance with me. I e-mailed her the following Monday to ask how her girls' night out went Saturday and I never heard from her again. This type of clientele is all too common around here.
Yesterday I noticed that the girl who stood me up 2 weeks ago is back online. Apparently she met someone but things didn't work out. "Should I e-mail her?" crossed my mind, but when I thought about how it went down when she stood me up, I realized that she missed her chance. There are too many batters here to give anyone more than one strike.
Almost sounds like she might be married and playing the field | |
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| would you give this guy another chance?
Posted: 9/4/2005 5:05:51 PM | | Hi , if you like him and think he is sincere then give him another chance! What do you have to lose? If he is a no show again then forget about him and move on. He is not worth your tears you hardly know him!! And the only way for you to know if he is sincere or not is to re-schedule! So if you must know, go for it!! Try not to let these guys have so much control over your emotions. I know it is hard but really you need to stay in control!! Remember, there are plenty of fish in the sea! | |
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| would you give this guy another chance?
Posted: 9/4/2005 5:17:21 PM | Oh my goodness! You won't beleive but the same thing happened to me. I had met a fellow and we kept IMing but when push came to shove, he said he wanted to meet again . . I get dumped for a Sunday date, for someone had passed away. No, no wait it gets better. It was his uncle's 2nd wife's mother! NOw this was on the Monday and apparently he had family gatherings right up to the Sunday. . . . Will I give him a second chance? Feels kind of flakey to me. Naww! You? You'll have to decide but I thought my story was funny to share.
Enjoy!
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| would you give this guy another chance?
Posted: 9/4/2005 8:21:45 PM | | I've known people who went to pieces for months over the death of a pet....how can you all feel so callous towards the death of a family member? Do you really think for one deluded moment that you are so important that someone in the depths of their grief over a dead loved one cannot be forgiven because they forgot to call you? I'd like to think that I would make a call just out of common courtesy but if I forgot and you gave me a hard time over it....not giving me a second chance wouldn't really be up to you at that point. | |
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